nychaelasymone
Well-Known Member
been the one to file for divorce and were you happy that you did it?
When did you know it was over? has any woman
- Thread starter nychaelasymone
- Start date
shortycocoa
Hair Weave Killer
I was tired of having the same arguments over and over with no real resolution. I finally told him one day that I didn't think we should be married anymore. He asked why would I say that....to which I replied, "are you serious?" I would have definitely filed without hesitation if I had the financial means to do so.
deltagyrl
Well-Known Member
nychaelasymone said:
Two things happened:
One day I looked in the mirror and didn't recognize myself. I looked like myself but my eyes were...different. Vacant, maybe?
One day he was sick and as I watched him stumble around (4 sympathy) I thought to myself, if he is ever hospitalized or needs me to care for him due to serious illness, I'm out. Can't do it.
allmundjoi
New Member
.....deleted. was engaged not married.
3jsmom
Moving to District 13
Well right now I am in the process of filing and I tell you it is nerve racking but I know when it is over, I will finally have the final piece of my peace. I am peace right now but I feel like he thinks b/c we are married I am obiligated to still take him back and deal with him walking over me or lying to get what he wants.
10WordzOrLess
New Member
"Babe, I'm not happy."
"Well...deal with it."
* ZERO REGRETS *
"Well...deal with it."
* ZERO REGRETS *
NOEChic
I may not always be right, but I'm never wrong.
I filed for divorce and i knew it was over, when i couldn't pretend i was happy anymore. a friend asked me about my marriage and i bust out, i want a divorce. No i regret it? no. sometimes, I miss having a companion at home someone to talk to, but its crazy because my ex and i never really talked or offered companionship to each other.
itismehmmkay
Well-Known Member
I'm a fighter and a ride or die...that's if I know you'll cut for me. You can just tell when somebody don't give a fudge anymore. I had clear reasons. I would've got out sooner if I wasn't prego probably (yes sooner than just 18mths).
But I thank God that I did. Even though we're on good terms now. As a matter of fact...I"m sorry to say that's why we are. I told him, "I want to be able to think good thoughts of you and wish you well, I don't have that now". And that was very important to me in thinking of how we were going to coparent together. Well, I probably still do most of the parenting, but at least when I would have to reference his father, I wanted to be able to think good things. I told exhub (and God) that I wanted all the bad times and disappointments to be just a faint memory...and you know what? They are.
God is so good.
But I thank God that I did. Even though we're on good terms now. As a matter of fact...I"m sorry to say that's why we are. I told him, "I want to be able to think good thoughts of you and wish you well, I don't have that now". And that was very important to me in thinking of how we were going to coparent together. Well, I probably still do most of the parenting, but at least when I would have to reference his father, I wanted to be able to think good things. I told exhub (and God) that I wanted all the bad times and disappointments to be just a faint memory...and you know what? They are.
God is so good.
exactly, i couldn't pretend anymore after yeears of pretending.
SUPER SWEET
Well-Known Member
When we had more bad times i could think of than good!
FriscoGirl
Well-Known Member
nychaelasymone said:
When I was crying
Ballerina_Bun
Well-Known Member
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AstroQueen77
Well-Known Member
JustKiya
Well-Known Member
I knew it was over when he got in an accident, and I was a lil disappointed he walked away from it. 
I filed a couple of weeks later (and the only reason I waited so long was I wanted to be sure he couldn't legally file for alimony), and I'm the happiest I've ever been in my LIFE.
I filed a couple of weeks later (and the only reason I waited so long was I wanted to be sure he couldn't legally file for alimony), and I'm the happiest I've ever been in my LIFE.Ballerina_Bun
Well-Known Member
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ArrrBeee
Well-Known Member
I knew it was over when he got in an accident, and I was a lil disappointed he walked away from it.
@the bolded. Thank you for your honesty. If someone has walked in your shoes, they truly understand that feeling. I know I do.
gn1g
Well-Known Member
I filed after 10 years and I AM SO GLAD. I was thinking this morning that if I could put my life memories on a white board which ones would I erase and he was at the very top of the list, all 11 years. too bad I dont have a magic eraser. For now I will have to believe God to heal my memories.
Chameleonchick
Well-Known Member
This makes me so sad right now. I am feeling like this after 8 years. I think I'm actually better off emotionally with my husband in a different state. The only thing is he helps out financially.
Pink Sunshine
Well-Known Member
Bubblingbrownshuga
Well-Known Member
When he opted to go to work vs celebrating our 1st year anniversary, then got mad at me and called me selfish because I wanted him to stay home.
Tell me why this bastid went to work only for his car to stop, got towed back to the house, only to ask me to take him to work still?
When I would try to be spontaneous with him and he would say I wasn't acting like a 'Godly woman.'
erplexed
When I would plan fun things for us to do together, but he would get angry because he didn't think he could take off from work to do so. He didn't even try to take off, either.
When he would get angry at me for telling him what I would like for him to do to me in bed. He used to say 'other women liked xyz, why don't you?'
When he would pressure me to combine our bank accounts. Ummm, no
The sad part is, I took it. I thought that by me being 26 and him being 40, he knew more than I did and was wiser.
Tell me why this bastid went to work only for his car to stop, got towed back to the house, only to ask me to take him to work still?
When I would try to be spontaneous with him and he would say I wasn't acting like a 'Godly woman.'
erplexedWhen I would plan fun things for us to do together, but he would get angry because he didn't think he could take off from work to do so. He didn't even try to take off, either.
