What do you plan to do different from your mother?

[moneychaser]

If you have a daughter (if you aren't already).
#1- I won't relax my daughters hair until shes old enough to decide if she wants one or not.
-Educate her on proper hair care at a young age.
-Won't let he apply a relaxer by herself, until shes of age.
-Take the time out to style her hair.
Can't think of any others right now.

 

[adrienne0914]

well, if i were to have a daughter, i would do everything my mother did. i got my first relaxer when i was about 26. i never heard the terms "good hair" and "bad hair" until i went to school.

as far as hair goes, i think my mother did everything right!

 

[Chipmunk]

I would learn how to comb hair (my mother was horrible)
I would teach her how to properly care for her hair

 

[phynestone]

-teach her what products and techniques are good for natural hair and make her practice them herself
-will NOT let her perm her hair until she is in high school and knows how to take care of her hair naturally and relaxed
-make sure she knows how to do her own braids, and maybe weaves, if she decides to go that route, but I won't let her wear one until she goes off to college and is out of my house

 

[Angelicus]

-learn how to comb, brush and style hair. my mom had 2 sons before me and had NO idea what she was doing.
-talk to daughter about chemicals like dyes and relaxers before putting them in her hair at the age of 7 *shudder*

 

[alliyah4eva203]

she will not be allowed to relax her hair until she is 18. no questions asked.
school her on proper hair care.
not pull and yank at her hair(up to the point where there is tears in her eyes due to the pain) when i'm trying to plait it.

 

[Ayeshia]

realxers will never be bought up until she is curious about them

Until then, I will be doing her hair until she is about 16

 

[Shawn]

I was scared to death of the straightening comb and would run and cry everytime my mother got it out. I got my first perm at age 4. But I know that my mother was doing the best she could and will not criticize her. Frankly, my permed hair was healthy throughout my childhood. I am not in a position to say what I will do when (if) I have a daughter. But I am in a position to say I will do the best I can. I would start with moisturizing, moisturizing, moisturizing.

 

[ChildlikeEmpress]

Like others have said, I will NOT put a perm in my daughter's hair should I ever have a little girl. I won't press it, either, especially not when she's so young that she won't even remember what her natural texture looks like later. And if she ever asks me the question, "Do I have good hair, Mommy?" I'll tell her, "Yes. It's yours, it's healthy, and it's beautiful. That makes it good hair."

~Rochelle.

 

[Honi]

My little stinka is almost a year old and I have her on a beauty routine nightly. She's used to it now.
Like Adrienne said she will never hear the term good vs. bad hair in my house. I will tell her that her hair is alway beautiful.
No perms until she's old enough to decide if she wants one but her hair will be so beautifully taken care of hopefully she will never want one.

 

[candibaby]

I wont relax my daughter's hair. Period. Especially if she doesn't want one and begs me not to.

 

[Devi]

My daugter will be completely natural untile she hits middle school. Then she can texturize, relax or stay natural... whatever she wants. But I will be absolutely sure that her hair will have the proper care no matter what she decides. And she will now how to care for it properly on her own too.

 

[ms_kenesha]

My daughter will be natural (hopefully forever) but at least until she'past puberty or after she's 18.

I will never say good/bad hair & I won't allow anyone in my family to do so either...also nappy will not be said in a disdainful tone in my house.

Moisturize, moisturize...

No excessive use of heat.

Satin pillows from BIRTH!

 

[Daughter]

[ QUOTE ]
Denali03 said:
If you have a daughter (if you aren't already).
#1- I won't relax my daughters hair until shes old enough to decide if she wants one or not.
-Educate her on proper hair care at a young age.
-Won't let he apply a relaxer by herself, until shes of age.
-Take the time out to style her hair.
Can't think of any others right now.

[/ QUOTE ]


I love my mum, she had established some good hair grooming habits but I won't:

* diss nappy hair
* compare nappy hair to curly/straight hair in a negative way
* express disappointment that my daughter's hair is 4A and not 3 like her daddy's

To mum's credit, she never straightened my hair and made sure it was washed weekly without fail. It was always, always well groomed and looked after

 

[patience]

I will not relax my child's hair
I will not allow that 'good hair/bad hair' nonsense in my house!
I will make sure that my children can style and take care of their own hair
I will teach my children to make their own hair products as much as possible
I will teach my children to read labels and ask questions until they understand something and/or are comfortable with something.
I will let my children know that they are beatiful just the way God created them.

