Your friend says he has feelings for you... Now what?

[*SkolarStar*]

My guy friend started a few weeks ago of hinting that he has feelings for me and lately he's been all out saying it. We've been friends for around 8 years. When we were freshmen in high school he expressed liking me but I paid him no mind because it was high school. Now he's bringing it back up. I reply that have no feelings for him. Nothing. And I'm not attracted to him physically because I'm not into big guys, he doesn't know that part though. He's a great friend though. He would just make a horrible boyfriend.

I went to his house for a movie night and this guy was so drunk and high that he couldn't take me home. It's 2 in the morning so I called my best friend and she was there in 5 minutes to take me home.

What do I do? And give me the truth. I'll handle it. TIA.

 

[Melody.Monroe]

You tell him the truth. Just like you said - you are NOT attracted to him or big men. That is not going to change. Let him know that you understand the feelings he has for you but that they are not mutual and you dont want to ruin an 8 year friendship for any reason.

I've had to do this. I have one successful male-female relationship that was NEVER sexual, or EVER emotion involved. It is rare. Seems that one person will always start to feel something more for the other person.

I think him being hurt behind it is inevitable, but he still needs to know how you feel. I would also ask him to refrain from telling me or showing me that he likes me like that. Truth of the matter is that you may end up losing a friend if he can't handle the truth...

 

[Windsy]

You have to tell him the truth all of it...even the part about his weight and why you think he'll not make a good boyfriend for you.

He can probably benefit from the truth in someway.

 

[NaturalRed]

Be prepared for him to not hang out with you as much/anymore after you talk to him though.

 

[southerncitygirl]

tell him the truth( and also tell him you value his friendship & want to keep things strictly platonic) and start to distance yourself from him.the more y'all hang out the more he may think he has a chance. he could possibly start trying to lose weight to woo you.

 

[carcajada]

Be prepared for him to not hang out with you as much/anymore after you talk to him though.

This. And I think often male friends feel some sort of attraction to their female Friends even if they don't verbalize it or act on it.

 

[Flawless_JYM]

This. And I think often male friends feel some sort of attraction to their female Friends even if they don't verbalize it or act on it.

I agree but just wanted to add I feel it goes both ways.

 

[Dacia38]

Just let him know that you value his friendship too much. I had a dear dear friend for 12 years and messed it up by "going there" with him. I realized after several months that while I love him I wasn't in love with him. Clearly his feelings were different, but I couldn't continue on that way. Unfortunately, he couldn't move on as just friends after having been intimate. Here it is 4 years later and I still miss one of the best friends I've ever had. I would NEVER risk losing a true friend again.

~Dee

 

[drappedup]

Be prepared for him to not hang out with you as much/anymore after you talk to him though.

Yep, this has always happened to me. Suddenly, we go from being good friends to being distant acquaintances.......

This. And I think often male friends feel some sort of attraction to their female Friends even if they don't verbalize it or act on it.

I agree. I think more often than not, males are attracted to their female friends on a physical level, which is fine, but it's when they catch feelings that the friendship is truly downhill.