What's wrong with me???

yokoyokogirl

yokoyokogirl

New Member
I was out today with a girlfriend and her kids. (She's Japanese married to a Black guy) and her youngest and I are at the monkey cage in the public park.

I notice this semi-cute Black guy is chilling on the bench across from us with his laptop. (I notice Black ppl everywhere here..) So I look over but don't really "look" too much, you know.

A few minutes later, he comes over and says "Your son is really cute" and I say "Oh I'm just watching him for his momma" He goes "Oh" and then proceeds to give me his number, say he's in the Navy and can we have some coffee sometime.

I think "Nah ni**a you probably gay, married, or something worse. Why you in the park with a laptop during the middle of the day??Probably looking at kiddie porn or doing some DL crap on your Black wife who's in America and has no clue.And you wanna include me up in the ish. I KNOW YO GAME"

But I just said "sure" and then when we left the park, I threw the number in the trash. I know that may be wrong, but my friend said I have issues, cause he might have been a nice guy on his off day, came to the park to do homework for his job or degree or just writing a stroy. YEAH RIIGHT.

And it doesn't help that my friend is always telling me her husband "emotionally cheats" on myspace, flirts and stuff on her. I'm seriously beginning to think all men are up to something scandalous and the ones that aren't, must be gay, freaky, or into kids.

Maybe I need conseling...

Ok feel free to tear my post up.
 
I'm not gonna tear your post up, and nothing is wrong with you. It's a natural defense mechanism we women today unfortunately must have when dealing with the male species. My question is 'What's wrong with them?" I would have had the same thoughts running through my head girl, most especially because he's in the military. I'll never do one of those again.
 
I understand your caution, actually. If it doesn't feel right, it doesn't feel right. However, a little more casual research might have revealed that he may not have been the bad guy you thought he was. Coffee in a public place is safe enough. Better yet, a couple of telephone conversations would have resolved some of your doubts. Next time, give an encounter like that more than one thought. You never know.
 
Right now I don't feel like anything's wrong with you because you have been recently wronged in a relationship (if I'm not mistaken).

It's okay to give yourself some time in between relationships to get yourself together. Rebound relationships, imo, are not that great, and then you get deeper and deeper into despair.

If you're feeling this way in, like say, five years--I'd say you should probably see a counselor. But because of your recent history with your last relationship, your feelings are justified.
 
its the aftershock of what you have been through. i dont find your behavior peculiar but dont let what happened to you change you for the worst, i.e. getting bitter. you should be cautious from now on just try not to overdo it.
 
:lachen::lachen::lachen:Your post had me cracking up. I know you've been through somethings but you have to learn to not allow an assholes bs foul behavior to dictate your future. Don't go giving up yo power to love and trust again like that momma. You can be more aware and discerning in your future interactions fo sho. :grin: And why da helz ain't I heard from you lately chica?
 
I definitely wouldn't have thrown that number away. It's too late now, but I would have at least given him a shot, and if things looked suspicious, then I would have backed out. You may need a little counseling but I don't think you have a big problem or anything. Your friend's issues with her husband "emotional cheating" may be floating into your subconscious and shaping your ideas a little bit.
 
Given what happened to you recently, this is a natural reaction. Instead of thinking the cup is half empty, look at it as half full. There was a reason you and your ex broke up, it was to make room for the future love of your life. Give yourself time to heal and then allow this person into your life. Of course you will probably come across some rotten apples before you meet your mr right, but when you do all the pain that preceded your meeting will be worth it!
 
I really think you need a therapist to talk to in order for you to deal with the drama your ex put you through. Seriously hun because I dont want this to ruin your future love life.


However I do not blame you at all for what you feel especially after your ex.....i kinda feel that way about most men I meet myself ( maybe not that drastic but i always assume they have a wife/girlfriend) so I seriously understand.
 
Honestly, OP after what you have been through in your last relationship, I can understand your mistrust of men.

I agree with Honeycomb.
 
While reading your post Yoko, I was thinking darn that's harsh... But, like others have stated I can see where it stems from... You need to take time for you, and don't let one situation spoil it for others..

You didn't even get to have a full convo with dude, and you dismissed him... You should at least try having coffee with a dude before that, so you can get a grasp of what he is about... :perplexed... but, again I understand your position from last rlp...
 
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You just may need counseling and there is nothing wrong with that! While I think the way you reacted isn't abnormal, I thik it's sad for you to feel so negative about ALL men. But I understand. I think we've all been there and felt that way. I'm married now and sometimes I'm that way about other guys I see.
 
I just remembered something my mom told me. She said that men are attracted to women who have cute kids. I always thought that men werent' attracted to women with kids-period- but to me that translated into "Men are attracted to cute kids." That sounds very pedophile-ish to me. I don't blame you for feeling the way you did.
 
You're still processing all the stuff that went down in your last relationship. That on top of a probably broken heart is a lot to deal with. Sadly the only thing that's going to fix that is time. Until you get to a place where you can put what happened behind you and start to trust your judgment again you're going to look at every man with a side eye anyway.
 
i don't think there's anything wrong with that given what you've been through. it will take time to trust again.. plus, i mean, u don't have to entertain every man that throws his phone number your way. if something dosen't feel right, then you're entitled to disgress.
 
