Why are men so annoying????

[latebloomer]

Hi Girls,

I'm here to vent, me and my bf have had problems in the past, and i have been finding it hard to move on from. but asides from that he just frustrated me so much today...

I texted him to ask him his views on marriage as in how he sees it, his fears etc... he gave me some wacky answer about when you with someone you know if they're the one that you will want to marry but sometimes you may have doubts. I then went on to ask him so how would you deal with it if you have doubts and you have certain people around you (fast, dodgy girls) he siad something about everyones entitled decisions and the person would have to make the right decision for themselves... so im like huh, texted him back said that dont answer my question and i dont understand what he just said.

Then he went on to ask me about my past when we broke up which had nothing to do with what i was talking about, i answered his question and he went on and on and on. each time i texted him i kept on asking but what has that got to do with what i asked you and how does it even apply if i wasnt with you.

This carried on for about 20 texts or so, by this time im practically boiling, cuz when i go on about the past he's the 1st to tell me about stop living in the past.

Up till now he still hasnt been able to tell me what his point was in the conversation. but when i called him, obviously by this time so frustrated he gave me his answer about marriage on the phone, with me coaching it out of him but still cant explain the point of going throough all of that.

He's now texted me and said, "sorry babe, i cant talk now, but i hear you. I should of gone about things in a different manner. I hope you understood my views on marriage. x"

By this time i dont care about your stupid views cuz i dont get your point in all that other crap and i had to call you and drag it out of you cuz u were rambling about something you still have been unable to let me know the relevance on. i know i may sound like a drama queen, but this man really ticks me the hell off!!!!!!

am i overeacting or can someone relate to when another person does irrelavent things to push your buttons, then acts like they didnt do nothing wrong!!!!!

there are most prob a lot of spelling mistakes i type crap when im angry... sorry..lol

 

[tenjoy]

I dont see where he did anything wrong.....besides tell you what you obiously dont want to hear........That he is not ready or even thinking about marriage.

Its sounds like he answered your question, yet your were being annoying, so he decided to flip the script and ask you questions to annoy you back......till you were exhausted.

IMO dont have those type of conversations via text messages....your reading his words the way you want to. And you will accomplish nothing but upset yourself even more.

Men are simple and your trying to get him to be deep. Ask him all the questions you want on his views, but im sure you see how he lives. you can answer those questions yourself, all you need to ask is if he will marry you.

 

[WomanlyCharm]

Conversations done by text are not the way to discuss something as important as marriage.

He didn't do anything wrong. It just sounds like his views on marriage and what he wants may be different from yours.

Next time, instead of launching 20 questions at him through texts, have an actual talk face to face.

 

[tenjoy]

Conversations done by text are not the way to discuss something as important as marriage.

He didn't do anything wrong. It just sounds like his views on marriage and what he wants may be different from yours.

Next time, instead of launching 20 questions at him through texts, have an actual talk face to face.

Exactly.........and Latebloomer I hope you didnt save those messages and reading them over and over again every day trying to read between the lines and decode his message..........

 

[latebloomer]

I dont see where he did anything wrong.....besides tell you what you obiously dont want to hear........That he is not ready or even thinking about marriage.

Its sounds like he answered your question, yet your were being annoying, so he decided to flip the script and ask you questions to annoy you back......till you were exhausted.

IMO dont have those type of conversations via text messages....your reading his words the way you want to. And you will accomplish nothing but upset yourself even more.

Men are simple and your trying to get him to be deep. Ask him all the questions you want on his views, but im sure you see how he lives. you can answer those questions yourself, all you need to ask is if he will marry you.

He wants to get married in 2010 but i'm not sure if he understands all that a marriage involves or i wanted to find out his feelings on it, i know he loves me just wanted to find out his reservations or not etc...

The main things that was annoying me was not his answer cuz i didnt understand it and asked him to elaborate so it wasn't an agree or disagree thing it was mainly that he went off topic even when i explained that i dint understand. Only for when i finally call he's able to tell me exactly how he feels about marriage but cant tell me what point he was trying to get across.

Your right i do know him, he was basically got captured into something from the pass, but my point was that it was just irrelevant especially when he was talking about things when we wasnt together which is what my problem was. He

 

[Vanity1]

To save you time, frustration, anger, etc....
Men are going to do what they want, when they please. If they are honest about it then listen, and you may be disappointed, but that does not stop them from being who they are. Take it for what it is. And I agree with the other posters, talk about this in person.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

Hmmm.... he says he wants to get married in 2010? Yet he seems a little shaky on the committment part... has he cheated on you in the past?

Sometimes guys do this "extended engagement" stuff when they want to keep with you for a while but have ZERO plans to marry. I'd say keep your knickers on for a while and see what he's really about.

 

[blkbeauty]

I dont see where he did anything wrong.....besides tell you what you obiously dont want to hear........That he is not ready or even thinking about marriage.

