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You Proved Your Doubters/Haters Wrong--Share Your Stories Please

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My family learned LONG AGO not to doubt me when I say I'm going to do something with my hair (i.e. grow to WL (did that), go natural (did that--twice), and now I'm growing a full head of long, natural hair)...so I don't even elaborate on my goals or hair care practices. I said I wanted WL hair before I chopped, and I achieved that.

Since I mostly wear wigs, my mother says, "So when are you gonna stop wearing wigs?" I said, "Well, if you notice, I only wear them in the cooler months...pretty much Sept. through April." And I added, "Even when I grow my hair out like I want, I will still wear wigs occasionally because I like the convenience and not putting stress on my hair, yet being able to switch my style and color whenever I feel like it." She doesn't say anything (which must mean I shut her up because she always running that mouth). I also stated, "I have seen women with hair WL and longer who CHOOSE to wear wigs to give their hair a break and to protect it."

(Inside I was secretly thinking, you might wanna give 'em a try yourself if you wanna have any hair left in 10 years as much as you relax it and as see-thru thin as it already is...) But that is moms, ya know...gotsta be respectful. LOL but can't tell 'em nothing. My silly 23 yr old sister thinks EVERY black woman with long hair MUST have Indian or Latino ancestry. SO STUPID. She says that ridiculous quip, "Oh she has long hair, she must have Indian in her, or maybe she is MIXED." I just look at her with the side-eye...tsk tsk tsk No use trying to educate such ignorant people who are set in their ways like they've been on this earth 80 years--which is why I'm glad I do my own thang in another state and have my own views and information!


P.S. I have had phony mofos in the church act like they are so happy to see me and hug me just to pat my hair to see if it's real or feels like plastic. :lol: Naw be-ah...this all real and you might wanna ask for some tips while you're in the investigative mood. Ha Ha wait til I grow it out natural. If they thought I was nice as a relaxed head...JUST WAIT. I can't stand phony people.
 
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Everyone always used to tell me the reason why my hair wouldn't "grow" was because I needed to go to the Dominican salon every week for a wash and set. That was false because as soon as I started treating my hair better MYSELF, my hair is now thicker and longer without the help of going to the Dominicans every week.
 
Let me start by saying that I don't think my hair is in ANY way long, but for most of my adult life (and all of my teenage life), I've had ear to neck length hair that ALWAYS was extremely thin, with broken ends. Meanwhile, one of my close relatives always had thick long hair that grew to whatever length she wanted (she mostly kept it shoulder length--she goes to salons, so they cut it off all the time). She would always make smart comments to embarass me about my hair and always swung hers in my face. My hair now is the healthiest it has ever been and I'm looking forward to being BSL for the first time in my life.

Now that my hair has improved, several family members have complimented how well I take care of my hair on my own (thanks LHCF). The only person that hasn't complimented me is that relative that always teased me. I totally get excited when people compliment me in front of her. :yep:
 
I pray that Jesus Allah Yahweh Buddha Bhagwan and the DAMN tooth fairy that your hair will grow to waist lenght in 1 year so you can swing it as her mean arse




sj73 said:
Let me start by saying that I don't think my hair is in ANY way long, but for most of my adult life (and all of my teenage life), I've had ear to neck length hair that ALWAYS was extremely thin, with broken ends. Meanwhile, one of my close relatives always had thick long hair that grew to whatever length she wanted (she mostly kept it shoulder length--she goes to salons, so they cut it off all the time). She would always make smart comments to embarass me about my hair and always swung hers in my face. My hair now is the healthiest it has ever been and I'm looking forward to being BSL for the first time in my life.

Now that my hair has improved, several family members have complimented how well I take care of my hair on my own (thanks LHCF). The only person that hasn't complimented me is that relative that always teased me. I totally get excited when people compliment me in front of her. :yep:
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***Victory is Mine said:
There is this one girl who is a freaking know it all, one upper that works my nerves. She always has something to say. Plus she likes my dh so she is really on my list. Here's how it went down.
Stupid chick: Why did you cut all of your hair off?
Me: Because it's mine. Why do you care?
Stupid chick: You know it's going to take forever to grow it back right?
Me: Blink, blink, blink

Fast forward she sees me at an event and my back is to her. She doesn't know it's me and was even asking who the girl was with the long hair. They were like that's Q isn't her hair beautifu? :blah:

This is how she looked :thud:
Stupid chick: Wow Q your hair has really grown. What are you doing?
Me: You know the usual stuff that's all.
Stupid chick: It's longer than mine now.
Me: I know, crazy huh?!!!

Oh and I was getting so much attention from people that she suddenly had something wrong with her :rolleyes: So everyone was with her trying to make sure she was okay. All of a sudden she couldn't breathe and had to leave although she was fine just a frew minutes before she saw me. Yeah, RIGHT!!! Q
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OOOOMMMMMGGGGGGG!!!!!!!! this is TOOOOO funny! I LOVE IT! She was .38 HOTTT about your hair so she became a hypercodriac....? That is sooooo sad. She should have asked for tips.
 
