What Would You Do If Oh Exchanged Naked Pics ...

I would think something was wrong with him -- that he had some type of paraphilia. I would have to think about it but breakup/divorce would be on my mind.
 
What was he receiving through masturbating in this manner that I wasn't able to provide sexually?

No lie this would be a huge blow to my sexual self esteem. As a Scorpio I have a sense of pride of being sexually pleasing and satisfying. I wouldn't be able to trust I truly satisfied his needs so I would have to leave...
 
To me this is grounds for divorce. This is a glaring red flag of what's to come. I can sooo see the woman saying months or years down the line..."I shoulda left his arse when I caught him doing this ish in the first place....now look at the mess I'm in" Uggh...no thanks. The sympathizers can have him.
 
TayMac said:
I'd have a lot more questions that need to be answered first.
Click to expand...

This.

I long stopped being involved in friends personal ihst cause the perpetual drama queens always leave out pertinent information. If after all the wailing it comes out that you've have him on the couch and he hasn't gotten any from you in months I will side eye the hell out of you. I don't know what situation is with OP so I'm not referring to her. I've just seen far too many women think that once they have a ring their husband has to put up with not getting any as if the piece of paper covers their inattention to their partners physical needs.

Chronic offender put him out. You know you haven't been intimate since Valentines Day then check yourself before he graduates from self coloring and meets up with willing partner in person.
 
It would depend. Is that all he is doing? If so and he's very apologetic then there would be a lot that would need to be done to repair our relationship. It can be repaired but work will have to be done. The bulk by him. When I say work, I mean counseling both spiritually and otherwise. He would have to show that he values our relationship. We would have to open up our communication etc. Basically he would have to do a lot of "relationship - work" things that men typically hate. Hell, we may even have to go on a couple of couples' retreats.

By the time we're finished "working on our relationship", I don't think he'd want to have another affair unless he's prepared to leave at the same time.
 
Ok so what if you find out he had sex with the person a few times ,oral included (to her ) ,and tried to have more but changed his mind and decided to be faithful ?
 
ChasingBliss said:
To me this is grounds for divorce. This is a glaring red flag of what's to come. I can sooo see the woman saying months or years down the line..."I shoulda left his arse when I caught him doing this ish in the first place....now look at the mess I'm in" Uggh...no thanks. The sympathizers can have him.
Click to expand...

This.

Because:
- the husband didn't trust you enough or didn't feel open enough to discuss sexual preferences or satisfaction within the relationship
- For some, mainly men who are visually driven, the internet can be full of addiction and stopping is not so easy
- As a husband, for the health of the marriage, he should be making sure you feel secure in your physical appearances and sexual confidence, this completely undermines that due to the secrecy of it.

Between the secrecy, the lack of trust, and the fact that it has already gone physical it is a problem that the wife can't solve. This is his issue, something in him is empty that it got that far and he risked his family and health. Maybe not divorce, but he needs some space to figure his life out. The wife needs to separate and heal herself and deal with the feelings of betrayal while he works it out. Pray for each other but other than that you can't force someone to get right. While it would be freaky, if the wife knew ahead of time and was ok with an open relationship it wouldnt be that bad.
 
Kindheart said:
Ok so what if you find out he had sex with the person a few times ,oral included (to her ) ,and tried to have more but changed his mind and decided to be faithful ?
Click to expand...

The thought makes me livid. I could forgive I'm sure but I highly, highly doubt the relationship could be repaired.
 
I don't think it's easy for a man to engage in oral sex (he has already crossed the line of no return) and refrain from inserting into the woman. I believe that's the story he gave in order to keep the wife calm. At this point the wife is desperate for any bit of good news, so her hearing that the husband didn't finish the deal is probably enough to reel her in so she does not go completely bonkers. Deep down she knows better, but wants some glimmer of hope, so she accepts the story.

All this to say, that we'd be through.
 
If we had no kids and I could maintain a decent lifestyle without him then I would leave immediately. Disappear to a next city and start over.

