What are your thoughts about respect in a marriage?

[twilight80]

I know that all couples are different so I am interested to know what is your spoken or unspoken rules when it comes to respect in your marriage or relationship?

For example is it disrespectful to look at a half naked guy/girl on tv? Is it ok to have friends of the opposite sex?

Have you ever done something that you considered innocent but your SO considered it disrespectful?

 

[cutiepiebabygirl]

I'm not married...so not sure if my 2 cents counts but....

I do NOT believe in yelling or cursing at each other. I honestly believe and actually had a relationship where neither of those happened.

I don't mind my SO admiring another woman...as long as it's not "drooling...mouth-opened with a longIing desire in his eyes" LOL. If he loves and respects me...he won't do that anyway, and I will give him that same respect.

If I'm in a relationship, I trust that person..so a friend of the opposite sex is not an issue. When I say trust I'm not talking "blind trust" where I'm completely jaded. LOL

**Example** My man would NEVER EVER ____________".

Another biggie for me is having a disagreement in front of friends/family/co-workers. I've seen that play out in real life and it's ugly......

If there is an issue that occurs publicly, I want it to be privately discussed/addressed.


I once dated a guy who wanted to dress me. If I went out with friends...he would complain about what I had on (ie: dress..heels...sexy top..jeans). Now I've never dressed whorish or had body parts visible..besides cleavage...but he felt my "party attire" was disrespectful.

I had always dressed that way and I let him know..I wasn't going to stop...and it wasn't what I wore to the party that was disrespectful...it was what I did at the party...and I wasn't doing anything.


Yeah we uh broke up...not because of that in particular...he was a control freak!!!

 

[Britt]

Another biggie for me is having a disagreement in front of friends/family/co-workers. I've seen that play out in real life and it's ugly......

If there is an issue that occurs publicly, I want it to be privately discussed/addressed.

This right here! I would try my hardest to not argue in front of others with my SO/DH. It's not cool at all. Other's should not be so privy to your arguments. Also, talking down to your SO in front of others is another big . I'd be pissed and angry if that were done to me and I would try my best to not do it him, knowing my how much pride my SO has, that would certainly cause an argument between us. I have a friend who rips into her SO all the time in front of others and it's not cool at all. There have been times I'm driving with them and I literally cringe in the backseat from the way she gets in his arse . She even b!tches him around about the way he drives when he's driving.

 

[MD_Lady]

...Another biggie for me is having a disagreement in front of friends/family/co-workers. I've seen that play out in real life and it's ugly......

If there is an issue that occurs publicly, I want it to be privately discussed/addressed...

YES!!! Our business is OUR business and I'm not about to tolerate a 2 person conversation becoming a 3+ person conversation by having "public" disagreements or bringing others into the discussion to get their opinion. To put it bluntly- If you're not a part of my marriage, your opinion about what happens within it is irrelevant.

I also think it's disrespectful to throw something back in someone's face. Whether something is said in confidence or just in private, I think it is EXTREMELY disrespectful to bring it up later to prove a point or "win" an argument. When DH and I were dating, we were having lunch with a friend and, during a lull in the conversation, DH make a remark concerning a topic we'd discussed privately (non-sexual, if it matters). I tried to brush it off and subtly downplay it (since we were in public and had a friend with us), but he kept on pressing me... bad move. Let's just say that happened a little over 7 years ago and DH hasn't come close to pulling a stunt remotely like that since.

 

[MizAvalon]

This right here! I would try my hardest to not argue in front of others with my SO/DH. It's not cool at all. Other's should not be so privy to your arguments. Also, talking down to your SO in front of others is another big . I'd be pissed and angry if that were done to me and I would try my best to not do it him, knowing my how much pride my SO has, that would certainly cause an argument between us. I have a friend who rips into her SO all the time in front of others and it's not cool at all. There have been times I'm driving with them and I literally cringe in the backseat from the way she gets in his arse . She even b!tches him around about the way he drives when he's driving.

Completely agree with this. That is a big no-no.

 

[mmeadows1]

Respect for me is:
1. Not demeaning someone.
2. Dealing with issues and not becoming passive aggressive
3. Keeping the relationship between me and that person . Don't add friends/family to the mix.
4. It is really listening to the other person's opinions ... and it okay to disagree/ have contrasting opinions.
5. Respect is know what would make your partner feel bad/sensitive; and when possible not doing it. This could range from not putting down his family as often to not making comments about his bad cooking.
6. Respect is based on trust. If you don't trust a person with your feelings... its harder to have the tough discussions that are critical if the relationship's success.