What's your REAL DealBreaker/s?

[MrsAriannaAmbers]

Well, I'm a fan of the crossing men off the list/cutting them out quickly plan... it worked for me.

I guess though you should make sure that you're crossing them off the list for REAL dealbreakers... not because he's a little shorter or has less hair than you might like (just an example... not saying you do this.).

But cutting a dude off for poor behavior? Oh yes, I will do that in an instant!

Sorry Bunny, but I just love this post because I believe life is too short for trying to settle for something that you don't want because you believe that is all that you can get...

I know we all have our preferences and standards when it comes to what we want in a BF, SO & DH. What I wanted to know is just what are your REAL DealBreakers that will just make you cross the man off of your list/life...or when it comes to getting to know someone that just can't be overlooked....whether its when you were dating/courting, intimate, engaged and/or married...


Here's my short list...

A. Treat the women in his life bad...his mom, sister
B. Funk/Bad Teeth
C. Bald-Head
D. More than 2 kids....I will finish my alphabet later

 

[Livingmylifetothefullest]

Someone who:

Drinks (more like an alcoholic)
Has been arrested; it's really not that hard to stay out of trouble
Is into drugs; of any kind or even associates with people who are
Has any kids
A man who is separated/divorced
Attitude; and I don't mean the normal when everyone has a tendency but a man who clearly has an attitude problem
Hygiene is off
Liar and a cheat but stuff like that you won't find out until later on in the relationship and if/when I do, I'm gone

 

[MrsHdrLe]

I would not accept profanity directed at me (ie cussing at me. ) This is the pre-cursor to verbal/emotional/physical abuse. Those words should not be directed towards someone you love.

 

[MrsAriannaAmbers]

E. I'm Seperated - the we are in process of getting a divorce lie....
F. Gossips more than me erplexed
G. FB, MySpace & BlackPlanet is more important than me
H. Fired 2 days after he moves in...


BTW...I am mixing my own with that of my BFF's as some of their dealbreakers are just hilarious...Will add more lata

 

[LifeafterLHCF]

Ok the non christian would say
Penis smaller than 9inch
Can't last 30min
Has no money


Now the christian that I am
Doesn't know Jesus for his self
Has kids,baby mama or has been bisexual in the past
No car,place of own,steady job
No degree
Doesn't like diversity
And tries to tell me that Im uppity or need to look a certain way

 

[CandiedLipgloss]

Oh boy I can go on for days, but here are a few:

He is unstable! He can have mental illnesses such as: Depression, bipolar, manic depressive.

Texts more than he calls, call and texts tooo much (shows me you don't have anything going on for yourself)

Calls or texts too little, or alot in the beginning, then it dies off.

Asking you to buy them something.

Not liking kids, or speaking badly of children

Badmouthing their exes, everything is the exes fault and they take no blame.

Badmouthing their childrens mother, or their mother.

Telling every detail of their previous relationship.

Being too forward about sex, or describing in detail what they did with women.

Not having a job for over 6 mths to a year, content with living in your mothers house off and on, or all your life.

No ambition, or goals

Showing signs of verbal or physical abuse

No spirituality

Criminal Record (This may hinder them from passing a background check, hence no job. Losing their license (job or vehicle related)

Possessive

Not visiting, spending time with, calling on a regular basis, or paying child support


Will be back with more later.

 

[Vinyl]

----------------------

 

[MrsAriannaAmbers]

I. He's always whispering...on the phone erplexed
J. He gossips more than me...
K. He asked me to get freaky and bought a strap-on for me to use on him...***Ya'lllllll this so is not mine...but I did hit the floor laughing cause this heifer was dead on serious that this happened.... and the look she gave me with them eyes like
L. Introduced me to his mom the first night...


I love this....they are calling me with stories since someone put the word out that I was doing this...I have been dying laughing all night...The men we love/don't love do some crazy stuff...

 

[ThatJerseyGirl]

Definite dealbreakas for me..

He's Fat.
Small Penis
He stinks
No teeth

those are the current dealbreakas...all the others are just common sense.

 

[panamoni]

Controlling
Dishonest
No relationship w God
Conservative/Republican

 

[Sapphire]

Doesn't call when he says he will
Divorced
Has kids

 

[Rastafarai]

Doesn't call when he says he will

Especially when habitual!

