WHAT DO YOU THINK????

D

diamondlady

Active Member
I have a friend with beautiful long, long hair. Twice as long as mine but I'm never hating. I ask a lot of questions and get advice and she is so sweet. Here is the problem. She is only sweet when we're alone but let someone else show up and she gets a "third grade attitude". It's like "I can play with some else so I don't need you" attitude.

She gets stuck up, talks down to me about hair. Talks negatively about the products I like. And the looks she gives me are so condescending every time I open my mouth. She turns back to sugar when it's just us.

I asked her about it and she said she didn't know what I was talking about & that I was paranoid.

She says she will give me some help and she gave me a lot of half used products. I'm now afraid to use them. Another friend told me that she said that she get so sick of me talking about my husband and my vacations and cruises but when we're alone she is the one who is asking about me about where I'm going and what my husband has given me for anniversaries and birthdays.

I may be paranoid but I don't think I want to use those products because I don't think I can trust her. What do you think?
 
I don't know about the products, but I don't think this woman is your friend.
I'd take anything she told me or gave me with a grain of salt.
 
I would read the product ingredients and, if those agreed with me, I'd go out and buy new bottles for myself if I didn't trust my "friend". Good luck to you.
 
Girl, it is not just hair care and products. Anyone that would take hair so seriously over to friendship would act like with other things, as well. Some people get bigheaded when they get lots of attention for a particular reason - any reason.

I agree with WomanlyCharm, she is not a friend. I am thinking of my girlfriends and none of them would act like that towards me, especially about something like haircare products!!! :lol: :lol: I mean, come on is it all really that serious? :lol: :lol:
 
prettypuff1 said:
Any friend who treats you like that when others are around, she isnt your friend...
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I agree. I wouldn't consider her a friend at all. I wouldn't use the products either. You can get plenty of good product suggestions on here.:)
 
diamondlady said:
I have a friend with beautiful long, long hair. Twice as long as mine but I'm never hating. I ask a lot of questions and get advice and she is so sweet. Here is the problem. She is only sweet when we're alone but let someone else show up and she gets a "third grade attitude". It's like "I can play with some else so I don't need you" attitude.

She gets stuck up, talks down to me about hair. Talks negatively about the products I like. And the looks she gives me are so condescending every time I open my mouth. She turns back to sugar when it's just us.

I asked her about it and she said she didn't know what I was talking about & that I was paranoid.

She says she will give me some help and she gave me a lot of half used products. I'm now afraid to use them. Another friend told me that she said that she get so sick of me talking about my husband and my vacations and cruises but when we're alone she is the one who is asking about me about where I'm going and what my husband has given me for anniversaries and birthdays.

I may be paranoid but I don't think I want to use those products because I don't think I can trust her. What do you think?
Click to expand...

I'll put it this way: Friends are there to encourage you. They're always there when you need them, and you don't need to second guess when they do something nice for you. If you have to ask us whether you should use some stuff your friend (I use that term loosely) gave you, then NO,dont use it. Stay away from this woman. I am sure there are other women who appreciate your friendship. And you know you can come here for whatever hair advice you need.
 
Thanks for your reinforcement of what I already thought.

I really wondered if I was paranoid or imagining something but when I asked her about it she pretended not to know what I was talking about.

I think I WILL cross her off my friends list and toss the products.
 
She's not your friend.
And if she acts all salty in front of people and sugar when your alone, I definantly would not use those products. She may be a little off and trying to sabotage you.
Stay away from that one.
 
KEWLKAT103,

"She may be a little off and trying to sabotage you"

EXACTLY WHAT I THOUGHT!!!! I thought may really sound paranoid if I said that.
 
Trust your instincts-- she sounds SHADY -- stop taking her hair advice, stop talking about your husband, and don't use those half "used" products.

I have a "buddy" who has always felt very competive with me, I realized she was not turly interested or happy for me - just wanted something to gossip about with others. So now, I don't share anything of importance with her - she is happy because she thinks that WE are on the same vibe.

