What does this mean?

[vevster]

The apple of my eye, my nephew, recently asked a girl out. At first she said yes, then she came back with yes, if my friend can come with.

I does this mean what I think it means? That she doesn't really like him, but will enjoy an evening out?

He passed on it, by the way....

 

[Black Ambrosia]

The apple of my eye, my nephew, recently asked a girl out. At first she said yes, then she came back with yes, if my friend can come with.

I does this mean what I think it means? That she doesn't really like him, but will enjoy an evening out?

He passed on it, by the way....

How old are they?

 

[ttyne784]

I would like to know their age too because this seems like something a teenager might do. Doesn’t necessarily mean she doesn’t like him. She might like him but is nervous and asked friend to come for moral support.

 

[vevster]

How old are they?

18. College freshmen.

 

[Shimmie]

The apple of my eye, my nephew, recently asked a girl out. At first she said yes, then she came back with yes, if my friend can come with.

I does this mean what I think it means? That she doesn't really like him, but will enjoy an evening out?

He passed on it, by the way....

It's a 'positive' for the young lady if this is a first date. Perhaps she was shy and nervous.

 

[frizzy]

She might not trust men...

She might be testing how bad he wants to go out with her...

She might be testing his pockets....

 

[mrselle]

If she didn't like him, she wouldn't go. It was probably more for her own comfort/safety if its a first date.

 

[vevster]

Well despite what her motives were it wasn’t a match so...

 

[vevster]

She might not trust men...

She might be testing how bad he wants to go out with her...

She might be testing his pockets....

I don’t like tests.

 

[Black Ambrosia]

I think she just wasn't comfortable. At 18 she may not have much dating experience. I don't think it was a test.

 

[Leeda.the.Paladin]

Maybe her friend was lonely and she didnt want to leave her alone for some reaso? Especially in this time of isolation

I also know a few families that dont belive in their girls going out alone With a boy the first few times,

 

[vevster]

I think she just wasn't comfortable. At 18 she may not have much dating experience. I don't think it was a test.

What is so scary about going to lunch?

i don’t like that he was expected to pay for an extra person. He’sa student!

 

[LiftedUp]

The apple of my eye, my nephew, recently asked a girl out. At first she said yes, then she came back with yes, if my friend can come with.

I does this mean what I think it means? That she doesn't really like him, but will enjoy an evening out?

He passed on it, by the way....

Yes. This is what I use to do back in college. Make a fun evening out of it but make it clear that we're hanging out as friends and nothing more.

 

[awhyley]

i don’t like that he was expected to pay for an extra person. He’sa student!

Was that implied though?

 

[Lylddlebit]

I wonder if she is Christian. Many Christian teenagers don't go one on one dates especially if they are just starting to date. I know your nephew is the apple of your eye and some girls are users but I don't see evidence is malice here. Evidence of being young? Yes. Evidence of getting to actually know him before actually dating him? Yes. Evidence of getting comfortable? Yes ...but it's okay to chill and let teenagers be young and imperfectly learn lessons about themselves and others as they live life Auntie. There will be more than a few awkward moments as they find their way. It's good that your nephew is seeing what he is and isn't into but I don't see malice indicated by the young lady or that she was just trying to con him into paying for an extra person as you are indicating though.

 

[vevster]

Was that implied though?

Yes, it was.

 

[vevster]

It's good that your nephew is seeing what he is and isn't into but I don't see malice indicated by the young lady or that she was just trying to con him into paying for an extra person as you are indicating though.

I don't think we have enough information. I'm trying to figure it out.

 

[Lylddlebit]

I don't think we have enough information. I'm trying to figure it out.

Fair enough. In either case if he just speaks to her or is around her outside of dating context the truth won't take long to surface.

 

[Ganjababy]

What is so scary about going to lunch?

i don’t like that he was expected to pay for an extra person. He’sa student!

I don’t see anything wrong with that. Chivalry is dying. Now, if she is a user that‘s different and her motives will show itself sooner than later...

 

[Leeda.the.Paladin]

Oh, now, if they were expecting him to pay for the friend too then that’s a big NO. But you know, sometimes people in their late teens can still be oblivious. I know I was .They may not have even thought about that.

I’m not getting a sense of something sinister Or insensitive here. Not yet.

 

[Leeda.the.Paladin]

And if all of these changes are not worth it to your nephew, then he knows that this is not the girl to pursue.

 

[PeaceFlow]

There are 30 year old women doing this lol. My guy friend just had this happen and he's 40. In that case it was just a summer picnic date and she brought a friend..... IMO she was not sure whether she liked him.

I cant imagine going for a date with a guy and him asking to bring a friend. Invite me to a cute picnic and rock up with Marcus, nah dude

I know we have threads on here occasionally about dumb stuff we've heard men do on dates, this has got to be one of the ones men hate and I dont blame em. Anyhow this girl is young so at least there's an immaturity excuse. At least she asked also, a lot of the time its a surprise three person date.

 

[vevster]

I don’t see anything wrong with that. Chivalry is dying. Now, if she is a user that‘s different and her motives will show itself sooner than later...

If someone asks me somewhere, I think it is rude to bring another person. Period.
Plus, she at first says yes, then comes back with a contingency.

 

[classychic1908]

I don't see any harm, young girls often bring a friend when going somewhere with a new person. When I was a senior in high school, my bestie didn't eat in the cafeteria if I couldn't come with her.

 

[classychic1908]

As far as being a student and living on a strict budget, the proper thing to do would be to change gears with the date and plan an activity that still fits in his budget but considers his date's comfort. Instead of going to a restaurant, perhaps plan a picnic in the park. Instead of lunch, perhaps go out for ice cream.

 

[Saludable84]

I don't think we have enough information. I'm trying to figure it out.

Definitely get more information. I understand he’s your nephew but too much stuff happens to young girls out here and then we scold them for not being cautious enough. I’ve heard of things like this (having a friend accompany you) but not paying for the friend. And they usually don’t sit at the table, but close enough to watch their friend. Then take the friend home. No funny business.

 

[vevster]

I’ve heard of things like this (having a friend accompany you) but not paying for the friend. And they usually don’t sit at the table, but close enough to watch their friend. Then take the friend home.

That is so weird to me. What in the world?

 

[vevster]

Yes. This is what I use to do back in college. Make a fun evening out of it but make it clear that we're hanging out as friends and nothing more.

Who pays in your scenario?

I was matched up w guy I didn’t like — he asked me to the movies. I went and took my sister. I paid for myself and her. Cause I didn’t like him.

 

[frizzy]

@vevster
Why did you agree to go out with him if you knew in advance you didn't like him?

 

[vevster]

@vevster
Why did you agree to go out with him if you knew in advance you didn't like him?

It was a set up I felt I couldn’t get out of at the time.