What's the POINT?!

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Okay, I am asking a genuine curious question of mine. I've asked female friends IRL recently as well, but wasn't satisfied with the answers (kind of vague and/or inarticulate).

Anyway, the past couple of years, dating in my young adult life I have come to realize that seemingly many females have sex with the man they're dating/interested in/etc. with a couple of dates or days/weeks of seeing each other. I don't really have an opinion either way, though I personally don't and I always feel so lame when my friends are asking when or when a guy is wanting sex and I have to explain I don't have sex outside of real relationships, but I've always wondered....particularly as of recent....what is the point of having casual sex with a guy after a few dates or meetings? I'm just curious to see what responses people come up with since most females in my age group seem to do it, and I am a little more suspicious and future minded and over-analyze IRL, lol.

From what I've observed and been told when asked, sometimes it has a lot to do with just enjoying sex or wanting to be liberated and a modern day woman. However, I've had friends flat out admit they did it out of obligation or to keep interest. I'm just wondering as a female who is majorly paranoid and distrustful, and constantly thinking of the worst case scenario with men, lol. This has been on my mind a lot recently because of a guy I've become involved with, and of course things headed in THAT direction, and I logically reasoned out of it because I didn't think enough was in it for me. And, yes, the guy was shocked. :lol:

Sooooo, anyway, I'm interested in answers. From all types of opinions. :grin: :grin:
 
When sex is casual, it really has very low meaningfulness and value and really becomes just an extension of kissing - touching - etc - etc. When you're like "eh whatever" there are fewer reasons to talk yourself out of doing it. I suppose it could tie into the whole idea of a "modern, liberated woman" but mostly I would say it's the same kind of thought process in going for take out instead of staying in and cooking. You probably shouldn't but eh, whatever, what difference does it make.

One way of looking at it not saying I agree or not, so I don't have any defenses for criticism.
 
mischka said:
When sex is casual, it really has very low meaningfulness and value and really becomes just an extension of kissing - touching - etc - etc. When you're like "eh whatever" there are fewer reasons to talk yourself out of doing it. I suppose it could tie into the whole idea of a "modern, liberated woman" but mostly I would say it's the same kind of thought process in going for take out instead of staying in and cooking. You probably shouldn't but eh, whatever, what difference does it make.

One way of looking at it not saying I agree or not, so I don't have any defenses for criticism.
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I agree. I've had casual sex plenty of times before. It's rarely ever abt the other person. It's all abt me and what I want. To me, casual sex must carry some level of selfishness. Or boredom lol. I did it cuz I wanted to. I was h-rny. And in college . But I've never thought or considered myself modern or liberated. Greedy? Possibly. Selfish? At times. But there was no feminism-like feelings behind it. Basically "I can, so I will". It's just for sex. But I'm also a bit more sex crazed than many women I know


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I guess the same reason guys do it...because they want to have sex...

I personally don't do it, but it seems like many women on here do it and that's the typical answer. nothinwrongwiththat
 
I agree with above. I mean for each person I guess it depends. To me its because you just want to have sex, but I would not do it as a obligation to the person.
 
1.) Because they're h*rny
2.) They are attracted to the guy but not enough to want more from him besides sex.
3.) They're h*rny:lol:
 
Girl believe me I am in the same both except I'm 26 and a virgin and don't believe in sex with any man other than the man who is my husband (if I ever get married). What is point of having casual sex with all the diseases and risks of becoming pregnant/being used?
  • They have no self-control. They let their bodies think for them.
  • They don't think about the future and the consequences. Their mind-set is all HERE AND NOW.
  • They think everybody is doing it and they will be seen as a weirdo if they don't. Societal pressures.
  • They are trying to trap a man into a relationship, even though that hardly ever works even after the baby/babies are born.
  • They are impatient. Do not want to wait for the right person who will marry them and treat them right or they try to make every man they meet The One.
  • They don't care about themselves or their physical/mental well-being.
  • They think diseases or pregnancy will never happen to them.
  • They think SEX is the most important thing in a relationship.
  • Low self esteem, they've never known real affection and love, maybe fatherless, no good male role models in their lives and try to find it through sex with many men.
  • They feel sex is the only way they could really connect with a man.
  • They want a man by any means possible, even if he is not really their man. They rather have a piece of a man rather than no man.They consider him their man because they are having sex. You know those women/girls who consider every man they have been dating only a month or less their boyfriend. Ridiculous! etc. etc. etc.
ETA: Personally I HATE the idea of casual sex. It has really messed up true courtship which is what I want and makes it extremely hard to find a good guys. All these guys expect you to be in bed with them by the 3rd/4th date. I wish casual sex would DIE. :yep:
 
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If they're two consenting adults who are protecting themselves and want to have sex that that's on them. Even if they're doing to to "keep in interested" just make sure that you wrap it up and take whatever other safety precautions.
 
