Weave = Confidence???

[Pretty1008]

Hey ladies!
Is it just me or do you ever notice how some women act completely different when they have weave in their hair??? I personally think that most AA women are beautiful and unique regardless of the amount of hair they have, but I still see so many of us not feeling like we are worthy until we have long weave hanging down our backs!!!! Why is that? Why can't these women see that they are beautiful with & without weave and that it shouldn't determine how they feel about themselves?

For example I know many friends who have a short hair (but enough to style & look very cute) yet they hide behind weaves!!! I mean its almost shameful, when they aren't wearing weave they try to act invisible, then as soon as they get a weave they walk different, talk different, they wanna wear flashy outfits and be the center of attention, in some cases they even treat you different (like nasty), I just don't get it. Its like they become a different person. Seriously I have hair of my own (almost APL) and personally I don't have anything against weave because weave can be a convenient, pretty & fun way to switch up your look if you're into it. But I really don't dig chicks who think they are better than you, or think that you should be jealous of them because they have a head of fake hair. Because at the end of the day they wouldn't be caught dead without it.... Do you ladies know women like this?

 

[Renovating]

I have a friend like this. We've been friends for 2 yrs and I've never even seen her without a weave or a wig! She said she doesn't let anyone see her without it. When we would work out together, she would even work out in her wig. It gets too hot when you're working out for that and she doesn't even have a medical condition.

 

[chelleypie810]

I know at this point I am staying weaved up just for the fact that I HATE my cut and i don't feel confident with the current cut I have. its the shortest my hair has ever been and i don't like it and i can only wear some styles with it. People keep telling me how short it is and im like wtf i know worry bout yourself not me. Now i'm a CONFIDENT person..basically no one can tell me nothing but when my hair isn't to my satisfaction then there is a problem and i'll just hide it until it grows back. And i know my hair will grow back because it has many times before. I have no problems with a short cut but when its not cut how i want it thats when the confidence is lacking in my hair.

 

[dm81]

My sister and cousin are this way, unfortunately. The have both said that weaves make them "prettier" and that they get treated differently, especially from the fellas, with long hair.

It's very sad, because the weaves have WRECKED their hair....so as soon as they take one out they put another in.

 

[chelleypie810]

DM81 I love ur hair in ur siggy! This was the style I was going for when I got my layers..Now I have this ***** layers starting at the top of my ear and my longest layer just above full nl. i hate it! hmph! sorry to hijack for a min.

 

[Pretty1008]

Chelleypie810 I know exactly what you mean, when I first started transitioning my hair was cut so much (my stylist cut 6 inches off claiming it was all damaged). I was ok with that because I wanted a fresh start, but I began to notice that my stylist would trim it EVERY OTHER VISIT! I was mortified that I was coming to her for almost 3 months and my hair still hadn't grown long enough for me to at least put it in a pony tail holder, that was the shortest my hair had ever been!!.. for about 2 months I was I miserable with that and decided to stop going to her, once I could get my hair into a ponytail I started wearing a 8" deep wavy track & pinning it up like a "natural" looking bun.. my hair has grown tremendously since (check my profile pics).
I think you and I on the other hand did "weave" for reasons of acheiving a goal ( growth & retention), but these women I'm referring to live to wear weaves and don't feel good about themselves without it. You know what I mean??

 

[lilsparkle825]

Hair anorexia is real, and it doesn't have to be growing out of your scalp for it to affect you. That's about all I'll say on that.

 

[Kerryann]

Weave does give you a high because you can do anything to it you can fry it, tangle it knot it i mean anything and all you need to do is wash it and do it all over again

you can change the style on a hour to hour basis if you want to and be a diva all day and night now with your own hair as soon as we think about heat and ends and damage its a wrap we cant do all those things

 

[dm81]

DM81 I love ur hair in ur siggy! This was the style I was going for when I got my layers..Now I have this ***** layers starting at the top of my ear and my longest layer just above full nl. i hate it! hmph! sorry to hijack for a min.

Thank you!

 

[glamazon386]

It happens.... For many people it's instant gratification.

 

[washize]

I know ALOT! of people like this! and its not just AA women either. In highschool There was a group of girls white and black who would sew, and clip in extentions EVERY WEEK IN CLASS! Then they would act like they were the ish Once it was all in.