To add to the list:
Always late
No Ambition
Momma's Boy
Smoker
Heavy drinker
Bad hygiene

 

[Silkycoils]

No personal relationship w/the Creator
Evasive
Tries to "sell me dreams" (I want to "lock you down" or "wife you" )
Always has an excuse/explanation instead of just admitting they screwed up
Lack of morals (I once caught an ex trying to order "rims" with a stolen credit card
----number . . .that his sister gave him )
If yo family ain't ish and you still tight with them . . . then you likely ain't ish either. (see above) :buttkick:
Children by more than one woman
Kept having babies w/o marrying said woman (I'll cut someone slack for one child).
Interested in me, but not my sons
Child under that age of five (unless the mother is no longer living)

 

[MrsAriannaAmbers]

No personal relationship w/the Creator
Evasive
Tries to "sell me dreams" (I want to "lock you down" or "wife you" )
Always has an excuse/explanation instead of just admitting they screwed up
Lack of morals (I once caught an ex trying to order "rims" with a stolen credit card
----number . . .that his sister gave him )
If yo family ain't ish and you still tight with them . . . then you likely ain't ish either. (see above) :buttkick:
Children by more than one woman
Kept having babies w/o marrying said woman (I'll cut someone slack for one child).
Interested in me, but not my sons
Child under that age of five (unless the mother is no longer living)

Gurl...shut tha front door @ tha bolded....

 

[kismettt]

i had the most awkward dream ever. i was dating a short person but it took me till midway through my dream to realize he was so short & i asked all my friends because i really really really liked him but he was almost half my size. omg

in the past it has been:
- too clingy too soon (i was planning on transferring schools & on the first date he begged me not to)
- has a history of cheating/hooking up with any girl
- bad kisser. worst thing ever. if you are bad its a 100% turn off and we are done.
- not doing anything with his life
- using degrading terms for women. using the B word, calling them sluts/hos. that's disgusting to me

 

[**SaSSy**]

A guy who smokes, over drinks, and gambles.
A guy who's passive aggressive
A guy who has no positive relationship with god, or his family
A guy who is on FB, Twitter, or Myspace.
No job
Has kids
Still living with parents

 

[panama_princess6]

No personal relationship w/the Creator
Evasive
Tries to "sell me dreams" (I want to "lock you down" or "wife you" )
Always has an excuse/explanation instead of just admitting they screwed up
Lack of morals (I once caught an ex trying to order "rims" with a stolen credit card
----number . . .that his sister gave him )
If yo family ain't ish and you still tight with them . . . then you likely ain't ish either. (see above) :buttkick:
Children by more than one woman
Kept having babies w/o marrying said woman (I'll cut someone slack for one child).
Interested in me, but not my sons
Child under that age of five (unless the mother is no longer living)

Ooooh I hate that... just answer the doggone question....

Here are SOME of mine

History of cheating
More than 2 kids
Not close to their mothers- I dated a man that had no respect for his mother- if cant respect his mom the women that gave him life why would he respect me
Heavy drinker
No relationship with God
Bad Kisser- ugh i think i threw up in my mouth thinking about a bad experience i had...

I have some more I just have to think of the rest.

 

[panama_princess6]

A guy who smokes, over drinks, and gambles.
A guy who's passive aggressive
A guy who has no positive relationship with god, or his family
A guy who is on FB, Twitter, or Myspace.
No job
Has kids
Still living with parents

I hate to see all of a guy female friends on Myspace have breasts and booty hanging out... ugh

 

[Nyssa28]

A guy that has LOTS of friends, male & female.
A guy that has poor hygiene.

 

[BrownEyez22]

I want to add:

Has Gold Teeth

 

[Iluvsmuhgrass]

Deal breakers:

- Cheater
- Disrespectful (calling me outside my name, cursing at me, looking at other women, disrespecting my parents/family/etc.) Yes I'm dead serious and no I don't play.
- Abuse verbally or physically
- Moocher
- Lack of self-respect/morals
- Narcissism
- Arrogance (there's a difference between arrogance and confidence)
- Someone that can't manage their funds. (If your car needs brakes don't buy a $250 pair of shoes I'm just saying...)
- Men that try to buy my attention/affection. This is NOT 1-800-buy-a-hoe. Some women may go for that but I am sooooo not the one.

