Why is online dating so fustrating!!!!!

[brsugarbabe]

Hey ladies,

I have only being doing this for one week and Im about ready to give up. I clearly have a lot of information stated in my profile. And I still get people responding to me that are not on the same page, send endless emails with no phone number, they are bored and just wanted to send you a message and have not a darn thing to say, writes like this: was goo ma? i wanna no bout u? i wan a gurl that has golds. Just rediculous!

Seems like a waste of my time and energy. Sometimes I feel like I am from planet X.

 

[Jazala]

I was thinking about giving online dating a try but the type of stuff you described is definitely a turn-off.

 

[ThickHair]

1 week is not long enough. As IRL you are going to meet a lot of frogs before you meet a prince.

I am back and forth with online dating. I will do it for about 2 months and go out with 1-3 guys then I will socialize IRL.

I have met a couple of nice dudes but nothing popped off, but for every ok guy that I get in contact with there will be 35-50 who are straight buttjuice. Some never get the phone number.

I went back and forth with a guy for about a week via email then I gave him my number. Our first conversation was nice early in the day. The 2nd conversation of the day went down hill really fast. He went from telling me he wants to take me to the park for our first date, til asking what was I going to cook him for breakfast. I yawned after that and said I would give him a call tomorrow. I blocked him online and blocked him on my phone.

Hey, it happens. I am not going to get down, there are more fish in the sea.

ETA: This man\child was 45 btw. Oh and he told me he wanted a suga momma after he found out I had a master's degree. He started bad mouthing the government and such. Although I never told him that I worked for the government, I knew it would be a no go. He turned into a werewolf after our first conversation.

 

[brsugarbabe]

1 week is not long enough. As IRL you are going to meet a lot of frogs before you meet a prince.

I am back and forth with online dating. I will do it for about 2 months and go out with 1-3 guys then I will socialize IRL.

I have met a couple of nice dudes but nothing popped off, but for every ok guy that I get in contact with there will be 35-50 who are straight buttjuice. Some never get the phone number.

I went back and forth with a guy for about a week via email then I gave him my number. Our first conversation was nice early in the day. The 2nd conversation of the day went down hill really fast. He went from telling me he wants to take me to the park for our first date, til asking what was I going to cook him for breakfast. I yawned after that and said I would give him a call tomorrow. I blocked him online and blocked him on my phone.

Hey, it happens. I am not going to get down, there are more fish in the se

ETA: This man\child was 45 btw. Oh and he told me he wanted a suga momma after he found out I had a master's degree. He started bad mouthing the government and such. Although I never told him that I worked for the government, I knew it would be a no go. He turned into a werewolf after our first conversation.

Lmao. Girl some guy send me a message yesterday stating: "I have to tell you something", So i state: What do you have to tell me that is so important(i responded because Im think maybe he knows me or something, because he sound serious lol), He responded back : "call u". What the hell is wrong with this chicken butt!

I have signed up for three websites and yes I do get great responses with great profiles. But thats all that it is.

 

[ThickHair]

Lmao. Girl some guy send me a message yesterday stating: "I have to tell you something", So i state: What do you have to tell me that is so important(i responded because Im think maybe he knows me or something, because he sound serious lol), He responded back : "call u". What the hell is wrong with this chicken butt!

I have signed up for three websites and yes I do get great responses with great profiles. But thats all that it is.

That is funny. I am 38 and I have a few young woman who I guess look up to me who are in their early 20's. They get such a kick out of the stories that I tell them about my dating life. They want to hook me up with there brother's and uncles but I decline because I really care for these young ladies and I don't want it to be awkward if things don't work out between me and their family members. I show them pictures and such and we howl for days about this simple stuff, but I use it as a learning experience for them.

 

[Mizani_Mrs]

thr problem is you are too nice. on the internet it's a different set of etiquitte rules than what applies to real life. You are still trying to respond and politely decline the trolls. girl it's the internet!!! You know dang-on well those trolls are bored and just pinging 1million women hoping to get lucky. So don't waste your energy to respond. the delete button is your friend!!!!!! this mentality will save you alot of anguish and will help you to quickly dispose of the 100 trolls and quickly find the 5 princes to occupy your time. good luck! I met my hubby online and I am a bridesmaid at my girlfriends April wedding and she met her man online as well!!!

 

[Jazala]

Wow that's awesome Mizani Mrs. What site did you use?

