Would You Feel Like He Was Dumping You?

[naturalmanenyc]

Your boyfriend of 15 years moves out of state to find a better job (no offer but he intends to search). You have 4 kids with him. His argument is change is always good and your home state has nothing to offer. He also says that he will marry you, someday.

This guy is asking people on Facebook to convince his girl that this is for the best, for the family, since apparently some people (in real life) are "filling her head with negative stuff".

 

[LivingInPeace]

Stop it.

 

[Cattypus1]

Um...No. Who in the I need an intervention heyell has 4 kids with a "boyfriend"?!!! You betta go on somewhere with that crap! I know I sound like I'm judging but I know somebody told her about three kids ago and she didn't want to hear it.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

I swear this is a real situation. I'm watching it play out on Facebook with a guy I knew in high school.

I met a guy a few years ago at a party in NYC who had 5 kids with his girlfriend.
When I asked why they weren't married, although he mentioned planning an out of state move, he said she needed to prove herself. She was not at the party.

 

[OhTall1]

I met a guy a few years ago at a party in NYC who had 5 kids with his girlfriend.
When I asked why they weren't married, although he mentioned planning an out of state move, he said she needed to prove herself. She was not at the party.

So pushing out the five kids wasn't proof enough? What else was he expecting?

 

[Kindheart]

I would move out of state w him .

 

[sunnieb]

Your boyfriend of 15 years moves out of state to find a better job (no offer but he intends to search). You have 4 kids with him. His argument is change is always good and your home state has nothing to offer. He also says that he will marry you, someday.

Girl, stop.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

I didn't ask. The more he talked, the more angry I got so DH made the guy leave.
They were moving to Virginia, where I'm from, so that is what started the conversation.

So pushing out the five kids wasn't proof enough? What else was he expecting?

 

[TayMac]

How many of the kids is he taking with him?

 

[naturalmanenyc]

How many of the kids is he taking with him?

Good question. From what it appears, zero.

 

[Cattypus1]

How many of the kids is he taking with him?

Probably the ones who don't need daycare or babysitters so he can pretend like he's a family man. Women are attracted to that.

 

[sunnieb]

Ok, this is real.

First, she needs to be ON with her birth control. Choose whatever method, but no more kids.

Then she needs to prepare herself to be a single mom of 4 children. Accept responsibility for her role in getting in this mess and move on.

Keep in touch with ol boy to make sure she knows where he is and file child support.

Lastly, get counseling so she doesn't end up latching on to another sorry ass.

 

[LiftedUp]

Since this is real life...

She needs to get it together and go and file for child support and make custody arrangements ASAP. Also, she needs to get legal advice on the "common law marriage" laws regarding where she lives and see if can get any financial redress.

This man is leaving her. Let him leave. Just ensure that she and hers are taken care of.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

I swear this is a real situation. I'm watching it play out on Facebook with a guy I knew in high school.

I met a guy a few years ago at a party in NYC who had 5 kids with his girlfriend.
When I asked why they weren't married, although he mentioned planning an out of state move, he said she needed to prove herself. She was not at the party.

 

[lux10023]

aprils fools right...have to be..becauseeeeeeee

 

[Lymegreen]

tee hee ... no I wouldn't take it as him trying to break up. Like after 15 years, and kids I would let him go and keep in touch. Meanwhile, do research on how to get child support if he decides to act brand new and not provide for us to move with him in the future.

 

[Holla]

So how will he support himself in his new city if he doesn't have a job waiting for him there? Who is he going to live with in the new city?

What made him pick that city and not the city one hour away where he could still commute while being in his kids' lives. Dude in Detroit walked 20 miles a day to get to his job. Dude on HONY walked miles every day just to be able to buy his kids a gallon of milk every week.

What does he do that he needs to leave town to get a job? If he working now? Why can't he sign up a be a UPs driver or store clerk to make money until something better comes along.

