What Is With Some These Men..

[FemmeFatale]

that get with someone that is the complete opposite of what they're physically attracted to??? As of late my friends and I have really noticed this and just can't wrap my head around it..why get with someone that you are partially (physically)attracted to only to turn around, be disrespectful and/or cheat??????

I'm not trying to throw shots at other women, I'm really just trying to understand the mindset of these men. There are a few guys that I would consider ideal men but physically they just don't do it for me so I don't date them and waste their time..why can't men be more honest??!!

 

[RegaLady]

Men look at everything. I have seen men with stunners break their necks for other stunners, for averages, and for homely looking women. As I have seen what you have mentioned. Men look, nothing more, nothing less. Perhaps the women they married, homely or not were wife material. Yet, they are chasing the stunners to sleep with them. No one knows. But I don't think its that serious. Plenty of people look.

EDITED: If you are talking about cheating, being a stunner does not have to be a criteria for a man to cheat. I have known many instances where men had beautiful wives, they were attracted to, but wanted something different. And the other women, was nothing in comparison to the wife.

 

[Spiffy]

Well it is cuffin' season. Some guys just want a warm body until they upgrade, no additional requirements.

 

[FemmeFatale]

Men look at everything. I have seen men with stunners break their necks for other stunners, for averages, and for homely looking women. As I have seen what you have mentioned. Men look, nothing more, nothing less. Perhaps the women they married, homely or not were wife material. Yet, they are chasing the stunners to sleep with them. No one knows. But I don't think its that serious. Plenty of people look.

EDITED: If you are talking about cheating, being a stunner does have to be a criteria for a man to cheat. I have known many instances where men had beautiful wives, they were attracted to, but wanted something different. And the other women, was nothing in comparison to the wife.

Yeah I'm talking about cheating or attempting to cheat, not just looking.

Here's a prime example, I know several men who are very attracted to a particular type of woman..pretty face, nice hourglass physique and/or big butt, stylish and their significant others are the complete opposite.. I don't get it!

 

[FemmeFatale]

Well it is cuffin' season. Some guys just want a warm body until they upgrade, no additional requirements.

I laughed and shook my head at the same time. I guess it makes sense

 

[nysister]

Beats me. Some Men (and women for that matter) often get tired of whomever it is that they are with and browse other goods.

I have noticed what you're talking about though, it might really depend on the situation. I see this with Corporate types, I see a picture of their spouse, or glimpse them at an event and sorry to say I think "that explains why you can't take your eyes off of me." (Hey I'm human!)

Not to be mean, but you have to wonder what the thought was behind certain choices especially when there doesn't seem to be a personality to balance off what can be perceived as "interesting" looks. In cases like these I think it comes down to societal pressure. They were pressured to marry "xyz" for "abc" reason, and perhaps said spouse never really was type or preferred choice.

Whatever reason, whether understandable or not, it's quite disrespectful.

The way I see it is, once I can tell you're looking, you're looking too hard.

 

[RegaLady]

Yeah I'm talking about cheating or attempting to cheat, not just looking.

Here's a prime example, I know several men who are very attracted to a particular type of woman..pretty face, nice hourglass physique and/or big butt, stylish and their significant others are the complete opposite.. I don't get it!

Well, there was something about their signicant other that they liked enough to have them. As said before, I know men who have married and wifed the women you have described, yet they have cheated with other stunners, and women who didn't look half as good as their SO. So who knows. They like what they like for the time being. Because you or any other woman don't understand what he sees in her, doesn't mean he doesn't. Women tend to be more harsher on other women, then men are. Maybe the SO does great things for the man or he just loves her, but he wants something different. Besides physical is just that, physical.

 

[nysister]

Here's a prime example, I know several men who are very attracted to a particular type of woman..pretty face, nice hourglass physique and/or big butt, stylish and their significant others are the complete opposite.. I don't get it!

Oh yeah, especially if in the typical corporate America environment, (with White mean in particular) that's pressure from family, friends, etc, etc. When they'd sell their right arm just to be in your physical presence yet they married June Cleaver who just happens to share the same shape as their teenage son. I'm in no way convinced that they didn't do that to please family, and do what they felt they were expected to do.

That's another reason to marry someone you completely love. If you feel that this person is seriously lacking in something that is important to you, no matter how shallow, one should really think about it long and hard, because it's not fair to the other spouse. I think most of us would rather have someone say "you're really not my type" from the start, than find out later when he's sleeping with your physical, mental and or emotional opposite.

Quite often men who want to leave stay because of children, or so as not to be wiped out financially, not because of love or attraction.

