Who does more work...

[MD_Lady]

in the "initimate" areas of a relationship, men or women?

I have a single friend who is always about the men she dates. Her main gripe: They don't put as much effort into her enjoyment as she does theirs. It's gotten to the point where she's thinking (or so she says) that 99.99999% of men are like this and that this will always be an issue. My experience has been different, but I'm just one person. What do you think?

 

[ThatJerseyGirl]

ummm...i don't think ur friend is telling u everything....she may be the aggressor by pleasing them first....giving it her all. to a degree you can spoil him and he'll get lazy. she shouldn't give it her all at first.... i've had that happen, and he got spoiled and i eventually told him to kick rocks...my fault, but whateva.

tell ur girl to pump her breaks n lean back for a min...chill and let them pursue her (in the bed) next time.

 

[Vinyl]

I've only had one experience, but he ends up doing 90% of the work. erplexed I've actually been trying to change it so I do more work.

 

[DarlingNikki]

I think it depends on the person and/or their "experience" in that department. In some cases the man could be simply selfish and just out for "theirs". In other cases, the man needs guidance....many are simply clueless about what it takes to please a woman (or maybe that particular woman) in bed. However, if a female is open enough to have sex with a man, then she should be open enough to discuss her likes and dislikes with him.

For me, if there is no emotional attachment to that person then the sex reflects it. I don't put my all into it like I would if I were in love with the person.

 

[Latomian]

I've had this problem. My ex always said he wanted to please me but didn't like he had to put in extra effort. So...I stopped putting in effort. I stopped moving period. I showed him he was being selfish. It helped.

 

[Sly]

Men. (Or should be).

 

[Farida]

The problem is men and women have a different definition of romance. Most have to be taught. If the man isn't willing, let him go. Their minds don't work like ours.

 

[MizAvalon]

When they are actually putting the work in, I think men do more work. As far as foreplay goes.

 

[bimbabe]

I think men should and usually do put in more work unless they are lazy.
BUT it is a better experience for them and us when we try to match them

 

[MD_Lady]

ummm...i don't think ur friend is telling u everything....she may be the aggressor by pleasing them first....giving it her all. to a degree you can spoil him and he'll get lazy. she shouldn't give it her all at first.... i've had that happen, and he got spoiled and i eventually told him to kick rocks...my fault, but whateva.

tell ur girl to pump her breaks n lean back for a min...chill and let them pursue her (in the bed) next time.

I don't think so either... As a matter of fact, I KNOW she's not because she always has the same issue with different men. She's made a few comments about not being able to "let go" and staying in control... and of course, nothing makes you lose control quite like good... I just don't get why she's having such a hard time finding a middle ground.

 

[MD_Lady]

I think it depends on the person and/or their "experience" in that department. In some cases the man could be simply selfish and just out for "theirs". In other cases, the man needs guidance....many are simply clueless about what it takes to please a woman (or maybe that particular woman) in bed. However, if a female is open enough to have sex with a man, then she should be open enough to discuss her likes and dislikes with him.

For me, if there is no emotional attachment to that person then the sex reflects it. I don't put my all into it like I would if I were in love with the person.

And that was my point ... She knows (or should know) how easy it is for a man to get lazy if the woman is always doing all the "work", but she's pouncing and :scratchch when the favors aren't returned and she's left . My whole thing was that she should switch it up and put some of the focus on herself, but since I've heard many women talk about having her issue, I'm starting to wonder if it's just not that simple for some reason.

 

[MD_Lady]

The problem is men and women have a different definition of romance. Most have to be taught. If the man isn't willing, let him go. Their minds don't work like ours.

Very true and even though she also has "lack of romance" issues, this is more of a foreplay problem. Basically, she freestyles her behind off, but the guys don't seem to be reciting the spoken word.

 

[MD_Lady]

I think men should and usually do put in more work unless they are lazy.
BUT it is a better experience for them and us when we try to match them

Competition can definitely be a good thing!!

 

[imstush]

9 times out of 10 I do the most work. I'm the aggressor...it's a power trip for me. It doesn't bother me at all.