When both are virgins, divorce rate is only 2%

[caralexis2005]

who took this poll/survey? it seems sketchy to me. I just feel that if this was a voluntary response poll that only people who felt strongly about waiting until marriage would respond. If you feel that strongly about responding, you probably also feel very strongly about your marriage.
So the results are skewed by only extremists answering.

Also, America is such a sexually inhibited, Christian-oriented, patriarchal place I think alot of people lie about being virgins. Maybe I'm just cynical.

 

[vevster]

[ QUOTE ]
BTW, my ex fiancee was/is a virgin.


[/ QUOTE ]

EX Fiancee.

 

[nurseN98]

It's great that you are on this road. I got a little sidetracked but now I'm back on it. It really does make a difference and helps you weed out the (I think) most of the FCA's (future cheaters of america).

 

[kytrona]

With marriages where only one person was a virgin before, who usually asks for the divorce?

 

[pebbles]

[ QUOTE ]
vevster said:
Good luck finding your male virgin.

Unfortunately, my friend was in the 2%. She and her husband were virgins and he turned out to be DL.

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL!! Sorry Vev, that was funny.

 

[Supergirl]

[ QUOTE ]
vevster said:
[ QUOTE ]
BTW, my ex fiancee was/is a virgin.


[/ QUOTE ]

EX Fiancee.

[/ QUOTE ]

Not sure I see your point--my point was that they do exist.

 

[ballet_bun]

this is interesting ... what about those who commit themselves to celibacy, after having been with others in the past.

 

[vevster]

[ QUOTE ]
Not sure I see your point--my point was that they do exist.


[/ QUOTE ]

I know they exist, I guess my point is with all the other criteria one looks for in a 'good guy' to add virgin to the list seems daunting. Especially as you get older, y'know?

I don't mean it to mean any insult.

 

[felicia]

[ QUOTE ]
bree said:
this is good to hear, considering me and my b/f are both virgins. i think it has to do with the couple being each others one and ONLY therfore there's a strong commitment to one another. and after you've done the deed to go and divorce would be like giving up on everything after waiting for each other so long.

[/ QUOTE ]
so are my boyfriend and me

 

[moneychaser]

[ QUOTE ]
Supergirl said:
[ QUOTE ]
vevster said:
Good luck finding your male virgin.

Unfortunately, my friend was in the 2%. She and her husband were virgins and he turned out to be DL.

[/ QUOTE ]

I didn't say that I was necessarily looking for one--just sharing an interesting statistic. BTW, my ex fiancee was/is a virgin.

[/ QUOTE ]
My ex was a virgin too... Iin high school his father made him volunteer with this group that passed out condoms to prostitutes and drug addicts, from then on the was scared straight.

 

[vevster]

I would love to know how old Felicia, Bree and their respective boyfriends are.

It is beautiful if you meet someone early in life and can go that route but most don't.

 

[loverofnaps71]

Well, my pastor who devoted his life to Jesus Christ from the day he entered this world, really lived his life right and was a soldier for Christ. He was even a virgin when he married his wife...also a woman of God and a virgin. They still divorced and he fell into a deep depression.

However, God blessed him with a wonderful Woman of God. He couldn't have asked for a better Christian woman. She gave him two more beautiful children and now they are happy.

I guess I'm not so sure that this is accurate across the board. I had an ex-friend who had many sex partners...upwards of nearly 100 [she admitted to me]. She was always concerned about whether or not God would punish her or if He could bless her with a loving relationship. Well, this goes to show you how wonderful God's grace and mercy is: she is now happily married and expecting another child.

Bottom line: We simply do not know what God's plan or Will is for our lives. It's totally up to Him to decide. I am a firm believer in the notion that everything happens for a reason...even divorce!

 

[loverofnaps71]

[ QUOTE ]
caralexis2005 said:
who took this poll/survey? it seems sketchy to me. I just feel that if this was a voluntary response poll that only people who felt strongly about waiting until marriage would respond. If you feel that strongly about responding, you probably also feel very strongly about your marriage.
So the results are skewed by only extremists answering.

Also, America is such a sexually inhibited, Christian-oriented, patriarchal place I think alot of people lie about being virgins. Maybe I'm just cynical.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think you're absolutely right. I was a virgin for a long time and my "first" broke up with me because I was a virgin!!! WTF????!!!!! Nowadays it seems as though men don't want virgins much anymore. However, there's still a double standard that exists: women are expected to remain virgins but men are not. That's just how it is.

