Your hair doesn't look natural!

[tashboog]

Hello Ladies,
I'm natural and I believe I'm a 4a/b. Whenever I talk to people about my natural hair journey, they tell me your hair doesn't look natural. They comment your hair looks relaxed! I have kinky 4 type hair but I wear it in stretched styles such like my avatar. I do twist n curls, braidouts, and curly fro using flexi rods. I get so annoyed because I feel like I always have to defend myself to other people about having natural hair! I can see if I had type 3 hair but I don't! Does any one else get comments like this from the black community?

 

[Lovelylocs]

Stop talking to people about your hair. It's really none of their business anyway. Why do you feel like you have to defend yourself?

 

[EllePixie]

Why do you have to defend yourself? Who cares if they think it looks relaxed? People are so ignorant about natural hair that anything that isn't a microphone afro you had to "do" something to it. It's weak sauce, tell them spring is a great season for kicking rocks with no shoes on and keep it movin'.

 

[nappystorm]

^^^I agree. I stopped defending my hair years ago. F*** em.

Love your pic. Is that a twist out or a flexi rod set? How did you do it?

 

[~Sparklingflame~]

Id just say I'm relaxed bone srait and look dead serious about.

 

[Qurlyqt]

I understand where you're coming from but I agree, I wouldn't even try 2 offer an explanation. My response would simply be, "well I am."

 

[AlliCat]

Your hair is so pretty it doesn't look like 4z that's why everyone thinks u got a perm

I guess that's what you wanted to hear? I'm just kidding but I agree with @Lovelylocs and @EllePixie it's really none of their business what you do to your hair! Which really is lovely btw. Just ignore those ppl and KIM

 

[tashboog]

Well the people I'm referring to are in my inner circle. Some of them are natural as well but my hair doesn't look like theirs so I'm guessing that's why they say it looks like a roller set on relaxed hair. I'm proud of being natural but it just annoys me when people have their own definition of what natural hair should look like. I know I shouldn't let it get to me but I live in Ohio and having natural hair isn't the norm especially in my hometown! If I let my hair air dry without being manipulated then I have an afro just like them but I just choose not to wear my hair like that because I'm having enough issues as it is on my hair journey.

 

[EllePixie]

...And? My point still stands. Why are you defending your hair, and why do they feel like they are entitled to comment on it? They aren't too good to partake in a good rock kicking session either.

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

Some of them are natural as well but my hair doesn't look like theirs so I'm guessing that's why they say it looks like a roller set on relaxed hair.

Anyone that is natural realizes that the beauty of natural hair is that it's unique--no two heads of hair are the same.

 

[tashboog]

^^^I agree. I stopped defending my hair years ago. F*** em.

Love your pic. Is that a twist out or a flexi rod set? How did you do it?

Thx ! It's a twist n curl in my avatar with perm rods on the ends. I just twist my hair in 6 medium twist and curl the last inch of hair then let it air dry.

 

[allmundjoi]

I thought natural hair was chemical-free hair that reverts when exposed to water. Whateva the def, you should never have to defend your hair, esp to your friends. Now having said that, they are there to keep you from looking crazy, but that doesnt appear to be the case. Check 'em and keep it moving.

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't matter." Dr. Seuss.

Sent from my DROIDX using Long Hair Care Forum App

 

[tashboog]

...And? My point still stands. Why are you defending your hair, and why do they feel like they are entitled to comment on it? They aren't too good to partake in a good rock kicking session either.

Let me first say that I love your hair and your youtube channel !!! You are right, I need to just ignore people when they talk ignorant and just keep it moving! I already had to tell some of my coworkers off about their little nasty comments about my hair so I need to do the same to them as well! I don't know why people feel like they have the right to make comments but some of them are just bold nowadays!

 

[Lucie]

I've always had people tell me that my hair looks natural when I am relaxed. My hair is pretty resistent I suppose and always looks fluffy. I don't know how people get their hair bone straight.

OP, don't even worry your pretty little head over what anyone thinks but you. Everyone's critic. Everyone has an opinion. But, only YOURS matters. Your hair looks great in your avatar!

