woman who stroked my hair

[silvergirl]

lol, too funny,she deserved 2 hear that.

 

[HairPhoenix]

I say flip on, my sista, flip on.

 

[sky_blu]

I LOVE IT!!! Nope, not rude at all... Nobody asked her. Hmpf.

Agrees! Thats sounds like something I wouldve said.

 

[Sassygoddess]

, I bet when you left the store she had a basket full of everything you had or will be returning to pick it up . [/quote]



This is so true. I don't think that was rude at all

 

[EbonyEyes]

Wow!! That woman was so wrong for stroking your hair! She was a complete stranger!

However.....

If I was in your shoes, what I would have *wanted* to do is say "Ma'am, like I said, this is working for me just fine as you can see. Also, it is impolite to touch someone's hair without asking. Especially someone you don't know. In the future, ask before you touch. You have a good day now." I would have said it with respect and there would have been no hair swinging.

The above response would have been what the nice, "WWJD?" Ebony would say. Unfortunately, I'm not like that all the time.

Assuming my other side, I can't say that I would have made comments similar to yours if I was in your situation. But my tone would have probably been not so nice.

Now my homegirl who is from Brooklyn would have called that woman out from the beginning: "Ummm...You have no right to touch my hair!! I don't know you and I don't know where your hands have been!" Then she would have swung her hair (she has long hair too) and walked away.

 

[henrilou]

Well she opened that up by stroking your hair. I would have been horrified if any woman had come and touched me and the conversation wouldn't have had a chance to go any further, because the touching thing would have been addressed.
Rude? Maybe, but she put herself there for that one.

 

[Tene]

Lol that wasn't rude at all

 

[mermaid]

@ Mermaid that's crazy! Slashing off 6 inches of hair like that !

Yep! She was as little teeny thing, about 5 ft 2 and her hair reached about bra strap, so she had to get her hair cut to below jaw length to even it out.
She said she didn't see the knife until he was pulling away and that's when she started sceaming, but he was already beatin' feet to the door.
You know, when her hair finally grew back to the original length, she dyed it from blonde to red. I think she was worried it was the high profile color or something that made the guy do it, but I'll bet he had a collection of several girls hair at home in his closet.
And really, like you, I don't see why sweetcashew was supposed to be polite to someone who was pawing on her- if a guy started rubbing her arm and she was uncomfortable with it, is she supposed to be polite?
Damn! Her personal space was invaded and her intelligence was basically insulted (telling her that what is CLEARLY working in her hair, does NOT work); what kind of person sits meekly while all that is going on towards them??

 

[NubianQueen]

I grew up in the 'nicest' state in America and I have lived in western states my entire life. We gave each other hugs all of the time,...... but let some heifer touch my hair! I think you were nice and let her know the truth. What is the point in pussyfooting around when that is just going to lead her to believe that her behavior was acceptable so she can do it to others that may not handle the invasion as well as you. Sometimes people just don't realize how ridiculous they are being until you hold a mirror up in their face. I tell people about themseves all day every day and MOST people get it and either apologize or straighten up real quick! I do make it funny with sarcasm and exagerration so no one's feelings get hurt, but please believe they get the point and stop aggravating me.

As you can see in this thread, there are people who completely see you were clearly not being rude. Others have a different view. Had your sister not made that comment, would you have thought you were being rude? Honestly, anytime I have said something that came out wrong or I just wasn't thinking, I feel it and just try to do better next time. You know this type of thing will continue to happen, do you think you will say anything different next time?

At any rate, I'm glad you posted this so now I can see the type of responses I may be in for later this year when I start wearing my hair down. I was so focused on the proper response to 'is that your hair' or 'nice weave' comments. Regardless, long hair will be worth the 'hassle!'

HHG

 

[MickMick]

I got into an arguement with a friend of mine over what she should do with her her....She tells me I don't know anything about 'her hair'. so ok then, stop complaining to me...
Then another friend was mad at me because I gave her a touch up and didn't relax from root to end. When I explained to her that that's the reason why her hair was damaged and short. she told me I don't know her hair and it's necessay to relax her hair from roots to ends. Then she went on the inform me that I have 'Good hair' and that my hair has always been long so I won't understand...So I said maybe it's the truth that I've always had long hair but if I was treating my hair the way she's treating hers, then mine would look just like hers too.

Anyway, I'm tired of talking about hair. And I'm tired of people always asking for advice then shooting it down.

I ain't gon' lie....I would have said/done the same thing to the chick in the beauty supply.