 

[bigfrogyrl]

What I plan to do differently...

-No relaxers in my daughter's hair. Not until she is an adult.
-No coloring her hair until she is 18. (I colored mine by myself when I was 15, THAT was a mistake).
-No hot combs or curling irons. I don't want my child to end up with NO HAIR before she gets a chance to mess with it herself.
-I'll wash my child's hair at least twice a week, instead of once every 1-3 months.
-I won't place importance on her hair, rather I'll teach her the total package is beautiful.
-Riding on that, I will have to teach myself that the length of my daughter's hair isn't important. There is no contest to be won, so if I can't manage having a daughter with long hair, I'll keep it short.
-If my daughter decides she wants a perm or color, there is NO WAY I will let my child do her hair by herself just to save money. I started doing my own relaxers when I was 12! No wonder why I didn't have any hair...
-My child WILL take her children's vitamins, not for her hair, but her overall health.
-I will try to use natural products in my child's hair when I can...especially when she is young.

 

[simplycee]

I have a daughter and the one thing my mom did that I refuse to do is press her hair. She is my pride and joy and I think all the practice I did on my dolls hair when I was little was in anticipation of her.

She wears cornrows A LOT and she loves them. She and I are doing the hair experiment together. Her hair is very thick and mid back length. She wants waist length hair but I am aiming for keeping it healthy regardless of the legnth.

Her hair tends to be dry so I use lots of moisture. She sleeps on a satin pillowcase too, mostly because she cannot keep the dang scarf on her head no matter how I tie it.

I wash once a week, condition and she air drys into a pony tail and then we re braid. She just learned how to wash her hair in the shower and loves it.

My mom took care of my hair but she let it be known it was a chore because it was thick and long. I let my daughter know that I think her hair is beautiful and that I love to do it because that is our time together. I think that's the major difference between me and my mom. I love doing her hair, my mom hated doing hair.

 

[sengschick]

I don't wanna bash my mom, but in like almost all of my pics as a little girl, I had this super straight hair from the pressing comb. Anything after age 3 for sure. My mother was mystified by my choice to be natural and still doesn't get my big hair and why I love it so.

Should I be blessed w/a daughter:
-I won't expose her hair to heat during her childhood
-I will teach her how to maintain healthy hair on her own
-I will teach her healthy hair habits
-I will share the dangers of heat, chemicals and neglect
-I will be supportive of her hair choices, even if they include things I don't agree w/. Childhood is about growth and learning and sometimes we have to learn things the hard way.

 

[CocoaButterflyy]

my mom was really good about protecting my hair and not lettingme get a relaxer until I was in college (and thenI snuck and did it) The only things I'd probably do different is:
*do my childs hair a little longer (I started doing my own in 5th grade)
*buy my child more natural and high end products instead of letting her use cheaper products
*wash her hair once a week as opposed to once or twice a month

 

[BronzeBrown]

- I will never relax/texturize her hair
- I will never tell her that I have to comb her hair roughly because it's so thick.
- I will realize that if she's complaining or whimpering as I'm doing her hair, it's not because her hair is too dry/too unmanageable/too tightly coiled. It's because I haven't taken the time to learn to care for it.
- I would tell her that her natural texture is beautiful everytime I sit down to do her hair, and everytime I finish up.
- I will give her more freedom, and never allow her hair to become a chore. Meaning she'll be wearing puffs and twists - low maintenance, pretty styles that don't hurt her.
- I will make getting her hair done a soothing, peaceful ritual and a bonding experience for the two of us. No tugging, no pulling, no sore scalps.
- I will buy her little kid books to read as she's getting her hair done about how pretty black hair is naturally (they already exist!)
- I will never let her watch music videos with video chicks in them!