Sport sex, :lol:

Believe it or not, some women just like to get laid with no strings attached. If it isn't for you, then it isn't for you.
 
what is the point of having casual sex with a guy after a few dates or meetings?
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to get laid. everyone is not into intimate bonds, deep meaningful connections, joining of hearts and all that ****. some women like casual ****ing and that's a-ok.

i, personally, am not waiting for 3.25 months or until marriage or until we've had at least 50 dates. i'll **** when i want and if that's on the 2nd date then it will be on the second date.*shrugs*
 
Because sex is very important in a relationship and before I commit myself to you I need to know that you are capable of meeting my needs. I need someone who is on the same level of freaky as me, cause if you're not a freak, and not willing to do things that I'm used to having done to me then no we cannot be together.
 
metamorphose88 said:
Because sex is very important in a relationship and before I commit myself to you I need to know that you are capable of meeting my needs. I need someone who is on the same level of freaky as me, cause if you're not a freak, and not willing to do things that I'm used to having done to me then no we cannot be together.
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My cousin had gotten married, and now she wants OUT because she feels she is not satisfied with him sexually, ( other reasons as well) but they were not intimate beforehand so she is a little dissapointed now.
 
BriDa5242 said:
My cousin had gotten married, and now she wants OUT because she feels she is not satisfied with him sexually, ( other reasons as well) but they were not intimate beforehand so she is a little dissapointed now.
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Exactly. I'm not saying I screw everybody I meet but if I'm interested in having a relationship with someone I have to have sex with that person before I commit cause I cannot tolerate a SORRY sex life.
 
softblackcotton said:
Girl believe me I am in the same both except I'm 26 and a virgin and don't believe in sex with any man other than the man who is my husband (if I ever get married). What is point of having casual sex with all the diseases and risks of becoming pregnant/being used?
  • They have no self-control. They let their bodies think for them.
  • They don't think about the future and the consequences. Their mind-set is all HERE AND NOW.
  • They think everybody is doing it and they will be seen as a weirdo if they don't. Societal pressures.
  • They are trying to trap a man into a relationship, even though that hardly ever works even after the baby/babies are born.
  • They are impatient. Do not want to wait for the right person who will marry them and treat them right or they try to make every man they meet The One.
  • They don't care about themselves or their physical/mental well-being.
  • They think diseases or pregnancy will never happen to them.
  • They think SEX is the most important thing in a relationship.
  • Low self esteem, they've never known real affection and love, maybe fatherless, no good male role models in their lives and try to find it through sex with many men.
  • They feel sex is the only way they could really connect with a man.
  • They want a man by any means possible, even if he is not really their man. They rather have a piece of a man rather than no man.They consider him their man because they are having sex. You know those women/girls who consider every man they have been dating only a month or less their boyfriend. Ridiculous! etc. etc. etc.
ETA: Personally I HATE the idea of casual sex. It has really messed up true courtship which is what I want and makes it extremely hard to find a good guys. All these guys expect you to be in bed with them by the 3rd/4th date. I wish casual sex would DIE. :yep:
Click to expand...

Why so judgmental?

How do you think you can understand why anyone has sex when you are a virgin? :rolleyes: Fine one to talk about low self esteem.
 
softblackcotton said:
Girl believe me I am in the same both except I'm 26 and a virgin and don't believe in sex with any man other than the man who is my husband (if I ever get married). What is point of having casual sex with all the diseases and risks of becoming pregnant/being used?
  • They have no self-control. They let their bodies think for them.
  • They don't think about the future and the consequences. Their mind-set is all HERE AND NOW.
  • They think everybody is doing it and they will be seen as a weirdo if they don't. Societal pressures.
  • They are trying to trap a man into a relationship, even though that hardly ever works even after the baby/babies are born.
  • They are impatient. Do not want to wait for the right person who will marry them and treat them right or they try to make every man they meet The One.
  • They don't care about themselves or their physical/mental well-being.
  • They think diseases or pregnancy will never happen to them.
  • They think SEX is the most important thing in a relationship.
  • Low self esteem, they've never known real affection and love, maybe fatherless, no good male role models in their lives and try to find it through sex with many men.
  • They feel sex is the only way they could really connect with a man.
  • They want a man by any means possible, even if he is not really their man. They rather have a piece of a man rather than no man.They consider him their man because they are having sex. You know those women/girls who consider every man they have been dating only a month or less their boyfriend. Ridiculous! etc. etc. etc.
ETA: Personally I HATE the idea of casual sex. It has really messed up true courtship which is what I want and makes it extremely hard to find a good guys. All these guys expect you to be in bed with them by the 3rd/4th date. I wish casual sex would DIE. :yep:
Click to expand...

