What's so wrong with being natural?

K

kinkycurlyB

New Member
So Hi everyone, I'm a total lurker. I joined the forum about 2 months ago after lurking for a year. Well anyway, I was just talking to my momma and we were talking bout relaxers and being natural. Well she made a comment about black people dying to get relaxers when she was younger and that she doesn't understand why someone would want to be natural and "have a nappy bush on their head".:nono: I am a relaxed girl but I think natural hair is cute. What the hell is wrong with having nappy hair on your head. It's the hair God gave you so what is wrong with it. I'm seriously thinking about going natural just so I can have beautiful natural hair like many of you ladies on here and show her what being natural is all about.

Just a small rant and a introducing myself to LHCF.
 
Welcome to LHCF you will find a wealth of information here on natural hair...I really dislike the word nappy though.
Do you plan on transitioning to natural?
 
maybe you can show ya momma a type of beauty she may not recognize in herself... not her fault just the circumstance... It is time grasshoppa for you to teach the teacher...
 
Welcome to the forum this is a great place to learn and grow your hair and also many other great spots on the forum to check out. As to your question, nothing is wrong with being natural BUT I think I get your mom's point. I've been natural many years and in those years I've seen many natural headed women with "nappy hair" heck I was one at the very beginning. Now before I get a net-beatdown what "I" mean by nappy / my personal opinion because I know webster's and I just don't feel it fits is "unkept, uncared for, can't get a comb or fingers through it and actually is full of naps" to me that's when being natural is a problem, some women go natural but they really go nappy aka lazy. I mean I have 4a hair and kinda 3c but I've even seen 4b/c women without nappy hair meaning one can run their fingers through it, it's soft, and healthy so in short there's nothing wrong with being natural but I think hopefully your mom was referring to those who are more lazy than natural. I hope what I typed made sense and doesn't cause any confusion.
 
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Hello and:welcome3:to the board. I think our culture just needs to be reintroduced to our hair in order for all of us to embrace it.
 
welcome & there is nothing wrong w/ nappy hair. I like my nappy hair b/c it what came out of scalp. My mom doesn't understand neither & calls me a "village girl" every time she see it (i think she is secretly jealous). Anyways enough rambling and welcom again!
 
mslittlelala said:
Welcome to the forum this is a great place to learn and grow your hair and also many other great spots on the forum to check out. As to your question, nothing is wrong with being natural BUT I think I get your mom's point. I've been natural many years and in those years I've seen many natural headed women with "nappy hair" heck I was one at the very beginning. Now before I get a net-beatdown what "I" mean by nappy / my personal opinion is "unkept, uncared for, can't get a comb or fingers through it and actually is full of naps" to me that's when being natural is a problem, some women go natural but they really go nappy aka lazy. I mean I have 4a hair and kinda 3c but I've even seen 4b/c women without nappy hair meaning one can run their fingers through it, it's soft, and healthy so in short there's nothing wrong with being natural but I think hopefully your mom was referring to those who are more lazy than natural. I hope what I typed made sense and doesn't cause any confusion.
Click to expand...

You don't have to use personal opinion when you can get a clear definition.

My hair is nappy and I love it and it's never unkempt but it's always been nappy.

I can't wait to have long nappy hair!
 
WELCOME!!!!!

iluvJCW&hair said:
So Hi everyone, I'm a total lurker. I joined the forum about 2 months ago after lurking for a year. Well anyway, I was just talking to my momma and we were talking bout relaxers and being natural. Well she made a comment about black people dying to get relaxers when she was younger and that she doesn't understand why someone would want to be natural and "have a nappy bush on their head".:nono: I am a relaxed girl but I think natural hair is cute. What the hell is wrong with having nappy hair on your head. It's the hair God gave you so what is wrong with it. I'm seriously thinking about going natural just so I can have beautiful natural hair like many of you ladies on here and show her what being natural is all about.

Just a small rant and a introducing myself to LHCF.
Click to expand...
 
Nothing is wrong with natural hair. Nothing is wrong with relaxed hair. Everything is wrong with damaged hair. And an uneducated person with relaxed hair=damaged hair. I went from MBL relaxed, seemingly healthy hair to a TWA last year by choice. I am now a year and a month later with actual healthy hair that is natural---my hair looks and feels amazing.

Alot of it IMO relates to the desire to be "acceptable"---straight hair is safe and the norm. Natural hair is considered wild and untamed----it is thick, and coily, and can be a challenge to style or tame---or so we are taught to believe.

