Who Is Being Unreasonable?

[biznesswmn]

That’s a tough position for him to be in, trying to balance his 2 favorite ladies. Time to put on the big boy draws tho.

 

[Southernbella.]

I think you are both being reasonable. Of course he wants his mom to come for Christmas. It’s not some weird cousin or uncle. It’s his mother. Regardless of what’s she’s done, he loves her and wants her there. One day he may be done, but that day has not come yet. And of course I don’t blame you one bit. Who would want that negative energy in their new home?

That said, I would host Christmas, let hubby invite her, and let him deal with any fall out. I think you are going to have to detach from the entire situation. It doesn’t sound like she is physically violent or like she will steal from you, etc. But she will attempt to draw attention to herself and create drama. My grandmother was similar. At one point all of her children banded together and told her that if she didn’t behave she would be excluded from major events. Sounds like your dh isn’t there yet. So, I’d let it go for now. Detach, expect her to be ridiculous, assume she will do something silly, have a sense of humor about it, ignore her, and let dh handle her.

Have your Christmas party. It may or may not turn out perfectly. But really, does anything? If this is your biggest issue with your dh, consider yourself lucky. There is always something going on that we don’t like. What can you do? Control what you can, do what you want, let some stuff go, and be as happy as you can be.

Also, there is obviously something a little off with your MIL. I think if you take a different approach, your dh will eventually see things differently or something else will change. Be just a little kinder and more patient with your dh. And thank your lucky stars she isn’t your mother .

Alladis.

Without getting too personal, I'll just say this was my exact strategy and it's been drama free around here for years.

This isn't your fight. If she shows out, smile and nod and let your dh bear the brunt/burden of her foolishness. Once you take yourself out of the equation and he has nobody left to argue about it with, he'll be forced to face the reality of the situation.

 

[hopeful]

@dream13 Any updates? If you don’t mind sharing. How are you doing?

 

[dream13]

@dream13 Any updates? If you don’t mind sharing. How are you doing?

@hopeful Thanks for checking in on me.

We opted not to host Christmas dinner this year (for other reasons). However, things are still the same with his mom. DH and I have let the conversation die for now, but I’m sure it’ll come up again. Right now I’m just enjoying the peace in our home.