What if your SO doesn't let you look in his cell phone?

yokoyokogirl

yokoyokogirl

New Member
Is it violating his privacy? Is it rude or showing you don't trust him? Everyone I know that didn't want their SO checking their phone was cheating?

Or is it ok to keep cell phone and text msgs private?

:look::look: I know me...I check everything... even if things are good.:ohwell:
 
Do I need to make a call or something?

Why am I checking his cell phone?

The moment I find myself turning into Sherlocka Holmes, it's time to have a conversation, and for me to find a new man.
 
Syrah said:
Do I need to make a call or something?

Why am I checking his cell phone?

The moment I find myself turning into Sherlocka Holmes, it's time to have a conversation, and for me to find a new man.
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Thank you.

I don't want to know what's on his cell phone. I don't care and I don't want him checking mine.

If he's cheating, he's cheating. There's nothing I can do about it.

Now, if we were MARRIED and I wanted to divorce him, THEN the info on his phone would work in MY favor. I'd also hire a private detective to get dirt as well.

But to do it just because, NO.
 
Yes, it's a violation of privacy. I think it's both rude and demonstrates a lack of trust. It also wreaks of insecurity IMO. :perplexed

I don't think it's about what somebody doesn't want...if you are with a person you need to check up on, you probably need to find a new person. Maybe I just can't be bothered, but I can't see choosing to be with a man when you have to do all kinds of detective work. :nono: If he doesn't want to act right, he won't...fingerprints, recorded calls, and text message searches or not.
 
I don't want to look. I've got my own phone, and the house phone. He's not smarter than me. If he's doing something outside of THIS relationship, it'll come out eventually.
 
My ex refused to let me even touch the phone..turn out he had A LOT of stuff to hide.
If he doesn't have anything to hide, I don't see why he wouldn't let you use it/look in it.
My SO lets me do whatever I will with his phone, he does not have anything on it that I can't see.
If someone's SO is very protective of their phone, I think there is reason to wonder.
 
Im protective of my phone because its MINE. IDK it would make me want to purposely keep things from him and not be as open. I have nothing to hide but its a huge turn off and we wont make it that far...whats next checking my email accounts, myspace, facebook, and my federal mail? ''Let me see your phone"...why? and for what?
 
If he asked to check my phone, I would totally let him. But he doesn't.

I asked him to look at his phone and he said I don't trust him. Then I found out why...he was emailing a friend about what to do for our anniversary.

I'm a nosey hefer.
 
that's not grown folk behavior... if a person is that nosy or mistrusting, they need to exit the "relationship"...
 
If you demand wanting to check your man's phone all the time you don't trust him.

If he feels the need to keep his phone away from you, what is he hiding?

I don't demand to look at Dh's phone, but if I ask him for it to use or otherwise, he lets me take it. He has nothing to hide.
 
I don't try to check his phone, but if I needed to use and he went to actin' funny, it would cause me to raise a few eyebrows. We don't have that problem though. I can't really see myself trying to police someones phone unless i was paying the bill.
 
I think there is a difference between checking his phone while he is in the shower vs. You wanting to play with his phone while he is sitting beside you. We have different phones and sometimes I like to check of the features/games of other phones in case I want a different phone one day. If he was to get all defensive and catch an attitude, I'd know what's up.

I mean really ladies.... U can have the man all up in your ______ but not your phone. Nah. Hmmmmm.

Eta: the better question to me would be: would he let you borrow his phone for the day? If your phone wasn't working, he was sitting at home, you had to be out and about.... Would he let you borrow his phone while you were waiting for a new one? That evidences trust.
 
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envybeauty said:
I think there is a difference between checking his phone while he is in the shower vs. You wanting to play with his phone while he is sitting beside you. We have different phones and sometimes I like to check of the features/games of other phones in case I want a different phone one day. If he was to get all defensive and catch an attitude, I'd know what's up.
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I agree with this. However, "checking" implies a search for incriminating evidence or proof of infidelity or something...it also suggests something that happens consistently.

Random use, for random reasons, is different. I wouldn't mind him seeing my phone for that reason and he shouldn't get screw faced with me for the same. But I will not be marking my calendar to "check his phone" to see what's there nor will I allow him to do that to me.
 
One of the things my ex-fiance used to do was check my browsing history on my laptop. (I didn't even know that he KNEW how to do that).

One day when I came home, he was trying to lay into me for checking my friends' FaceBook albums (He was a guy.) Apparently, I was looking at the photos because I was 'into' him. :rolleyes:

So from there I just kept deleting my browsing history. It was SO annoying.
 
