YOU GUYS I REALLY NEED HELP I AM ABOUT TO GO CRAZY!!

[Knedgers]

My SO and I just got back together after I broke up with him seven months ago. Because had really become adicted to video games. Besides that he was selfish and I am an extremely giving person so that just didnt work for me. Mind you he wasnt always like that everything chaged all of a sudden you kno how that goes. We were together 11/2 when i broke up with him.

Well while we were broken up I met a guy. He is a years younger than but a truly sweet and caring guy. He got me through some rough times and I have really grown to care about him. So, since my SO and i have gotten back together I have kinda had to cut off contact with him but I miss him so-o much. I wasnt ready to let him go. My SO is returning back to tthis video game cycle and i am starting to believe he is just never going to be the person I want him to be.

I just dont know what to do I am going in circles and I am tired of it. I am starting to feel like I much rather just chill with my other friend. Because I miss him and we had good times. I am so fed up and confused. someone please help

 

[FlowerHair]

Re: YOU GUYS I REELY NEED HELP I AM ABOUT TO GO CRAZY!!

I think you already know the answer to your question.
Sometimes we miss that relationship that we hoped we would have had, but it never turned out that way. And so we try again, but if people don't change, the relationship won't change either. I mean, both parties need to make an effort, you can't be the only one working on your relationship.

If I were you, I would let my SO know that things aren't really working out for me the way I had imagined because of the video games and move on to explore the situation with the other guy.

I know Oprah said once that love is how the other person makes you feel. How do these two men make you feel when you're with them?

 

[Knedgers]

Re: YOU GUYS I REELY NEED HELP I AM ABOUT TO GO CRAZY!!

With my SO I feel great when he acts right
With the other guy I feel great all the time.
My SO seems to anger my more than I am happy now. I dont love him and probably always will but this relationship is just not what I want. I cant change what I want and need. I dont feel that I am being unreasonable should I give things time

 

[Knedgers]

Re: YOU GUYS I REELY NEED HELP I AM ABOUT TO GO CRAZY!!

By the way my SO was doing GREAT at first but now i guess he has gotten comfortable again

 

[Colliecole]

Re: YOU GUYS I REELY NEED HELP I AM ABOUT TO GO CRAZY!!

With my SO I feel great when he acts right
With the other guy I feel great all the time.
My SO seems to anger my more than I am happy now. I dont love him and probably always will but this relationship is just not what I want. I cant change what I want and need. I dont feel that I am being unreasonable should I give things time

You cant change people....if he's not willing to change, you gotta accept SO for the way he is now, or accept that you need more for yourself and move on. Otherwise you're going to start to resent your SO, and it may end in disaster. Talk to SO, give him the ultimatum....I couldnt take the video game or football obsession

 

[Extremus]

Re: YOU GUYS I REELY NEED HELP I AM ABOUT TO GO CRAZY!!

I think you already know the answer to your question.

She said it best

 

[firecracker]

Re: YOU GUYS I REELY NEED HELP I AM ABOUT TO GO CRAZY!!

Leave the video game addict alone with his games and go make yourself happy. We all want that special someone to share life and moments with but ultimately we are responsible for our own happiness.

 

[tocktick]

imo, you went back to the other guy because of the comfort of already knowing someone; you had that familiarity. also while you were split up you might have got into the zone of temporarily forgetting about how truly bad his negative characteristics were. that's just a guess though.

anyway, imo, you broke up for a good reason and you shouldn't have got back together. the new guy you've met is showing you where your current so is lacking. you don't necessarily need to start a relationship with the new guy but i think you should end it with your current so. it seems he has only changed on the surface in order to appease you for a short while. as you say, he is falling back into the video game cycle which shows that he was not genuine in the first place.

good luck.

 

[tocktick]

Re: YOU GUYS I REELY NEED HELP I AM ABOUT TO GO CRAZY!!

With my SO I feel great when he acts right
With the other guy I feel great all the time.
My SO seems to anger my more than I am happy now. I dont love him and probably always will but this relationship is just not what I want. I cant change what I want and need. I dont feel that I am being unreasonable should I give things time

imo, this is how a lot of women trap themselves in relationships that are going no where. they feel a strange sense of obligation to their partner and that they must "give him another chance" and "work things out". when deep down they know damn well nothing will ever change. a person should only only work on recovering their relationship when they love their partner and know that they are actively trying to correct the mistakes in the relationship. you don't even love your so nor is he wiling to change.

i'm not understanding why you're still making your self miserable by sticking around. the only theory i can come up with is that you feel like you do not deserve better when in actuality, you do. do not compromise your own happiness for the sake of some dead-end relationship.

 

[Knedgers]

i guess i stay because i know what he could be.... i know i shouldnt operate of potential but it hink thats what im doing

 

[Sugar Brown]

Re: YOU GUYS I REELY NEED HELP I AM ABOUT TO GO CRAZY!!

I think you already know the answer to your question.
Sometimes we miss that relationship that we hoped we would have had, but it never turned out that way. And so we try again, but if people don't change, the relationship won't change either. I mean, both parties need to make an effort, you can't be the only one working on your relationship.

If I were you, I would let my SO know that things aren't really working out for me the way I had imagined because of the video games and move on to explore the situation with the other guy.

I know Oprah said once that love is how the other person makes you feel. How do these two men make you feel when you're with them?

ITA. Also remember that lessons are repeated until they are learned.