What am I doing wrong? Pics included... long post though!

[livesoundtech]

Hi everyone!

I joined LHCF at the end of September and I'm currently trying to recover from chemically damaged hair. I have some pics to share, and I was wondering if anyone could offer any advice. The advice I've received so far has been amazing

My current regimen:
- shampoo 2x a week with pH balanced biotin shampoo (diluted)
- condition with Herbal Essences Long Term Relationship and Pantene Relaxed and Natural (I use both)
- cowash 3x a week (with the same conditioners as above)
- DC every Friday
- direct heat (flat iron) about once per month
- 5000mcg biotin per day, along with multivitamins and calcium (I eat these, I don't put them in my hair haha!)

I have colored my hair every month since I was about 10 years old, and I don't even know my natural hair color or hair type. I can't take it anymore, and I've decided never to dye my hair or process it in any way, shape, or form... ever again. I've been "natural" since August 15th and have about an inch of new growth. To my disappointment, it is not looking thicker or healthier as I had expected.

Today I washed, conditioned, and flat-ironed after air-drying. This is at the halfway point.

I detangled the hair and then straightened it. When I finished straightening, it was silky and smooth (and knot free).

I put my straightener away and ran a few errands. When I touched my hair again, I couldn't get my fingers through. Here's why:

The thing is, I didn't even DO anything... I just sat down and went on the computer and ended up back at square one with knots everywhere. Not just some strands though... ALL of it. Some knots at the roots, some further down... but everywhere. This happens no matter WHAT I do to my hair and I honestly don't know what to do. I feel like I've tried everything.

I KNOW my hair has potential because in 2006 I went to an Indian salon... I closed my eyes and have no idea what they did, but here's what it looked like:

I have NO idea what they did but it was sooooo silky, smooth, and felt thick. It felt like HAIR, not like straw.

I don't want to use more chemicals. What can I do to get my hair healthy again? In the last pic, the strands were able to glide across each other and not get tangled into giant balls of knots. This only lasted a couple of days though... eventually I had to wash it. I've tried getting my hair done again and it never turned out like this. Every subsequent salon visit has been an absolute failure.

I'm starting to feel so hopeless... I guess I just need encouragement? I truly feel like I have tried everything. Is there something I'm missing? Something I could be doing to get my hair to feel like hair? I cut a few inches but had split ends within days, due to the severe damage I've done to my hair... some stylists have turned me away saying they had no idea what to do with my hair.

I don't know my hair type because I can't remember the last time I saw it natural... but if it helps any, I'm of Sicilian descent and most of my family has very thick, course hair. I THINK mine was like that at one point too.

Any advice would be sooo appreciated. Thanks ladies! You've all been so helpful and I'm really glad I joined LHCF. I will never touch another box of hair dye again. Ever.

EDIT: I separate my hair into sections and braid before bed, while putting conditioner on the ends... is this helpful at all?

 

[MyAngelEyez~C~U]

Try an apple cider vinegar rinse (acv), I don't know why I think your cuticles are raised. hth.

 

[Keshieshimmer]

My first thought is to use some protective styling until you can get these knots undercontrol. I would up my deep conditioning. Do you use heat with the DC? That heat will help the conditioner to penetrate the hair. Have you tried leave-ins for your ends?

 

[livesoundtech]

My first thought is to use some protective styling until you can get these knots undercontrol. I would up my deep conditioning. Do you use heat with the DC? That heat will help the conditioner to penetrate the hair. Have you tried leave-ins for your ends?

I usually don't use heat with the DC... but yes, I have tried leave-ins for my ends. I'll try using heat next time I DC. Thanks!

 

[Nonie]

I dunno anything about color and hardly much about chemically processed hair. But it doesn't seem like you're doing anything wrong as many people have success with those products you're using. It sounds to me like your hair is beyond repair and will have to just be cut. Doesn't mean you have to do a BC right away, but methinks that you might have to stop wearing your hair down and start doing buns. If not just for the convenience of not having to deal with your hair, for the sake of having it look not so obviously damaged. Chicoro, in her album, shares her bunning method which involves braiding her hair when drenched in conditioner, and then after smoothing the front back to join the braids in a ponytail, she braids that remaining section and baggies all that hair and then wraps it with a cloth/scarf to hide the baggy. I imagine a phony bun would work too if you don't want a scarf.

