Who is saying Black Women Can't Grow Hair?

[CocoBunny]

I keep reading that "others" are thinking and feeling that black women cant grow hair. Who are these "others" and how do we know what they are thinking?

I have a plethora of friends and family in a variety of races and never once did I ever get the idea that they actually had the time, energy or motivation to ponder whether or not black women could grow hair.

Are the "others" AA or non AA? Are these "others" certain age groups, geographic locations or ???

Most of my non AA friends wear wigs, extensions, clip ins. In fact more of them wear hair add ons than my AA friends. And not once in my conversations about wigs, methods or extensions, did I ever think that they were secretly thinking I couldn't grow my hair. In fact the comments where usually "you are lucky your hair is so thick it'll hide the clip in" or UGH! "I wish I had curly hair it's so much easier to match" (btw it's not easier to match).


Could it be that maybe nobody (AA or otherwise) is as interested in our hair as we think they are and that maybe just maybe, the idea that others have the time and energy to worry about whether black women can/can't grow hair is a reflection of a subconscious insecurity, a secret belief that we ourselves had/have or maybe a desire to be a victim and have something to complain about.


YMMV

 

[tatiana]

I have heard black women could not grow hair unless they were a type 3 from black men and women.

I have also heard such comments or similar comments made by non-blacks such as asians, whites, and hispanics because they see none to few blacks with long hair but they see their own kind with long hair.

 

[Platinum]

Unfortunately, I seem to run into other Black people (especially Black men) that seem to think Black women can't grow hair. Perhaps its because they're used to seeing some Black women spending so much money on wigs and weaves. The only question I've gotten from "non-whites" is why do Black women straighten our hair to "look white"?

 

[Neith]

Everyone will have a different experience...

Just because you haven't experienced it in your personal life doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

Just like some people haven't experienced racism first hand... doesn't mean that it just doesn't exist anymore. It does happen.

Plenty of people black, white and everything else have this mentality.

The "Good hair vs. Bad hair" debate has been around for a LONG time.

They put out a movie called "Good Hair" this year. Oprah talks about it. Tyra Talks about it. Obviously there is something behind it. Not just the hairboard going crazy, lol.

 

[Aviah]

I used to think that unless you were mixed with something else your hair wouldn't get as long as other races "normal" lengths. I understand a lot of blacks think that way too, a lot of people seem to think SL or APL is SOOOO long.
But in my experience it was only us that have generally thought that way...

 

[exoticmommie]

I have heard plenty of black men say it. Even went to the Golden Corall after church one day with some friends, and one of the guys was talking about black women and they hair, and all we do is wear weaves.

I have heard some black women say it.

And the yt hispanic/latin women over here are a trip. They'll tell you in a sec that black men like them because of their long hair. And then flip it in your face. No matter how bugly they are.

It depends on where you live. This country is not one monolithic place.

 

[beans4reezy]

I get this from my own Black community; especially Black men. I used to think the same thing too, that in general, Black women had hair that just doesn't grow like our counterparts of other races. However, I always thank God for the education that LHCF provides. I now understand that our issue is retention, not growth.

 

[beans4reezy]

Everyone will have a different experience...

Just because you haven't experienced it in your personal life doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

Good observation. On a side note Neith, your hair looks great in your avi!

 

[CocoBunny]

Everyone will have a different experience...

Just because you haven't experienced it in your personal life doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

Just like some people haven't experienced racism first hand... doesn't mean that it just doesn't exist anymore. It does happen.

Plenty of people black, white and everything else have this mentality.

The "Good hair vs. Bad hair" debate has been around for a LONG time.

They put out a movie called "Good Hair" this year. Oprah talks about it. Tyra Talks about it. Obviously there is something behind it. Not just the hairboard going crazy, lol.

ITA with the bolded. Thus the YMMV.

 

[CocoBunny]

I have heard black women could not grow hair unless they were a type 3 from black men and women.

I have also heard such comments or similar comments made by non-blacks such as asians, whites, and hispanics because they see none to few blacks with long hair but they see their own kind with long hair.

They have actually come out and said it? I guess that's the part I am having a hard time fathoming. How does this kind of comment work it's way into a conversation?