 

[LivingDol1]

i've been doing the online dating thing off and on for 10 years. it hasn't worked, clearly.

i've used match, yahoo, lavalife, plenty of fish, ok cupid, nerve, eharmony and chemistry.com.

the only one i'm still on is okcupid.com because it's free and it has a better looking website than plentyoffish.com. i only check it when i get email, which is rare.

there are a ton of frogs out there... they seem like the type who can't get a girl in real life. i get emails from the loser types all the time.

i would reach out and email a guy i found attractive but in the past, they never respond. so now, i refuse to email guys first. it's a useless effort.

dating IRL is tough too but i think i have better chances IRL than with online dating.

of course, i remain hopeful that either one will work out, hence why i keep my profile up. i just don't do anything with it.

 

[mswoman]

What in the world are you putting on your profile??? You may need to re-evaulate what you are listing. Not enough saying or not puting on there. Maybe having someone else look at it would be beneficial.

 

[Bunny77]

What in the world are you putting on your profile??? You may need to re-evaulate what you are listing. Not enough saying or not puting on there. Maybe having someone else look at it would be beneficial.

I'm sure her profile has nothing to do with the responses that she's getting.

I've had the best, most respectfully written profile and would STILL get idiot responses.

A lot of men simply don't read the profiles at ALL and write whatever the heck they want. It's absolutely no reflection 99% of the time of what the woman has written.

I approach online dating in general like going to the club. MOST of the men won't be about anything, but there's always the one or two normal guys in the club who could have potential. OP, just recognize that most of the men who will contact you will be trash, but just keep your eyes open for the few treasures that you will find.

 

[yokoyokogirl]

Although I'm doing online dating in Japan, there are still quite a lot of non-Japanese men on my site. I have seriously had some old men from China, like 60 years or older hit me up to say "Let's have a drink"---WTF? And then ppl who just want sex or are looking for a green card. So I have no idea what I'm doing wrong. I'm about to give it all up. Please no more old men, married men, sex perverts, or gays hit me up--a sista is tired.

 

[LivingDol1]

What in the world are you putting on your profile??? You may need to re-evaulate what you are listing. Not enough saying or not puting on there. Maybe having someone else look at it would be beneficial.

i'm not sure if you are directing your post at me or the OP but i've changed my profile over the years. making it more concise, adding more info, trying not to sound so picky about my match, trying to sound more positive than negative. i've had ppl look at my profile. it doesn't matter.

most men don't read your profile anyway. they go for your pictures first. the only guys that write me are the ones who look at photos first and nothing else b/c not only do their emails sound lame, or are one liners, but there is nothing in their profile that indicates that we have anything remotely in common.

try speed dating... thats the next thing i am willing to try once.

 

[dreysonsmommy2011]

Although I'm doing online dating in Japan, there are still quite a lot of non-Japanese men on my site. I have seriously had some old men from China, like 60 years or older hit me up to say "Let's have a drink"---WTF? And then ppl who just want sex or are looking for a green card. So I have no idea what I'm doing wrong. I'm about to give it all up. Please no more old men, married men, sex perverts, or gays hit me up--a sista is tired.

Hey Yoko, I'm just wondering...does the site that you're on have filters? Most of the dating sites that I've been on lets you filter what age a person has to be to send u a message. You can also filter by relationship status to block the married men too.

 

[dreysonsmommy2011]

Wow that's awesome Mizani Mrs. What site did you use?

If I'm not mistaken I believe she met her hubby on BlackPlanet. Hopefully, she'll chime back in this thread.

 

[yokoyokogirl]

I need to check into that. I'm so tired of old dudes in China and gay Jguys hitting on me! I think I'm gonna change my introduction to: If you're old or gay, please don't look this way..."

 

[CaramelPrincezz]

I met my last couple boyfriends online. I just ignore the jerks and stupid guys who obviously haven't read my profile. Don't even entertain them.
I also met my current s/o online. There's great guys out there. Just gotta learn how to sift through the losers to get to them.

 

[SunySydeofLyfe]

I think that alot of the men online and off are looking for some quick split....In my experience, I wasnt sure about what I wanted....meaning I didnt fully evaluate what I wanted to accomplish (not only online, in life generally as relationships go) and because of that I met some nice people that shared like interest but where certain that they wanted to get married and only wanted to date like minded people....initially I wasnt sure of where I was until I let someone that could have lead to a possible wonderful relationship get away. I say be certain of what you want, delete, block the undesirables and take it light...finding a good thing takes time....

 

[SunySydeofLyfe]

Better...a good thing finding you takes time.....

 

[honeybuni84]

I am offically through with paid online dating. I have been doing it on and off for about a year. It seems I am meeting even worse fools online than IRL. I have tried eharmony, match, plentyoffish, blackpeoplemeet, okcupid, yahoo... it is all a mess to me. I have a very well written profile and i get guys who paid for eharmony looking for FWBs.
I could be saving this money and meeting them IRL ....