No real haters, except one of my suitemates. We've been friends since my freshman year, and saw my hair go from NL (cut it all off when I left high school--from APL to NL was such a fresh start!!), to SL, to APL then back to SL when I began to go natural. She "ppushed" me to cut a few times when we'd get our hair done together, commenting on how "raggedy" my ends looked. So.

After a couple of years, i stopped going to the salon we both frequented (too much heat!!), and then began hanging on the boards. now she see's me DC-ing and with a fully natural head of almost APL hair...she mad.

but i love her, and always share my products. knowledge is contagious, right?? in the meantime, I'll steam and DC all the live long day if i want, and ignore her side-eyes.
k.i.m.
 
Jewell lol @ the pat down. I had a guy do that and think that it was ok when I wore my hair down one day. Instead of just asking he starts feeling my head for tracks. I thought it was rude because I didn't give him permission to touch my head. I don't understand why people feel like they just have to know.
 
I do have one story and its just that one particular family member would tell me I spent too much time researching ways to grow longer hair but now they are asking me for help. I don't mind helping either but it does take some commitment.
 
lol my dad is always hating on my hair.
he hated it when a couple years ago, i stopped being a heat damaged natural, cut the straight ends off, and wearing my hair in curly/natural styles. always talmbout how short it was and how i "ruined it" and it was all nappy now.
lol mind you i don't take that stuff seriously, i'd just lolz and KIM. cause lawd knows i don't let other ppl's comments about hurr bother me. u styling it? u Dc'ing it? you paying for my products? NO. then zip it.

anyways, tonight i just did my hair in a flexirod set. how bout he was like, "that all your hair?? like, there's no pieces or anything?"
i just grinned, and shook my hurr in his face. he dug his hands all up in there, looking all shocked. i just laughed.
take that, Dad. (we're always competing about something stupid in my fam, lol).
 
Neith said:
Stuff like that makes me sad. I'm lightish (truthfully I don't even LOOK mixed, people just zero in on my skin color):yep:, and people assume that's why my hair is growing out and looks healthy. People also assume that my hair is naturally "soft" and I've gotten the "good hair" comments :rolleyes::yep:

I'm as black as anyone else and I was blessed with some of THE COARSEST, kinkiest hair I've ever seen.:look::look::look::look::look::look::yep:

Even if I was mixed... a lot of mixed people's hair is no joke either. It's kinda like not giving credit where credit is due. You see a long, beautiful, healthy head of hair... 95% of the time that person took special care of it. Regardless of the hair type.

Not that I'm upset or think that you or your friend are somehow bad people. I'm just sad that the mentality behind it is there and so common.:yep:




My hair isn't long yet, but my mother came around. She thought my hair would fall out because "I'm not white" and I can't wash my hair and do all that extra stuff to it :rolleyes::lol: Now she asks me to do HER hair!
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YOU SAID IT SO CORRECT!!!!
 
I shaved my hair off in 2003 and 2010. I am MBL now. One particular woman made disparaging comments about my hair not growing back or that I added in some tracks for length. Currently, she is still SL - APL and has not shaved her off at all. LOL! She pretty much discusses everything but her progress with me now. Her silence is golden.
 
Every time I travel to visit my family, I blow out my newly natural hair just to shake it in the face of all the woman who taunted me as a child. Because I wasn't born with the type 3a hair they had....my hair wasn't as long, wasn't as curly, "needed a perm"....etc....

As an adult they Thought I was crazy when I went natural.

Now my hair is longer and healthier than all of them! Heehee.....

#nowyallwanthairadvicefromme
 
In my personal life, I don't have anyone saying anything out of line or doubting me, but at work, I have the hair police.
When a coworker found out I was transitioning, she actually said, "Don't come to work looking nappy." Imagine I'm sitting down in my cube and she's standing over me talking to me like I'm a 3 yr old. She continues, "You know...kinky."
:shocked:I'm not quick on the draw, and I find myself explaining my hair decision to a woman who has never relaxed her hair. I'm mad at myself for letting her make me feel a certain way. I'm a grown woman...shoot.
Anyway fast forward through all the comments about my going natural because I can't afford to go to the beauty shop and how I have no life outside of my hair. I decided to install mini braids(thanks LHCF!). She's all up in my cube telling me how pretty they are, and she wants to know how I curl the ends. Which I think she doesn't believe that I just moisturize it. :ohwell: Oh how, she wishes she had the thickness that I have...blah blah blah.
Even though I want to say something crazy to her, I just thank her and return to work. One of these days I will straighten it. I'm contemplating wearing it to work that way or not. I would love to show her that not only is my nappy hair thicker than her's, it's also longer.:yay:
 
I don't have anyone in my life that makes negative comments but I have doubters. When I touched up my hair three weeks ago, I sent a Glide (video/text) message to my best friend showing her my hair. She complimented my hair and asked me when I will do my next touch-up. When I told her in about 16 weeks, she proceeded to tell me that I'm supposed to do it every 6 weeks. :blush:

I told her that in the healthy hair community, most women stretch their relaxers (and I gave her the reasons why). She didn't buy it. She also laughs at the fact that I wash my hair twice weekly (or at least once) but admires how healthy my hair is. She has bra strap length hair herself but she keeps it under a weave and never does her own hair.
 