 

[Bene]

Some of these aren't necessarily bad things, but they are things that tell me that we wouldn't be compatible:


- Religious/ uber-christian/ bible thumper/ holy roller/ tells me I'm going to h*ll because I take the lord's name in vain or don't go to church or has serious issues with me being an atheist.

- Hates dogs

- Pro-lifer, conservative, etc.

- Speaks like he didn't pay attention in grammar classes

- Spends money on things I think are stupid (gold teeth, rims, massive jewelry, etc)

- Treats waiters/serving staff/store clerks poorly

- His dream woman is someone who'll wait on him hand and foot

- Doesn't read

- Demands too much of my attention

- Possessive, has problems with me having male friends

- Controlling. How I dress, what I spend my money on, who I hang out with and when is entirely my business.

- Has no interests, hobbies, or life beyond "the relationship"

- Has kids. Even if he has functional relationship with the ex, it means there's another woman in his life who has claim on his time and money.

- Drug addict, alcoholic, some sort of addiction

- Bad hygiene

- Doesn't respect my interests or hobbies

- Bad sense of humor or far too serious

- Close-minded, not willing to try new things

 

[MuseofTroy]

Criminal Records
Drugs
Divorced (as I want a fresh start. If you didn't make it with your first wife, what makes me so special. I'm so cool. Besides marrying a divorcee is actually adultery. But most Christians don't want to acknowledge that)
Abusive behavior (physically, mentally etc)
A liar
Infidelity. I'm leaving you the first time you cheat on me. No man is going to Tiger Woods me. LOL.

 

[misstobz]

-Not a christian
-bad credit/bad financial management skills
-criminal record
-more than a social drinker/smoker/drugs
-cussing/not a gentleman
-uneducated
-insecure
-lazy/not ambitious

I could go on of course-haha

 

[jennboo]

Deal Breakers:

-Married
-Kids
-Criminal record
-Mental Disorder
-Engaged in gay sex/was bisexual
-ugly (inside and out)
-Fat
-Close-minded
-Only has a HS diploma
-Does any type of illegal drug
-Drinks frequently
-Excessive use of slang/profane language
-Wears "hood gear"
-Comfortable with a minimum wage/menial job
-Hangs out on "tha block"

 

[Filmatic]

Married
Gay(or was in a former life) or bi or bicurious
Crossdresser
Submissive
Always has to ask me what to do
Momma's boy
No job
No ambition
Has children
Move to fast
Possessive
too aggressive
arrogant
calls me out of my name
expects money
doesn't expect to give money

 

[The Savvy Sistah]

Does not keep his word (dates, calling etc)
Texts all the time!! Nothing wrong with it at times, but I hate getting pages of texts, when you can just pick up the phone.
Cheap
Likes alot of drama
Not taking care of his kids. (I still prefer someone without children though)
Not supportive
Liar

 

[MrsAriannaAmbers]

M. FAT- Cannot be more than 235lbs...I think this goes for me and my gurls
N. Laziness - Walk out the door house is a mess, he's home all day and house still a mess
O. He picked me up for a date in a crackhead car!!!
P. He has more gay friends than me...*she thought he was suspect all along though*

 

[Lynnerie]

Deal Breakers: And these are in no particular order.

-Not a christian
-Gay tendencies/Was gay or Bi.
-Has kids
-Married/Divorced
-Doesn't take care of his body - out of shape
-Hygiene is suspect- he smells bad
-Bad teeth
-No ambition/goals
-Doesn't have a degree (He gotta be at least working on it)
-Smokes
-Excessively drinks
-Lives with his momma
-Bad credit
-Insecure/can't handle a woman who has her own.
-Mean to animals
-Criminal record
-Abusive

And I could probably go on and on.

 

[HoneyA]

Deal breakers:

-married/has a girlfriend

-overly religious

-excessive drinking

-being too demanding and pushy

-coming on too strong on the first date

-poor hygiene/bad breath

-any convincing me to give them a chance

-not being open minded enough

-no goals in life

-can't hold proper/stimulating conversation

-no opinions on anything