 

[Avia62]

I have heard plenty of black men say it. Even went to the Golden Corall after church one day with some friends, and one of the guys was talking about black women and they hair, and all we do is wear weaves.

This is a very unfortunate but that is the perception that many people have.

 

[Avia62]

This is a very unfortunate perception that many people have! Sometimes, our own people share this view and pass it down to our children.

 

[jamaraa]

I often wonder why so many of us care what others think? I DO think most BW don't and never will have long hair because they can't accept their texture and constantly sabotage it. If you constantly work aganist what you have, it'll never achieve it's full potential.

I guess I'm saying it...most BW will never have long hair.

 

[Neith]

ITA with the bolded. Thus the YMMV.

Sure, you can have your opinions and that's cool, but I look at it as a fact that many (not all) people have issues when it comes to afro textured hair. Just like many people have issues with dark skin for example.

They have actually come out and said it? I guess that's the part I am having a hard time fathoming. How does this kind of comment work it's way into a conversation?

Yep. It's almost always awkward for me.

It comes up different ways. A lot of the time people just blurt out all kinds of silly things. I hear all kinds of ignorance from all types of people. That's life. I just try to keep it moving most of the time

 

[beans4reezy]

They have actually come out and said it? I guess that's the part I am having a hard time fathoming. How does this kind of comment work it's way into a conversation?

Well, let's use my idiotic childhood friends as an example - two guy friends of mine. We grew up in an all Black neighborhood. These guys go away to college in a predominately white school.

Wow! White girls! They've discovered Utopia!!!

So now, don't you know these fools, their first year back visiting from school, all they could do is exalt the virtue of white women? White women have hair, Black girls do not. White women have hair that blow in the wind, Black girls do not. White women have hair that smells good, like fruit. Black women have hair that smells like grease.

The ignorance is astounding! So yes, sadly, this filth comes out of the mouths of our own erplexed.

 

[Bene]

I'm going to be honest about something. I think if you can't retain your growth (for whatever reason), then you can't grow hair. If your hair automatically breaks off at nape, then I'm gonna say "you can't grow hair".

 

[jamaraa]

Hair growth is a biological process. It has nothing to do w/ logic, prejudices, stereotypes, etc...it grows whether you do anything to it or not. Nor does how other's feel about it affect the process.

Keeping it on your head AND keeping it looking good is another story. Jacked up long hair does nobody any favors.

I honestly can't understand why so many Black women internalize this nonsense. Black men who choose to have long hair simply grow long hair....no apologies or explanations It's not rocket science folks. Obiviously your hair grows or you'd not have "new growth". What's wrong w/ short hair anyway?

 

[jamaraa]

Well, let's use my idiotic childhood friends as an example - two guy friends of mine. We grew up in an all Black neighborhood. These guys go away to college in a predominately white school.

Wow! White girls! They've discovered Utopia!!!

So now, don't you know these fools, their first year back visiting from school, all they could do is exalt the virtue of white women? White women have hair, Black girls do not. White women have hair that blow in the wind, Black girls do not. White women have hair that smells good, like fruit. Black women have hair that smells like grease.

The ignorance is astounding! So yes, sadly, this filth comes out of the mouths of our own erplexed.

This isn't ignorant, it's truth. Simple observation shows that most Black women do not have long hair. As a matter of fact, even those who do, given the texture of African hair, it will not behave in the way you state above. Yup, most Black women use some sort of grease for tons of reasons. In short, we are no Caucasians ! How is that inaccurate?

What I said about accepting texture and how it corrolates to length is, if you want your hair to "blow in the breeze" what are you willing to do to get that? Whatever it is, this is working against the texture and therefore will not help you retain length.

Later for people downing African textures....they can drop. However, the basic points are accurate.