I love the versatility of natural hair and would not trade my texture for MBL straight hair(been there and done that). I want big, natural hair---Chaka Khan if I can get it...lol.

I was explaining to my GF that when I was relaxed, it was "pretty" girl hair---safe and sweet and cookie cutter. I could rollerset or flat iron or braid it out, but I kept it up with chopsticks 90% of the time---I feared damaging my ends and breakage was a battle I was always cognizant of. Now I have "sexy" hair---hair that is bold, powerful and distinct. I know it is just hair---but clearly it is more than that if we as African American women spend BILLIONS to grow it, protect it, keep it, style it.

Oh, lol....and welcome to the board :-)
 
mslittlelala said:
Welcome to the forum this is a great place to learn and grow your hair and also many other great spots on the forum to check out. As to your question, nothing is wrong with being natural BUT I think I get your mom's point. I've been natural many years and in those years I've seen many natural headed women with "nappy hair" heck I was one at the very beginning. Now before I get a net-beatdown what "I" mean by nappy / my personal opinion is "unkept, uncared for, can't get a comb or fingers through it and actually is full of naps" to me that's when being natural is a problem, some women go natural but they really go nappy aka lazy. I mean I have 4a hair and kinda 3c but I've even seen 4b/c women without nappy hair meaning one can run their fingers through it, it's soft, and healthy so in short there's nothing wrong with being natural but I think hopefully your mom was referring to those who are more lazy than natural. I hope what I typed made sense and doesn't cause any confusion.
Click to expand...

I think I know what you mean and will come to that in a bit*. First I do want to point out that to some of us "nappy" is not a word that means unkempt, uncared for, ugly or matted. I use the word nappy in the English sense of the word, which is nothing more than tightly coiled or curled. It is a synonym for kinky which also mean tightly coiled/curled. You can look it up if you like (www.onelook.com) and you will see most of the reputable sources do not consider the adjective "nappy" as derogatory.

The idea that nappy meant uncombed hair came from 400 years of slaves not having a comb--slaves who had 4B hair. Someone recently reposted the links on that and I will give them to you in a bit for your convenience. Basically, because anyone with "tightly coiled/curled" hair could not comb their hair when they landed in this foreign land coz no combs were made for that sort of hair and they didn't get to pack, then anyone with that sort of hair ended up with unkempt hair due to not having any means to groom it. In other words, if you had nappy hair, you had no way to groom it so it was not a nice thing to look at. So in time, having nappy hair became something no one wants to have. And in turn, the word "nappy" was inferred to mean "gross" when it really has the most innocent meaning in the world.

*Now you make a good point about nappy hair looking unkempt. I do agree that many people do not wear their nappy hair in ways that make it attractive. Laziness might be part of it--like Jay Z not combing his hair when I've seen it combed before--but it could also be not knowing how to care for 4B hair. Also type 3 hair is the sort of hair that has been worn natural in this country so much more than type 4 hair, so that type 3 styling methods are what's easily available. Some type 4 hair can duplicate those looks, but hair like mine will end up looking uncombed if I tried a WNG. Close up, I'd have very pretty coils but from far, it doesn't look combed. Add to that the fact that it doesn't reflect light like type 3 hair so doesn't shine as much and you can see how unless I embraced styles that work for my hair, I will get that funny look from those who don't really understand my hair.

My hubby liked my hair relaxed and wasn't too keen on 4B hair. But now he absolutely likes my hair. It was all in not understanding it and not believing it can grow and not seeing it worn in ways that brought out the beauty in it. Now he'd kill me if I dared relax, not that I want to. But he really appreciates my hair.

So I think it's all just a matter of educating folks and also exposing them to natural hair that looks beautiful, not because it is mimicking another type, but because it's actually exploring the many unique styles it's capable of.

OK, nuff rambling; here are the clips that shows you how "nappy" came to be viewed something to be dreaded and totally misunderstood to mean something negative:

400 Years Without a Comb
Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cMf1heTa6A
Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=winJvvYCS20
Part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvMvNgFJ8zU
Part 4: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRwLkS7W4oM
Part 5: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-FBFIA1Hks
Part 6: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbXLbZhivOM
 
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May the force be with you Nonie!

Thank you so much for this.