When he would get angry at me for telling him what I would like for him to do to me in bed. He used to say 'other women liked xyz, why don't you?'
When he would pressure me to combine our bank accounts. Ummm, no
The sad part is, I took it. I thought that by me being 26 and him being 40, he knew more than I did and was wiser.
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I think you just know when enough is enough.
My Ex-Hubby is a nice enough person but too lapse for me.No sex,no communication etc.
I did call many "peace talks" trying to sort out whatever seemed wrong,but it was too much hard work.I felt as though I was pushing a mill stone up hill.I was tired. I Thought "f**k this for a game of soldiers!"
My dad passed away Christmas Eve ,the year after our separation, and lots of stuff was happening.I took myself off to a new City and started again.
Love it! Life is great now with my new hubby.He is everything I ever wanted in a man.He been through similar situation so very well suited.
My ex and I get along as friends.He even went to my Mothers house for Christmas Dinner this year, with our daughter. lol its all good.
No matter what you going through now,with time,it really does get better.I promise.
Love n respect to all you lovely ladies out there going through this situation.
Toodle pip!
xx
My Ex-Hubby is a nice enough person but too lapse for me.No sex,no communication etc.
I did call many "peace talks" trying to sort out whatever seemed wrong,but it was too much hard work.I felt as though I was pushing a mill stone up hill.I was tired. I Thought "f**k this for a game of soldiers!"
My dad passed away Christmas Eve ,the year after our separation, and lots of stuff was happening.I took myself off to a new City and started again.
Love it! Life is great now with my new hubby.He is everything I ever wanted in a man.He been through similar situation so very well suited.
My ex and I get along as friends.He even went to my Mothers house for Christmas Dinner this year, with our daughter. lol its all good.
No matter what you going through now,with time,it really does get better.I promise.
Love n respect to all you lovely ladies out there going through this situation.
Toodle pip!
xx
PureSilver
Well-Known Member
When he opted to go to work vs celebrating our 1st year anniversary, then got mad at me and called me selfish because I wanted him to stay home.
Tell me why this bastid went to work only for his car to stop, got towed back to the house, only to ask me to take him to work still?
When I would try to be spontaneous with him and he would say I wasn't acting like a 'Godly woman.'
When I would plan fun things for us to do together, but he would get angry because he didn't think he could take off from work to do so. He didn't even try to take off, either.
When he would get angry at me for telling him what I would like for him to do to me in bed. He used to say 'other women liked xyz, why don't you?'
When he would pressure me to combine our bank accounts. Ummm, no
The sad part is, I took it. I thought that by me being 26 and him being 40, he knew more than I did and was wiser.
Sometimes older men are not wiser and can be more work than u ever imagine.
When I told him we either work on our marriage and get counseling or I'm done, He didn't believe me - he chuckled, patted me on the shoulder and walked away.
I filed. Never regretted it. He, of course, spent years begging and pleading for me to come back.
I guess he thought he had it in the bag.
skegeesmb
New Member
I knew our relationship was over when he would never say he loved me and all we did was fight. After 12 years of being together and I knew we should have gotten divorced in 2011. He gave the other girl the attention he used to give me.
He told me he was not sexually attracted to me at all, that I was fat (I'm not), and he was not sorry in anyway that he had an EA and a PA for months and justifying it blaming me.
We haven't officially divorced but I'm thinking by the end of this year I will. We maxed out my CC's trying to live a baller lifestyle that he wanted. While I was the one that just wanted to save and buy things.
I feel bad for him because he believes he's keeping the house which he WON'T be able to afford. I don't want it. He thinks I'm going to be a military spouse that takes him for everything. I won't and I'm not. I'm walking away with my stuff. I know I will have my own home within 3 years after our divorce is final. He doesn't pay bills, hasn't paid bills, hasn't ever filed taxes, I've done it all.
I can do it all by myself. I knew it was over when I watched him sleep and I wanted to take my hand and smash his face as hard as I could.
He told me he was not sexually attracted to me at all, that I was fat (I'm not), and he was not sorry in anyway that he had an EA and a PA for months and justifying it blaming me.
We haven't officially divorced but I'm thinking by the end of this year I will. We maxed out my CC's trying to live a baller lifestyle that he wanted. While I was the one that just wanted to save and buy things.
I feel bad for him because he believes he's keeping the house which he WON'T be able to afford. I don't want it. He thinks I'm going to be a military spouse that takes him for everything. I won't and I'm not. I'm walking away with my stuff. I know I will have my own home within 3 years after our divorce is final. He doesn't pay bills, hasn't paid bills, hasn't ever filed taxes, I've done it all.
I can do it all by myself. I knew it was over when I watched him sleep and I wanted to take my hand and smash his face as hard as I could.
Dare~to~Dream
Well-Known Member
skegeesmb
New Member
It's alright. We have pretty good memories until he joined the Army, I don't know he allowed himself to change and blamed the Army lifestyle which I knew was BS.
I guess the good thing about the EA and PA was that it was while he was in Germany and I didn't have to see it. It hurt a lot, but I don't know if I could have dealt with it well if she was around.
The EA/PA has been over for over a year but he's still sad about it. I knew that it was only a matter of time before divorce was going to come up. I was happy for 6 years of our relationship. These last 4 years have been hell.
