What to do?! (Slightly long... Sorry)

[SavannahNatural]

I broke up with the man I knew was going to be my husband...

During the course of our relationship we wined and dined. We were in the process of relocating and during one of our visits to his family decided to leave the extra stuff we had purchased at his relatives house, until the final move.

Fast Forward to that relationship becoming rocky and me asking him to have my belongings sent to me, postage paid by me. For whatever reason it kept getting pushed back and pushed back. No problem, we aren't bitter or angry and there's no ill will, so I'm not concerned.

Finally the relationship ends and he says he's going to send me my things... Great!

I got a few boxes sent by him another sent by his relatives. I'm expecting the box by his relatives to be huge, but it's not. It's quite small for all that we purchased.

I open the box to find that his family has donated a great portion of the items I left at their residence and have provided me with the receipt... I had talked to them prior to my items being sent to me, and their was no mention of the generous donation on my behalf. What do I do?

If I'm honest, I'm slightly a materialistic person. My life is fashion and style, and now I'm out about 8 pairs of shoes, numerous dresses, and so on and so forth.

I went on and just forgot about the stuff, out of sight out of mind, however when I see something that reminds me of something I bought during that trip, I start to mentally go through the things that I no longer have.

It just won't stay out of my mind!

 

[-PYT]

I say this is a perfect case for Judge Judy or a civil case at least. you have the receipts and the proof of what you were sent. Don't be booboo the fool who got screwed over. best wishes, girl.

 

[Renewed1]

Wait girl, they GAVE AWAY YOUR SHOES!!! Oh hecky naw!!!

I would give the ex and his family an opportunity to give me money for the things they "donated" with a time limit.

Once that time limit expires, because they won't pay, I would sue them.

I've been in something similar (but very different), to this day I regret not suing my ex. I was out of $4k.

You no longer have those things to "remind" you of the relationship. But you should have the money to buy new and better things.

 

[hopeful]

If it's under a grand I'd let it go. If you pursue it I think you will still end up paying for the items in stress and frustration. Consider it a lesson learned and move on. Have you tried asking your ex to repay you for what was donated? If that's out of the question I would let it go. I'm sorry that happened and I love my pretty shoes, but I love my peace of mind more.

 

[firecracker]

Wow they had some nerves. Heck if you really want your stuff replaced sue em. Choose your battles. Some folks ain't worth the energy. I had to learn that my damn self in 2010. I know its hard sometimes but maybe you can use this as an excuse to go shopping for more bad arse shoes etc.

 

[ThickHair]

I say let it go. You can replace everything. To me, you trying to sue would look like your are longing for the relationship and what better way to get at "them" then to sue.

If you must, then you must, but I would see it as a small prize at being done with your ex.

I am speaking from the POV of being a divorcee' and my ex took a few things that I felt belonged to me, but in the grand scheme of them I don't even miss them, plus I replaced somethings with better items and some better items were "given" to me.

 

[ambergirl]

Just wow at the family. Sounds like you escaped some nightmare relatives in law.

I would be hot too but probably best to just walk away.

By the way did you say something to your ex about this?

 

[caltron]

Another vote for "just walk away". Put that energy into finding a better relationship.

 

[VelvetRain]

Another vote for "just walk away". Put that energy into finding a better relationship.

Exactlly or better yet wait on that and heal from this broken relationship before seeking out another one. Sounds like OP is still emotionally strained and vested in this broken relationship. I would just like it ride and eventually replace all of those items. Material things like hopeful said does not trump your peace of mind. Why start with foolishness in the beginning of 2012.

 

[SavannahNatural]

VelvetRain, caltron, ambergirl, ThickHair, firecracker, hopeful, MarriageMaterial, PYT

I really appreciate all the feedback! I was contemplating on going the small claims route, but despite the situation his family was/is amazing! Our families got along beautifully, and they took each of us in warmly and openly!

I am still going through the emotional trauma of a failed relationship, but I'm getting passed it.

For all who mentioned monetary means it was 2000+ (we did a lot of shopping), but it's not about the money, and I'm surely not going to waste another minute thinking about all that was lost!

The strong words of encouragement are greatly appreciated! Off to "Do Me"!

 

[ThickHair]

@blcbuty@ Everything will be returned to you tenfold.

 

[*CherryPie*]

You think that his family is STILL amazing after what they did to you.erplexed

It doesn't seem like they even like you. Sometimes, folk's family will like you as long as you're with their family member. This is what it seems is happening here.

I really appreciate all the feedback! I was contemplating on going the small claims route, but despite the situation his family was/is amazing! Our families got along beautifully, and they took each of us in warmly and openly!

I am still going through the emotional trauma of a failed relationship, but I'm getting passed it.

For all who mentioned monetary means it was 2000+ (we did a lot of shopping), but it's not about the money, and I'm surely not going to waste another minute thinking about all that was lost!

The strong words of encouragement are greatly appreciated! Off to "Do Me"!

 

[Xavier]

How do you still think his family is so great if they "donated" your items without your permission!?! I just don't get it. They were trying to be malicious towards you but decided to donate your items to charity to soften the blow.

I say, let it go. But I would have questioned there behavior after finding that receipt. They have some nerve.

 

[Browndilocks]

2Gs is what, a purse and maybe 2 pair of higher end shoes. I'd leave it alone. More room for bigger and better. I'd see to it that he'd/they'd never hear from me again, and make a note to myself to never leave valuables in anyone else's care except my own.

 

[HauteHippie]

You think that his family is STILL amazing after what they did to you.erplexed

It doesn't seem like they even like you. Sometimes, folk's family will like you as long as you're with their family member. This is what it seems is happening here.

I disagree. I could totally see my ex's family doing this (the one I almost married) and they are truly amazing, wonderful people. His mom owned a law firm. They'd think it was great it's since it's tax time and yay, I can buy new stuff. Plus, it's less to ship! Though, I'd probably think omg, I got those 900 dollar shoes on a major sale and now I can only replace a third of what I'd had!

 

[*CherryPie*]

Girl, that sounds crazy!

I don't care how much law they know.erplexed

I'm beginning to question your thinking now....

I disagree. I could totally see my ex's family doing this (the one I almost married) and they are truly amazing, wonderful people. His mom owned a law firm. They'd think it was great it's since it's tax time and yay, I can buy new stuff. Plus, it's less to ship! Though, I'd probably think omg, I got those 900 dollar shoes on a major sale and now I can only replace a third of what I'd had!

 

[HauteHippie]

Girl, that sounds crazy!

I don't care how much law they know.erplexed

I'm beginning to question your thinking now....

Yes... that sounds crazy to some people. Point is, it wouldn't be crazy to them. To them it is logical.

Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using T-Mobile G2

 

[NYAmicas]

What's the issue? Sounds like this is more about the end of the relationship than the items and that can only be helped with prayers, good friends and family to support you, and prayer.

 

[YasashiiSekai]

Sounds like he and his whole family are losers.

 

[sky_blu]

WTH!? Oh hayle nah! They donated you're stuff without your permission, when you were paying shipping to get it to you. Mmmh no. I wouldn't consider myself materialistic BUT WTH they do that at and its cool? I would be pissed if someone gave my stuff away without my permission. I don't make that much money where donations would make a difference by writing it off on my taxes SMH.