But your friends...There is a phrase out there..."Find them dumb...Leave them stupid." I wouldn't give any more advice on the hair thing AT ALL. I have found that some times people just want to talk about their issues, but they aren't ready to do anything about it. So, I stopped giving advice. When my friends ask me to go shopping for outfits for special events. I go, but I do my own thing. The magic answer is, "So, what do YOU think?"

As for homegirl and the relaxer. I would have just did it the way that she wanted and not thought anything else about it. She would have been REALLY bald when I was done with it.

It isn't worth it for you to get so involved in your friend's foolishness. Keep on doing you and flinging your hair.

 

[honey_jammz82]

sweetcashew, i know this may be slightly off topic; but your rollerset hair pics are fabulous!!!!!smile..

I know, I have never seen her album before, but I LOVE YOUR HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[frankie]

Sweetcashew

As far as the BSS incident...don't feel bad about it, you weren't rude...you were to the point.

As far as giving advice to those in need/denial about their own hair...you can only advise people, they can either take it or leave it. I give advice when asked...except when it comes to my little sister. Lil' sis is gonna be advised and has no choice but to take it because I'm the big sis boss...lol. I started telling my lil sis about the awesome things I've learned since being on LHCF and she now has thick bra strap length hair. I'm trying to catch up!

Keep helping those that want help...and let your hair speak for itself!!!

 

[Yellowflowers]

Yep! She was as little teeny thing, about 5 ft 2 and her hair reached about bra strap, so she had to get her hair cut to below jaw length to even it out.
She said she didn't see the knife until he was pulling away and that's when she started sceaming, but he was already beatin' feet to the door.
You know, when her hair finally grew back to the original length, she dyed it from blonde to red. I think she was worried it was the high profile color or something that made the guy do it, but I'll bet he had a collection of several girls hair at home in his closet.
And really, like you, I don't see why sweetcashew was supposed to be polite to someone who was pawing on her- if a guy started rubbing her arm and she was uncomfortable with it, is she supposed to be polite?
Damn! Her personal space was invaded and her intelligence was basically insulted (telling her that what is CLEARLY working in her hair, does NOT work); what kind of person sits meekly while all that is going on towards them??

I totally agree. I have another story. When I was in college there was a story about a girl who walked up to a sister who had beautiful hair and stroked it without the girls permission.

Sometime later the girl became misteriously ill. Well the girl who touched her had bragged to another girl that when she stroked her hair she was able to get a strand of it. The damned girl was into voodoo. She was jealous of the girl because the man she wanted did not wanted her but was into the the girl with the beautiful hair. She wanted to move the girl out of the way.

I never heard any more about what happened to that girl and I do not believe in voodoo but I do know for a fact that people are crazy.

Incidentally I am from the dirty South and people here do not violate another's personal space.

 

[HairPhoenix]

Yep! She was as little teeny thing, about 5 ft 2 and her hair reached about bra strap, so she had to get her hair cut to below jaw length to even it out.
She said she didn't see the knife until he was pulling away and that's when she started sceaming, but he was already beatin' feet to the door.
You know, when her hair finally grew back to the original length, she dyed it from blonde to red. I think she was worried it was the high profile color or something that made the guy do it, but I'll bet he had a collection of several girls hair at home in his closet.
And really, like you, I don't see why sweetcashew was supposed to be polite to someone who was pawing on her- if a guy started rubbing her arm and she was uncomfortable with it, is she supposed to be polite?
Damn! Her personal space was invaded and her intelligence was basically insulted (telling her that what is CLEARLY working in her hair, does NOT work); what kind of person sits meekly while all that is going on towards them??

Mermaid, I am so sorry that your friend felt that she had to change her hair color because of that monster. That says to me that your friend was put through some serious emotional trauma because of that incident and she is blaming herself. I hate it when a person gets violated and the violator walks around like they are in the right while the person who got violated has to feel like it was their fault or they did something wrong or they need to change. It's just not right! Well, I hope your friend knows that what happened was not her fault.

BTW, love your new "up against the wall" pic. Go 'head girl!!

 

[Eiano]

Yes. She was only trying to be helpful and didn't want your beautiful hair damaged. Maybe you should have asked her what she heard, then explain to her how it has helped your hair. And then recommend this board and possible products that could help her hair.

It's not like she was saying it out of malice. She really liked your hair. But at the same time she shouldn't have touched your hair. 2 wrongs, in my opinion.

Shoot cashew, with how beautiful your hair is.. I'd probably be mesmerized enough to touch it too.. But really, your hair is nice. I can understand why someone would just do that.

