Would You Feel Like He Was Dumping You?

[naturalmanenyc]

I really want to post some questions but he isn't really a friend, just an older guy I knew in high school.
I'd love to know why he didn't just marry her before he moved away if she was insecure about the change being for the best.
Then again, 15 years and all these kids later and she didn't require a marriage certificate so why change it now.

Yeah. Even if he stayed (or moved back at this point), she should ask herself a few questions as well.

Like why stay with a man who was willing to breed you out (as this one guy I know always likes to say) but not willing to marry you???

Why stay with a man who was willing to leave you behind to be a single parent and raise four kids on your own? Even if he got a job and was sending huge checks, raising four kids takes work! It's just selfish. Dude ain't going off to war; he's moving just to kick it!

I had (HAD!) a friend who did something similar. After his divorce, he moved to take another job out of state leaving his ex-wife to raise their two kids as a single parent. I gave him HELL!! He should have just continued working at his old job or gotten a new job near his kids. So when deciding whether to take one kid to practice or tutor the other kid, one kid will always get the short end of the stick or the ex-wife gotta rely on a stranger to pick up his slack. Punk! I refuse to deal with anyone who is so selfish as to leave their kids behind. I really told him off especially because his parents were married and lived in the same town for the benefit of their entire family. I'm sure at some point all our parents would have loved to have started over in some way but they stayed and sacrificed for the greater good: their kids!

 

[PrissiSippi]

*sings* Take me to the KANG. He hasn't nothing to BRANG. *sings*

 

[MuziqizLyfe]

I wouldn't be surprised if he moved to be with another woman. I bet a sixth kid shows up in the next year or so

 

[Harina]

Someone seriously posted this on Facebook?

 

[MsNaturalcurl82]

This is such a terrible situation for the woman and her children. This man has no regards for the relationship or his kids. You stated that he said that he's waiting until "she proves herself" for him to marry her. He impregnated her 4 times. So why was it a good idea to have 4 children with someone he thought was unworthy? This is such a load of bull. I think she should just set a plan in motion to get ready and be a single mom, get an education and decent paying career if she doesn't have one already. Gather up family and friends for support. Let that loser go on with his life. Because he clearly doesn't want her. She'd be better off without him. Find a way to explain it all to the kids.

 

[Cattypus1]

She is not making "plans" to be a single mom, she already IS! She needs to be making plans to get that child support and get on with her life.

 

[tuffCOOKiE]

you're describing an aint ish kang- a$$ n!66a

 

[movingforward13]

Deja vu- minus 3 kids and 10 years add engagement ring and wedding two months after his move.
He is leaving her. She needs to file for child support. Anything less would be short changing herself and her kids. No MAN is going to leave his family. No MAN is going to move away to another state... And if he did, his family is going with him.

 

[SurferBabe]

Sounds somewhat similar to what someone I know is going through except the people I know are married. The man moved out of state recently to find a job. He's living with friends and the wife doesn't feel like he's been seriously trying to find a job. Their agreement was that he'd find a job and move her and the kids to where he is but it's looking more and more like he's using this as an escape from marriage and fatherhood. He spends his days playing video games and his nights are spent drinking with his friends while his wife is back home working two jobs and taking care of their children.

 

[Mortons]

Why would he move out of state without a job offer? Why not just visit to do interviews while looking for a job?

 

[naturalmanenyc]

I think he's leaving her too...but I don't know these people well enough to post anything.

 

[Farida]

I stopped at your boyfriend of FIFTEEN years. That's all you need to know to conclude he is dumping you.

 

[ang3lface816]

So pushing out the five kids wasn't proof enough? What else was he expecting?

Horse and pony tricks, juggling scarves, the works.

 

[intellectualuva]

 

[MzLady78]

This is such a terrible situation for the woman and her children.

This is a terrible situation for the children. She's a damn fool.

 

[Lucia]

Your boyfriend of 15 years moves out of state to find a better job (no offer but he intends to search).

Hold up did you say 15 YEARS???!

You have 4 kids with him.

His argument is change is always good and your home state has nothing to offer.

He also says that he will marry you, someday.

His face right after he said that....

This guy is asking people on Facebook to convince his girl that this is for the best, for the family, since apparently some people (in real life) are "filling her head with negative stuff".

His face while typing that.....

Most of their people on FB....

For real dude?



My face....

 

[VAIS4LUVAZ]

I wouldn't be surprised if he moved to be with another woman. I bet a sixth kid shows up in the next year or so

This was my first thought. SMH

 

[naturalmanenyc]

He seems to be back at home, or maybe it's just for Labor Day.
He posted photos of the family and went to a cookout.

 

[Lucia]

He seems to be back at home, or maybe it's just for Labor Day.
He posted photos of the family and went to a cookout.

When he sees that HE can't do better and the grass ain't greener he'll be back for good.

 

[Lucia]

This is messy especially for the children. There was never any reason for him to marry her it doesn't matter that she can do 1 handed hand stands while twirling a flaming baton she'll never be able to prove herself to him.

Living Together 101 bka Contracts 101

The reason is because this is the deal contract they set up together. Even a good business woman wouldn't accept a deal like this. It's a 90-10 deal he gets 90% woman gets 10%


1. We live together as man and wife without me having to commit in any way to you especially not in marriage.

Translation: I'm still single, not married so I can look and dip wherever and whenever I want. But you can't cause I won't stand for it you've got a man.




2. I partake and enjoy all the fruits of your womanly duties such as cooking cleaning laundry sex. I have an available GF 24/7 to take out on dates and family functions.

Translation: you are at my beck and call and my needs must be met after all that's your role as a "good woman".

3. I won't marry someone I havent lived with first, and once everything's going good ie no suprises, then MAYBE I'll get married.

Translation: This the biggest whopper of a lie. He never said he would marry you from the start. That wasn't part of the original
deal. He may or may not marry you but chances are most likely he won't.
Again with his face but some guys can say this with a straight face so look at their actions and ask their intentions upfront.

ETA: but a real man should state his intentions when relationship develops.

He can however dangle that carrot in front of your dumb behind for months and years while you get off BC and push out a few babies hoping to seal the deal and get that ring and you think the better your live in audition is you can change his mind and he'll finally marry you.
He can't leave his kids Right? ... Wrong! If he finds anyone HE thinks is an upgrade from original BM you (ie in OP he has other kids so he's left his kids and BM before) he's gone and he'll marry her and leave BM with those said children.

Those are the cold hard facts and women need to wake up and smell the Bull crap!

 

[KimPossibli]

I really refuse to believe this is real life..

that girl is playing herself..
even ift they were married this type of situation would still be a mess...