What have you done/would you do in this situation?

[Jenibo]

My guy friend called me and was telling me what happened when he and his gf went to walmart. They were walking and this guy comes up to both of them and hits on the girl but she points to my friend and says "I'm taken." I asked him what did you do? He said nothing. Then later on they were in the juniors department and the guy comes up again and tries to hit on her but she conveniently finds a shirt that says something to the effect of "I'm taken" and holds it up. Meanwhile i'm asking my friend "what did you do/say?" and he says that after she holds up the shirt the guy walks away and never came back, so i'm guessing he did nothing again. I then lost some respect for him because i know if that was me and my bf didn't at least say something the 2nd time it happened, I'd be mad.
So has this ever happened to you? If not what would you have done if you were in his gf's place? Also what if it was the other way around and a girl tried to hit on your dh/so right in front of you?

 

[Encore]

That would be an issue I'd have to address, that makes me feel like either he doesn't really care about her like that or he is a weak male. To give him the benifit of the doubt maybe he wanted to see how she would handle it. Still he should have said something.

 

[MDinLA]

My husband is in the military and I am a doctor and honestly I would prefer that he doesn't do anything. I don't need him to prove that he is strong. i already know that. I would rather deal with it peacefully than have a confrontation.

 

[Duchesse]

I would be a bit upset if my bf didn't say anything at all! My question is, how is the bf's body language with his girlfriend?

I can't imagine (though I know some folks really have no manners whatsoever) a guy trying to approach a girl twice who is with another male.

 

[SvelteVelvet]

My SO would have fists to face so fast in that situation, I couldn't even imagine. Nuff said on what he would do. That's one thing I appreciate about him, his fearlessness when it comes to other males and protecting the women in his life. (ok, enough taking the chance to talk about my SO )

Two things for me if he acted as the guy above. I'd feel less protected around him, his manhood would be a bit tarnished in my eyes. And I'd wonder about the depth of his feelings for me to allow such a thing to happen in his presence.

 

[awhyley]

My husband is in the military and I am a doctor and honestly I would prefer that he doesn't do anything. I don't need him to prove that he is strong. i already know that. I would rather deal with it peacefully than have a confrontation.

Ditto @ the bolded. It doesn't make sense making a scene, if the relationship is secure. The second time, I would have been peeved, and SO could have said something, but that probably would have created drama, since the guy already proved that he didn't have any regard for them as a 'couple'.

I'd feel less protected around him, his manhood would be a bit tarnished in my eyes. And I'd wonder about the depth of his feelings for me to allow such a thing to happen in his presence.

Would you have felt more protected when popo were dragging your man away in cuffs for assault & battery?

 

[SvelteVelvet]

Would you have felt more protected when popo were dragging your man away in cuffs for assault & battery?

Not at all. My man's temper is a double-edged sword, I'd appreciate that he'd at least give a look to the dude or say something, I'd prefer it not to go to blows most definately. We have nothing to worry about where he's from because people know the deal with him. Anywhere else though I believe I could rely on his 'cuffing' tendencies when we are out together to thwart unwanted attention from a bold male.

 

[MD_Lady]

My husband is in the military and I am a doctor and honestly I would prefer that he doesn't do anything. I don't need him to prove that he is strong. i already know that. I would rather deal with it peacefully than have a confrontation.

Agreed. With a firey man (like DH) silence = self-control more times than it does weakness. Unless someone is threatening me with physical violence, I really don't want to have bail DH out of jail for lighting up some numbskull in Walmart.

 

[TheseStankyLegs]

If y'all saw my man y'all would know why people don't even try me like that. I would rather my SO said SOMETHING and not just stand there and let this guy continually harass me. Following any woman around a store is truly harassment. What's teh point of having a man if he won't protect you?


...Call me old school, but these new school rules just don't do it...

 

[dlewis]

When this has happened to me Dh has said firmly "She is my wife!". If he didn't say anything I would find that odd.


awhyley why would they have to end up in a fight? I don't understand that.

