What is Your Age Gap?

[TinyBlu]

Just curious...

Lately I have had several younger men express interest in me, and I am really not feeling it.

However, I just read "The Conversation" by Hill Harper (with his fine self), and I am starting to wonder if that's something I need to reconsider. I am definitely guilty of having "THE LIST" and I am still single, so maybe I need to relax some of my standards.

I would definitely prefer an older man, but I have taken the time to talk to and have lunch with one of the younger guys (7 years younger), and he is surprisingly more mature than I would have thought.

Help a sista out... how young is too young?

 

[aribell]

I think it depends on how old you are and whether you all are in the same general stage of life. I think 7 years in your 20s would be a lot more iffy than 7 years in your 30s or above.

 

[RegaLady]

Interesting! Dh is 9 years older than me. I have always said I like them older (between 5-15 years older than me)and could never see myself with a younger man. I even asked my mother whose in her 50s if she would ever consider a younger man. But she said she has never considered it. But it is interesting when women date men younger than them. Very interesting. I would like to hear more responses.

 

[chocolat79]

Well, with my most serious relationships, my exes were 14 and 7 years older than me. I do have a rule that I won't date anyone younger than my brother who is 3.5 years younger than me. So far that's been working, but as I get older, I wouldn't automatically nix someone who consistently shows maturity and interest if they happen to surpass that rule by a little. It really just depends on the person.

 

[ART11]

My husband was 10 years older than me. When I was dating that was generally my preferred gap. Now that I am older though and find myself in the dating pool again, the men 10 years older than me are in their mid-50's aka The Viagra Crew aka Blue Diamond Posse so I think I will stay closer than ever to my own age and maybe a little younger. 5 years younger is my limit though - that will keep me safe from Cougar status I think.

 

[qchelle]

My husband was 10 years older than me. When I was dating that was generally my preferred gap. Now that I am older though and find myself in the dating pool again, the men 10 years older than me are in their mid-50's aka The Viagra Crew aka Blue Diamond Posse so I think I will stay closer than ever to my own age and maybe a little younger. 5 years younger is my limit though - that will keep me safe from Cougar status I think.

 

[chrisanddonniesmommy]

Haha my dh is only 5 months older! But, if I was still single, I don't think I could date or marry younger than 3 years. I'd feel as though I'm messing in my younger sister's options.

 

[yora88]

My boyfriend now is a year younger than me, I'm 22 and he's 21. I honestly think it just depends on the guy. Cause he is more mature than the guy that I was dating before him and that guy was older than me. I'm glad that I took a chance, I'm happier than I've ever been.

 

[NaturalPath]

^^ same here I will turn 24 in a few days and he will turn 23 in a months. The only thing I hate about our age difference is that I am more marriage minded while he believes that at (22) he is still too young to get married.

 

[Charlie555]

My SO is 1 year & 3 months younger then me. He is the 1st guy I have dated younger then me. I'm turning 28 & he will be turning 27 soon.

 

[Evolving78]

im seven years older than dh and im in my early 30's'. he talked a really good game, but if that is something you are going to pursue, get a chance to see him in his element, that will tell you a lot. i mean like the company he keeps, the relationships he has had, or lack of, his relationship with his family, what are his goals. etc....

 

[CurlyMoo]

He's 7 years older.

 

[NOEChic]

my dude is 2 yrs younger than me. he is the first guy that i ever took serious that was younger than me. i normally like to keep it in the 5-10 yrs older. i have done older than 10 yrs and younger than 5 yrs, but always older. it is interesting bc while he is more mature in some areas, he is young minded about lots of things.

 

[anon123]

My stepfather is 6 years younger than my mother, and they got together when she was 30 and he was 23! They've been married 20+ years now, so I guess it worked out. But I prefer to go no more than 4 years younger than me. 4 years older is better.

 

[natural_one]

My ex husband was 2 yrs younger, my current SO is 4 years younger and I have dated someone 10 years younger. In my experience age and maturity don't always correlate, so I date whoever I want and don't think about their age (within limits).

 

[LunadeMiel]

DH is 6 months younger than me.

 

[janda]

DH is 4 years younger.

 

[TinyBlu]

im seven years older than dh and im in my early 30's'. he talked a really good game, but if that is something you are going to pursue, get a chance to see him in his element, that will tell you a lot. i mean like the company he keeps, the relationships he has had, or lack of, his relationship with his family, what are his goals. etc....

