What Is Your Timeline?

[*SkolarStar*]

I'm curious about how long people wait before having sex, getting into a relationship, getting married, having children, etc.

General example (I'm not in a relationship): We met and dated for 5 months before making it official. Had sex on the 1st day of month 5. Was together for 3 years and then got engaged. A child came 1 year later.

If you're not in a relationship, what do you imagine your timeline to be? Do you think you'll stick to it?

For those in a relationship, did you have a timeline? Did you stick to it? If you didn't, why did it change?

I feel stuck in a meantime place and I'm just curious on what others do.

 

[MzLady78]

I don't believe in timelines for any of those things. Maybe I did once upon a time, but life is just too unpredictable to me now to put that kind of pressure on myself.

I realize that having kids is the one thing that's kind of time sensitive but I'm still on the fence about wanting any, and I'm also not opposed to adopting. So I'm not super concerned about that.

 

[SuchaLady]

When I was 22 and under (and I'm still less than 25 ) I could've broken that down exactly the way you asked. Now? Girl

 

[LeftRightRepeat]

i agree. the timeline thing is hard. I've been married a while but if single i don't think that i would wait 5 months to do the deed. that sounds like a long time to wait (for me...i understand that other people have their own timelines) if i had chemistry with someone.

 

[LiftedUp]

We became official after the 2nd date which was prob after 1 month

We decides no sex till marriage from the inception so no timeline there

Engagement is next year and marriage the following year

We are both calculating. He's way more than I am though lol.

 

[RocStar]

No...Timelines don't usually work in real life. Life is more fluid and unpredictable than that.

 

[LovelyRo]

I'm 34... Whatever timeline I had has passed!

 

[movingforward]

I'm celibate until marriage. As for getting engaged under a year.

 

[GeorginaSparks]

What? Go with the flow and do whatever you're comfortable with.

 

[Oasis]

ive never had a timeline. that seems dumb to me. i just do what feels right when it feels right.

the only thing that im hardcore on is marriage before babies.

 

[awhyley]

I never had a timeline, but I can't help but wonder if things would have been different if I had.

 

[movingforward]

ive never had a timeline. that seems dumb to me. i just do what feels right when it feels right.

the only thing that im hardcore on is marriage before babies.

Yes to the bold!! I had various women make fun of me over the years; due to this philosophy.

Granted I'm 39 and childless. But I have no desire to raise children by myself.

 

[LiftedUp]

Why would a woman go in a relationship though, where the man doesn't tell you his intentions up front? Does it just go on and on and if he happens to propose then yay?

I'm not that hyped on getting married, however, I've never been in a serious relationship where the prospect of marriage and when it would occur wasn't discussed.

I am however, the type of woman who if not volunteered, will ask all that I need to know before becoming exclusive . Fortunately my guy made his intentions clear early on

 

[UmSumayyah]

First contact to wedding day was 17 months.

Should I ever need to get married again, I would intentionally plan for about the same. I was too old to play games in my early twenties, and I'm certainly too old to play games now.

 

[Duchesse]

I have a loose timeline. At my age and with the desire to be married, 3 months maximum upon initial dating until we either cut our losses and deuce, or we are "exclusive". After that, I can't see myself going further than up to month 9 without having some concrete conversations about further desires for engagement/marriage.

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

In my early 20s, I had a strict timeline. In my late 20s, I know I'm looking for exclusivity within 1-2 months or I'm out, and discussions of marriage/children (in that order) no later than a year in dating. But other than that, ain't nobody got time for that!

 

[DarkJoy]

I will have sex whenever I damn well feel like it.

For committment, Every man I met who was serious locked it down within weeks. Marriage talk before 6 months. Proposals around the year mark.

Thats not my timeline but a guideline based on experience. So based on that, If dude is dallying after a cpl months and dont lock it, hes just a toy .

 

[B_Phlyy]

Before I was allowed to start dating, I just knew my timeline would be met and fall in love at 21, engaged and married by 25, 2 kids and possible pregnancy with 3rd before age 30.

Now I'm 29, have been engaged for 10 months (exclusive for 2 years before he proposed), getting married and having a baby in 2016. Wasn't the easiest timeline to get through, but FH is worth it.

 

[HappyMadison]

From an admitted non-traditionalist:
I'm curious about how long people wait before having sex?
Whenever that spirit hits me lol. I have a check and balance, because I am self conscious about perception. I can sexually be too much, so I try to pace myself. I tend to take things slow until the cat can no longer be caged. A month perhaps. My five year relationship was on the first date...

getting into a relationship?
As soon as we meet. I have vetted you already. I don't endure tomfoolery. You should have a health fear of loss already. If I am not something you are pursuing, next...

getting married? Married once after courting for 3 months. Married for seven years. Not advisable.
having children: when it was financially viable. That was the only factor. So about a year. In hindsight, I wish i had my own resources instead of counting us as a unit. That made divorce hard and mess. I should have thought in my self interest. Nothing is promised, no matter how hard you work at it. Always have a fail safe.

If you're not in a relationship, what do you imagine your timeline to be? Do you think you'll stick to it?
I just really in no rush. I want to build a stronger sense of self for the return of the chosen one lol. If he doesn't come back at least I will be happy in my own skin. My love interest have been within my circle of aqauintances. Dangerous game. I already have two songs inspired by me lol.

For those in a relationship, did you have a timeline? Did you stick to it? If you didn't, why did it change?

I have always been fluid. That is my problem sometimes. I am not aggressive so we end up like what are we doing here. My motto is it is what it is, let's just sit at this table until love is no longer being served, if it progresses into marriage, family, children, yea??? Lol

 

[CaraWalker]

the only timeline rule I have is that im not staying monogamous after a year if this isnt a marriage bound relationship.

when it comes to sex and/or exclusivity I couldnt make it happen at a certain time because how am I going to try to predict how my feelings for someone develop? my ex and I dated for months before doing a relationship and it was extra because I had doubts. I cant force the way my life develops to fit into a timeline like that.

I keep hoping ill be ready for a marriage type life but I just have had such limited interest in men and relationships the last few years. my mind is not right for any kind of serious plan at all. I keep trying to get some enthusiasm about it but for now its just much easier for me to keep things at a distance. im not ready to take up the entire task of finding a husband... I wish I was though.

 

[God_Favor]

That thing passed me 8 years ago. Now, my timeline is hopefully before I die...

 

[PeaceLover]

Sex comes when it feels right after monogamy. I'm not staying in a committed relationship for longer than 2 years without a ring.