What did you do when you met HIM

[phynestone]

...as in your husband? When you knew it was going to be long-term, did you decide to tackle personal issues such as taking care of your body, working on becoming a better cook/hostess/housekeeper, finances and what have you? Did you have all on lock or needed improvement here or there?

I'm already doing these things, but sometimes I feel like I have a long way to go. I know I'm not ready to meet HIM right now.

Married ladies, please respond. Or send me a pm if you don't feel comfortable posting in the thread.

 

[Whimsy]

I met my SO when I was 19. I did NOT have it all together, I knew very early on that he was "THE ONE" and the only thing I did to prepare myself was be the best girlfriend I could be with him, and the best woman I could be when apart from him. We grew up together from that point to today.

I don't feel you have to have your life 100% in order before you meet someone, but that's just me. I do feel that you have to be happy in general alone before you meet the right one.

 

[SistaSista]

I met DH in high school and didn't get into a serious relationship with him until I turned 23. He knew so much about me already. We were very close friends and he was very close with my family. I didn't have to do anything special. I don't think that I would do anything out of the ordinary if our situation was different. I would be myself. If that meant cooking for him everday then that's what I would do. But if that's not my style then I wouldn't. You don't want to start doing something in the beginning to get a man that you really don't do normally because you are going to have to keep it up. Be yourself.

 

[MoniintheMiddle]

I think there is always room for self improvement but for the most part, I was pretty self sufficient (I was 31 when I got married). i had my own home, paid my own bills, cooked, and all that other stuff. However, i was at a point in my life where I really decided to focus on my relationship with Christ....

OP, i think you should just continue to work on self not so much in preparation for a mate but for self improvement...the rest will come

 

[BeautifulFlower]

I'm already doing these things, but sometimes I feel like I have a long way to go. I know I'm not ready to meet HIM right now.

What makes you think you're not ready?

Trust you'll never have it all together and thats a reality of life. One of the beauty in a relationship is growing and learning together. Now if you're selfish or have some serious trust issues then thats understandable. But if its the material things like cooking/cleaning/weight/etc...thats something you can work on over time. And you may even find a man that doesnt even care if you have any of these things intact.

 

[JustKiya]

I met DH when I was 23.
I had decided he was the 'one' when I was 24.

I had been on my own for almost 8 years at that point, and I left my mothers house knowing how to cook, clean, and maintain my finances.

Meeting him had utterly nothing to do with my own self-improvement goals.

 

[Nina_deF]

I met DH when I was 23.
I had decided he was the 'one' when I was 24.

I had been on my own for almost 8 years at that point, and I left my mothers house knowing how to cook, clean, and maintain my finances.

Meeting him had utterly nothing to do with my own self-improvement goals.

Thank you!

If you're not ready than what's the rush?

Do what you want to do with yourself.

When you met THE ONE he should except you as is, applaude your goals and achievments but not expect them.

And you shouldn't either settle for a fixer upper.
If he has goals for improvement, good (if it's up your alley).

If not, then it's your choice.

 

[phynestone]

I don't expect to have it all together and I don't know if that's some type of Christian rhetoric that many women are told before they are introduced to Him, but I am working on myself.

No offense, but I do hear this quite a bit.

 

[Glib Gurl]

...as in your husband? When you knew it was going to be long-term, did you decide to tackle personal issues such as taking care of your body, working on becoming a better cook/hostess/housekeeper, finances and what have you? Did you have all on lock or needed improvement here or there?

I'm already doing these things, but sometimes I feel like I have a long way to go. I know I'm not ready to meet HIM right now.

Married ladies, please respond. Or send me a pm if you don't feel comfortable posting in the thread.

OP, I identify with what you're asking here . . . now that I'm on the verge of a real, grown up relationship, I am thinking about domestic things that I never really cared a rip about . . . why bother learning to cook if I'm only cooking for one? Who cares if I carry a balance on my credit cards - I only have to worry about myself, right? But the idea of being a partner with someone makes me think differently about these things.

Trust you'll never have it all together and thats a reality of life. One of the beauty in a relationship is growing and learning together. Now if you're selfish or have some serious trust issues then thats understandable.

I love the red text As for the purple, I *am* very selfish . . . living on your own for 10 years will do that to you But this whole situation is challenging me to be less selfish in my thinking . . . something I haven't even considered in a long long time.

When you met THE ONE he should except you as is, applaude your goals and achievments but not expect them.

And you shouldn't either settle for a fixer upper.
If he has goals for improvement, good (if it's up your alley).

to this!!!

 

[Ms Red]

About 12-18 months prior to meeting my boyfriend, I began working on myself in various areas (saving money for a house down payment; losing weight; updating my wardrobe/make-up; being more sociable, etc.)

I believe the positive and productive state of mind I was in at the time really contributed to our meeting. About a year ago, I really started to get the urge to *really* learn how to cook. I knew a few things but didn't have the need to put together meals... but when I met him, eventually I wanted to learn how to cook. It's been a great journey overall.

 

[MissMeWithThatIsh]

I just kept living my life and doing what I was doing - improving the self and learning to develop my own life

 

[hopeful]

I was just 18 when I met my dh. All this "preparation" stuff I never had heard of or thought about. We were both in college, had similiar goals and were attracted to each other. I think some ladies are really overthinking this. If a guy is attracted to you, likes the kind of person you are, and is ready for a commitment, he will care less if you are the perfect cook or housekeeper. Over the years you grow together and learn together. Now if you are (not you op, you in general) are on drugs, drink heavily, have a terrible credit score, or are a filthy person that is different. But perfection is not required to be loved.

 

[likewtr4chklit]

I was just 18 when I met my dh. All this "preparation" stuff I never had heard of or thought about. We were both in college, had similiar goals and were attracted to each other. I think some ladies are really overthinking this. If a guy is attracted to you, likes the kind of person you are, and is ready for a commitment, he will care less if you are the perfect cook or housekeeper. Over the years you grow together and learn together. Now if you are (not you op, you in general) are on drugs, drink heavily, have a terrible credit score, or are a filthy person that is different. But perfection is not required to be loved.

Very well said

I also met dh when I was 18 (I'm 23). I knew how to cook and keep a house, but I was still in college, and was far from being a financial guru. My body was not perfect but I liked it and apparently so did he. I was happy with me. I didn't do anything special to "prepare". If he's the one for you, you won't have to jump through hoops. Being a better you is #1 no matter what stage of your life you are in. Even if you don't see marriage in the future at all.