Wives, What Makes A Good Wife?

[*SkolarStar*]

This question has been boggling my mind for some time now because I know what makes me a good person and I know how I want to grow into a better woman.

I look at married women and their happy husbands in my family, I hear how my assistant principal adores his wife, and I think, "Wow, how does she do that? What makes her so awesome? I want some of this good wife elixir."

Disclaimer: I'm not married, but I want to be.

 

[beingofserenity]

Good question.

I'm guessing lots of sex, domestic goddess, affection and support?

 

[CaraWalker]

you should probably find some men to ask this question to tbh

 

[*SkolarStar*]

you should probably find some men to ask this question to tbh

@CaraWalker I could. However, I'm intently asking women already in the position because I feel it's important to learn from the reflections of a wife. They may do something that the husband may not see, but is still goes into the category of being a good wife.

 

[PJaye]

IMO, the best source of information would be the husbands who have indicated that they have good wives. Otherwise, all you're going to receive is haphazard input from every wife on the planet (because every wife believes herself to be a good wife).

 

[ladysaraii]

@hopeful had a really good response in an old thread that I recently read. Let me see if I can find it.

ETA: https://longhaircareforum.com/threads/wife-duties-girlfriend-duties-spinoff.521305/

It's about wife duties, but I really like what she said. I also like that it wasn't focused on cooking and cleaning which always seems to make its way into the center of the convo.

 

[sunnieb]

• Know when to shut up
• Know when to speak up
  
• Cook
• Care about your appearance (no, not be 'on' at all times, but care about looking good)
• Be friendly and nice
  
• Have your own life and interests that don't involve your husband - you have to have stuff to talk about other than bills, kids, and work
• Stroke his ego
• Accept all gifts from husband with a smile and a kiss
• Laugh and have fun with him
• Have lots of sex

 

[HappyAtLast]

• Know when to shut up
• Know when to speak up
  
• Cook
• Care about your appearance (no, not be 'on' at all times, but care about looking good)
• Be friendly and nice
  
• Have your own life and interests that don't involve your husband - you have to have stuff to talk about other than bills, kids, and work
• Stroke his ego
• Accept all gifts from husband with a smile and a kiss
• Laugh and have fun with him
• Have lots of sex

I agree with all of that. I'll add:

• Be a good hostess, even when it's unplanned
  
• Be a great improvisor (because the family flows with the path of the wife/mom)
• Learn to relax and not be uptight

 

[Mai Tai]

• Know when to shut up
• Know when to speak up
  
• Cook
• Care about your appearance (no, not be 'on' at all times, but care about looking good)
• Be friendly and nice
  
• Have your own life and interests that don't involve your husband - you have to have stuff to talk about other than bills, kids, and work
• Stroke his ego
• Accept all gifts from husband with a smile and a kiss
• Laugh and have fun with him
• Have lots of sex

I'm glad you brought up the bolded and I learned how important this was on my birthday. My dear loving husband bought me a perfume that I absolutely can't stand (Light Blue by Christian Dior). He thought I was saving for it because he found a picture of it ripped out of an Ulta pamphlet when in fact I'd ripped out the coupon that was on the other side.

He presented it to me so honored and proud that he's purchased a perfume that he thought I'd been dying to buy and you know what...I hugged him and kissed him like it was the best gift ever and even wear it sometimes because he loves how it smells on me. I had to take one for the team to keep from making him feel bad.

 

[Britt]

I'm glad you brought up the bolded and I learned how important this was on my birthday. My dear loving husband bought me a perfume that I absolutely can't stand (Light Blue by Christian Dior). He thought I was saving for it because he found a picture of it ripped out of an Ulta pamphlet when in fact I'd ripped out the coupon that was on the other side.

He presented it to me so honored and proud that he's purchased a perfume that he thought I'd been dying to buy and you know what...I hugged him and kissed him like it was the best gift ever and even wear it sometimes because he loves how it smells on me. I had to take one for the team to keep from making him feel bad.

Awwwww that's really sweet!

 

[GetHappy2014]

You know when I first read the responses, I thought to myself... Yeah, everything sounds about right.. But after I thought about it ... I am going to go out on a limb and say... It depends on the husband's desires. I think the best thing a wife can do is be in tune with their husband. Pay attention to his non- verbal communication. 'Cause what works for one may not work for the other. Just like raising children (not drawing a comparison.... Well actually ).. Every child is different.