If we had kids and I was financially dependent on him and he was a good provider and not a serial cheater I would get counselling (wear condoms and no kissing) but in the mean time start preparing to make myself financially independent so that if it happens again i can split and get a good lawyer.


If he was a serial cheater and I was financially dependent on him I would immediately get a good lawyer.
 
Or he could be a freak who is obsessed with sucking pussy.
SweetNic_JA said:
I don't think it's easy for a man to engage in oral sex (he has already crossed the line of no return) and refrain from inserting into the woman. I believe that's the story he gave in order to keep the wife calm. At this point the wife is desperate for any bit of good news, so her hearing that the husband didn't finish the deal is probably enough to reel her in so she does not go completely bonkers. Deep down she knows better, but wants some glimmer of hope, so she accepts the story.

All this to say, that we'd be through.
Click to expand...
 
GeorginaSparks said:
hope this isnt you OP. if it is you're asking too many questions and should be on your way out of this situation.
Click to expand...
Not my story but someone close to me . I can relate to an extent.
I agree with not being able to forgive him ,to me the oral sex is worse than the sex especially knowing the woman had an orgasm and he had his mouth right there. *shivers* that ,to me,it's just unforgivable . On top of that continuing with pics and skyping ..no remorse whatsoever.
 
Online masturbatory behavior is not cheating to me. what I look like mad at computer boning? What i'ma do cuss out the keyboard?

The second scenario where body fluids have been exchanged is a problem.
 
Kindheart said:
Not my story but someone close to me . I can relate to an extent.
I agree with not being able to forgive him ,to me the oral sex is worse than the sex especially knowing the woman had an orgasm and he had his mouth right there. *shivers* that ,to me,it's just unforgivable . On top of that continuing with pics and skyping ..no remorse whatsoever.
Click to expand...

Please give the full story if you want comments. The bits and pieces changes the response. The way you're parceling out information makes me wonder what her your friends role in this all was. One thing I've learned is to fall back on giving advice based on what I would do because what folks claim in front of friends and what they are doing behind closed doors are two different things.

Your last response is due to your personal value on oral sex. While it used to be that oral was viewed as something you only did with someone you were truly intimate with it seems these days for some its been put ahead of actual coloring. That's how you have girls wearing purity rings while doing alternate activities that would make their parents faint dead away.

The issue is not what act is or isn't forgivable. The issue is what was or wasn't going on at home before he made choice to step out. In the end he made a choice. Now they both have to deal with the fall out. Either way if you don't ask the right question you will never get the right answer or be able to analyze the true problem.
 
The details of this were found in his email inbox ,I don't have any additional infos to be honest . I just find oral sex very intimate ,I couldn't forgive .
 
But this is not keeping a pornography catalogue or perusing pornography sites. He is actively engaging this woman. They are exchanging pictures and masturbating together. Like video chat, "do it the way daddy likes" shiiid.

HoW could you trust him? What if video masturbating is not enough for them? What if he is giving it to you and imagining her? I mean you are flesh and you are not enough for his ego. Take it from me, who went through something similar, it eats away at your security. I am posing these questions now, because if it continues these are the very questions that will eat away at your spirit. Is he worth, because he is saying you are not enough.

My ex husband said "happy mother's day" to a mafia war "friend" and went the whole day without speaking to me... did she push out your son? My present stiff tissues in the trash and excuses... i am going to give the same advise LHCF gave me and I did not listen, thought it was my problem to fix, it is not, he is just a punk...run, do not walk, do not pass go, do not collect $200... run...
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

HanaKuroi
What would you do if ....
Replies
22
Views
3K
JJamiah
JJamiah
Irresistible
WHAT IF??
Replies
1
Views
932
juju
juju
chebaby
naturals, what would you do if...
2
Replies
31
Views
3K
BlackMasterPiece
BlackMasterPiece
L
What Would You Do??
Replies
7
Views
851
L.Brown1114
L
I
If you had my hair what would you do?
Replies
16
Views
1K
inthepink
I
Back
Top