Its sounds like he answered your question, yet your were being annoying, so he decided to flip the script and ask you questions to annoy you back......till you were exhausted.

IMO dont have those type of conversations via text messages....your reading his words the way you want to. And you will accomplish nothing but upset yourself even more.

Men are simple and your trying to get him to be deep. Ask him all the questions you want on his views, but im sure you see how he lives. you can answer those questions yourself, all you need to ask is if he will marry you.

You said everything that I was going to say!

 

[The Girl]

I do agree with tenjoy on the men are simple thing. I think he was attempting to draw a comparison of sorts between your past and why he may know he wants to marry someone but still as doubts. Like he was saying, 'I love you and want to marry you but I can't stomach your past so I have doubts'....stupid I know but men are ego driven and the slightest thing can bruise that fragile part of them

 

[blkbeauty]

He wants to get married in 2010 but i'm not sure if he understands all that a marriage involves or i wanted to find out his feelings on it, i know he loves me just wanted to find out his reservations or not etc...

The main things that was annoying me was not his answer cuz i didnt understand it and asked him to elaborate so it wasn't an agree or disagree thing it was mainly that he went off topic even when i explained that i dint understand. Only for when i finally call he's able to tell me exactly how he feels about marriage but cant tell me what point he was trying to get across.

Your right i do know him, he was basically got captured into something from the pass, but my point was that it was just irrelevant especially when he was talking about things when we wasnt together which is what my problem was. He

Do not rush him into marriage though. This will only make him break and marry you in fear of losing you only for you two to be in a divorce attorney chair 2 years after the marriage.

You know I am like you when it comes to relationships. I like to know where I stand, but I've learn to just keep my cool and have fun with the person I am with. If marriage happens then I will feel bless. But from my experience, if he really wants to marry you. He will. For the most part it doesn't take a man until the year 2010 to marry you.

 

[lexi08]

Why would you even have a conversation about something as important as marriage by text

 

[Kamilah]

Even if he said "hey I love you let's get married" you still wouldn't be in a good place with him because clearly he's conflicted and it would have just reared its head some other way. I don't know what to tell you. I'm dealing with a donkey situation right now myself.

All I know is this is the LONGHAIRcareforum....so girl don't let that man stress out your tresses! I woke up with a pimple from stressing over my bs situation. I'm drawing the line right there.

I hope things work out for you and I wish you the best!

 

[latebloomer]

I agree texting may not be the best way to communicate, however to set the record straight i wasnt asking him to marry if anything i'm the one with more doubts than him. Everyone has different ways of doing things, i've read books which have said to write letters if you find it hard to communicate or do it online, that way everyone wont be butting in to each other and it avoids arguments. My point in this post to be honest was not me having a problem with him not marrying me or me wanting him to marry me now. It was the fact that he was overlooking what i was saying and talking about something else that was irrelevant and to which he had no point. He has since admitted it and has apolgised for not taking the time to answer my question. I have since apologised for getting so wound up but he see's my point.

I do thank you all for words of wisdom, however just wanted to clarify that i am not chasing the man to marry me. As for the person that said i should keep my knickers on i never mentioned that we were engaged rather talking about getting married in 2010 once he's finished university. I have not just met the man we've been together for nearly six years so please dont judge and keep your knicker remarks to your friends or for those who asked to be judged by your standards.

Other than that, thank you to everyone that had genuine advice
x

 

[Bunny77]

I agree texting may not be the best way to communicate, however to set the record straight i wasnt asking him to marry if anything i'm the one with more doubts than him. Everyone has different ways of doing things, i've read books which have said to write letters if you find it hard to communicate or do it online, that way everyone wont be butting in to each other and it avoids arguments. My point in this post to be honest was not me having a problem with him not marrying me or me wanting him to marry me now. It was the fact that he was overlooking what i was saying and talking about something else that was irrelevant and to which he had no point. He has since admitted it and has apolgised for not taking the time to answer my question. I have since apologised for getting so wound up but he see's my point.

I do thank you all for words of wisdom, however just wanted to clarify that i am not chasing the man to marry me. As for the person that said i should keep my knickers on i never mentioned that we were engaged rather talking about getting married in 2010 once he's finished university. I have not just met the man we've been together for nearly six years so please dont judge and keep your knicker remarks to your friends or for those who asked to be judged by your standards.

Other than that, thank you to everyone that had genuine advice
x

I didn't respond earlier, but I think the general point is that such a serious conversation should not take place over text. Even if you didn't ask him about marrying you and if he'd do it, asking such an important question in general should be done in person.

Yes, him bringing up your past didn't make sense, but again, much of this could have been avoided if you could have talked to him face-to-face, or at least by phone (at the worst), you could have understood his tone and asked questions and gotten a much better response than trying to read between lines on a phone screen.

Also, there will be problems in the future -- whether you marry or not -- if you two can't talk about big issues in person and have to rely on text messages and e-mails to do so. Just keep your eyes open, be careful and most importantly, TALK, not text!!!