I don't get it. If you are fly, you are fly. It isn't the clothes and the hair that makes you look good. It is your looks, and your personality. How you present yourself usually comes first. Guys normally don't even notice what a girl is wearing, or if her hair is real or not.

 

[LiberianGirl]

I've had a weave three times in my life and I would never say it made me feel more confident, actually it made me feel self-conscious. I just felt fake. No matter how well the weave blended with my natural hair, I was still paranoid that people would see my tracks.

 

[ashessehsa]

Hey ladies!
Is it just me or do you ever notice how some women act completely different when they have weave in their hair???

I call this "Furonda Syndrome." If anyone here watched cycle 6 of America's Next Top Model, they would know what I'm talking about. As soon as they put a long weave in her hair, she turned into a completely different person--cocky, but definitely more confident.

 

[txcurly10]

I've had a weave three times in my life and I would never say it made me feel more confident, actually it made me feel self-conscious. I just felt fake. No matter how well the weave blended with my natural hair, I was still paranoid that people would see my tracks.

That is EXACTLY how I felt with my sew-in. I was constantly stressed about if someone could tell it was a weave, could you see my tracks, etc etc. It was such a relief not to have it anymore.

 

[chelleypie810]

Chelleypie810 I know exactly what you mean, when I first started transitioning my hair was cut so much (my stylist cut 6 inches off claiming it was all damaged). I was ok with that because I wanted a fresh start, but I began to notice that my stylist would trim it EVERY OTHER VISIT! I was mortified that I was coming to her for almost 3 months and my hair still hadn't grown long enough for me to at least put it in a pony tail holder, that was the shortest my hair had ever been!!.. for about 2 months I was I miserable with that and decided to stop going to her, once I could get my hair into a ponytail I started wearing a 8" deep wavy track & pinning it up like a "natural" looking bun.. my hair has grown tremendously since (check my profile pics).
I think you and I on the other hand did "weave" for reasons of acheiving a goal ( growth & retention), but these women I'm referring to live to wear weaves and don't feel good about themselves without it. You know what I mean??

I see!

 

[bellebebe]

Fact! it's just effect that long pretty hair has on a woman. Not only does it make her more attractive, it boosts her confidence level which makes her look even more attractive.

 

[PeaceFlow]

I noticed after the Tyra reveal that I feel better with add ons because of the thickness. I might get long hair but the thickness never, when I have my real hair I notice its thinner. I dont wear weave but I would wear a track when I get my goal length and it will prob make me feel more attractive

I dont like wearing fake hair but I'm gonna miss that volume of the add on.

Not that I act up myself because of fake hair lol.

 

[eyunka]

I'm sure there are women out there who may act different when there is some extra but i have never experienced anyone IRL acting different. Matter or fact I have work associates but we are on a speak only relationship. The one person I do know very well....Well she has hair down her darn hair (its all hers).

I will admit I have an extra pep in my step when i add a little extra, i think its due to the fact I'm not happy with the current lenght. Adding lenght satisfies me and makes me happy

 

[mrsjohnson75]

I know ALOT! of people like this! and its not just AA women either. In highschool There was a group of girls white and black who would sew, and clip in extentions EVERY WEEK IN CLASS! Then they would act like they were the ish Once it was all in.

I don't get it. If you are fly, you are fly. It isn't the clothes and the hair that makes you look good. It is your looks, and your personality. How you present yourself usually comes first. Guys normally don't even notice what a girl is wearing, or if her hair is real or not.

..................................................

 

[Pretty1008]

I hear where all you ladies are coming from & I appreciate the feedback. I also agree with "Washize" that "when you are fly you are fly" POINT BLANK PERIOD! I don't feel comfortable rocking weaves, but like I said the occasional bun or ponytail has helped me out a lot. I just hope more women (especially AA women) embrace what they have, no matter what that is, and rock weaves out of a desire to switch up their looks and not out of necessity...

 

[Beaute Noire]

Oh I was so guilty of this a few short years ago

 

[Nonie]

Hmm...I don't know if it really bothers me at all that people act differently when they have a weave. I don't know if they think they're better than me (never actually looked at it like that coz that'd be rather delusional so I'd probably feel sorry for them. )

No on a serious note, it would bother me more if they are so unhappy with their own hair. But that they feel better, walk taller, etc with the new hair...*shrug* I tend not to worry too much about other folk. I know how nice I feel when I get a manicure at the salon, even though I do a good job myself. I feel so happy and have a new pep in my step and have to stop myself showing everyone I meet how beautiful my nails are. I imagine that's the same "I feel so beautiful" air that people have when they get a cut they were always dying to have. So I guess I don't expect them not feel on top of the world. I think people should do what makes them feel good about themselves, and more power to them.

