WHAT TO DO?

[Ms. Vea]

HAVE ANY OF YOU LADIES EVER HAD SOMEONE THAT YOU FELT WAS THE MIRROR TO YOUR SOUL AND YOU LOVED THEM WITHOUT ANY LIMITS BUT JUST COULDNT LET YOURSELF GO? I HAVE A MAN THAT I WAS WITH 9 YRS AGO WE DIDNT HAVE A BAD BREAK UP OR ANYTHING WE JUST LOST TOUCH WELL HE HAS RESURFACED BACK INTO MY LIFE AND WE JUST PICKED UP RIGHT WHERE WE LEFT OFF. HE WANTS TO BE WITH ME HE SAYS ALL THE RIGHT THINGS BUT I DONT BELIEVE HIM I DONT TRUST HIM AND HE HAS GIVEN ME ANY REASON NOT TO IT IS JUST HOW I VIEW MEN. I KNOW THAT I HAVE BEEN PUSHING HIM AWAY AND IT IS NOT MY INTENTION...........BUT I HAVE BEEN HURT MORE TIMES THEN I CARE TO MENTION AND I AM JUST AFRAID IF I LET MYSELF GO AND GIVE HIM ALL OF ME THAT IT WILL END UP LIKE THE PAST RELATIONSHIPS I WAS IN. SO MY QUESTION IS WHAT SHOULD I DO?

 

[ixoyegodisgood]

I'd go out on a date with him. Nothing to lose. Go with the flow and listen to your gut.

 

[Mai Tai]

deleted...

 

[awhyley]

"We just lost touch . . . " I'm finding this part strange. I don't know what to tell you.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

HAVE ANY OF YOU LADIES EVER HAD SOMEONE THAT YOU FELT WAS THE MIRROR TO YOUR SOUL AND YOU LOVED THEM WITHOUT ANY LIMITS BUT JUST COULDNT LET YOURSELF GO? I HAVE A MAN THAT I WAS WITH 9 YRS AGO WE DIDNT HAVE A BAD BREAK UP OR ANYTHING WE JUST LOST TOUCH WELL HE HAS RESURFACED BACK INTO MY LIFE AND WE JUST PICKED UP RIGHT WHERE WE LEFT OFF. HE WANTS TO BE WITH ME HE SAYS ALL THE RIGHT THINGS BUT I DONT BELIEVE HIM I DONT TRUST HIM AND HE HAS GIVEN ME ANY REASON NOT TO IT IS JUST HOW I VIEW MEN. I KNOW THAT I HAVE BEEN PUSHING HIM AWAY AND IT IS NOT MY INTENTION...........BUT I HAVE BEEN HURT MORE TIMES THEN I CARE TO MENTION AND I AM JUST AFRAID IF I LET MYSELF GO AND GIVE HIM ALL OF ME THAT IT WILL END UP LIKE THE PAST RELATIONSHIPS I WAS IN. SO MY QUESTION IS WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Well, first of all you might want to take off the caps-lock from your computer if you can, because to some online, all-caps can come across as shouting. JMHO

Anyway in re: to your question....

I'm wondering, why did you two lose touch? What happened?

Ordinarily, I would say that if your gut is giving you a feeling of not trusting him, then maybe you should pay attention to that feeling....but seeing as how you said that you feel this way towards ALL men, then maybe in your circumstance it might be different. Personally, If he's not giving you any cause to be distrusting of him, then if I were you I would try to sit back, relax, and just enjoy the ride! Enjoy the "getting-to-know-you" stage.

You'll know soon enough if he's not the one for you. If you're attracted to him, and you like his attention, then I see nothing wrong with giving him a chance, and letting him show you why you should spend your time w/him. Allow him to pursue you. You can get to know someone without giving your heart to them. In the beginning stages it's always good to look at the situation objectively.

 

[Murjani]

I really don't see a point in pursuing this if you are not ready. You will be wasting his time, because of your baggage. I think you need to get yourself together first then consider pursuing a relationship. As we all know you can not expect a relationship to grow when it is born out of fear and lack of trust.

 

[luvulongtime]

Hi Ms.Vea, I agree with what Murjani is saying and it is so true. Right now I could have a very passionate relationship with more than one man. And I want to, I want to be loved and hold hands, and hug and kiss and just be intimate with somone and I want to call someone "my man" BUT I am just not ready. I am emotionally traumatized by the things I've been through in past relationships. I don't trust men as far as I can throw them and it doesn't matter how sweet they are, and how much of the right things they say....like a vampire, I am just WAITING for them to change. Thats baggage, thats emotional baggage. If this is anything like the way you feel them take time to Heal, Grow, Learn who you are until you are open to love. And you will know when!

 

[HoneyA]

HAVE ANY OF YOU LADIES EVER HAD SOMEONE THAT YOU FELT WAS THE MIRROR TO YOUR SOUL AND YOU LOVED THEM WITHOUT ANY LIMITS BUT JUST COULDNT LET YOURSELF GO? I HAVE A MAN THAT I WAS WITH 9 YRS AGO WE DIDNT HAVE A BAD BREAK UP OR ANYTHING WE JUST LOST TOUCH WELL HE HAS RESURFACED BACK INTO MY LIFE AND WE JUST PICKED UP RIGHT WHERE WE LEFT OFF. HE WANTS TO BE WITH ME HE SAYS ALL THE RIGHT THINGS BUT I DONT BELIEVE HIM I DONT TRUST HIM AND HE HAS GIVEN ME ANY REASON NOT TO IT IS JUST HOW I VIEW MEN. I KNOW THAT I HAVE BEEN PUSHING HIM AWAY AND IT IS NOT MY INTENTION...........BUT I HAVE BEEN HURT MORE TIMES THEN I CARE TO MENTION AND I AM JUST AFRAID IF I LET MYSELF GO AND GIVE HIM ALL OF ME THAT IT WILL END UP LIKE THE PAST RELATIONSHIPS I WAS IN. SO MY QUESTION IS WHAT SHOULD I DO?

This is what will hold you back and keep you from the relationship you truly deserve whether with him or some other. Whatever vibes you put out you will get back. Be positive about what you want and go out on a date with him. Don't shoot yourself in the foot with fear of the past. Let it go.