Have you considered getting a weave? Not the glue kind but actually get your hair braided and then get hair sewn in. You can then sport a healthy look while your hair gets a break and then each time you get the weave redone, have them trim a little of the damaged hair. In time you'd have a head of nothing but healthy new hair. But you will have to make sure you find someone with a history of weaving hair w/o damage like Reniece.

Alternatively, instead of wasting shampoo, etc on such long hair that is damaged, would you consider wigs if you aren't comfortable sporting a short do? You wouldn't have to chop your down to new growth but you could get rid of most of it and then keep it plaited while you wore wigs. Less manipulation does do a lot of people some good in retaining length.

 

[msa]

You said that you used to dye your hair every month...I don't know if you only dyed the new growth or all of it. But, the point is your hair is probably chemically damaged beyond repair because of your frequent use of dye. Kind of the same as if someone relaxed all their hair every month. Eventually, your hair will be past the point of no return.

There's not really anything you can do to make your hair healthy again if it's completely damaged. You could try protein treatments, moisturizing dc's, and whatever else. It may make it feel better temporarily, but it won't magically repair the damage. Also, flat ironing on high temps will only make it worse.

Unfortunately, you may just have to continue growing your hair out and chop off the damaged parts. It's probably better (and less shocking) if you trim little by little as your hair grows in. You could maintain the same length you have now and eventually you'll have only healthy hair left.

If your hair is damaged beyond repair, it sucks. But at least you're in a good place to move forward and learn what not to do in the future.

ETA: I just realized I posted almost the same exact thing in your other thread.
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=301453&highlight=

I knew this sounded familiar lol.

 

[msa]

I dunno anything about color and hardly much about chemically processed hair. But it doesn't seem like you're doing anything wrong as many people have success with those products you're using. It sounds to me like your hair is beyond repair and will have to just be cut.

We must have been typing at the same time

 

[livesoundtech]

You said that you used to dye your hair every month...I don't know if you only dyed the new growth or all of it. But, the point is your hair is probably chemically damaged beyond repair because of your frequent use of dye. Kind of the same as if someone relaxed all their hair every month. Eventually, your hair will be past the point of no return.

There's not really anything you can do to make your hair healthy again if it's completely damaged. You could try protein treatments, moisturizing dc's, and whatever else. It may make it feel better temporarily, but it won't magically repair the damage. Also, flat ironing on high temps will only make it worse.

Unfortunately, you may just have to continue growing your hair out and chop off the damaged parts. It's probably better (and less shocking) if you trim little by little as your hair grows in. You could maintain the same length you have now and eventually you'll have only healthy hair left.

If your hair is damaged beyond repair, it sucks. But at least you're in a good place to move forward and learn what not to do in the future.

I can't believe I was stupid enough to dye ALL of it every month... I didn't just do the new growth. For some reason, that honestly never occurred to me. I watched my mom cover her super-thick hair in dye and I just did the same... I guess it's just like relaxing all of your hair instead of just the new growth... every month!

I guess I'll just have to keep cutting off the damage. Lesson learned...

 

[Filmatic]

I think an ACV rinse would also help since you say you have dyed your hair before. Also what kind of heat protectant did you use?

Also maybe you can try a serum to counteract the knot. Have you done a search and destroy for splits?

 

[livesoundtech]

I dunno anything about color and hardly much about chemically processed hair. But it doesn't seem like you're doing anything wrong as many people have success with those products you're using. It sounds to me like your hair is beyond repair and will have to just be cut. Doesn't mean you have to do a BC right away, but methinks that you might have to stop wearing your hair down and start doing buns. If not just for the convenience of not having to deal with your hair, for the sake of having it look not so obviously damaged. Chicoro, in her album, shares her bunning method which involves braiding her hair when drenched in conditioner, and then after smoothing the front back to join the braids in a ponytail, she braids that remaining section and baggies all that hair and then wraps it with a cloth/scarf to hide the baggy. I imagine a phony bun would work too if you don't want a scarf.