You just can't share your dreams with everyone!:perplexed
 
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I had a friend like this, I keep my distance. I only call her once every 4 months and I avoid her. We have known each other forever and she is almost family so this is why she isn't totally cut off.

You really need to stay away from her, she is not your friend and she needs to work through her issues:perplexed
 
trimbride said:
I had a friend like this, I keep my distance. I only call her once every 4 months and I avoid her. We have known each other forever and she is almost family so this is why she isn't totally cut off.

You really need to stay away from her, she is not your friend and she needs to work through her issues:perplexed
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TB - your braids are BEAUTIFUL!;)
 
Don't use those products because you never know. How childish of her.How old is she anyway??? I don't think you are being paranoid at all. It's sad but a lot of people act like she does. I used to have a friend like that and I dropped her because I like people who are real. Who doesn't though. Sit her down and have a talk with her. Tell her exactly what is on your mind and give her exaples of situations you guys were in when this would happen.In fact, call her out on it next time.If she still objects then drop her. Im sure you have much better friends that don't engage in childish games like that.Stick with them:)
 
diamondlady said:
I have a friend with beautiful long, long hair. Twice as long as mine but I'm never hating. I ask a lot of questions and get advice and she is so sweet. Here is the problem. She is only sweet when we're alone but let someone else show up and she gets a "third grade attitude". It's like "I can play with some else so I don't need you" attitude.

She gets stuck up, talks down to me about hair. Talks negatively about the products I like. And the looks she gives me are so condescending every time I open my mouth. She turns back to sugar when it's just us.

I asked her about it and she said she didn't know what I was talking about & that I was paranoid.

She says she will give me some help and she gave me a lot of half used products. I'm now afraid to use them. Another friend told me that she said that she get so sick of me talking about my husband and my vacations and cruises but when we're alone she is the one who is asking about me about where I'm going and what my husband has given me for anniversaries and birthdays.

I may be paranoid but I don't think I want to use those products because I don't think I can trust her. What do you think?
Click to expand...

I don't know her, but from what you've described I wouldn't consider her to be one of my friends if she treated me that way. I don't know your other friend who told you what she said, but Im guessing that she was telling the absolute truth. I don't like it at all when people are two-faced, that's when I know it's time for me to let that person go. She doesn't seem trustworthy. I've known someone who started acting like that and we grew apart and went our seperate ways real quick. And she would also act like she didn't know what I was talking about when I called her on her little snobby act, which made me more HOT. It wasn't like I needed her to be my friend. I had plenty of friends. She didn't know me too well. I don't like people to mistreat me, talk behind my back, or talk to me crazy. This was back in middle school though, I haven't dealt with a friend like that since then. I'm guarded, I will give people a chance to be my friend, but if they show me just one sign of something I don't really like, I keep my distance because I feel like I don't have time for it. I think she's a bit intimidated by you. If you think those products would be great, buy them for yourself. You would be amazed at how far people would go when they are truly jealous and hating on you. I'd just hate for you to start shedding hair like crazy. oooh I don't like Backstabbers or fake people in my life.
 
How disappointing. This girl is not your friend. I'm sorry that you have wasted you time with this girl.
 
I wouldn't girl, you don't need her for hair product advice anyway, you got LHCF! And cold diss her, don't hang out or even talk to her anymore, she probably has a social complex when it comes to friendships. Certainly doesn't sound like she values yours. You mentioned it to her, great! She wants to call you paranoid. Well if she brings up you not having time to hang out due to the other hobbies or other friends, tell her she's being paranoid. Trust, she's playing stupid, but giving that back to her will let her know that you are not.
 
