"Why Educated Black Men Won't Settle Down" (blog post)

[MsSanz92]

this was a nice conversation, i guess, but i see yall were still deep in denial about the eligibility issue a few years ago.

there are black people that come from and live in upwardly mobile circles. true.

there are people that would invalidate a person's "black experience" if it wasnt a hard luck from the hood story. true.

the majority of black people (men and women) come from "the hood" and do not have a college education - ALSO TRUE.

you hear that black people? things that seem seemingly different can ALL be EQUALLY TRUE, ALL AT THE SAME TIME.

yall were looking on the bright side to the point of delusion in this conversation. it really bordered on gaslighting, tbh.

So true. I hate these convos about dating between BM and BW, because people continue to ignore the reality that dating in general is harder for both BW AND BM. I see and live this everyday; my non-Black counterparts seem to always be able to find a mate with much less effort, compared to the Black people I know. I also think that it's important to remember that the successful BM who marry BW marry a very specific kind of BW, and it does skew towards lighter skinned, thinner, more conventionally attractive. Therefore if you're a BW who isn't that, it's even more of a challenge to date and find a BM to marry. Most men in general take the looks of their spouse seriously, especially BM, and see their women as bringing them status. This explains why also many BM date non-BW the more successful they become, because they feel that in order to prove themselves, they cannot or shouldn't date a BW, and if they do, she has to be not too Black.

 

[Miss_C]

Eh, in my experience this just seems like something that affects the athlete /entertainer crowd. I just don't see this in my day to day life. I guess because I went to an HBCU I know tons and tons of black married couples and educated black men who seek out black couples. The women are any color and size of black in our rainbow. According to this thread that means I come from a place of privilege I know there are imbalances in education levels in the general population but the black men I know are married to or actively l looking for black women. If that makes me overly optimistic I will accept it since I don't think I've ever been accused of that lol.