 

[allmundjoi]

tashboog, maybe there is something about you that folks think they can get away with saying crazy stuff to you. It could be my position, my age, but folks would never talk crazy like that to me. Chop someone off at the knees (an even-toned verbal assault devoid of foul language, but containing an intelligent spin that would shock Einstein and Malcolm X) publically and this may stop.

Sent from my DROIDX using Long Hair Care Forum App

 

[EllePixie]

Let me first say that I love your hair and your youtube channel !!! You are right, I need to just ignore people when they talk ignorant and just keep it moving! I already had to tell some of my coworkers off about their little nasty comments about my hair so I need to do the same to them as well! I don't know why people feel like they have the right to make comments but some of them are just bold nowadays!

Aw thanks! I was the same way when I first BC'ed...I'd be all, "Omg I can't believe they said that about my hair!" And now I'm like... "Who told you to speak to me about my hair?" I guess I'm just a mean natural now lololol.

 

[Lady S]

Hello Ladies,
I'm natural and I believe I'm a 4a/b. Whenever I talk to people about my natural hair journey, they tell me your hair doesn't look natural. They comment your hair looks relaxed! I have kinky 4 type hair but I wear it in stretched styles such like my avatar. I do twist n curls, braidouts, and curly fro using flexi rods. I get so annoyed because I feel like I always have to defend myself to other people about having natural hair! I can see if I had type 3 hair but I don't! Does any one else get comments like this from the black community?

I can honestly say my stubborn arse 4a hair will never look relaxed. Even my relaxed hair didn't look relaxed.

I think people of this misconception of what natural hair is supposed to look like & behave. You hair stretched doesn't look like my hair when it's stretched, they just react different but they're still natural. So, it sounds like when your hair stretches "silkier" then mine does. But I guess the idea never crossed their mind.

I think next time someone says it, you should act real serious and go "Yes, you caught me. I slather on the Hawaiian Silky at night, I just. . I just can't get past the tingly feelings on my scalp that only relaxers can provide. Yes, I wear natural styles, but I need to smell it. I need to see the white cream sitting on my hair every 4-6 weeks. I've been living a lie (pun intended) all this time, trapped in the relaxed closet. Why, lawd, why?!?!??" and then pretend to cry dramatically. Never underestimate the power of sarcasm.

I guess you could wear your hair unstretched a couple of times to shut them up, but I don't think you should. Wear it the way you like & if people want to be ignorant then that's their problem.

 

[Lovelylocs]

tashboog, maybe there is something about you that folks think they can get away with saying crazy stuff to you. It could be my position, my age, but folks would never talk crazy like that to me. Chop someone off at the knees (an even-toned verbal assault devoid of foul language, but containing an intelligent spin that would shock Einstein and Malcolm X) publically and this may stop.

Sent from my DROIDX using Long Hair Care Forum App

Or you could just look at them like they're crazy. I agree. It's how you carry yourself.

 

[tashboog]

tashboog, maybe there is something about you that folks think they can get away with saying crazy stuff to you. It could be my position, my age, but folks would never talk crazy like that to me. Chop someone off at the knees (an even-toned verbal assault devoid of foul language, but containing an intelligent spin that would shock Einstein and Malcolm X) publically and this may stop.

Sent from my DROIDX using Long Hair Care Forum App

I agree with you about that but I'm not a youngster by know means! lol! I'm 38 years old and trust me I don't have the personality that let people run all over me. But I must admit that I try to be a happy go lucky person and I think that opens the door for people to make comments about me. But trust me I do have a nasty side and the sister girlfriend will come out on occasions. I'm an engineer and a lot of those males are very opinionated at work but they now know to keep their comments to themselves. Now I just gotta go off on some of the the people in my inner circle .

 

[knt1229]

I don't think it's "the way you carry yourself". I think some people can be jerks and that doesn't have a thing to do with you.

Most people have no clue what healthy well-cared for afro-textured hair looks like. Even some naturals swear up and down that their type 4 hair can't look this way or that. This is the reason people challenge you when you tell them your hair is natural. For most folk type 4 hair can only look one way and that way is afro-y, puffy, kinky, and rough. Anything else then you must use heat or chemicals.

Like others have said just let them know that it's really none of their business what you do with your hair and KIM.

 

[reeko43]

Might be a little shade throwing going on. I mean, your hair looks really good. Maybe they can't pull off the versatility like you can. Maybe they just need to shut up and take notes.