Have you considered getting a weave? Not the glue kind but actually get your hair braided and then get hair sewn in. You can then sport a healthy look while your hair gets a break and then each time you get the weave redone, have them trim a little of the damaged hair. In time you'd have a head of nothing but healthy new hair. But you will have to make sure you find someone with a history of weaving hair w/o damage like Reniece.

Alternatively, instead of wasting shampoo, etc on such long hair that is damaged, would you consider wigs if you aren't comfortable sporting a short do? You wouldn't have to chop your down to new growth but you could get rid of most of it and then keep it plaited while you wore wigs. Less manipulation does do a lot of people some good in retaining length.

Honestly, I would get a weave in a heartbeat... I just don't know much of anything about hair (obviously, considering the fact that I let mine get to this point!) so I don't want to do anything without thoroughly researching it. This is something I should look into, though. Thanks for the suggestion!

 

[Nonie]

We must have been typing at the same time

Great minds think alike

 

[livesoundtech]

I think an ACV rinse would also help since you say you have dyed your hair before. Also what kind of heat protectant did you use?

Also maybe you can try a serum to counteract the knot. Have you done a search and destroy for splits?

I constantly search for splits and I've dusted my ends a few times... but within a week or so they are just split again. I'm thinking of just chopping it all off and starting over. If I cut it to shoulder length, I'll still have damaged hair but it probably won't be as bad as the rest of it =/

 

[msa]

I can't believe I was stupid enough to dye ALL of it every month... I didn't just do the new growth. For some reason, that honestly never occurred to me. I watched my mom cover her super-thick hair in dye and I just did the same... I guess it's just like relaxing all of your hair instead of just the new growth... every month!

I guess I'll just have to keep cutting off the damage. Lesson learned...

Don't feel stupid. We have all done really unhealthy things to our before we came here. When you know better, you do better. Now that you know, take the information and just move forward. Like you said, lesson learned.

I agree with Nonie, buns may be your best friend. You could also try braidouts so that you don't have to flat iron. Generally, a braidout is when you braid the wet hair (either in cornrows or regular individual braids) and take it out when it's dry. It ends up wavy (tight or loose depending on your hair).

Good luck.

 

[tiffers]

Do you Chelate? Have you ever tried Porosity Control? How often do you wear your hair down? Do you wear protective styles?

 

[livesoundtech]

Do you Chelate? Have you ever tried Porosity Control? How often do you wear your hair down? Do you wear protective styles?

I wear my hair in loose buns, usually... if I wear it down, it ends up tangled. If not in a bun, I French braid it... and occasionally I put in cornrows so that I won't have to deal with knots every day! I recently ordered a satin hair wrap to use at night. Hopefully it arrives soon =]

Would you recommend getting my hair braided and leaving it this way for awhile? I used to get cornrows but never left them in for too long.

About porosity, I'm not sure how porous my hair is. Is there a way to find out?

Thanks for the advice!

 

[Irresistible]

interestingly your hair looks thick and healthy

but for how it feels while you transition , do you do hot oil treatments?


it might help you get through this stage some

 

[MyAngelEyez~C~U]

I think an ACV rinse would also help since you say you have dyed your hair before. Also what kind of heat protectant did you use?

Also maybe you can try a serum to counteract the knot. Have you done a search and destroy for splits?

OP, Try this just to see if it will help.

 

[livesoundtech]

OP, Try this just to see if it will help.

I will try that. Thanks for the suggestion

 

[livesoundtech]

interestingly your hair looks thick and healthy

but for how it feels while you transition , do you do hot oil treatments?


it might help you get through this stage some

Yeah, I love hot oil treatments but I have slacked a bit lately. I used to do them 2-3 times a week using the VO5 hot oil, but it got really expensive after awhile. I use olive oil as a prepoo sometimes... would this work as a hot oil treatment as well?

 

[likewtr4chklit]

I agree with the others, you're gonna have to chop, chop. I know it sounds scary, but I'm doing it too ( I cut a small chunk last night).

