Would You Tell?

[vevster]

I voted no. When my friend and her then boyfriend were dating, I told her that my boyfriend said that her boyfriend was cheating with the caveat that my boyfriend might’ve been the cheater trying to throw me off the trail. My friend got mad at me and stopped speaking to me for awhile.

Fast forward 3-5 years, my friend is now married to the guy and his friend tells me that her husband has another woman pregnant. I kept my mouth shut. When she finally found out and I admitted that I knew about it, she got mad at me and stopped speaking to me for awhile.

Lesson learned. I keep my mouth shut.

Unless I'm misunderstanding, this is a different scenario. If some guy lied to me pursued me and we were dating 9 months with all that entails... I'm blowing up his spot and telling his wife. We are both victims. If she doesn't to listen, I don't care - she was told.

 

[Reinventing21]

I can't vote because to me there is no answer to this question. It is such a gamble that depends entirely on the kind of people involved in this scenario.

As far as the wife already 'knowing'. Well, 'suspecting' and 'knowing' are not the same. When a person suspects their SO is cheating, there is still the hope that the SO is not. That's why people can have a zillion clues, but still cling to the hope that they are not being cheated on.

Once you know without a doubt though...some will choose to stay and some won't. What seems like logical choices, becomes moot when emotions are high. That's why most people don't really know how they will react to something until it happens.

 

[Miss_Luna]

Please don't quote...

Nevermind....No, I wouldn't tell.

The best revenge is moving on with your life and finding some peace and happiness.

 

[luckiestdestiny]

I'd ghost him. I would not give any indication why. He'd stop receiving calls and if possible, I would not go to places where he would be, etc.

I would not even waste the time digging to find out who the wife was. Why? So thus no need to tell her. If I found out, just by chance, I still say no because you never know how ppl react. Sometimes it is appreciated but most times not . The person doesn't know you but trusts their spouse. Hence they may cling to any word or excuse that they might have and as a result direct their anger to you (or in this case me since I'm imagining this is my situation). Next thing I know some deranged woman is showing up places where I go and/or making threatening calls, and/or (for bonus childish points) possibly enlisting her crew (be it family or friends) to also harass me. Nope.

Then there's the man. Now he's possibly coming at me for blowing up his spot. Crimes of passion usually happen in cheating relationships. I'm not interested in someone directing their anger towards me, and definitely not interested in that possibly turning violent. No thank you.

So thus I'm out. Good luck. I wish her well and hope she finds out on her own and/or listens to her intuition because I am not going out of my way to let a random woman know. I am not interested in getting in the middle of a relationship where a guy has managed to lie to me for months. Goodness knows what he's managed to tell her and if she believes him or not. Not interested in finding out or being a part of some new drama.

 

[caribeandiva]

I'd ghost him. I would not give any indication why. He'd stop receiving calls and if possible, I would not go to places where he would be, etc.

I would not even waste the time digging to find out who the wife was. Why? So thus no need to tell her. If I found out, just by chance, I still say no because you never know how ppl react. Sometimes it is appreciated but most times not . The person doesn't know you but trusts their spouse. Hence they may cling to any word or excuse that they might have and as a result direct their anger to you (or in this case me since I'm imagining this is my situation). Next thing I know some deranged woman is showing up places where I go and/or making threatening calls, and/or (for bonus childish points) possibly enlisting her crew (be it family or friends) to also harass me. Nope.

Then there's the man. Now he's possibly coming at me for blowing up his spot. Crimes of passion usually happen in cheating relationships. I'm not interested in someone directing their anger towards me, and definitely not interested in that possibly turning violent. No thank you.

So thus I'm out. Good luck. I wish her well and hope she finds out on her own and/or listens to her intuition because I am not going out of my way to let a random woman know. I am not interested in getting in the middle of a relationship where a guy has managed to lie to me for months. Goodness knows what he's managed to tell her and if she believes him or not. Not interested in finding out or being a part of some new drama.

My feelings EXACTLY!!

 

[Ganjababy]

I would want to know. But would keep my mouth shut because mire than likely the wife will not believe you and it could backfire.

 

[yaya24]

9 months is a long time.

I'm telling.