Thanks for this. I see here that most ladies date older men. That has ALWAYS been my preference. In fact up until now, the youngest man I had ever dated was two years OLDER than me and he got on my last nerve.

This young man never ceases to render me speechless (which is rare! LOL). I'm 34 and he's 27 which raises all kinds of red flags initially, but he is incredibly perceptive and grounded for his age...even more so than some of the 40 year old men I have come in contact with.

My only worry is "mamma syndrome" or some weird type of cougar fantasy he may have. Normally, I wouldn't remotely entertain the idea, just because I know from life's experience that he's got some major hurdles to cross in the next few years, and I don't want to hold him back. I also don't want to parent an adult...

It's strange... I keep writing men off for silly reasons, but maybe I will at least give this one a chance. We'll see

 

[TinyBlu]

My ex husband was 2 yrs younger, my current SO is 4 years younger and I have dated someone 10 years younger. In my experience age and maturity don't always correlate, so I date whoever I want and don't think about their age (within limits).

That's interesting. With the 10 year age gap did you experience any challenges when it comes to simple things like musical preference, etc.

I can't help thinking that this man was a mere zygote when Thriller came out and wasn't even BORN when Off the Wall came out. He only knew Michael Jackson post plastic surgery!!!!

 

[RegaLady]

On another note my brother who is about 26 and his friends really think its cute and dandy to attract older women. Like women in their 30s. They love them! So, there are plenty of men that love to date older women.

 

[snillohsss]

Dh is 3yrs older than me. I applaud you ladies who date younger men. I don't think I could respect someone who was younger than me. I would always feel like I knew more, and was more experienced in life. Of course my thinking is all hypothetical since I have been married going on forever!

 

[SUPER SWEET]

He's 5 years younger....

 

[Poohbear]

The youngest I've ever dated was a year younger than me. I don't think I could do any younger than that.

The oldest I've ever dated was 5 years older than me. And I don't think I could do any older than that.

Right now, my boyfriend just turned 30 last week and I am 26 (I'll be 27 in Feb).

 

[BeautifulFlower]

I did the younger guy thing once (10 months younger) and it was very different. I dont think I'll do it again. He was nice and sweet and had great potential but didnt possess the level of maturity and confidence in myself I tend to want in a man.

I prefer to stay in the 4 to 8 year age gap. If another younger guys comes along, I wouldn't mind if he possess the right qualities.

 

[Briabiggles]

My current SO is 2 years older. My ex was 14 years older....which I think was too much for me.

 

[DarkAngell]

I am 5 months older than my fiance I was also one that was only attracted to older guys (10+).It was hard enough for me to date someone my age let alone 5 months younger. This is one of the reasons i pushed my fiance away for a while when i first met him. That proved to be a stupid mistake since he treats me like gold.....something the older men I met just didn't know how to do.

A friend of mine is with someone who is 2 years younger. They're doing great as well.

 

[aribell]

I am 5 months older than my fiance I was also one that was only attracted to older guys (10+).It was hard enough for me to date someone my age let alone 5 months younger. This is one of the reasons i pushed my fiance away for a while when i first met him. That proved to be a stupid mistake since he treats me like gold.....something the older men I met just didn't know how to do.

A friend of mine is with someone who is 2 years younger. They're doing great as well.

The bolded is interesting as I've experienced exactly the opposite. I've had some terrific experiences with the older ones and am left wishing they were 10 years younger. I have found dating guys my age to be highly hit or miss, but that's dating in general...

 

[Makenzie]

I used to like older men. But at 38 I'm not interesed in some one nearing 50. There are two men interested in me now that are mid fifties. One looks like he is in his 50's the other looks to be late 40's, but still. It's not on my to do list. I think I can date between 30 to 45.

 

[ctosha]

My ex was 2 years younger im 27 he was 25. He was mature on paper meaning good government job bought a house at the age of 25 however he was very immature when it came to relationship. Too indecisive, never listened to anything I had to say, lead me on etc. Would I do it again not too sure about that one.

 

[natural_one]

That's interesting. With the 10 year age gap did you experience any challenges when it comes to simple things like musical preference, etc.

I can't help thinking that this man was a mere zygote when Thriller came out and wasn't even BORN when Off the Wall came out. He only knew Michael Jackson post plastic surgery!!!!

No, he was very mature for his age. He enjoyed Stevie Wonder and 90s music more than I did. Everything else was us both being open to experiencing each other's world.