Why is it....

I

inthepink

New Member
that when I get matches (eHarmony) from guys that are totally not what I'm looking for - they contact me right away but when I get matched with halfway decent guys, I never hear a word. I never even see that they've viewed my profile.

I feel so lost at this whole dating thing. I mean, NOTHING, is happening. I know I'm not being too picky - if you saw what I was being matched with. First, not many matches at all...

What else is there? Nothing at church. Nothing in common places. Just nothing.

Where else can you meet quality men?

I'm so frustrated with this.:wallbash: :wallbash: :wallbash: :wallbash: :wallbash: :wallbash: :wallbash:
 
hairlove said:
that when I get matches (eHarmony) from guys that are totally not what I'm looking for - they contact me right away but when I get matched with halfway decent guys, I never hear a word. I never even see that they've viewed my profile.

I feel so lost at this whole dating thing. I mean, NOTHING, is happening. I know I'm not being too picky - if you saw what I was being matched with. First, not many matches at all...

What else is there? Nothing at church. Nothing in common places. Just nothing.

Where else can you meet quality men?

I'm so frustrated with this.:wallbash: :wallbash: :wallbash: :wallbash: :wallbash: :wallbash: :wallbash:
Click to expand...

What is it about them that would make them unsuitable? Is it just the looks? They could have just taken a bad photo?

Also, stop getting frustrated! It does not help the situation.
 
You know what I think you should do? Try Speed Dating.

NOT because you will actually end up with a good man from there... seriously, most folks are just foolin' around there. BUT, it's good practice.

I find that if dating is difficult for someone, it gets easier the more they can "practice" in real life, and a good way to do it is by dealing with dudes you aren't necessarily sweating.

You can see how you interact with men through speed dating and it's something that will get you out and about. Don't have any expectations and don't go in thinking that this will net you Mr. Right (although hey, anything is possible), but see it as a way to practice talking/flirting/chatting with men. :)
 
Ohhhh my friend!!!!! Don't worry!! When you stop thinking about it....it will happen...

Fill your life up with every thing you LOVE.......Everything.......fill up your home with the Flowers you want! Play the Music you want to hear when you meet that special person

Dress up ....go out and ENJOY your life!

ETA....... join groups.....take a class.....learn a new hobby



I don't believe in the internet thing because its so easy to embellish on the internet......

Hold on to Your happiness and someone special will come around!
 
N.P.R. Addict said:
What is it about them that would make them unsuitable? Is it just the looks? They could have just taken a bad photo?

Also, stop getting frustrated! It does not help the situation.
Click to expand...


Easier said than done...but no, I don't really bang my hang...I really just shake it. :)

Hmm, random things. Things they say in their profile that will just turn me off. Sometimes it is looks - guys who look like they just rolled out of bed and that's their best foot forward. Or overweight men - I just do not like overweight men. But like I said, I rarely get any matches at all.
 
Bunny77 said:
You know what I think you should do? Try Speed Dating.

NOT because you will actually end up with a good man from there... seriously, most folks are just foolin' around there. BUT, it's good practice.

I find that if dating is difficult for someone, it gets easier the more they can "practice" in real life, and a good way to do it is by dealing with dudes you aren't necessarily sweating.

You can see how you interact with men through speed dating and it's something that will get you out and about. Don't have any expectations and don't go in thinking that this will net you Mr. Right (although hey, anything is possible), but see it as a way to practice talking/flirting/chatting with men. :)
Click to expand...

I actually have been out on a LOT of dates with men from the internet. I just haven't had one in 5.5 years! Usually the men would request a second date so I guess I was doing something right...
 
ccd said:
Ohhhh my friend!!!!! Don't worry!! When you stop thinking about it....it will happen...

Fill your life up with every thing you LOVE.......Everything.......fill up your home with the Flowers you want! Play the Music you want to hear when you meet that special person

Dress up ....go out and ENJOY your life!

ETA....... join groups.....take a class.....learn a new hobby



I don't believe in the internet thing because its so easy to embellish on the internet......

Hold on to Your happiness and someone special will come around!
Click to expand...