I agree with all you ladies. I think you are right on point. Number one- She's two-face (sweet in private, salty in public) 2. She's jealous (why else would she pry into my life with questions so she can talk about me later) 3. She's insecure (why else would she feel she has to belittle me in front of others) 4. Her hair is her only asset ( or at least she must feel that way or why else would she act as if she is the hair expert and no one else knows anything about good products or good practices.) 5. She is childish (She is 29 years old and acts like an 8 year old). 6. She is going to suffer from asphalt burn because I'm going to kick her to the curb so hard and so fast.

We have been friends about three years but we were always hanging out with just the two of us. We actually got together when I complimented her hair ( which is waist length). She complimented my hair also and we just started talking. We later found out that we knew some of the same people and we start hanging out with them. I was shocked at how she started acting. If the subject of hair comes up, she dominants the conversation and we all listen because, after all, she has beautiful hair. But if I bring up a product I like or talk about a protective style that I've read about on the forum, she looks as me like "how dare you talk" then she will say something negative about the product or whatever I bring up. Most of the time I don't think her point or valid.
 
Small hijack Diamondlady, but what are her tips and products? Even though she's trippin', you know we still wanna know how she gets that pretty hair!:lol:
 
Choklatekiss79 said:
All the info and tips you need about haircare and products are right here on LHCF!!!!:D
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That's right you've got enough friends right here that wont steer you in the wrong direction. :kiss: So don't use the products and stop telling her your business:nono: Your so-called friend seems jealous:evil: of you for other reasons. Dont trust her.
 
I think the products are probably good products because I have seen some of them mentioned on the forum and some I had already used. I am just afraid she may have put something in them. All but one of them was open.

She gave me:
1. K-PAK reconstruct
2. Kenra intensive emollient treatment
3. Nexxus KERApHIX
4. K-PAK leave-in protectant
5. KeraCare (shampoo)
6. Salerm vital capilar
7. Elasta QP Elucent Power Drops
8. Goldwell Definition Repair Serum
 
cluelessaka said:
That's right you've got enough friends right here that wont steer you in the wrong direction. :kiss: So don't use the products and stop telling her your business:nono: Your so-called friend seems jealous:evil: of you for other reasons. Dont trust her.
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Thanks for you input. I've been here since 2003 and I trust the ladies here and try to share with my sincere friends who really want to improve their hair.
I've found this forum to be so supportive and not just on hair matters but other emotional matter as well. (Like when I lost my father, I could not sleep for three days so I stayed on the forum)

The things I told my girlfriend were not highly personal. Just, " I'm going on a cruise" or on vacation or she would ask what I got for Christmas or my birthday. No big deal. She just blew things out proportion

Your point is well taken. I don't trust her.
 
She gave me:
1. K-PAK reconstruct
2. Kenra intensive emollient treatment
3. Nexxus KERApHIX
4. K-PAK leave-in protectant
5. KeraCare (shampoo)
6. Salerm vital capilar
7. Elasta QP Elucent Power Drops
8. Goldwell Definition Repair Serum
Click to expand...


Wow, does she post here. Very nice products

Anyway you could probably get all of those products except Kenra intensive emollient treatment. They don't make that product by Kenra anymore. It was one of my staples.:mad:

This girl is jealous for some reason. Maybe all she has is the hair thing. It's sad. Good people/friends don't deserve to be treated this way.
 
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what do you need her for? You have us. We are an awesome team of women who will support you emotionally and asthetically!
 
MizAvalon said:
I agree with everyone else. Anyone have any ideas about why she could be acting like that?
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Well, I'll take a stab at that one:

1. If Diamond's hair becomes as long as her "friend's," then the friend will lose attention. She may not want to share her thunder.

2. She'll take the first opportunity she can to try to steal Diamond's man.

Diamond, guuurl, if I were you I would dump those products like they were hot potatoes (even though they are great products). Based on the list of products, it sounds like she is lurking around on some hair board. Just remember that you can grow your hair as long as hers, she is just further along in the process and has been growing it for more years.

I totally agree that I would stop giving her ANY info about what went on in my personal life. I learned a long time ago to follow my instincts, and I believe that we have them for our protection.
 
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