 

[FemmeFatale]

Well, there was something about their signicant other that they liked enough to have them. As said before, I know men who have married and wifed the women you have described, yet they have cheated with other stunners, and women who didn't look half as good as their SO. So who knows. They like what they like for the time being. Because you or any other woman don't understand what he sees in her, doesn't mean he doesn't. Women tend to be more harsher on other women, then men are. Maybe the SO does great things for the man or he just loves her, but he wants something different. Besides physical is just that, physical.

I already explained that this wasn't a shot at women and how they look..it's about staying true to yourself an not hurting other people and wasting time, maybe I worded it wrong..I will replace homely with the opposite of what they're physically attracted to since that is what I really mean.

 

[Spiffy]

I laughed and shook my head at the same time. I guess it makes sense

Lol, I was mostly joking, but I do know lots of guys who live by this policy. For shame.

 

[Spiffy]

Oh yeah, especially if in the typical corporate America environment, (with White mean in particular) that's pressure from family, friends, etc, etc. When they'd sell their right arm just to be in your physical presence yet they married June Cleaver who just happens to share the same shape as their teenage son. I'm in no way convinced that they didn't do that to please family, and do what they felt they were expected to do.

That's another reason to marry someone you completely love. If you feel that this person is seriously lacking in something that is important to you, no matter how shallow, one should really think about it long and hard, because it's not fair to the other spouse. I think most of us would rather have someone say "you're really not my type" from the start, than find out later when he's sleeping with your physical, mental and or emotional opposite.

Quite often men who want to leave stay because of children, or so as not to be wiped out financially, not because of love or attraction.

You are so right! When I was in the corporate/healthcare world, when I started running a co-workers lab in the mornings, all these guys would just 'drop by' the lab to see how said co-worker was doing. They knew good and well he wasn't there because I was! There was this one guy who came by every morning, "Hey Spiffy, have you seen T?" giggling like a teenage boy; when I saw his wife, I just said "Oh, okay" to myself.

But, their homely or frumpy wife/girlfriend could have been an extremely put together lady at an earlier point.

 

[RegaLady]

Oh yeah, especially if in the typical corporate America environment, (with White mean in particular) that's pressure from family, friends, etc, etc. When they'd sell their right arm just to be in your physical presence yet they married June Cleaver who just happens to share the same shape as their teenage son. I'm in no way convinced that they didn't do that to please family, and do what they felt they were expected to do.

That's another reason to marry someone you completely love. If you feel that this person is seriously lacking in something that is important to you, no matter how shallow, one should really think about it long and hard, because it's not fair to the other spouse. I think most of us would rather have someone say "you're really not my type" from the start, than find out later when he's sleeping with your physical, mental and or emotional opposite.

Quite often men who want to leave stay because of children, or so as not to be wiped out financially, not because of love or attraction.

,

 

[RegaLady]

You are so right! When I was in the corporate/healthcare world, when I started running a co-workers lab in the mornings, all these guys would just 'drop by' the lab to see how said co-worker was doing. They knew good and well he wasn't there because I was! There was this one guy who came by every morning, "Hey Spiffy, have you seen T?" giggling like a teenage boy; when I saw his wife, I just said "Oh, okay" to myself.

But, their homely or frumpy wife/girlfriend could have been an extremely put together lady at an earlier point.

True. Not to mention, I think men had types when they met their women/wives and grew to like something diffrent OR they are just now beng honest with what they like. Its sad. It can happen to women too. But I think people don't hold out of what they really want because they feel they may never get it, societal pressures, or they realized love with whomever they married or built a relationship outweighed personal physical tastes.

 

[janiebaby]

Maybe they can't get who they want so they've been told to not be so picky....sound familiar?

 

[WhipEffectz1]

Maybe they can't get who they want so they've been told to not be so picky....sound familiar?

People do be telling people to settle on a forum I frequent a lot. No thanks so I can have a mid-life crisis later. However, I will say this. Although I value physical attraction, I don't think I will turn away someone who is average because I might vibe better with him. According to some friends, I have fallen short of glory a couple times in the looks of some men before but they had such a nice personality till I saw past other stuff.

Femme Fatale, you gonna get it just work on your kegels and gag reflex. lmao j/k

 

[Livingmylifetothefullest]

The same way some of them complain about women who wear a face full of makeup, talking about women should be natural and not where that "stuff" then turn around and date the very girl that....wears a face full of makeup. Some men don't know what they want.

 

[EllePixie]

I think that some men are with women who adore them to feed their egos. I have a friend like that...he is FOREVER telling me some story about how it sucks to have a gf because he could be getting so much booty right now...and it annoys the mess outta me because if I had a bf who talked like that, it'd be a no go. So I asked him why he was with her, and his first reponse was, "Because she REALLY cares about me." And I was like ummmm what? Then he's like, "Oh, and I mean I care about her too."