It just sounds like you're still experiencing a wave of emotions, and are still recuperating from what you've been through.

I would probably be the same as you right about now too if I were in that situation.
 
~~HoneyComb~~ said:
Right now I don't feel like anything's wrong with you because you have been recently wronged in a relationship (if I'm not mistaken).

It's okay to give yourself some time in between relationships to get yourself together. Rebound relationships, imo, are not that great, and then you get deeper and deeper into despair.

If you're feeling this way in, like say, five years--I'd say you should probably see a counselor. But because of your recent history with your last relationship, your feelings are justified.
Click to expand...

Very profound. I agree that she needs some time. :yep:
 
I think you need counseling after what you've been through Yoko. Anyone would.


You're an attractive, humorous, and kind soul, you'll have many men after you. It's important that you be mentally and emotionally ready for the one that's meant for you.
 
at face value..it was an impulse..you followed it..questioned it
got feedback....all good .....it's one number out of how many that
you are going to receive...so you can cut yourself some slack...
i mean ...let go of judging yourself...

it'll happen again...:) and again..
but now you will have been able to process what you want to do
with future numbers..so you won't be taken by surprise
whether it's to file under

(a)put in the drawer labled...don't call us we'll call you
aka...still processing stuff..on hold til I am ready for you dudes..
(b) CALL THIS ONE IMMEDIALTELY
(c)la basura..the trash
(d) misc

you're doing great...
whether you are ready or not for a relationship or dating aside
is not the point ...tho I agree time and therapeutic support
seems a key part of this process...

but right now...you are putting out vibes that romance is still an option one day
even tho the number went in the trash...even if it's not toDAY
y'knw that's a good sign.. professional guy reaching out
checking out a pretty girl.. has laptop so he's literate..takes initative
uh-huh...
your healings on the mend and the universe is taking notice
 
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having a chip on your shoulder.
Click to expand...
imho...I don't think that's the case here...:rolleyes:

I know I'm at a point don't deal with baggage from interested parties.
Click to expand...
quite honestly?
everybody has baggage ..to some degree
it all depends on "what" you are willing to help carry
or how much

don't deal with baggage? not realistic ...:perplexed
 
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Do you know the history of the situation... It is a far cry from a chip on shoulder hun... Lol... :yep:

Lylddlebit said:
Okay you don't think that's the case...your opinion...kinda like the one I had of my own. And yes that I said I don't deal with baggage. My reality is, in fact, how I perceive it:grin: So keep the eyes rolling hun, I'm not afraid to offer a different perspective from the general agreement. That often happens in discussions. So the original poster is able to discern which pieces of different opinions apply to her situation.
Click to expand...
 
So keep the eyes rolling hun
Click to expand...

oh..promise you ..
it was not meant ..at all....sarcastically...total misunderstanding
lol...emails are so easy to tangle up things

I like the blue smiley :) ...it seems more amused..or puzzled
than its so-called eye-rolling definition which I've always ignored

so... sorry about that

I'm not afraid to offer a different perspective from the general agreement. That often happens in discussions. So the original poster is able to discern which pieces of different opinions apply to her situation.
Click to expand...

oh yeah...{nods head} difference of perception is all...
I felt your post was a tad harsh...actually more of a
chip on the shoulder energy -again,no sarcasm-..than OP...
your opinion meant in the best of intentions
no doubt... so goodness..no huge debate on it...
why was why I said one sentence...questioning
and dropped it....
OP seemed more humorous,and self effacing..and honest
than a bitter female..imho

ETA..I think the fact she even took or considered a number
was a positive and healing step but even if not..that one action
alone does not define..bitterness...or a refusal to heal

baggage...yep...I honor your opinion on that
but respectfully agree to disagree
tis all.....
 
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yokoyokogirl said:
I was out today with a girlfriend and her kids. (She's Japanese married to a Black guy) and her youngest and I are at the monkey cage in the public park.

I notice this semi-cute Black guy is chilling on the bench across from us with his laptop. (I notice Black ppl everywhere here..) So I look over but don't really "look" too much, you know.

A few minutes later, he comes over and says "Your son is really cute" and I say "Oh I'm just watching him for his momma" He goes "Oh" and then proceeds to give me his number, say he's in the Navy and can we have some coffee sometime.

I think "Nah ni**a you probably gay, married, or something worse. Why you in the park with a laptop during the middle of the day??Probably looking at kiddie porn or doing some DL crap on your Black wife who's in America and has no clue.And you wanna include me up in the ish. I KNOW YO GAME"

But I just said "sure" and then when we left the park, I threw the number in the trash. I know that may be wrong, but my friend said I have issues, cause he might have been a nice guy on his off day, came to the park to do homework for his job or degree or just writing a stroy. YEAH RIIGHT.

And it doesn't help that my friend is always telling me her husband "emotionally cheats" on myspace, flirts and stuff on her. I'm seriously beginning to think all men are up to something scandalous and the ones that aren't, must be gay, freaky, or into kids.

Maybe I need conseling...

Ok feel free to tear my post up.
Click to expand...

You have lots of issues, please get help.......not only did you rip him for being married and cheating, which you don't know but you think he's a pervert. Damn maybe he's just out enjoying the weather. Why does he have to be gay? What is your problem?
 
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