Would you EVER put RELAXERS on your daughter's hair???

[TCatt86]

I am hoping I won't have to but once she becomes a teenager if it's her choice I will let her. Problem is I don't know how to put a relaxer in so i would have to trust someone else to do my child's hair and that would make me uncomfortable.

 

[bamachic08]

Yes I have done this and dont have any problems combing through her hair now.Before it was hell to pay for even bringing a comb near that mega fro she had at two years old.she is about to be five now and i relax her hair every 4 months or so.she likes how it looks afterwards.

 

[audacity.]

I was twelve when my mother took me to the hair salon the get my first relaxer, I'll never forgive her for that.

That is deep.

 

[PinkSkates]

No, I would not apply caustic chemicals near my precious little daughter's scalp?
No, I would not permanently destroy the bonds of her coily hair strands.
If I got the urge to manipulate her hair to make it straight, then I would temporarily straighten her hair using a flat iron.
Now, once she reached the age of 18, she may do as she pleases with her hair.

 

[Chrissmiss]

Yea. I don't have children, but it would depend on her hair texture and her age (13/14). Also if she has the patience and time to keep it healthy.

 

[JustKiya]

No. No. No.

I'm not saying never, I'm just saying no.

I would cheerfully and willingly learn how to burn the crap out of my daughters hair before I supported, paid for, or allowed someone to apply a relaxer to her head.

If her hair was literally that 'unmanageable' - and I don't believe in such a thing - she'd have a TWA until she was out of my house, or she would have dreadlocks (and I don't like dreadlocking children, either) before she had a perm by my choice.

If she walked in the house one day with a perm, I'd be most disappointed in her, just as if she walked in my house as a 16 year old telling me she's pregnant.

It's amazing how Africans - the first people - were able to deal with their 'unmanageable' hair for literally eons, and yet somehow, us folks in the 21st century are just stumped by nappy hair. *sucksteeth*

 

[HeChangedMyName]

As thick and long as my dd hair is now and she is only 2,

. This is with shrinkage. Her hair when stretched it mbl. So i foresee a relaxer in her future. I will hold out as long as possible and maybe do press and curls when she reaches the tweens. When and if I do relax, I plan to send her to a healthy hair professional.

 

[MonPetite]

Not a mother, however, I wouldn't teach her to go to the opposite end of the extreme and teach her to think not relaxing makes her "superior" in some way.

It's a styling option.

Not all people relax to make hair "manageable".

And for those that do, who's to say they are wrong?

5.5 hours to detangle verses 5.5 min.

If my daughter is in multiple sports, activities and enjoying herself and doesn't want to be a slave to her hair NATURAL OR RELAXED she should have a choice and will have my help to nurture her hair however she'd prefer to wear it.

It's hair.

Not life as we know it. Cut it off...grow it back.

She needs to be concerned about education, healthy friendships, staying healthy, her faith, and enjoying her childhood while it lasts in my case.

Other races let their children dye their hair and gets perms at young ages...Is this more tolerable? Why am I not seeing such debates raging every other week on LHC? Or its Asian and/or Latina equivalent?

It seems many who are all for "Black Beauty" (As am I) are defining it as 4b TWA and little else. Heaven forbid you use some juices and berries to relax a curl so you don't end up ripping out.

We're as diverse as our hair textures.

WHY AREN'T OUR MINDSETS ABOUT SOMETHING AS NON-IMPORTANT IN THE REALM OF LIFE THE SAME?

Why is flat ironing more acceptable than relaxing?

Because it's temporary?

The PSYCHOLOGICAL ramifications are JUST as permanent with a flat-iron as they are with a relaxer.

If THAT is what people are concerned about passing on then FLATIRONING too is off the table so to speak.


EDUCATION. FAITH. HEALTH. MENTAL WELL-BEING.


NONE of those things are usurped by relaxed hair.

NONE of them are enhanced by natural hair.

THESE are the things that will matter to me concerning any daughter or daughters I may have.

They way they wear their hair, based on how hair fits THEIR lifestyle, not how they live a lifestyle to "fit" their hair is what is going to matter most to me.

Our future generations need to be more concerned with what's going on inside their heads, not on them. I'm not saying the lovely ladies of LHCF are missing that, but hair styling options are going to take a back seat to life essentials in my future household.

 

[justsimply]

Yes! we have enough Information to go either way, Natural or Relaxed and Support to.

Ditto...I think I would wait until she asked...MAYBE, but I'm just convinced that you can have healthy hair either way.

 

[justsimply]

Not a mother, however, I wouldn't teach her to go to the opposite end of the extreme and teach her to think not relaxing makes her "superior" in some way.

It's a styling option.

Not all people relax to make hair "manageable".

And for those that do, who's to say they are wrong?

5.5 hours to detangle verses 5.5 min.