You are SO right...

Only problem...

I did that already. :)

ETA: Hope that wasn't sarcastic - just mean, I have spent a lot of time not thinking about it...really. And taking classes, focusing on myself, etc. etc.

I know there's no solution, guys. Just wanted to vent. Thank you for your suggestions. :)
 
hairlove said:
I actually have been out on a LOT of dates with men from the internet. I just haven't had one in 5.5 years! Usually the men would request a second date so I guess I was doing something right...
Click to expand...

Well... go back out there and get more practice! :D

I'm sure you've got it going on... you just gotta shake the rust off. Once a few guys become attracted to you (whether you like them back or not), it's like other dudes can sense it and you become more attractive to all of them!
 
Bunny77 said:
Well... go back out there and get more practice! :D

I'm sure you've got it going on... you just gotta shake the rust off. Once a few guys become attracted to you (whether you like them back or not), it's like other dudes can sense it and you become more attractive to all of them!
Click to expand...

I would love to go on a date - just meeting someone to have one with - that's the whole problem!! :)
 
try meetup.com. i know, i'm always mentioning them. but they have lots of social groups. they probably have a singles one in your area. i went to a singles event through them once. i got hit on and flirted with. and it was fun, we baked pizza and sang karaoke. go out and have fun in mixed company! find interests where there are guys present. do you like sports?

if none of these sound good, can you afford a professional matchmaker?
 
In my opinion Eharmony was a joke and a scam. I wonder if there are even black guys on that site.

Back in the day I slugged through that War and Peace of a questionnaire only to be matched with guys that I specifically did not want to date.

About a year later I tried it again and got the same folks. I left with the opinion that they just wanted me to think there were people on their site who matched me when in reality there were not.

Try BMP or Blacksingles. People I know have a good results with both. I met my BF on BPM and we both agreed we had to weed through a lot of chafe to get to the wheat. Granted he was on the site for only a couple of months before we met, I would have been embarassed to say how long I had been on.:rolleyes:
 
ElizaBlue said:
In my opinion Eharmony was a joke and a scam. I wonder if there are even black guys on that site.
Click to expand...

There are black men on eHarmony. I think since the site has become more popular, you find all kinds of men on there. The sad thing is that the quality of the men has gone down sharply and it wasn't all that great to begin with. Just seems easier to find Christians there but what difference does it make if none of them are even decent either.
 
mwedzi said:
try meetup.com. i know, i'm always mentioning them. but they have lots of social groups. they probably have a singles one in your area. i went to a singles event through them once. i got hit on and flirted with. and it was fun, we baked pizza and sang karaoke. go out and have fun in mixed company! find interests where there are guys present. do you like sports?
Click to expand...

That's a good idea. I'm going to have to look into it along with those "Dinner for 8" types of places. The cost is something to consider though. I guess after all I've paid for dating services...lol :nono:
 
hairlove said:
There are black men on eHarmony. I think since the site has become more popular, you find all kinds of men on there. The sad thing is that the quality of the men has gone down sharply and it wasn't all that great to begin with. Just seems easier to find Christians there but what difference does it make if none of them are even decent either.
Click to expand...


I said that becaue I specifically stated I only black men, then I didn't get but a few matches. When I asked for a refund, I started getting all these matches but none were black.

I am sure there are black men on there it just seemed that way to me at the time. Like they were definitely the minority.
 
ElizaBlue said:
I said that becaue I specifically stated I only black men, then I didn't get but a few matches. When I asked for a refund, I started getting all these matches but none were black.

I am sure there are black men on there it just seemed that way to me at the time. Like they were definitely the minority.
Click to expand...

I definitely agree with you. I am not sure when you were a member but it seems to change quite often over there.

I once told them about their quality of matches or lack thereof. I don't know why I continue to use it (seems like there is nothing else sometimes!)

I honestly don't think they truly "match" you base on all of these preferences. I think they just give you a match to keep you.

When my subscription runs out this time, I won't be renewing.

I've actually gotten to open communication today with someone halfway decent.
 
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