 

[westNDNbeauty]

Why do you have to defend yourself? Who cares if they think it looks relaxed? People are so ignorant about natural hair that anything that isn't a microphone afro you had to "do" something to it. It's weak sauce, tell them spring is a great season for kicking rocks with no shoes on and keep it movin'.

I LOL-ed @ that.

Op. The person you are talking to obviously doesn't have much knowledge (and that me being nice). Give 'em the side-eye and keep it pushing.

 

[tashboog]

I LOL-ed @ that.

Op. The person you are talking to obviously doesn't have much knowledge (and that me being nice). Give 'em the side-eye and keep it pushing.

I also love your hair and youtube videos as well! I've learned a lot watching your videos! I'm planning on using your method when I straighten my hair next month !

 

[westNDNbeauty]

I also love your hair and youtube videos as well! I've learned a lot watching your videos! I'm planning on using your method when I straighten my hair next month !

Thanks! I really hope it works out for you!

 

[lilsparkle825]

Well the people I'm referring to are in my inner circle. Some of them are natural as well but my hair doesn't look like theirs so I'm guessing that's why they say it looks like a roller set on relaxed hair. I'm proud of being natural but it just annoys me when people have their own definition of what natural hair should look like. I know I shouldn't let it get to me but I live in Ohio and having natural hair isn't the norm especially in my hometown! If I let my hair air dry without being manipulated then I have an afro just like them but I just choose not to wear my hair like that because I'm having enough issues as it is on my hair journey.

What does this mean?

 

[Ms Lala]

I can honestly say my stubborn arse 4a hair will never look relaxed. Even my relaxed hair didn't look relaxed.

I think people of this misconception of what natural hair is supposed to look like & behave. You hair stretched doesn't look like my hair when it's stretched, they just react different but they're still natural. So, it sounds like when your hair stretches "silkier" then mine does. But I guess the idea never crossed their mind.

.

Ditto w/everything you said right here. My hair never looks relaxed. Even my relaxed hair was kind of puffy. People don't realize that someone can have a similar curl pattern but different hair characteristics like density, thickness, and silkiness that can make their hair look different than another persons. They may just really not understand how you get your hair like that or they think you are secretly texturizing your hair or something. My hair clearly looks natural and I have never and probably will never get those types of comments.

 

[tashboog]

Some of them are natural as well but my hair doesn't look like theirs

What does this mean?

It means that most of them wear their hair in traditional natural styles like twist outs, afro puffs, blow outs or wash n go's. I don't like the way my hair looks in these styles so I tend to wear my hair in stretched styles. For example if I wear a puff I will put bantu knots in my hair first. I think I'm mostly 4b and my hair does not look silky smooth. I guess that's why it annoys me cause I have kinky hair! Here are a couple of pics of my hair. One is bantu knot out puff and other is unmanipulated no product puff. As you can see in the second pic that's natural hair !

 

[tashboog]

Ditto w/everything you said right here. My hair never looks relaxed. Even my relaxed hair was kind of puffy. People don't realize that someone can have a similar curl pattern but different hair characteristics like density, thickness, and silkiness that can make their hair look different than another persons. They may just really not understand how you get your hair like that or they think you are secretly texturizing your hair or something. My hair clearly looks natural and I have never and probably will never get those types of comments.

Ms Lala you are one of my hair idols and I love your hair and youtube channel as well! Oh I can't wait to have hair as long as yours some day! A gal can dream !

 

[~Sparklingflame~]

Some of them are natural as well but my hair doesn't look like theirs


It means that most of them wear their hair in traditional natural styles like twist outs, afro puffs, blow outs or wash n go's. I don't like the way my hair looks in these styles so I tend to wear my hair in stretched styles. For example if I wear a puff I will put bantu knots in my hair first. I think I'm mostly 4b and my hair does not look silky smooth. I guess that's why it annoys me cause I have kinky hair! Here are a couple of pics of my hair. One is bantu knot out puff and other is unmanipulated no product puff. As you can see in the second pic that's natural hair !

Now that I have seen more evidence, at first glance one would think that you were relaxed.

 

[tashboog]

Ok here are two more pics. One is bantu knots and the other is a puff with water and little bit of gel.