 

[lux10023]

awwww so sweeettttt....good dh!!!

i ate the worst pancakes ever known to man on sunday as hubby happily made me breakfast..served me in bed and all grinning---surprised i am breathing and living at this point..lmaoooo #goodwife101

I'm glad you brought up the bolded and I learned how important this was on my birthday. My dear loving husband bought me a perfume that I absolutely can't stand (Light Blue by Christian Dior). He thought I was saving for it because he found a picture of it ripped out of an Ulta pamphlet when in fact I'd ripped out the coupon that was on the other side.

He presented it to me so honored and proud that he's purchased a perfume that he thought I'd been dying to buy and you know what...I hugged him and kissed him like it was the best gift ever and even wear it sometimes because he loves how it smells on me. I had to take one for the team to keep from making him feel bad.

 

[Mai Tai]

awwww so sweeettttt....good dh!!!

i ate the worst pancakes ever known to man on sunday as hubby happily made me breakfast..served me in bed and all grinning---surprised i am breathing and living at this point..lmaoooo #goodwife101

Good wife indeed!

 

[lux10023]

the pancakes resembled..crepes....bless dh heart....

Good wife indeed!

 

[Evolving78]

Good question.

I'm guessing lots of sex, domestic goddess, affection and support?

And learning when to shut up! I still haven't gotten that right yet! Lol just making him feel loved and validated. Some women don't cook and keep house, but they know how to make a man feel like a man.

 

[kandake]

awwww so sweeettttt....good dh!!!

i ate the worst pancakes ever known to man on sunday as hubby happily made me breakfast..served me in bed and all grinning---surprised i am breathing and living at this point..lmaoooo #goodwife101

Maybe that's why I'm divorced. I remember one Sunday within the first few weeks of marriage, my ex made breakfast sandwiches. It was thee driest ish I ever had. Turkey bacon, toast and eggs. We didn't have any jelly. I choked down the first bite, apologized and threw it in the garbage. He was so hurt

 

[sunnieb]

And learning when to shut up! I still haven't gotten that right yet! Lol just making him feel loved and validated. Some women don't cook and keep house, but they know how to make a man feel like a man.

Why you think that was number 1 on my list? I know I got a mouth on me, but here I am 20 some odd years into marriage and still struggling!

 

[sunnieb]

Maybe that's why I'm divorced. I remember one Sunday within the first few weeks of marriage, my ex made breakfast sandwiches. It was thee driest ish I ever had. Turkey bacon, toast and eggs. We didn't have any jelly. I choked down the first bite, apologized and threw it in the garbage. He was so hurt

Oh no! You have to master the art of eating but not really eating.

And when you throw it out, discreetly wrap it in something and put in bottom of the trash. My dh can cook delicious food most times, but he'll serve up some questionable entrees here and there.

 

[kandake]

• Know when to shut up
• Know when to speak up
  
• Cook
• Care about your appearance (no, not be 'on' at all times, but care about looking good)
• Be friendly and nice
  
• Have your own life and interests that don't involve your husband - you have to have stuff to talk about other than bills, kids, and work
• Stroke his ego
• Accept all gifts from husband with a smile and a kiss
• Laugh and have fun with him
• Have lots of sex

My guy friend said all this in his own words.

 

[Evolving78]

Why you think that was number 1 on my list? I know I got a mouth on me, but here I am 20 some odd years into marriage and still struggling!

I'm divorced, so your mouth might not be as bad as mine! Lol now if I could just get it together this time around! Lol I'm learning that men can dish it, but they can't take it! And when I give it, I will drag a man down to his very core. I mean what I say though, but sometimes it's not meant to be said. So I need to learn to walk away. Gotta get control of that.

 

[Evolving78]

Lm

Maybe that's why I'm divorced. I remember one Sunday within the first few weeks of marriage, my ex made breakfast sandwiches. It was thee driest ish I ever had. Turkey bacon, toast and eggs. We didn't have any jelly. I choked down the first bite, apologized and threw it in the garbage. He was so hurt

LMBO girl no! See we are here!

 

[Evolving78]

the pancakes resembled..crepes....bless dh heart....

They kill me when they give you something with a big smile on their faces! Lol

 

[LivingInPeace]

I'm glad you brought up the bolded and I learned how important this was on my birthday. My dear loving husband bought me a perfume that I absolutely can't stand (Light Blue by Christian Dior). He thought I was saving for it because he found a picture of it ripped out of an Ulta pamphlet when in fact I'd ripped out the coupon that was on the other side.

He presented it to me so honored and proud that he's purchased a perfume that he thought I'd been dying to buy and you know what...I hugged him and kissed him like it was the best gift ever and even wear it sometimes because he loves how it smells on me. I had to take one for the team to keep from making him feel bad.

Girl, you know he was like, "Ima get my baby that perfume she like! She talmbout I don't pay attention. Ya man saw the picture of the perfume and ya man provided you the perfume."