I can only speak for myself. I grew up in an environment of constant screaming and was molested by 2 family acquaintances. Years of bad experiences can numb you to other serious problems[you are literally taken out of yourself], so when the first signs show up, you don't even realize it's as bad as it is.
I'm an animal lover and in the heat of an argument while we were driving, my ex ran over a dog crossing the street. Intentionally. I was shaken for a few weeks about it, but it didn't dawn on me until years later, that this kind of psychopathic act was a precursor to eventual violence against a human.
When you're not in touch with yourself, it becomes really surprising how much you'll put up with. From personal experience, United Way is a crock of #%&* (I asked for their help and was given the runaround) BUT I did see a good video they produced -- a woman said that she was married 11 years and her spouse didn't start beating her until the 10th year. I think it can sneak up on you if you're not respecting yourself. The sad part is even when you have the means to leave, your beliefs are what keeps you there.
And yes, I lived in a state that was notorious for restraining orders simply announcing who had killed the woman that requested it. But, I'm living proof that it's never too late to try to get out. Thanks for posting this-the recap helped me sort some things out. I hope it helps someone else too.
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