Very sweeping generalizations.
Those can be some women's reason's but not always. Let's not make blanket statements.
 
mischka said:
Why so judgmental?

How do you think you can understand why anyone has sex when you are a virgin? :rolleyes: Fine one to talk about low self esteem.
Click to expand...

I have nothing else to say but it's my opinion. You're judging me also. I didn't mean it personally to anyone. If you chose to take it personal, it's up to you.
 
Well if I'm judging you also, you should be able to take it considering how you randomly and incredibly harshly just made a ton of assumptions about something you literally have no familiarity with. I'm not taking anything personally, I just thought it was really lame, and it would have been even if you werent a virgin, but particularly so considering that you're a virgin :giggle:
 
lesedi said:
Very sweeping generalizations.
Those can be some women's reason's but not always. Let's not make blanket statements.
Click to expand...

People make blanket statements and sweeping generalizations about older virgins and people who still like to keep sex within marriage also. Even worst than people who engage in casual sex.
 
Softblackcotton, the women who harbor those things on your list are generally women who have issues that prevent them from having any real successes with intimacy, period. Not all women are that way. There are women who have it all together, but are really not interested in settling down with one man, but do enjoy male companionship, however instant or temporary it may be. It works for them and it really doesn't warrant such harsh accusations about their motivations, morals or self-esteem. It's called dating.
 
MissMasala5 said:
Softblackcotton, the women who harbor those things on your list are generally women who have issues that prevent them from having any real successes with intimacy, period. Not all women are that way. There are women who have it all together, but are really not interested in settling down with one man, but do enjoy male companionship, however instant or temporary it may be. It works for them and it really doesn't warrant such harsh accusations about their motivations, morals or self-esteem. It's called dating.
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I just feel that some people (men included) can't come to terms that some women love sex too!!!
 
To add to the discussion, I don't like it when women have sex mainly for the man in their lives to get off so whenever someone would tell me about their experiences I would give them the :sigh: face....which made people think I was trying to be virginal or above everyone else but I'm just rebellious and the type to resent the fact that people just don't like for a woman to be able to get off too....
 
Windsy said:
I just feel that some people (men included) can't come to terms that some women love sex too!!!
Click to expand...

Right. And I don't take issue with anyone who chooses to abstain until marriage, it's their choice and I commend that. Personally I haven't heard of any flack against those who do so, so not really sure what those generalizations are. What I do take issue with are people who act like something must be wrong with women who have HEALTHY active sex lives and aren't in LTRs or marriages. They tend to make good wives and LT partners if that's what they want, should they want it down the road.
 
Windsy said:
I just feel that some people (men included) can't come to terms that some women love sex too!!!
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This is so true!

When I was a virgin it was easier to just say no (I can say no now, just a more temptation). Its easier to hold back or not really crave what you never had.
 
janiebaby said:
To add to the discussion, I don't like it when women have sex mainly for the man in their lives to get off so whenever someone would tell me about their experiences I would give them the :sigh: face....which made people think I was trying to be virginal or above everyone else but I'm just rebellious and the type to resent the fact that people just don't like for a woman to be able to get off too....
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That's so oppressive :nono: And sadly, a reality in this day and age. Some women actually don't like sex and do it out of obligation and compromise. Sad.
 
janiebaby said:
To add to the discussion, I don't like it when women have sex mainly for the man in their lives to get off so whenever someone would tell me about their experiences I would give them the :sigh: face....which made people think I was trying to be virginal or above everyone else but I'm just rebellious and the type to resent the fact that people just don't like for a woman to be able to get off too....
Click to expand...


Sexual liberation is a beautiful thing....I wish more women would experience it.
 
MissMasala5 said:
Right. And I don't take issue with anyone who chooses to abstain until marriage, it's their choice and I commend that. Personally I haven't heard of any flack against those who do so, so not really sure what those generalizations are. What I do take issue with are people who act like something must be wrong with women who have HEALTHY active sex lives and aren't in LTRs or marriages. They tend to make good wives and LT partners if that's what they want, should they want it down the road.
Click to expand...


hence my response to her.....I've never heard it and quite frankly think its a wonderful concious choice!!!
 
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