Now if they're tossing the horse's mane in my face and talking about how everyone else looks ugly, Houston we have a problem. I don't like haughty people, but I do like confident people.

 

[anon123]

Well, it's kind of not shocking if you think about it. People think long hair is pretty. They think it gives you a boost in the looks department. Like a pretty dress. When people are dressed nicely, they also tend to be more self-confident. Seems rather similar to me.

 

[Kneechay]

i think it's like makeup, people feel more confident/pretty with it. it's an accessory for cosmetics, especially a weave which feels like it's yours. we all do things in the sake of beauty to boost our confidence. i know this may sound extreme, but I liken weaves to the effects of cosmetic surgery on a person.

For the most part, the sew-in was a means to an end. I didn't necessarily feel more confident with the longer hair because I knew people knew it wasn't mine. i know when i got my weave cut into a bob, i that was mainly when i was excited about it because i felt different, something I'd be scared to do with my own hair

in some cases, like dm81 mentioned above, some use it to hide their hair that may be damaged underneath. it's a quick and easy cover up. i've seen it in other races besides Black women, but to be honest, in mostly black women, esp since a lot of us think we can't grow hair like weaves.

 

[MJ]

When your hair looks good, you feel fabulous. If your weave looks better than your real hair, then you'll feel (and act) fabulous when wearing a weave.

 

[BSweet]

ive seen some of the ugliest chics put in weaves and turn into miss black Amercia..

not saying that is why we are all here..but hair defiantly changes someone's appearance and 9 times out of 10 it's long hair..

 

[Zsugar]

I didn't realize I felt like this until I started to grow out my own hair.
Scared that I was going to be seen without it. It's scary when you
don't have a lot of hair and wear a weave damn near to your butt. Now you can catch
me on the regular in a cute bun - without the weave. I still love my weaves
but I'm more confident that I have a full head of past APL hair of my own.

 

[HoneyA]

The other evening, around 9pm I guess, I was standing at the bus stop and this woman walks up with a BSL/MBL weave that looked fake. She stood right next to me, flicked "her" hair and messed about with it for as long as she was waiting for the bus so maybe about five minutes. All I kept thinking was what is all this in aid of? It was clear that she felt very confident, maybe too confident and she just ended up looking silly. In the end I just smiled to myself, SMH and looked the other way. I don't know what she thought about my hair but it was dark and she didn't see the braid I had to the side over one shoulder. I just thought really, do you need to do all that and draw attention to the fact you are wearing a weave? I just couldn't understand it.

 

[DragonPearl]

I've had a weave three times in my life and I would never say it made me feel more confident, actually it made me feel self-conscious. I just felt fake. No matter how well the weave blended with my natural hair, I was still paranoid that people would see my tracks.

Ditto. I wore a weave for about 1 month, and I felt terrible the whole time. I hated it so much I removed it, I just couldn't fake the funk. But I am okay with wearing braids extensions though. Go figure.

 

[Anna9764]

Hey ladies!
Is it just me or do you ever notice how some women act completely different when they have weave in their hair??? I personally think that most AA women are beautiful and unique regardless of the amount of hair they have, but I still see so many of us not feeling like we are worthy until we have long weave hanging down our backs!!!! Why is that? Why can't these women see that they are beautiful with & without weave and that it shouldn't determine how they feel about themselves?

For example I know many friends who have a short hair (but enough to style & look very cute) yet they hide behind weaves!!! I mean its almost shameful, when they aren't wearing weave they try to act invisible, then as soon as they get a weave they walk different, talk different, they wanna wear flashy outfits and be the center of attention, in some cases they even treat you different (like nasty), I just don't get it. Its like they become a different person. Seriously I have hair of my own (almost APL) and personally I don't have anything against weave because weave can be a convenient, pretty & fun way to switch up your look if you're into it. But I really don't dig chicks who think they are better than you, or think that you should be jealous of them because they have a head of fake hair. Because at the end of the day they wouldn't be caught dead without it.... Do you ladies know women like this?

I work with a couple, one in-particular