 

[Ayeshia]

[ QUOTE ]
vevster said:
I would love to know how old Felicia, Bree and their respective boyfriends are.

It is beautiful if you meet someone early in life and can go that route but most don't.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think that bree is 19 (my age) and I think felicia is 21 or 22...dont ask me about the boyfriends though...That is a beautiful thing

 

[kytrona]

[ QUOTE ]
loverofnaps71 said:
Nowadays it seems as though men don't want virgins much anymore.

[/ QUOTE ]

Or they'd mess with women who are not virgins, but they want to settle down with those who are.

 

[Supergirl]

[ QUOTE ]
vevster said:
[ QUOTE ]
Not sure I see your point--my point was that they do exist.


[/ QUOTE ]

I know they exist, I guess my point is with all the other criteria one looks for in a 'good guy' to add virgin to the list seems daunting. Especially as you get older, y'know?

I don't mean it to mean any insult.

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh okay I see

I agree with you about adding "virgin" as a criteria. It's not one of mine. I have a "past" and can certainly understand if my future mate does too.

 

[Ayeshia]

[ QUOTE ]
Supergirl said:
[ QUOTE ]
vevster said:
[ QUOTE ]
Not sure I see your point--my point was that they do exist.


[/ QUOTE ]

I know they exist, I guess my point is with all the other criteria one looks for in a 'good guy' to add virgin to the list seems daunting. Especially as you get older, y'know?

I don't mean it to mean any insult.

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh okay I see

I agree with you about adding "virgin" as a criteria. It's not one of mine. I have a "past" and can certainly understand if my future mate does too.

[/ QUOTE ]

I have the same attitude SG

 

[HealthyHair]

[ QUOTE ]
caralexis2005 said:
who took this poll/survey? it seems sketchy to me. I just feel that if this was a voluntary response poll that only people who felt strongly about waiting until marriage would respond. If you feel that strongly about responding, you probably also feel very strongly about your marriage.
So the results are skewed by only extremists answering.

Also, America is such a sexually inhibited, Christian-oriented, patriarchal place I think alot of people lie about being virgins. Maybe I'm just cynical.

[/ QUOTE ]

Sadly, I think you have a very good point. I checked the internet for the rates of divorce amongst virgin couples but couldn't find any, however I did find a few articles on the fact that the STD rates amongst teenagers that took the vow of virginity (I forget the official name) is almost the same as teenagers who did not so I do find it a little hard to believe the divorce rate is only 2%. Sadly, I think it would be closer to the national average only because if anything the lack of experience makes the potential to stray especially on the mans part much stronger than a man or woman who has had perhaps one or more previous experiences because our media is overwhelmed with sex, the rates of teenagers who made the vow of virginity and actually stayed virgins isn't even as low as 2%, I believe as much as 88%

Regardless, I'm very saddened by the divorce rate in our nation, I wish it were only 2% nationally.

Interesting article that mentions std rate and the rate of vowed virgins that stayed virgins until marriage. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/3546007.stm

 

[Supergirl]

[ QUOTE ]
ballet_bun said:
this is interesting ... what about those who commit themselves to celibacy, after having been with others in the past.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'd like to know this too.

 

[Cleo]

[ QUOTE ]
cybra said:
I agree. Also, I think when they are both virgins, there's nobody to compare your partner too. I think many times with women, they go into a relationship wondering if they compare to the last person he was with, and visa versa. With virgins, it starts with a clean slate and all you discover together is more exciting, because it's the first time.

[/ QUOTE ]

Cybra you took the words out of my mouth! I TIA. No need for me to type it now

 

[Honeyhips]

Could the same be true of those who are celibate? I think it has more to do with becoming intimate with the person without having sex cloud things.

 

[BrEE]

[ QUOTE ]
vevster said:
I would love to know how old Felicia, Bree and their respective boyfriends are.

It is beautiful if you meet someone early in life and can go that route but most don't.

[/ QUOTE ]

i'm 19, will be 20 in a couple of months. me and my b/f are the same age and have known each other since we were 15 which i honestly think is the reason he's still a virgin.if i didnt snatch him up some other girl prob would have sexed him up by now.

 

[pressncurl]

My hubby and I were both V's when we married. We met when I was 20 and he was 23, and married 4 years later to the day!