This thread is one of the many reasons why I love this site
It reminds me that I am not the only kinky/curly haired sister with the problems I think are exclusive to me

I started reading this thread a few weeks ago and I remember thinking "When I finally run into that one person next year...", but next year never happened. Instead 2 weeks ago happened.

When I was younger I was one of those young black girls with a big head full of hair, and a neglectful mama that wouldn't always do it. As well as family members that were reluctant to style it. So needless to say I was walking around with a head of long messy a$$ hair. It broke off terribly due to summers at the beach and just stayed damage until god knows how long.

Anywho my mom and dad split up and my dad had this new girlfriend whom had a daughter. Her daughter was always doted over for being semi light skin, with light brown eyes, and good hair. Hated this. Didn't understand why I was constantly being compared to her, I knew it was wrong but did not know what do do about it. My dads gf would do my hair and comment on it negatively on a regular basis.

ONE FINE DAY I over hear her saying this, and I quote "How can HER mother be mixed puerto rican and HER hair is nappier than my coochie hairs?" WTF!!!!!!! I was just hitting my early teens so that ish right there ruined me. I had no positive reinforcers in my life to tell me otherwise, and my father sure as hell wasn't going to say anything because he wants to continue to get the pum. #WayToGoDad

Fast forward to earlier this summer. I ran into my dad's gf's daughter. Her and I kicked it for a bit and of course as females the topic of hair came up. Come to find out her hair was heat treated/damaged/texlaxed when we were younger and her mama was tryna fake the funk like that was her NATURAL HAIR. She told me that she saw the damage finally in COLLEGE and big chopped. WHen she did everyone realized finally that she had hair closer to 4a than 3b. She loved it and learned to embrace the hell out of it.
Now her and I go back and forth with hair advice, sadly she is still heat trained/damaged BUT she is completely natural.

NOW AS FOR THAT MOMMA OF HERS
I unexpectedly ran into her 2 weeks ago while I was meeting up with the daughter. She said she barely recognized me and we went to hug each other. THE FIRST THING OUT OF THIS WOMAN'S MOUTH IS " OMG Your hair has grown so long. You are finally letting it grow." My hair was in medium box braids and in a bun (I'm layering from SL to BSB so I have some hang time going on there. But I honestly didnt want to run into her until I got to waist length but I digress.) With one quick movement my bun was down and my braids were swanging and dangling on my shoulders and down to my AP. I told her "Oh really?Thanks, I've decided to let it grow just these past two years."
Then this heathen says to me "You hair looks like your mama's." WTF does that even mean. Is she now validated as my parent because we are hair twins. Do I finally have a decent enough hair texture to have a lil mix in the background. GRRRRRR

I am glad to finally have that over with but I really want to run into that one when my hair is hitting the waist because she comes from one of those snobby "We are going to claim INDIAN in our family because everyone has SUPPOSED good hair and random LIGHTer babies" Either way at the end she was offering her braiding skills up. NO thanks mama keep those bad vibes over thurr thank you berry much.

I'm going to save the story about my dad's gf's NIECE for another post. That's a good one too.
 
My family always has some comment about my hair, me being natural, me taking so long to style my hair blah blah blah. They are so obsessed with my hair and what I do with it. My own aunt told me that I would NEVER grow hair down my backb because I'm not mixed. My hair would never grow long because I don't have a soft grade if hair. I proved them wrong several times over with BSL relaxed hair and naptural hair! When I showed them my progress to prove that they were misinformed, my aunt said "oh, yeah of course you can grow long hair. Your great great grandmother was white!:-(. Really lady? I gave up at that point, I've never heard of this mythical white granny until my hair started growing long! What a strange coincidence
 
Bump bump bump

I know y'all got some stories in 2019. When I first wenr natural and told my DH that I wanted to be WL one day, he said "yea right" and would constantly tell me that I needed to stop being extra with my hair. As soon as I reached APL, I rubbed it in his gave at every opportunity and then he would have the nerve to brag to others that my hair was all mine. Thanks to being flat iron happy, I had to cut the top of my hair back to NL and I shaved the back off in an undercut. The top is now CBL and the back is NL.

I have family members that brag about having good hair but it never seems to reach long lengths. I know for at least one of them, it's due to bad hair care practices. She is not allowed anywhere near my daughter's head. Poor baby would be bald headed all over again before she turns 2.

I have a cousin that I convinced to go natural and stop coloring her hair because she wasn't willing to put in the work to take care of it. She still doesn't put in the work to take care of her natural hair but at least it's more forgiving when she neglects it. She went from EL to MBL in 2 years. The ends are badly heat damaged because she loves the flat iron and won't do proper protein treatments but it'll grow out and she can keep her length.

My family has watched me big chop more than 3 times so they know that I can grow my hair out. They kind of think I'm a one off person with nappy hair that grows but their hair would retain length too if they quit abusing it.
 
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