I'd be suspicious as all hell! lol

He gives me his Facebook and his e-mail address (the facebook he wanted to show me something and his e-mail address I needed to e-mail a resume for him) and he didnt care so if he cared that I looked on his phone then he's cheating
 
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My SO doesn't like people looking through his phone period. Even tho I'm the wifey and blh blah blah its a personal preference and its his space. He pays for it...unless i dont have a phone...no need for me too look through it. Just doesn't settle right.
 
I don't look at his phone. I don't like to use his phone. I've answered it (and don't want to do that either).

And if my phone went on the blink I wouldn't borrow his, I'd go right to AT&T and just get another.

There are some things that should remain private. :yep: Yes I think its great that he wouldn't have a problem with me answering his phone. or looking at it (hell I'm the one who set it up!)

At the same time, I do not like him looking through my stuff. Hell I don't even want him to breathe heavy on my phone! He knows that and its not because I'm hiding stuff, I just don't like folk all in my ****.

Curiosity killed the cat. If mistrust is in the relationship, you ain't gonna stop with just a phone.

-A
 
if you go looking for something, then you shall find it. I was at a stire one time listening to this dudes talk about how they get away with cheating and they said that they for example change the name of the person in their phone to a dudes name and also change the area code dialing or one of the digits in the phone number. Too much. a man is going to do what they want to do.
 
I don't see the reason to check his phone for anything. He's the same as when I met him so if I felt the need to go through his phone at any time I should of never married the man to start with
 
BillsBackerz67 said:
Im protective of my phone because its MINE. IDK it would make me want to purposely keep things from him and not be as open. I have nothing to hide but its a huge turn off and we wont make it that far...whats next checking my email accounts, myspace, facebook, and my federal mail? ''Let me see your phone"...why? and for what?
Click to expand...

Thank you!! I'm not about to check yours, and you aint' checking mines. He jokes about me having a 50-million character password. Whatever! :lachen:I'm not cheating, but I've had a password from a previous relationship and I'm not taking it off.
 
I don't necessarily "check" because I am not looking to find anything. But I do look through it sometimes out of curiosity or boredom. This is right next to him. He doesn't care and I wouldn't care if he did the same. There is nothing to hide. We are open like that.

BTW, whenever I had convos with men who had VERY STRONG OPINIONS about them wanting to keep their phone private, it was because they were busy phone-flirting and didn't want any drama. Go figure.
 
you don't need to look at his phone unless you are making a call.

i don't want anyone looking through my phone and i have nothing to hide
 
I've never wanted to look at my man's phone and he never wants to look at mine- It rings, he just passes it along. We both know that we have full access to each other's stuff though:yep:
 
Is it violating his privacy?
if you do it constantly especially when he's not around.

Is it rude or showing you don't trust him?
if you do it constantly, then you definitely don't trust him.

Everyone I know that didn't want their SO checking their phone was cheating?
That's been the case every time i've seen it.

Or is it ok to keep cell phone and text msgs private?
Only if I get to keep mine private too.
 
vivmaiko said:
If you demand wanting to check your man's phone all the time you don't trust him.

If he feels the need to keep his phone away from you, what is he hiding?

I don't demand to look at Dh's phone, but if I ask him for it to use or otherwise, he lets me take it. He has nothing to hide.
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I agree. I'm not a "phone checker". I've never felt the need. However, if just looking through his phone casually or touching it were a big problem I would become suspicious. People can say "but I'm not cheating!!", but IMO that is the exception that proves the rule. More often than not when people are creeping, have a history of creeping, or are maintaining an untapped "back up" they develop habits around maintaining the secrecy. That may not apply to you (general you, not you Viv :lol:), but it's still a common occurrence so it's only natural for certain behavior to make ppl nervous.
 
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As to the OP constantly checking his phone. I don't think that's cool. Feeling like your partner doesn't trust you is damaging to a relationship. You should sit down with him and get to the bottom of this. Figure out if it's something he did, someone new in the picture, a change in behavior, or paranoia/insecurity on your part. Sometimes these things can be good because they can spark a conversation or change that needs to be had :yep:
 
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My ex went through my phone, myspace, facebook and found NOTHING. So, I asked him to let me see his phone, myspace and facebook, etc. and he was like, "No, why do you need to see that?" So I told him, "Obviously, what you're doing/hiding has you so worried that you have to go through my stuff so, either let me know up front like a man or let me reciprocate."

:wallbash::wallbash::wallbash: I'm starting to really dislike men.
 
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