 

[MD_Lady]

When this has happened to me Dh has said firmly "She is my wife!". If he didn't say anything I would find that odd.

awhyley why would they have to end up in a fight? I don't understand that.

Because the guy approached her a second time after knowing she was not only taken, but at the store with her boyfriend. Coming up to a woman while she's alone is an innocent mistake, but his persistance and boldness would make me feel that the situation could get out of control pretty quickly.

 

[dlewis]

Because the guy approached her a second time after knowing she was not only taken, but at the store with her boyfriend. Coming up to a woman while she's alone is an innocent mistake, but his persistance and boldness would make me feel that the situation could get out of control pretty quickly.

Maybe he (the stalker) thought he (her boyfriend) was her brother? Dude din't say anything. There is a way he could have said "She's with me" and let that be that.

 

[Jenibo]

If y'all saw my man y'all would know why people don't even try me like that. I would rather my SO said SOMETHING and not just stand there and let this guy continually harass me. Following any woman around a store is truly harassment. What's teh point of having a man if he won't protect you?


...Call me old school, but these new school rules just don't do it...

ITA with the bolded. My friend is a scary one when it comes to confrontarion with other guys. I don't think he's ever even been in a fight before so I'm thinking he got scared- maybe he didn't want the guy to embarass him in front of his gf but i still thought he should of at least said something the second time.

 

[JustKiya]

This has happened, and DH knows to be silent - unless I ask for help. He's come to terms with my independence, and he knows that not only can I handle self, but I will pull him in instantly if I feel that he is needed.

I don't want a man who springs to protect me in all cases - as if I can't protect myself. That would make me feel like a child, not a grown woman. I do want a man who springs to protect me the instant I want/need his protection, without me having to explicitly say something.

That is me, however. Not all women roll (or want to roll) like that. In that specific case, I would have handled it the same way - those two times. If there had been a third time, I would have just glanced at DH, and he would have gotten all up in homeboys face in the blink of an eye. And that's how it's supposed to be.
And I assure you, had he touched me - at any point - DH would have been in his grill instantly, as well..... but just speaking? Nah, he knows I got that on lock.

 

[dlewis]

ITA with the bolded. My friend is a scary one when it comes to confrontarion with other guys. I don't think he's ever even been in a fight before so I'm thinking he got scared- maybe he didn't want the guy to embarass him in front of his gf but i still thought he should of at least said something the second time.

I agree he should have said something. I have had women flirt with my husband, with me being right there and I nicely tell them "Ho this my man!!"

J/k I tell them "this is my husband" or if I'm in a playful mood I tell them "This my baby daddy".

 

[itismehmmkay]

I agree he should have said something. I have had women flirt with my husband, with me being right there and I nicely tell them "Ho this my man!!"

J/k I tell them "this is my husband" or if I'm in a playful mood I tell them "This my baby daddy".

And I haven't had a dude try and holla at me while w/ SO. But if it looks like somebody's looking at me a little too hard, SO will speak to him w/ a "hi" or "what's up". Like, "yeah, this is me"

 

[hopeful]

I agree he should have said something. I have had women flirt with my husband, with me being right there and I nicely tell them "Ho this my man!!"

J/k I tell them "this is my husband" or if I'm in a playful mood I tell them "This my baby daddy".

@ the bolded. I love it.

 

[discobiscuits]

i've had dudes tell me that in situations where they are out with their lady and she gets hit on, he likes to see how she handles it (does she flirt, accept the advances as a compliment, immediately set the other guy straight, whatever) because he knows if ol boy or the situation gets out of hand then he will step up and handle business. as long as the man is there he can and will protect his lady. a real man does not need to immediately swell up in the OP's scenario. the best way to deal is like MdinLA said. that said, the other dude must have a death wish doing stuff like that. dummy.

 

[TheseStankyLegs]

I agree he should have said something. I have had women flirt with my husband, with me being right there and I nicely tell them "Ho this my man!!"

J/k I tell them "this is my husband" or if I'm in a playful mood I tell them "This my baby daddy".

Lol!!!!!!

Now in THIS situation, I would be silent. No need of asserting myself, because IMO, it's not my job to protect HIM. I've never been tried like that...but..I guess I need to just keep on living...