 

[suncypress]

i'm a newbie, but had to chime in on this one! my mom was overall great with my hair, washing and conditioning weekly (or at most every other week) and keeping it in hair-healthy plaits. my hair was SO THICK that salons would turn me away on a regular basis (once a jcpenney salon sent me home with wet hair b/c they couldn't comb through it) but my mother was ADAMANT about no chemicals in my hair until i was at least 14. people would beg her to let them texturize my hair to make it more manageable (ironically enough now as an adult i've chosen to texturize for precisely that reason after 12 years of natural hair). my mother never allowed any chemicals until i was in high school, though i did get my hair "pressed" regularly. but i had minimal damage from that so my hair was quite long (perhaps bra-strap length?) pre-relaxer.

if i'm blessed w/ a daughter i will treat her hair similarly in terms of keeping it clean, conditioned, and in protective styles, but i will be much better about gentle methods of detangling (i would scream and cry when getting my hair combed out, oh MY). since i now texturize, i wouldn't want to completely refuse her the possibility of chemicals, but i would certainly talk to her early on about the beauty of natural african hair of all textures and explain to her the drawbacks of choosing the chemical route.

and of course direct her to sites like this when she's old enough!

 

[jasmine]

[ QUOTE ]
BronzeBrown said:
- I will never relax/texturize her hair
- I will never tell her that I have to comb her hair roughly because it's so thick.
- I will realize that if she's complaining or whimpering as I'm doing her hair, it's not because her hair is too dry/too unmanageable/too tightly coiled. It's because I haven't taken the time to learn to care for it.
- I would tell her that her natural texture is beautiful everytime I sit down to do her hair, and everytime I finish up.
- I will give her more freedom, and never allow her hair to become a chore. Meaning she'll be wearing puffs and twists - low maintenance, pretty styles that don't hurt her.
- I will make getting her hair done a soothing, peaceful ritual and a bonding experience for the two of us. No tugging, no pulling, no sore scalps.
- I will buy her little kid books to read as she's getting her hair done about how pretty black hair is naturally (they already exist!)
- I will never let her watch music videos with video chicks in them!

[/ QUOTE ]

 

[GinuwinesBoo]

my child wont be getting a relaxer or any sort of chemical until they prove they can take care of it. and i will let them know that if thier hair feels dry, it doesnt mean slap some grease on it

 

[cocoa2122]

I love my mother to death, but I think she just didn't know how to handle my hair. My mother wore her natural fro up until I was in 7th grade. I got my first relaxer when I was about 5, and from there after she would apply my relaxers. My hair was a hot mess in pictures up until the 8th grade when I got all the damage cut off and started to get it professionally done. Now, I am natural, and never ever plan on relaxing my daughter's hair if I ever have one.

 

[sabie19]

I will not relax my daughters hair. If she begs me too, I will show her my pics before the relaxer, during the relaxer and since I am transitioning now, after the relaxer.

 

[pookeylou]

On this issue of hair...I wish you all had been my mother when I was growing up...

The wise choices you have outlined for your "daughters", real or otherwise...are extremely loving and thoughtful.

Any daughter growing up under these teachings...would end up proud of thier hair, proud of themselves, and would not give into societies idea of beauty...but love their hair and take excellent care of it.

Wonderful.

 

[Patrice]

If I am blessed with a lil girl in the near future I will enforce these rules of hair care

1)wash hair at least once a week
2)deep condition at least twice a month
3)moisturize twice a day
4)sleep on a satin pillowcase
5)kiddie multi vitamin daily
6)no weaves until age 16
7)no curling irons or flat irons until age 16
8)buns and updues as a main hairstyle
9)no grease or gel at all
10)Hair dressers only on special occassions
11)NO RELAXERS until age 16

my daughter might despise me a lil for all of this but I know she will thank me when she turns 16 and is swinging around some long beautiful healthy bra strap length hair, especially if she decides to relax it lol she will be the envy of lil girls everywhere. If my mother had enforced some of these rules of hair care on me who knows maybe I would be waist length right now.

 

[kitchen_tician]

I must say, Moms did a wonderful job.

But I will make sure that my daughter does not wear tight pony tails and braids that make their eyes almost close, with those tiny white and red bumps!!!

I work with little kids and they always tell me their hair is too tight so I'll loosen the bow-bows, so they can think. Often times moms comb and braid their kids hair while they're sleeping and they don't know it's too tight until they wake up. Poor Babies!