 

[BrEE]

[ QUOTE ]
kytrona said:
[ QUOTE ]
loverofnaps71 said:
Nowadays it seems as though men don't want virgins much anymore.

[/ QUOTE ]

Or they'd mess with women who are not virgins, but they want to settle down with those who are.

[/ QUOTE ]

this is what i'm worried about. let's say me and my b/f were to break up i doubt i'd find another virgin male.and guys are such dogs once they found out i'm a virgin they'd try to bed me and when that doesnt work out they'd drop me.oh well, i have faith if i havent already met the perfect guy(my b/f), i will.

 

[BrEE]

[ QUOTE ]
pressncurl said:
My hubby and I were both V's when we married. We met when I was 20 and he was 23, and married 4 years later to the day!

[/ QUOTE ]

awwww good to hear.

 

[vevster]

Ok guys, I'm glad y'all are happy but you aren't talking about men and women over 30!

 

[Ayeshia]

[ QUOTE ]
bree said:
[ QUOTE ]
kytrona said:
[ QUOTE ]
loverofnaps71 said:
Nowadays it seems as though men don't want virgins much anymore.

[/ QUOTE ]

Or they'd mess with women who are not virgins, but they want to settle down with those who are.

[/ QUOTE ]

this is what i'm worried about. let's say me and my b/f were to break up i doubt i'd find another virgin male.and guys are such dogs once they found out i'm a virgin they'd try to bed me and when that doesnt work out they'd drop me.oh well, i have faith if i havent already met the perfect guy(my b/f), i will.

[/ QUOTE ]

Im not a virgin, but Im not experienced either. Because I refuse to talk about sex or my sexual history with people that I just met on the phone, they assume Im a virgin

Well good for me

And then I have people telling me that I dont look like I have sex?

Anyway Bree dont even tell them you are unless you bring it up on your own

If they assume you have sex then let them assume and vice versa. It will keep them guessing and theyll get tired after a awhile and leave you alone. The ones who stick around after that...well those are the people that are interested in you and not your sex life

 

[Laginappe]

[ QUOTE ]
ayeshia said:

Im not a virgin, but Im not experienced either. Because I refuse to talk about sex or my sexual history with people that I just met on the phone, they assume Im a virgin

Well good for me

And then I have people telling me that I dont look like I have sex?

Anyway Bree dont even tell them you are unless you bring it up on your own

If they assume you have sex then let them assume and vice versa. It will keep them guessing and theyll get tired after a awhile and leave you alone. The ones who stick around after that...well those are the people that are interested in you and not your sex life

[/ QUOTE ]

You know what? I totally agree. Your sexual history – regardless of what that history consists of – is no one’s business but yours. No one should have to explain why they don’t want to have sex with another person. Be it virginity, celibacy, or they just think that other person is not worth the nakedness. I personally think relationships – especially in those early getting to know you stages – would be a lot healthier if we took sex and sexuality totally out of the equation. These days its completely “normal” for a guy you’ve only recently met to query you on your sexual history and position preferences. Its sickening. What business is that of his? Its not likely that he’s going to get to experience any of those positions with me anyway!

 

[caralexis2005]

Ita, LON. Most men don't want virgins bc, as one of my male friends informed me, it carries too much weight/responsibility. They don't want to be responsible for breaking your heart after taking your virginity. Hmph! Virginity can definitely serve as "ho-radar". if they only want sex, they don't want the assumed emotional baggage that virgins carry.

Also, Ita with you Laginappe. Any man who feels comfortable asking you this is obviously trying to get in your undies. My fav. quote, "that person is not worth the nakedness". LOL- you can say that again.
Although, I don't think we can take sexuality completely out of the equation bc it's that attraction that draws men and women together, I believe. What can happen is men and women can take genuine interest in getting to know one another as complete, multi-dimensional beings. The actual act of sex is so powerful that if it happens too soon it can overshadow getting to truly know one another, yes. But I think sexuality can be expressed beyond physical acts. That's another post though.

 

[Supergirl]

Good point Lag

!!!!

Caralexis,

What emotional baggage do virgins carry? If anything--I would think that they would have less or no emotional baggage.

I do kind of see your male friend's point. I think that V's have a diff. mentality than non-V's. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but there's a certain naivety there. I think that was one of the issues with me and my ex. He was the V and I was not. We never had sex or anything and didn't plan to until marriage, but he was just altogether in a different state of mind from myself.