I also don't see the point in dating someone you aren't physically attracted to, even if that's shallow. I tried this one time, and the relationship turned terrible because he got very insecure because I didn't compliment him enough on his looks (I mean, I wasn't mean to him or insulting, but I don't lie so I'm not going to throw you empty compliments...although I did compliment his intellect), and when he pissed me off with his actions I just didn't want to be around him because it's not like he was eye candy to me. I absolutely despise cheating, and I think I would have ended up cheating on him (since he began to piss me off a lot), so I ended the relationship. A lot of people don't do that though.

 

[FemmeFatale]

People do be telling people to settle on a forum I frequent a lot. No thanks so I can have a mid-life crisis later. However, I will say this. Although I value physical attraction, I don't think I will turn away someone who is average because I might vibe better with him. According to some friends, I have fallen short of glory a couple times in the looks of some men before but they had such a nice personality till I saw past other stuff.

Femme Fatale, you gonna get it just work on your kegels and gag reflex. lmao j/k

I'm confused..what am I gonna get?

 

[Livingmylifetothefullest]

^^^

 

[Zaynab]

Men are so dumb. There is no rhyme or reason to why they pick certain women. I do think that MOST men are far more insecure than we know, so while they say they want a stunner, most are afraid to actually wife one and will only eyeball at a distance.

 

[WhipEffectz1]

I'm confused..what am I gonna get?

You might get the filet mignon like the unattractive women you are ranting about. But I suppose if you are okay with eating brown McCormick gravy smothered turkey necks then it is okay. lol

 

[janiebaby]

People do be telling people to settle on a forum I frequent a lot.

Ya don't say. I may have passed that one a couple times too in my internet travels

It's one thing taking a second look, it's another wasting your time and someone else's when you know it ain't right while you hoping that it'll get right.

 

[Shimmie]

that get with someone that is the complete opposite of what they're physically attracted to??? As of late my friends and I have really noticed this and just can't wrap my head around it..why get with someone that you are partially (physically)attracted to only to turn around, be disrespectful and/or cheat??????

I'm not trying to throw shots at other women, I'm really just trying to understand the mindset of these men. There are a few guys that I would consider ideal men but physically they just don't do it for me so I don't date them and waste their time..why can't men be more honest??!!

Women do this too.

They're obviously 'attracted' to something about the person even if it's the person's vunerability to justify their disrepectful ways.

Perhaps they are with this person because it justifies their reason to cheat [which is stupid] on his part, very sad on hers. The same when women do this to men; especially if she's using him for personal gain [his money for example].

To be honest:

Men [and women] don't necessarily cheat or disrespect a someone because of a their looks, they cheat / disrespect someone because they are cheaters / immature no matter who they are with.

 

[FemmeFatale]

You might get the filet mignon like the unattractive women you are ranting about. But I suppose if you are okay with eating brown McCormick gravy smothered turkey necks then it is okay. lol

doubt it but ok

 

[Guitarhero]

that get with someone that is the complete opposite of what they're physically attracted to??? A

Lawd, I'mma have to channel ThatJerseyGirl...(takes a Newport 100, puffs a bit...hand on hip)...snap out of it!



It's called "waiting for something better to come along." White men do it, Red men do it, Yellow men do it, Black men do it best They want comfort while they're waiting to dump you. Don't ch'all know that by now?

 

[SND411]

Um, women do the same exact thing

 

[SND411]

Women do this too.

They're obviously 'attracted' to something about the person even if it's the person's vunerability to justify their disrepectful ways.

Perhaps they are with this person because it justifies their reason to cheat [which is stupid] on his part, very sad on hers. The same when women do this to men; especially if she's using him for personal gain [his money for example].

To be honest:

Men [and women] don't necessarily cheat or disrespect a someone because of a their looks, they cheat / disrespect someone because they are cheaters / immature no matter who they are with.

EXACTLY. Perfectly stated

 

[SND411]

Men are so dumb. There is no rhyme or reason to why they pick certain women. I do think that MOST men are far more insecure than we know, so while they say they want a stunner, most are afraid to actually wife one and will only eyeball at a distance.

Very true. Notice how sometimes men who happen to marry "stunners" are very controlling of them because they fear they could always leave them for another man.

 

[FemmeFatale]

Lawd, I'mma have to channel ThatJerseyGirl...(takes a Newport 100, puffs a bit...hand on hip)...snap out of it!



It's called "waiting for something better to come along." White men do it, Red men do it, Yellow men do it, Black men do it best They want comfort while they're waiting to dump you. Don't ch'all know that by now?

I get it but damn that's terrible I feel like you made your choice now live with it and leave me alone. I'd rather be single than be with someone who isn't close to my ideal physically. Shallow but it's the truth.

 

[RegaLady]

Thats not to say even if he was with his ideal he wouldn't cheat. But hey, its whatever.