Nonie said:
I think I know what you mean and will come to that in a bit*. First I do want to point out that to some of us "nappy" is not a word that means unkempt, uncared for, ugly or matted. I use the word nappy in the English sense of the word, which is nothing more than tightly coiled or curled. It is a synonym for kinky which also mean tightly coiled/curled. You can look it up if you like (www.onelook.com) and you will see most of the reputable sources do not consider the adjective "nappy" as derogatory.

The idea that nappy meant uncombed hair came from 400 years of slaves not having a comb--slaves who had 4B hair. Someone recently reposted the links on that and I will give them to you in a bit for your convenience. Basically, because anyone with "tightly coiled/curled" hair could not comb their hair when they landed in this foreign land coz no combs were made for that sort of hair and they didn't get to pack, then anyone with that sort of hair ended up with unkempt hair due to not having any means to groom it. In other words, if you had nappy hair, you had no way to groom it so it was not a nice thing to look at. So in time, having nappy hair became something no one wants to have. And in turn, the word "nappy" was inferred to mean "gross" when it really has the most innocent meaning in the world.

*Now you make a good point about nappy hair looking unkempt. I do agree that many people do not wear their nappy hair in ways that make it attractive. Laziness might be part of it--like Jay Z not combing his hair when I've seen it combed before--but it could also be not knowing how to care for 4B hair. Also type 3 hair is the sort of hair that has been worn natural in this country so much more than type 4 hair, so that type 3 styling methods are what's easily available. Some type 4 hair can duplicate those looks, but hair like mine will end up looking uncombed if I tried a WNG. Close up, I'd have very pretty coils but from far, it doesn't look combed. Add to that the fact that it doesn't reflect light like type 3 hair so doesn't shine as much and you can see how unless I embraced styles that work for my hair, I will get that funny look from those who don't really understand my hair.

My hubby liked my hair relaxed and wasn't too keen on 4B hair. But now he absolutely likes my hair. It was all in not understanding it and not believing it can grow and not seeing it worn in ways that brought out the beauty in it. Now he'd kill me if I dared relax, not that I want to. But he really appreciates my hair.

So I think it's all just a matter of educating folks and also exposing them to natural hair that looks beautiful, not because it is mimicking another type, but because it's actually exploring the many unique styles it's capable of.

OK, nuff rambling; here are the clips that shows you how "nappy" came to be viewed something to be dreaded and totally misunderstood to mean something negative:

400 Years Without a Comb
Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cMf1heTa6A
Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=winJvvYCS20
Part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvMvNgFJ8zU
Part 4: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRwLkS7W4oM
Part 5: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-FBFIA1Hks
Part 6: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbXLbZhivOM
Click to expand...
 
ceebee3 said:
May the force be with you Nonie!
Thank you so much for this.
Click to expand...

Thank you, and may the force be with you too. :giggle:
darthvader_wideweb__470x365,0.jpg
 
sometimes clear definitions don't quite fit for me but thanks

ceebee3 said:
You don't have to use personal opinion when you can get a clear definition.

My hair is nappy and I love it and it's never unkempt but it's always been nappy.

I can't wait to have long nappy hair!
Click to expand...
 
I had a similar convo with my mom. You have to understand that they grew up in a different time and faced a lot more hardships based on race/hair/appearance than we did. In the past, I've callously made statements to my mom, judging how she and her generation treat race relations issues, and she put me in my place. My mom carries a lot of memories of growing up in the South with her, me preaching to her about natural hair isn't going to change her memories and her perspective......

.....and once when I tried, my mom called ME out about how I continue to relax my hair, so....how can I preach to her? The best way would be for me to show her, by transitioning, which I plan to do.

In the meantime, I try to respect her opinions and limit our conversations about hair care to "healthy hair" and not natural v. relaxed.

BTW, my mom wore a press 'n curl almost her whole life and didn't get a relaxer until she was an adult. She did relax my hair until I was a pre-teen and started asking for a relaxer.
 
Eh, different times for older women. They see things differently. It's as simple as that. You can't get too frustrated about it, because of each generation goes through different experiences and has varying perspectives. I'm sure your daughter, granddaughter, etc., etc. will feel differently on hair than you do. And so on, so forth. Circle of life! :)
 
Nothing to it but to do it baby girl. :yep: If you want natural, relaxed, texlaxed or something in between you have them all here to help you.

I say take the challenge and show those around you how beautiful natural can be and how pretty the hairstyles can be.