 

[tallygirl]

i've had dudes tell me that in situations where they are out with their lady and she gets hit on, he likes to see how she handles it (does she flirt, accept the advances as a compliment, immediately set the other guy straight, whatever) because he knows if ol boy or the situation gets out of hand then he will step up and handle business. as long as the man is there he can and will protect his lady. a real man does not need to immediately swell up in the OP's scenario. the best way to deal is like MdinLA said. that said, the other dude must have a death wish doing stuff like that. dummy.

I totally agree with the bolded...No need for him to pop off on some dumb dude as described in the WalMart scenario.

 

[dlewis]

Lol!!!!!!

Now in THIS situation, I would be silent. No need of asserting myself, because IMO, it's not my job to protect HIM. I've never been tried like that...but..I guess I need to just keep on living...

If I'm there I'll def deal with it. But like I said it's no need for anyone to be rude about anything. Sometimes people just don't know he/she is with you.

 

[TheseStankyLegs]

Exacly D,

But, if some man is following me around the store, I think a woman's SO should atleast verbally note his presence. A Simple "She with me my man" would have did just fine. I agree with no confrontations, but come on...

 

[Jenibo]

I totally agree with the bolded...No need for him to pop off on some dumb dude as described in the WalMart scenario.

I agree that he shouldn't make a fight about it i just think she didn't have to even hold up the shirt the 2nd time cause he would of stepped in. If it was another man then yea but the same dude he could of said SOMETHING!.

Exacly D,

But, if some man is following me around the store, I think a woman's SO should atleast verbally note his presence. A Simple "She with me my man" would have did just fine. I agree with no confrontations, but come on...

ITA

 

[discobiscuits]

Exacly D,

But, if some man is following me around the store, I think a woman's SO should atleast verbally note his presence. A Simple "She with me my man" would have did just fine. I agree with no confrontations, but come on...

even better, actions speak louder than words.

put his arm around her, pull her close, give ol boy 'the look' and walk away.

if he must speak i'd LOL @ the bold + a head nod and a "what's up playa? you lost? because WE don't know you."

 

[sky_blu]

It's never happened to me while a SO was standing there but its happened when they weren't standing there.

 

[tiara76]

Just like if im with a man I don't feel the need to have to step in on a situation that IF he wants to take care of he can....if he doesn't make it clear or known that he is with me that says alot about him....IF i have to say something....there is a problem......

If it was me...If Im with somebody who I respect then I make it clear Im with him, he won't have to say n e thing, but just sit back and Know I got this handled

unless the dude gets out of hand....in that situation if the dude wasn't overly persistent or pesterly then i would of done what she did and been good..... the type of guys I tend to usually deal with are the ones who know I got it handled and are secure in knowing that a person like that is no threat to them and that Im with them and know when to step in and when not too....

that would of been a situation we could of had a good chuckle about

 

[bimbabe]

It was disrespectful...but it did not cross the line where your friend needed to interject. The girlfriend handled herself well and a confrontation was avoided.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

I have bail money on hand in case DH has to beat someone down for bothering me....but that is only because for YEARS someone has left candy in front of our door. It started before I met DH but it has continued for YEARS. We are still not sure of who is doing this.....but I suspect it's a guy that once lived in the building and still comes back to visit his family.

I'd prefer DH to let me handle it unless the guy is really being aggressive and stalking.

I have not had a woman hit on DH while I was with him but hope that I would let him handle it. It does happen where even after he tells women that he is happily married they keep trying to give him their number or ask him out.....but then he gets more firm and may call them out for being triflin'.

 

[LadieCrn]

Something should have been said. Silence does not always = self control. You don't have to get into a brawl, but I would like my man to say something. Otherwise I would be wondering if I am walking around with some kinda punk

 

[QUEENDIVA1]

I agree he should have said something. I have had women flirt with my husband, with me being right there and I nicely tell them "Ho this my man!!"

J/k I tell them "this is my husband" or if I'm in a playful mood I tell them "This my baby daddy".