Hmmmm. She should have questions! He is being a selfish jerk to leave her with four kids while he just wings it elsewhere.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

The girlfriend's page is private but a few things are public, including a photo she posted recently of her parents wedding with like 20 people in the bridal party.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

He didn't post all the details. I'd guess he is living with friends/family?
He already moved.

So how will he support himself in his new city if he doesn't have a job waiting for him there? Who is he going to live with in the new city?

What made him pick that city and not the city one hour away where he could still commute while being in his kids' lives. Dude in Detroit walked 20 miles a day to get to his job. Dude on HONY walked miles every day just to be able to buy his kids a gallon of milk every week.

What does he do that he needs to leave town to get a job? If he working now? Why can't he sign up a be a UPs driver or store clerk to make money until something better comes along.

Hmmmm. She should have questions! He is being a selfish jerk to leave her with four kids while he just wings it elsewhere.

 

[Mai Tai]

Your boyfriend of 15 years moves out of state to find a better job (no offer but he intends to search). You have 4 kids with him. His argument is change is always good and your home state has nothing to offer. He also says that he will marry you, someday.

This guy is asking people on Facebook to convince his girl that this is for the best, for the family, since apparently some people (in real life) are "filling her head with negative stuff".

I stopped reading after this...

 

[FriscoGirl]

When I asked why they weren't married, although he mentioned planning an out of state move, he said she needed to prove herself.

Let me guess, all she has going for herself are the kids… She doesn't have an education? She doesn't have a career? She doesn't have any short-term/long-term goals?

He's going to find another woman and leave her caring for the kids alone.

 

[hopeful]

I stopped reading after this...

Lol. I don't blame you. Just pure foolishness.

 

[awhyley]

He already moved.

Did he leave her with a forwarding address?
Cause I was going to visit at least once, make sure that everyone knows that he has a family (with four kids) back home.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

The girlfriend is replying to the comments so it seems she knows where he lives and she is thanking the people who are being positive.

There is another child, not hers though. He posted to the other child and the girlfriend responded. So 5 kids at least.

 

[*CherryPie*]

Ooooookkaaaaayyyyyyyy.........

 

[londontresses]

I don't think he's dumping her, just taking the p***. And he knows he can get away with it so *shrug* He'll be back to resume his fatherly/boyfriend duties when he's had a break from the day to day responsibilities and is good and ready.

 

[lux10023]

i read that part and my face went
this is not funny but .....lol chileeeeeeeee

I stopped reading after this...

 

[DarkJoy]

So he has another child by another woman? Did it come before or during their 15 year relationship and their 5 (?) kids? Wooooow.

Smh at all this nonsense.

 

[Holla]

Yeah. Even if he stayed (or moved back at this point), she should ask herself a few questions as well.

Like why stay with a man who was willing to breed you out (as this one guy I know always likes to say) but not willing to marry you???

Why stay with a man who was willing to leave you behind to be a single parent and raise four kids on your own? Even if he got a job and was sending huge checks, raising four kids takes work! It's just selfish. Dude ain't going off to war; he's moving just to kick it!

I had (HAD!) a friend who did something similar. After his divorce, he moved to take another job out of state leaving his ex-wife to raise their two kids as a single parent. I gave him HELL!! He should have just continued working at his old job or gotten a new job near his kids. So when deciding whether to take one kid to practice or tutor the other kid, one kid will always get the short end of the stick or the ex-wife gotta rely on a stranger to pick up his slack. Punk! I refuse to deal with anyone who is so selfish as to leave their kids behind. I really told him off especially because his parents were married and lived in the same town for the benefit of their entire family. I'm sure at some point all our parents would have loved to have started over in some way but they stayed and sacrificed for the greater good: their kids!

 

[naturalmanenyc]

The 5th child appears to be older than the others and the photo he posted shows her holding a baby (grandbaby?) but he didn't mention the baby/grandbaby so it could be a random kid she's holding. These are Black people so they could be older than they appear to me.

So he has another child by another woman? Did it come before or during their 15 year relationship and their 5 (?) kids? Wooooow.

Smh at all this nonsense.