 

[blkgurl2008]

One day in one of my classes we were talking about Tyra Banks, when some white guy yelled out, "Tyra Banks is black? I thought she was Egyptian!" the whole class laughed at him, he then said, "That's not her real hair then, is it?" I was shocked because he was so blatant. I wanted to protest but knew my words would carry little weight since my hair is not that long.But it was mainly the black people saying things like "hell no, thats just a good weave". I was soo suprised that day

 

[Vinyl]

I've heard this comment from black women, and a few white men. Usually if it's a white person I'll explain to them a little about why so little black women had healthy long hair (in my high school they didn't, which is where I heard the comments) but if it was a black woman I usually didn't say anything because I didn't want to feel like I was preaching to them.

 

[knt1229]

This isn't ignorant, it's truth. Simple observation shows that most Black women do not have long hair. As a matter of fact, even those who do, given the texture of African hair, it will not behave in the way you state above. Yup, most Black women use some sort of grease for tons of reasons. In short, we are no Caucasians ! How is that inaccurate?

What I said about accepting texture and how it corrolates to length is, if you want your hair to "blow in the breeze" what are you willing to do to get that? Whatever it is, this is working against the texture and therefore will not help you retain length.

Later for people downing African textures....they can drop. However, the basic points are accurate.

To me those statements are wrong because the intention of those black guys was to put black women down. Basically, they are saying that white women are better. Also, my hair has never smelled like grease (and I haven't smelled grease in any other black woman's hair) and my hair does blow in the wind. Now, it may not fall neatly back into place but it does move in the wind. So their comments were ignorant and inaccurate on several levels.

 

[Sera]

One day in one of my classes we were talking about Tyra Banks, when some white guy yelled out, "Tyra Banks is black? I thought she was Egyptian!" the whole class laughed at him,

I couldn't help but laugh at this one - hilarious!

he then said, "That's not her real hair then, is it?" I was shocked because he was so blatant. I wanted to protest but knew my words would carry little weight since my hair is not that long.But it was mainly the black people saying things like "hell no, thats just a good weave". I was soo suprised that day

I actually had one of my friends ask me why didn't I get my hair looking like Tyra's hair; well let's just say I had to explain to her that 1st and foremost, Tyra's hair isn't all hers, it's a weave! She was shocked & I was ooooooooooookay. Secondly, I would have to flat iron the life out of my natural hair in order to get it that straight. She didn't quite understand why I couldn't just wake-up every morning & flat iron it straight...I tried my best to explain it to her, but it's a lost cause for some people.

 

[Neith]

To me those statements are wrong because the intention of those black guys was to put black women down. Basically, they are saying that white women are better. Also, my hair has never smelled like grease (and I haven't smelled grease in any other black woman's hair) and my hair does blow in the wind. Now, it may not fall neatly back into place but it does move in the wind. So their comments were ignorant and inaccurate on several levels.

Yep, that's the part that gets to people I think.




It's as if kinky hair is alien hair. It doesn't grow like a "normal" person's hair, does it? It's somehow inferior to other hair textures. And it's just sad that a lot of the people who have it feel that way about it... if only we all knew the truth!

Do I wake up thinking about what other people think about me/my hair? Do I let it stop me from doing what I want to do? Nope.

but I'm aware that this is the way that many people think, and I have had bad experiences because of people's reaction to my hair... and it frustrates me sometimes.

 

[Sera]

Unfortunately this metality exists not only in other races, but within the black community as well. Sad, but definitely the reality. I think it will take a decade or 2 of seeing a large number of long haired black females (without weaves or wigs) to change such a mentality - now wouldn't that be something.

 

[Sera]

Yep, that's the part that gets to people I think.




It's as if kinky hair is alien hair. It doesn't grow like a "normal" person's hair, does it? It's somehow inferior to other hair textures. And it's just sad that a lot of the people who have it feel that way about it... if only we all knew the truth!

Do I wake up thinking about what other people think about me/my hair? Do I let it stop me from doing what I want to do? Nope.

but I'm aware that this is the way that many people think, and I have had bad experiences because of people's reaction to my hair... and it frustrates me sometimes.

Well said!!

 

[MonPetite]

Add to this, that when we often indulge in weaves, wigs, etc. (NOTHING wrong with that, either, I might add), we choose a texture that is not...how to say this..."close to average"...for most of African descent.

I know, my dears, exceptions abound, but they are that...exceptions. Few of us have the EXACT same texture. There is no "true Black/African texture". HOWEVER, the majority of our VERY DIFFERENT textures...are no where near 1a.

