Your Man Just Got Engaged...Now What?

[LizLeila]

This was an old thread! I wonder what happened.

Yeah I noticed it was from last year --almost to the day. I hope the OP got through it ok.

 

[taraglam2]

Let it go.... It probably wasn't you, it was him. Men tend to settle down with whoever is in their life at the moment they decided to settle down. It doesn't matter how many women were before that or how perfect they might have been, they weren't ready so it didn't matter. Women on the other hand tend to look for "the one" and then go at it from there.

Thank you bmoreflygirl !!!! I have seen this many times with many of our friends. My husband is career military so I have seen guys do this all the time. Be the playa playa on one base for one or 2 years and go to a new base and decide to settle down at that military base and whoever the female they start dating is "the one" they end up marrying because they thought it was time to settle down.

After I graduated college I guy that I had dated off and on for five years told me he was engaged and getting married and I was like "What in the world?" I just went ahead and started focusing on myself and 3 years later I met my hubby.

 

[Blackoutzangel05]

Wanted to get some opinions. If the man you want became engaged to a girl he's known for less than a year...what do you do? Especially if he said he wasn't rushing to get married just a few months earlier. (and this was THE man you've wanted for soooo long.)

You don't want to "throw in the towel" because...there's that shred of hope that maybe he won't go through with it...(or maybe he'll fall in love with you. ) But, then you worry that that's wrong and you should give up. Next thought, is that, you give up and wonder what maybe could have been?

Has anyone been in this situation? What did you do? What do you do when giving up doesn't feel right, but pursuing it...could be pointless...at least that's what they tell me.

Move on because he was never your man if he is engaged to someone else. I am not saying this lightly, I have fallen hard for someone that I know I would make a great woman for but he didn't see. So eventually I had to let it go and realize that he wasn't for me. That took time and a lot of prayer but it can be done. I wouldn't even squander in the what if's or I can love him better, just let it go, and live your life.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

Do you honestly want a man who would be willing otlet go of an engagement for someone else? He's not YOURS anymore. I would let it go.

I am a true believer in "how you get 'em is how your gonna loose 'em."

What makes you think he won't turn around and do it to you? This ain't no "love and Basketball" or any movie for that matter. This is real people with real feelings. I would push my selfish feelings to the side and let him live in peace. Be grown about it.

Now, if it doesn't work out, that's a different story. But a man that would leave an engagement says a lot to me. It tells me that that is not a kind of man I would want to be with.

 

[MizAvalon]

This thread is a year old.

Did this man get married OP?

 

[Farida]

As someone said, he ain't your man

Wanted to get some opinions. If the man you want became engaged to a girl he's known for less than a year...what do you do? Especially if he said he wasn't rushing to get married just a few months earlier. (and this was THE man you've wanted for soooo long.)
Well, he wasn't ready then, but maybe he is now. I know lots of guys who say they aren't ready to be married even on the morning of their wedding...denial I tell you!

You don't want to "throw in the towel" because...there's that shred of hope that maybe he won't go through with it...(or maybe he'll fall in love
with you. ) But, then you worry that that's wrong and you should give up. Next thought, is that, you give up and wonder what maybe could have been?
Well, you can hold on to hope but don't expect much, plus if he doesn't marry her it doesn't mean he'll want you.

Has anyone been in this situation? What did you do? What do you do when giving up doesn't feel right, but pursuing it...could be pointless...at least that's what they tell me.

Don't pursue a taken man. If y'all are meant to be together it'll happen without your meddling in his affairs.