 

[BrooklynSouth]

I am offically through with paid online dating. I have been doing it on and off for about a year. It seems I am meeting even worse fools online than IRL. I have tried eharmony, match, plentyoffish, blackpeoplemeet, okcupid, yahoo... it is all a mess to me. I have a very well written profile and i get guys who paid for eharmony looking for FWBs.
I could be saving this money and meeting them IRL ....

Took me a little while to get it..F W B...FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS!!

 

[yokoyokogirl]

What is IRL? International Relationship?

 

[twinkletoes17]

Lol. I think it's "in real life".

 

[DayStar]

BWHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

Hey ladies,

I have only being doing this for one week and Im about ready to give up. I clearly have a lot of information stated in my profile. And I still get people responding to me that are not on the same page, send endless emails with no phone number, they are bored and just wanted to send you a message and have not a darn thing to say, writes like this: was goo ma? i wanna no bout u? i wan a gurl that has golds. Just rediculous!

Seems like a waste of my time and energy. Sometimes I feel like I am from planet X.

 

[CurliDiva]

I'm just don't want to try online dating again! I don't have to patience to sit at my computer sorting thru emails from jerks that probably sent the same message to 30 girls. I found that a person online persona is completely different than real life.

Most (well the smarter ones) guys know what to write – few are going to say that they are underemployed, bad credit, porn addicted, co-dependent momma boys.

I'm active on MeetUp.com which is social network of all types of clubs (book clubs, jogging clubs, movie clubs, etc.) I just joined the groups that had activities that I interested in (Art, Movies, Sushi, etc.) in hope of having fun "and" meeting men with similar interests.

 

[lexi08]

I'm just not want to try online dating site again! I don't have to patience to sit at my computer sorting thru emails from jerks that probably sent the same message to 30 girls. I found that a person online persona is completely different than real life.

Most (well the smarter ones) guys know what to write – few are going to say that they are underemployed, bad credit, porn addicted, co-dependent momma boys.

I'm active on MeetUp.com which is social network of all types of clubs (book clubs, jogging clubs, movie clubs, etc.) I just joined the groups that had activities that I interested in (Art, Movies, Sushi, etc.) in hope of having fun "and" meeting men with similar interests.

I stopped using online dating sites. It was just the same dudes over and over. You are right these men know what the right things are to say. I busted a few in some lies and I don't have the patience for that mess. I mean lying about their age, marital status/relationship/living situation, income, education, job. I did meet a few decent men that I was just not compatible with.

Meetup.com is a good idea.

 

[brsugarbabe]

What in the world are you putting on your profile??? You may need to re-evaulate what you are listing. Not enough saying or not puting on there. Maybe having someone else look at it would be beneficial.

It has nothing to do with what I put in my profile. I am a very decent young woman and I have a very well written profile. I don't need to re-evaluate anything. As stated before, I did get good responses with good profiles attached. However, nothing more than that.

 

[brsugarbabe]

I'm sure her profile has nothing to do with the responses that she's getting.

I've had the best, most respectfully written profile and would STILL get idiot responses.

A lot of men simply don't read the profiles at ALL and write whatever the heck they want. It's absolutely no reflection 99% of the time of what the woman has written.

I approach online dating in general like going to the club. MOST of the men won't be about anything, but there's always the one or two normal guys in the club who could have potential. OP, just recognize that most of the men who will contact you will be trash, but just keep your eyes open for the few treasures that you will find.

Hun, thank you so much! This is exactly what it is.

 

[VelvetRain]

I swore off online dating quite some time ago. I can go on match.com now and see much of the same guys that were on there back in 2005 when I initially signed up there. It makes me wonder why some of them are still single after 4 years? Something must really be wrong with them. Meetup.com is great for meeting people in general but be wary of signing up for all female geared groups because you will end up hanging with a bunch of women all the time which will get you nowhere fast if you are looking to meet a guy.

 

[butterfly_wings]

Its not all bad, I met my fiance online, I posted and advert and he responded

 

[Tybi]

I swore off online dating quite some time ago. I can go on match.com now and see much of the same guys that were on there back in 2005 when I initially signed up there. It makes me wonder why some of them are still single after 4 years? Something must really be wrong with them. Meetup.com is great for meeting people in general but be wary of signing up for all female geared groups because you will end up hanging with a bunch of women all the time which will get you nowhere fast if you are looking to meet a guy.

This is true but it can also work to your benefit as well. I joined an all girls site and met some other single girls who were looking to just make some friends. I cant tell you how many of them had a friend or brother they wanted me to meet. Its all about networking.

Also, through meetup.com I was able to meet these people that I would probably not have met IRL. Now I have someone to go out and do things with when I would have otherwise stayed in. This has also helped me to get out and about which has put me in some good situations to meet men.

I am too scared to online date! I have enough trouble sorting through the riff raff I meet IRL!