 

[jasmin]

I find it hilarious. She asked for it. Sure it was blunt but it's something I would have said and I know that I can be blunt.


I would have just stop giving advice and doing relaxers for people that want it a certain way.

 

[jasmin]

You weren't rude. She was rude and crossed the line putting her fingers in your hair; at that point you had every right to push her for touching you.
How is some stupid b***h gonna admire your hair and then tell you what is making your hair admirable is not working?
And, let me tell you about strangers putting their hands in your hair; I knew a girl who was sitting with a guy at a club and she had long silvery blonde hair. He touched her hair real soft and told her it was sooo pretty, she said thanks, and tucked it back behind her ears (passively saying, "don't touch my hair") and a little while latter, the hair slides free and she thinks he is reaching to "pet" her again and he had a knife and cut 6 inches off that section and ran out the door.
I know this is a lot different setting than a BSS, but you never know, ya know?
They never caught the guy, police came and filed a report (oh yay, now we feel safe), but this dude was walking around with a knife sharp enough to slice through a handful of hair in one quick swipe.

That is scary as h@#.

 

[Crysdon]

I remember one time some random dude licked my hair ...ewww gross,

OMG!!! Was this the same ig'nant fool that kissed my hair in the grocery store in front of my son????

There are truly some nuts out there.

 

[jasmin]

Crysdon,

I'm cracking up at your picture about Dakota Fanning.

 

[mermaid]

I totally agree. I have another story. When I was in college there was a story about a girl who walked up to a sister who had beautiful hair and stroked it without the girls permission.

Sometime later the girl became misteriously ill. Well the girl who touched her had bragged to another girl that when she stroked her hair she was able to get a strand of it. The damned girl was into voodoo. She was jealous of the girl because the man she wanted did not wanted her but was into the the girl with the beautiful hair. She wanted to move the girl out of the way.

I never heard any more about what happened to that girl and I do not believe in voodoo but I do know for a fact that people are crazy.

Incidentally I am from the dirty South and people here do not violate another's personal space.

Okayyy, see that was another thing that came to mind- strangers putting their hands in your hair, you know, could BE pulling a strand and doing something crazy with it.

 

[mermaid]

Mermaid, I am so sorry that your friend felt that she had to change her hair color because of that monster. That says to me that your friend was put through some serious emotional trauma because of that incident and she is blaming herself. I hate it when a person gets violated and the violator walks around like they are in the right while the person who got violated has to feel like it was their fault or they did something wrong or they need to change. It's just not right! Well, I hope your friend knows that what happened was not her fault.

BTW, love your new "up against the wall" pic. Go 'head girl!!

Yeah, she was traumatized but is the type who deosn't admit it. Her red hair did look good, but in all the years that I knew her, she was "Dienne, the little bit with the blonde hair".

There was more to that picture, but you know... I cropped it, heh heh..
The stupid tag was showing, but it will be edited out later...
Thanks for the thumbs up!!

 

[vikkisecret]

Some people have the nerve! She can obviously see that your hair is beautiful and tries to tell you what you need and not need to buy!.....She's trippin wit her nappy ends lol. Sorry had to say that...haha

 

[Healthb4Length]

Yeah, she was traumatized but is the type who deosn't admit it. Her red hair did look good, but in all the years that I knew her, she was "Dienne, the little bit with the blonde hair".

There was more to that picture, but you know... I cropped it, heh heh..
The stupid tag was showing, but it will be edited out later...
Thanks for the thumbs up!!

Yeah that's some traumatic mess! I mean really...to slash off someone's hair...I hope that they caught that freak.

 

[Healthb4Length]

Geez up ....hoes down!
It's a cold m%$^Fing world.,.....We gotta supply our own heat....
Girl GET YO PIMP HAND STRONG!!!!!

That's right they betta Recognize!

 

[angelbaby]

The woman could have just thought she was being helpful. I don't think she was being a hater at all. If you didn't want her hands on your head you could have just asked her not to do that and said something to the effect that different things work on different types of hair and that the product works well enough for you.

 

[czyfaith77]

No, not rude. What is rude is stroking someone's hair without permission. My thoughts are like "Who are you?" and "Where have your hands been?" (after eating, wiping your nose, restroom visits with no effective handwashing, and who knows where else) or have not been (like in soap and water). Just nasty.... My sentiments may been slightly different but, I am definitely with you on the hands off thing.

No, she was rude for stroking your hair without your permission and giving you unsolicited advice. What you said was doing her a favor and may open her eyes.