If my daughter is in multiple sports, activities and enjoying herself and doesn't want to be a slave to her hair NATURAL OR RELAXED she should have a choice and will have my help to nurture her hair however she'd prefer to wear it.

It's hair.

Not life as we know it. Cut it off...grow it back.

She needs to be concerned about education, healthy friendships, staying healthy, her faith, and enjoying her childhood while it lasts in my case.

Other races let their children dye their hair and gets perms at young ages...Is this more tolerable? Why am I not seeing such debates raging every other week on LHC? Or its Asian and/or Latina equivalent?

It seems many who are all for "Black Beauty" (As am I) are defining it as 4b TWA and little else. Heaven forbid you use some juices and berries to relax a curl so you don't end up ripping out.

We're as diverse as our hair textures.

WHY AREN'T OUR MINDSETS ABOUT SOMETHING AS NON-IMPORTANT IN THE REALM OF LIFE THE SAME?

Why is flat ironing more acceptable than relaxing?

Because it's temporary?

The PSYCHOLOGICAL ramifications are JUST as permanent with a flat-iron as they are with a relaxer.

If THAT is what people are concerned about passing on then FLATIRONING too is off the table so to speak.


EDUCATION. FAITH. HEALTH. MENTAL WELL-BEING.


NONE of those things are usurped by relaxed hair.

NONE of them are enhanced by natural hair.

THESE are the things that will matter to me concerning any daughter or daughters I may have.

They way they wear their hair, based on how hair fits THEIR lifestyle, not how they live a lifestyle to "fit" their hair is what is going to matter most to me.

Our future generations need to be more concerned with what's going on inside their heads, not on them. I'm not saying the lovely ladies of LHCF are missing that, but hair styling options are going to take a back seat to life essentials in my future household.

Ditto, Ditto, Ditto. I agree with it all; I just got tired of "bolding" You expressed exactly how I feel.

 

[~*~ShopAholic~*~]

I did it and don't regret it, now I would be a fool if I didn't kow how to properly take care of her hair and it was all damaged and ate up, and I still relaxed her hair. Since that's not the case and her hair is doing lovely and working it's way pass BSL I'm cool.

 

[HeChangedMyName]

Not a mother, however, I wouldn't teach her to go to the opposite end of the extreme and teach her to think not relaxing makes her "superior" in some way.

It's a styling option.

Not all people relax to make hair "manageable".

And for those that do, who's to say they are wrong?

5.5 hours to detangle verses 5.5 min.

If my daughter is in multiple sports, activities and enjoying herself and doesn't want to be a slave to her hair NATURAL OR RELAXED she should have a choice and will have my help to nurture her hair however she'd prefer to wear it.

It's hair.

Not life as we know it. Cut it off...grow it back.

She needs to be concerned about education, healthy friendships, staying healthy, her faith, and enjoying her childhood while it lasts in my case.

Other races let their children dye their hair and gets perms at young ages...Is this more tolerable? Why am I not seeing such debates raging every other week on LHC? Or its Asian and/or Latina equivalent?

It seems many who are all for "Black Beauty" (As am I) are defining it as 4b TWA and little else. Heaven forbid you use some juices and berries to relax a curl so you don't end up ripping out.

We're as diverse as our hair textures.

WHY AREN'T OUR MINDSETS ABOUT SOMETHING AS NON-IMPORTANT IN THE REALM OF LIFE THE SAME?

Why is flat ironing more acceptable than relaxing?

Because it's temporary?

The PSYCHOLOGICAL ramifications are JUST as permanent with a flat-iron as they are with a relaxer.

If THAT is what people are concerned about passing on then FLATIRONING too is off the table so to speak.


EDUCATION. FAITH. HEALTH. MENTAL WELL-BEING.


NONE of those things are usurped by relaxed hair.

NONE of them are enhanced by natural hair.

THESE are the things that will matter to me concerning any daughter or daughters I may have.

They way they wear their hair, based on how hair fits THEIR lifestyle, not how they live a lifestyle to "fit" their hair is what is going to matter most to me.

Our future generations need to be more concerned with what's going on inside their heads, not on them. I'm not saying the lovely ladies of LHCF are missing that, but hair styling options are going to take a back seat to life essentials in my future household.

I agree with everything you said, but I also think the question of whether to relax or not comes from all of our collective experiences in learning that relaxers can be damaging if you don't know what you are doing. Many of us found that out the hard way and seek not to put our daughters through the same issues. one reason why i will send my dd to a professional. But your post was very well stated and so on point.

 

[mrsmeredith]

I did it and all at young ages. I don't regret a thing. All my girls has healthy hair and has been relaxed since 7/8 depending on the child. I believe it's the lack of knowledge that some parents had that makes some think that relaxers are the devil,we see by the beautiful pics on this board of relaxed heads thats not true.

Natural is not the answer to everything, neither is a relaxer but it is a personal preference and only a preference not abuse or laziness.

