What would you do...

While I'm curious as to what ol' dude has to say, I don't think I'd respond. He needs to do a lot more than that to come back to mama.
 
Unfortunately (honestly) I'd probably respond if I really wanted him back...
But I'd make sure he chased/pursued me before I open up my heart again.
 
If I were in that situation, it doesn't sound like I'm really interested in this person. I didn't call him back the first time. Then, when he faded away I wasn't even perturbed by it. Sounds like I feel just "eh" about this person, so I'd probably just be friendly and leave it at that. If I were still interested in dating him again, he would have to continually show that he's interested in reconnecting and I would take sex off the table and see if he sticks around without it.
 
I'd do nothing, leave him alone. Fading out and coming back is how they make you the "when I feel like it" girl. "Whenever I'm in the mood to be with her I know she'll jump up and be with me."

If he kept calling and calling even though I never answered and I realllllllllllly liked him, I would talk to him and hang out, but not be intimate with him again for a really long time, like super long. If I felt like I could trust him at that point and wanted to, I would be intimate again. If he faded away again, it would be over forever and I would never speak to him or return his calls again.
 
nicola.kirwan said:
If I were in that situation, it doesn't sound like I'm really interested in this person. I didn't call him back the first time. Then, when he faded away I wasn't even perturbed by it. Sounds like I feel just "eh" about this person, so I'd probably just be friendly and leave it at that. If I were still interested in dating him again, he would have to continually show that he's interested in reconnecting and I would take sex off the table and see if he sticks around without it.
Click to expand...

I wasn't feeling him initially, then I really started to like him. Things abruptly ended and pride and my head said just leave it alone. Then he randomly called. I know me. I have a really smart mouth, so I'm just going to leave this one alone. We'll see what happens.
Thanks though.
 
imaccami said:
I'd do nothing, leave him alone. Fading out and coming back is how they make you the "when I feel like it" girl. "Whenever I'm in the mood to be with her I know she'll jump up and be with me."

If he kept calling and calling even though I never answered and I realllllllllllly liked him, I would talk to him and hang out, but not be intimate with him again for a really long time, like super long. If I felt like I could trust him at that point and wanted to, I would be intimate again. If he faded away again, it would be over forever and I would never speak to him or return his calls again.
Click to expand...

I think I'm going to follow your advice. I did things arse backwards, was wayyyy open, and caught feelings too quickly. My feelings and pride got hurt so I'm just going to leave this alone. If he calls again, he calls. But I'm not going to stress over it anymore.
Thanks for the advice.
 
ShortyDooWhop said:
I think I'm going to follow your advice. I did things arse backwards, was wayyyy open, and caught feelings too quickly. My feelings and pride got hurt so I'm just going to leave this alone. If he calls again, he calls. But I'm not going to stress over it anymore.

Thanks for the advice.
Click to expand...

I don't think you did anything wrong, the only thing I would change (and I'm sincerely not judging you at all) is I would've waited longer to have sex. Like a few more months, that doesn't sound like long enough to make a difference, but in my personal opinion it does.

Maybe he faded away because of that, maybe he left for other reasons. His loss either way. But don't feel that you have to be cold or closed off in the beginning, you were vibing with him and it showed, there's nothing wrong with that.

If he calls again, he calls. But I'm not going to stress over it anymore.
Click to expand...


I think this is a really good way to approach it. :yep: Don't worry about him, if it works with him, great. If it doesn't, you'll find someone better.
 
Keep it moving because if he was truly interested things wouldn't have dried up in the first place. He showed his level of intent, now if that level meets yours then hit him up.
 
truth be told, if it were me, it depends on if the sex was good. If da sex was like dat, then yeah, i'd give him a call to see wassup because it seems to me that it was based on sex. no relationship was established. I understand you caught feelings, but you were hurt because things ended abruptly and you probably tried to call him after the fact and he didn't return the call. now, months later he's calling again. no love lost.

so yeah, now that you're over it, no need in being salty about it. i would be very nice and see what he has to say. you don't have to ask him where he's been because he's going to volunteer that out of guilt because the way things kinda "fell off."

think about it...your in a good position because the ball is in your court (because he's calling you now) and you have the control, so you can dribble his azzz anyway you like. so don't be mad. be smart and have fun :)

when you talk to him, let him know by your answers that you've moved on and that you have a life too, and that you weren't stuck on stupid and broke down on dumb ova him.

i've said it before and I will say it again, I DONT CARE HOW LONG IT TAKES, DAYS, MONTHS, YEARS, THEY ALWAYS CALL BACK!

Play on playa....
 
Were you holding up your end of the relationship or was it that he had to do all the work, calling etc.? He maybe got tired of having to be the one trying to make the relationship work however is thinking about giving it a shot again.

I think it's up to you to decide whether or not you want to pursue something with him again and determine what can be done to make the relationship workable. Other than that, let it go.
 
That's what makes me want to tell him to kick rocks. I've always felt that if a man really wants you, he will express his interest and go out of his way to let you know that he wants you. That didn't happen and honestly, there was a shift and I was acting out of character, or my character at least. A part of me wants to know what happened but a bigger part feels like his actions spoke volumes.
 
I don't know what "my end of the relationship" means. I responded to the calls, made myself accessible, etc. There was a point where he casually mentioned an activity/event and I told him i'd let him know. I ended up calling later and telling him that I couldn't make it (mind you I'd been up til the wee hours of the am chatting with him on the phone and had an exhausting day), things kinda changed from that point; he missed a date, then he slowly faded. He stopped asking me to go out, then communication became strained and stopped completely. Now, he randomly calls and I am honestly conflicted about what I want to do. Every possible response that I've formulated mentally is snarky and just sharp. So I've decided to not respond.
 
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