 

[Lanea87]

I say keep doing what your doing, it seems fine. But like the ladies said you will have to cut more often....Also all the advice seems good too, try them out and see how it works.

 

[PrettyBrownEyes]

I would get a good trim to start off with, reduce the frequency of coloring your hair or eliminate it altogether. I am not into the co-washing but, if its working for you why not? Make sure you are using good shampoos, conditioners for your hair condition.

 

[Evolving78]

you are coloring your hair too much. take a break from the color. cowash and deep condition for a couple of months. i would bun it too and not wear it out for awhile. also, i recommend a trim. about an inch.

 

[livesoundtech]

you are coloring your hair too much. take a break from the color. cowash and deep condition for a couple of months. i would bun it too and not wear it out for awhile. also, i recommend a trim. about an inch.

I entirely quit coloring my hair in August and have decided never to dye it again. I cut three inches off in September =/ maybe I'll trim again.

 

[spacetygrss]

I agree with the other ladies in regards to trimming, bunning, ACV rinses, etc.

Also, what are you using to deep condition? Alot of people just leave their cheapies on as deep conditioners, but that's not really their purpose. You need a true DC. You can check out Joico, Paul Mitchell, Sebastians, Aubrey Organics, etc (any of the major lines will have some kind of moisturing DC and a protein DC). If you don't want to go expensive you can get knock offs at Sally's that work well or try the Aussie line. Just make sure that it's truley a DC.

 

[Irresistible]

Yeah, I love hot oil treatments but I have slacked a bit lately. I used to do them 2-3 times a week using the VO5 hot oil, but it got really expensive after awhile. I use olive oil as a prepoo sometimes... would this work as a hot oil treatment as well?

Yeah girl , you could warm the oil or use the oil with heat ,either way it will work

 

[drasgrl]

I believe less is more. I think you are doing too much to it. Try not washing as often. Try cutting it down to 3x a week or maybe every 4 days. If you want color try henna. You said you went to an Indian salon that may be what they did to it. It also helps condition and strengthen your hair. Detangle your hair in the shower. Use a leave in conditioner and/or a moisturizer and make sure you moisturize daily. Just put it in a bun and leave it and moisturize daily.

 

[Honi]

I love the picture of your hair in your avatar.

You didn't mention how you dried your hair in your regimen.

You probably have some color damage and your cuticles are rasied causing you to have that velcro hair. For some reason I see it happen in the back and near the nape.

Have you considered shampooing less for a bit? You shampoo twice a week which I think is too much even though it's diluted which can still cause dryness.

Those knots and matted hair are not as bad as you think. I've seen worse! They can be carefully picked out and when you get through them you will find that there is shed hair in there wrapped around your strands.

I would ACV rinse like a couple of posters suggested to lay the cuticles down, rinse and then use a slippery condish OR oil rinse followed by an ACV rinse on the matted sections. Let it dry half way and then use a rat tail comb carefully working from the bottom up. It will take time so don't rush and stop if you get frustrated. A similar technique can be found here http://growafrohairlong.com/takingoutplaits.html. She has uploaded a free video which I find helpful.

In the meantime, shampoo less or you can try Sally's version of Wen called Hair One. Use really good moisturizing deep conditioners like AO white camellia or honey suckle rose (my personal favs). Trim a little as you grow your hair out, use minimal heat and airdry. If you can't do that airdry your hair about 80% then blow dry. Keep your hair and ends moisturized and just bun it.

 

[ichephren]

Your hair is most likely porous from the excessive coloring. I agree with the suggestion of porosity control. Also, Joico products are of slightly low PH that should help with the tangling. The Indian salon probably got your hair so smooth by using serum, which can help mask dry hair issues. I would personally not get a weave or plaits b/c I find that they cause more tangling on my hair. If I were you, I would deal with the porosity issue and just deep condition more often, like twice a week, and stop using heat until my hair gets better.

 

[Nefertiti0906]

Thanks for posting this OP, I have the same problem and I ALWAYS cut my hair every two years because I can never figure out how and when it went wrong.