 

[DaPPeR]

As I state all the time, I am very happy that I have found this site to give me enough knowledge about hair to pass on to my future daughters. I don't want her to go through the many hair issues I had to deal with while growing up because of lack of knowledge. With that said, I think I would keep her relaxer free for as long as I can stand it or old enough, whichever comes first.

 

[Rezgirl]

I relaxed my child's hair when she was eight. I have enough knowledge to care for it and we had a thorough discussion before hand. She knows that if she wants relaxed hair we have to keep it healthy so she goes through all the motions. Her hair isn't damaged, it's growing, we are retaining and it's more manageable. Everyone who wishes their mom didn't relax them probably wishes that because their head got tore up from a lack of knowledge or laziness in actually following up with steps they knew they should be doing IMHO. A relaxer isn't a fix-all. You don't get a relaxer and just have fly straight hair which I think we all know - there is a lot of work! I think if you know what to do and are actually willing to do the work you should do it. Having natural hair is no picnic either so whichever way you go its about caring for your hair - people with natural hair can have jacked up hair too.

 

[glamazon386]

I won't say never but I'll probably wait until she is a teenager. And then it will be her choice. My mother relaxed my hair as a child and it was healthy. I don't think it's an absolute evil.

 

[Southernbella.]

I try to never say never, but NEVER!

 

[drasgrl]

I didn't get my first relaxer until I was 16 and even then I didn't get another one until after college. My hair was pressed. If I had a daughter I would not let her get a relaxer until she was old enough to take care of it.

 

[Southernbella.]

I relaxed my child's hair when she was eight. I have enough knowledge to care for it and we had a thorough discussion before hand. She knows that if she wants relaxed hair we have to keep it healthy so she goes through all the motions. Her hair isn't damaged, it's growing, we are retaining and it's more manageable. Everyone who wishes their mom didn't relax them probably wishes that because their head got tore up from a lack of knowledge or laziness in actually following up with steps they knew they should be doing IMHO. A relaxer isn't a fix-all. You don't get a relaxer and just have fly straight hair which I think we all know - there is a lot of work! I think if you know what to do and are actually willing to do the work you should do it. Having natural hair is no picnic either so whichever way you go its about caring for your hair - people with natural hair can have jacked up hair too.

Wrong. I had thick MBL relaxed hair at 7 years old. I STILL wish my mama hadn't relaxed my hair. My 10 year old niece has relaxed hair just like mine was, and my sister is mad at herself for relaxing it instead of learning to take care of it in its natural state. She's trying to figure out a way to transition her.

 

[blue_flower]

When I have a daughter she won't get any chemicals in her hair until she's a teenager and I"ll be the one who'll be doing her hair. No hairdresser is going to traumatize my daughter's hair.

 

[Violets-are-blue]

I think I'll just do what my mom did and make her wait till 18 to make her own choice. I want her to know what her natural texture is and I want her to know how to love, appreciate, and care for it.
Then, if she finds at 18 she wishes to relax, I will arm her with the knowledge she needs to care for her relaxed tresses. (And encourage her not to go all straight.)

 

[sepiaamor]

I used to say... HECK YEAH!! But that was when I was less educated about my own naptural hair.
NOW, I think I'd invest the time to research on how to apply what I've learned about my own natural hair to hers.
And I'd avoid the perm issue as long as possible. B/c I really think when you are totally educated on how to care for your hair in its natural state then the CHOICE to go to the permie side is really a choice and not a necessity b/c you can't manage the napps. And if she wanted to have a straightening every once in a while as a treat then fine, that's what combs, flat irons and stretching is for.

 

[cupcakes]

Nope!!!!!!!!

 

[Tee]

To each her own. Whatever works, go for it.

 

[tiffupretty]

it wont be an option now when she gets 16...she can do what she want with it.

 

[HeChangedMyName]

I used to say... HECK YEAH!! But that was when I was less educated about my own naptural hair.
NOW, I think I'd invest the time to research on how to apply what I've learned about my own natural hair to hers.
And I'd avoid the perm issue as long as possible. B/c I really think when you are totally educated on how to care for your hair in its natural state then the CHOICE to go to the permie side is really a choice and not a necessity b/c you can't manage the napps. And if she wanted to have a straightening every once in a while as a treat then fine, that's what combs, flat irons and stretching is for.

I like that and it makes sense, many a relaxed heads are relaxed simply to make managebility easier, not so much that they want the straight look. That is the reason my hair was originally relaxed. Now, thank goodness, I choose it. It suites me and if I want a naptural afro puff, I can just go buy one.

 

[sareca]

My mother gave me free reign of my hair. From age 10-14 I had blonde, pink, and burgandy hair. I also taught myself how to french braid, roll, and press my hair. I didn't relax it until I was 17 but I could have. I love that she didn't try to control that. I think it allowed me to express myself without needing acting out like so many of my super controled friends were.