Welcome aboard! :yep:
 
Thanks a lot for posting I really found the vids enlightening still watching them. It reminds me of this movie I saw a slave called prince or something like that. It was a really deep movie. But thanks again for all the info greatly appreciate it. I was kinda thinking about perming in may but now I totally doubt I will it'll be doing the same thing, hiding me.

Nonie said:
I think I know what you mean and will come to that in a bit*. First I do want to point out that to some of us "nappy" is not a word that means unkempt, uncared for, ugly or matted. I use the word nappy in the English sense of the word, which is nothing more than tightly coiled or curled. It is a synonym for kinky which also mean tightly coiled/curled. You can look it up if you like (www.onelook.com) and you will see most of the reputable sources do not consider the adjective "nappy" as derogatory.

The idea that nappy meant uncombed hair came from 400 years of slaves not having a comb--slaves who had 4B hair. Someone recently reposted the links on that and I will give them to you in a bit for your convenience. Basically, because anyone with "tightly coiled/curled" hair could not comb their hair when they landed in this foreign land coz no combs were made for that sort of hair and they didn't get to pack, then anyone with that sort of hair ended up with unkempt hair due to not having any means to groom it. In other words, if you had nappy hair, you had no way to groom it so it was not a nice thing to look at. So in time, having nappy hair became something no one wants to have. And in turn, the word "nappy" was inferred to mean "gross" when it really has the most innocent meaning in the world.

*Now you make a good point about nappy hair looking unkempt. I do agree that many people do not wear their nappy hair in ways that make it attractive. Laziness might be part of it--like Jay Z not combing his hair when I've seen it combed before--but it could also be not knowing how to care for 4B hair. Also type 3 hair is the sort of hair that has been worn natural in this country so much more than type 4 hair, so that type 3 styling methods are what's easily available. Some type 4 hair can duplicate those looks, but hair like mine will end up looking uncombed if I tried a WNG. Close up, I'd have very pretty coils but from far, it doesn't look combed. Add to that the fact that it doesn't reflect light like type 3 hair so doesn't shine as much and you can see how unless I embraced styles that work for my hair, I will get that funny look from those who don't really understand my hair.

My hubby liked my hair relaxed and wasn't too keen on 4B hair. But now he absolutely likes my hair. It was all in not understanding it and not believing it can grow and not seeing it worn in ways that brought out the beauty in it. Now he'd kill me if I dared relax, not that I want to. But he really appreciates my hair.

So I think it's all just a matter of educating folks and also exposing them to natural hair that looks beautiful, not because it is mimicking another type, but because it's actually exploring the many unique styles it's capable of.

OK, nuff rambling; here are the clips that shows you how "nappy" came to be viewed something to be dreaded and totally misunderstood to mean something negative:

400 Years Without a Comb
Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cMf1heTa6A
Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=winJvvYCS20
Part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvMvNgFJ8zU
Part 4: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRwLkS7W4oM
Part 5: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-FBFIA1Hks
Part 6: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbXLbZhivOM
Click to expand...
 
Welcome to the Forum, hon! :yay:
I find I'm still not at ease with the word "nappy". I'm African, born and raised but from research the original meaning of nappy before describing hair was for the "napps"- the coarse, rough-feeling component that is removed from wool to make it soft and useable. That strikes me as still a negative comment. My hair is soft and beautiful and I won't ever personally refer to it with that term.
Enough rambling!
Welcome again! :woot:
 
lolascurls said:
Welcome to the Forum, hon! :yay:
I find I'm still not at ease with the word "nappy". I'm African, born and raised but from research the original meaning of nappy before describing hair was for the "napps"- the coarse, rough-feeling component that is removed from wool to make it soft and useable. That strikes me as still a negative comment. My hair is soft and beautiful and I won't ever personally refer to it with that term.
Enough rambling!
Welcome again! :woot:
Click to expand...

Where did you get that from? As far as I know, the etymology of the word nap is "noppe" which means a tuft of wool and doesn't bring to mind any roughness. And the definition of nap is all about softness as far as I can see.
(Reference 1; Reference 2; Reference 3; Reference 4)

ETA: In my search of wool processing, I also don't come across any use of the word nap (or even napps) as being a bad thing to be removed. I understand it as referring to wool that is plucked to create a raised surface or just the hair-like structure found on Suede or Nuback. (Reference 1; Reference 2; Reference 3)
 
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