Perhaps, if more of us did not straighten our hair...and if we choose extensions of a coilier sort...this view may not be so prevalent.

It is difficult to retain length, when you take your hair from one extreme to another, more often than not.

Clearly, it is not impossible as the bevy of BSL+, relaxed beauties of LHCF have shown.

However...as is often said of LHCF by its OWN members: our practices, views...and lengths...are not the "norm".

In my own experience, when hair came up in conversation with non-Blacks, they often held the view that "our" hair cant grow to longer lengths.

Or...it never came up at all.

More often than not..."our" hair never comes up -even in conversations about hair. I do think, to a large degree "others" simply...don't care about "our" hair. Which seems rather healthy for everyone, post-Good Hair.

If anything, more people marvel over how naturally jet black my hair is, rather than the texture. Those who have issues with the texture generally make faces, but remain silent (Thank God!).

 

[onejamifan]

My only experience with this is an Italian friend of mine (male) who said to me once that he can't believe how I can have long hair considering I'm a woman of color. It was his understanding that we could not grow long hair...it was not said maliciously or anything like that, it is just that in his limited exposure to people of color, he's never really met too many women with long hair. My 2 cents.

 

[kandake]

When I tell people I'm growing my hair out I get the look all the time. And I only want APL hair. This comes from black/white/Hispanic men and women.

Then they start inspecting my hair I guess to see if I have the kind of hair that grows (according to them.) And then they ask whether or not my hair was long as child. those who've known me since I was child just look at me crazy cause they already know my hair as NEVER been long.

I've also shown people hair pics from this site and most are usually extremely surprised. I'll point to someones hair and say. This is how I want my hair. And again I'll get the face and a "good luck with that"

Again, this is from both men and women of different races.

 

[LoveLongLocks]

I have heard this from different races including BW- directly & indirectly.
It is just an assumption, b/c it is rare to see long hair on black women. This is just a straight up observation...to all races.
...I am sure that those Asian hair traders are very interested in if BW can or cannot grow their own hair

 

[Urban]

I don't know any AA's personally. But I have heard this on numerous occasions from African people. I know one girl, who when questioned by her workmates (yt), why she wears extensions, explained to them that she likes long hair and black hair doesn't grow . She said this despite the fact that she has a cousin who has waistelength hair!!!

I think the problem is two fold. 1) A lot of black women do not know how to care for their hair which gives the 'illusion' that black hair cannot grow. 2) Then because of what people are observing, they repeat such statements until it just becomes accepted as fact, so ingrained that most people will not bother to question it, no matter how untrue it may be. For a lot of black people, it's like questioning whether the sun will rise tomorrow. Duhh! lol. I think the concept is similar to the way the media has made many women believe that being skinny is more attractive to men. Yet I have heard of several studies n which men rate skinny women less attractive. But the belief (that skinny is more attractive) seems to prevail among women, no matter how untrue it is!

The other thing is that when people are shown examples of black people with long hair, they tend to make up excuses. When I questioned this girl why she'd say such a thing when she's seen that her cousin's hair has grown her hair long she responded "I don't know... her hair is just... I don't know!" lol, that's all she could come up with. I've also read several posts on here from ladies who have long hair and people assume they are mixed. I think it's less mentally taxing to just accept what they believe to be 'fact' rather than question it, which keeps such sentiments alive.

Sidenote: I find it interesting that as a hairboard, we pride ourselves in thinking differently about this whole hair thing. We know black hair grows, right? We can, for the most part, have MBL/WSL hair if we just take care of it, right? Why then, when a certain someone on here claimed that she had MBL hair (or whatever length it was), did people hound her ... I mean demand from her ... I mean ask her for evidence??? I know on this board we explicitly hold the perception that we know black hair can be long. But maybe implicitly a lot of us still believe that we can't get to those lengths (or something along those lines). Just a thought.

Apart from educating people about how black hair actually grows (of course, no different from any other race), and retaining length, I think as a people, it's high time we accepted the way we are. Both men and women! Like Jamara said in one of her posts, we are not caucasians!