Was this too desperate....

Kinkyhairlady

Kinkyhairlady

Well-Known Member
Okay here is the situation.....Last year I used to see this really handsome guy on the train every morning. Every morning he would sit next to me and I felt like he wanted to say something because it was be so obvious he would make sure to grab a seat next to me. The last time I seen him was last Sept and at that point he sat across from me cause there were no seats next to me. In any case during the whole train ride he kept staring at me and I gave a quick grin but got shy and looked away. Well this morning I came in extra early and I sat in a cart I don't usually sit in cause the train was going to leave. Well after a few stops my mystery guy gets on. Oh my I was so shock. Well I did something I would never think I would do in a million years. I quickly wrote a note on the back of a hospital card telling him he is handsome and for him to call me. I got up when it was my stop walked up to him and handed him the card and told him to read the back. While walking to get off his eyes were right on me so he made it easy. Now if he does not call I will feel salted but I guess I tried. What do you ladies think, was it too desperate? I figured I may never see him anymore so why not take the chance, that is what was going on in my mind.
 
As a European I say why not?

I've never waited around for men to pick me, I prefer to pick them.

And like you said, you might never see him again.

Although, judging from what I read here on LHCF, American men do seem to like women to be submissive and he might feel "less manly".... or something.

I applaude you going against the grain!
 
No. And my grandmother picked up my grandfather at the train station after they had exchanged looks for a few months. Hope he calls you OP!
 
That is a cute story...I hope he calls. I also like the fact that the ball is now in his court. You gave him the opportunity to clearly make the next move.
 
Sounds bold not desperate. I hope he calls you. If he doesn't please don't take it personal. You don't know what's going on in his life. Keep us posted.:yep:
 
No. That's not desperate. I think it's a cute story. Desperate is getting sprung after knowing him 2 days and starting threads asking do you think the relationship is going anywhere...lol

good luck!
 
I don't think it's desperate. Actually, I never think that a woman making a move is desperate, unless she's throwing herself at him time and time again.

ME personally, however... I wouldn't have done it. I like men who take the initiative... plus, I used to be the aggressor and it never worked in my favor. My own experiences have told me that when a man is truly interested (and available :look:), he'll make a move.

But if you are happy with what you did, then I'm glad you did it for your own piece of mind.
 
princessnad said:
I hope he calls you. If not, the train rides may be really awkward from now on. LOL
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My thoughts exactly, lol.

I don't think that's a desperate move, OP. I did something similar a few months ago and he did call. He KEEPS calling *sigh* That's all I'm going to say :look:
 
Its not desperate at all. I am working on being more assertive myself. I will often have men make eye contact and conversation but not make the move to ask me for my number.
 
Based on the fact that he made a point to sit next to you EVERY morning, I think he likes you, but is a little shy. If there's no ring on his finger, he's fair game. He'd better call. Get it, get it! :yep:
 
Crystal said:
No. That's not desperate. I think it's a cute story. Desperate is getting sprung after knowing him 2 days and starting threads asking do you think the relationship is going anywhere...lol

good luck!
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I had to lol at this.:lol:
 
Unfortunately ladies he just called and he is married of course I had to ask about that. I am not sure why he freaken called. I was like God if he is taken just make him not call. Anyways that is all I had to hear to be like it was nice meeting you but I am not trying to get to know anyones husband. I think married men need to wear their rings, I hate when they don't it makes single girls like me think they are fair game. Well whatever I am glad I found out cause I would constantly wonder what happened to him and wish he had approached me. I know why now.
 
Be glad that he did call, because you would have been wondering what went wrong. It's a shame that he is married though. At least he knows that someone found him attractive, and you can keep lookout for more handsome men on the train. :look:
 
Ellis said:
Unfortunately ladies he just called and he is married of course I had to ask about that. I am not sure why he freaken called. I was like God if he is taken just make him not call. Anyways that is all I had to hear to be like it was nice meeting you but I am not trying to get to know anyones husband. I think married men need to wear their rings, I hate when they don't it makes single girls like me think they are fair game. Well whatever I am glad I found out cause I would constantly wonder what happened to him and wish he had approached me. I know why now.
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I know how you feel. . . .
 
Ellis said:
Unfortunately ladies he just called and he is married of course I had to ask about that. I am not sure why he freaken called. I was like God if he is taken just make him not call. Anyways that is all I had to hear to be like it was nice meeting you but I am not trying to get to know anyones husband. I think married men need to wear their rings, I hate when they don't it makes single girls like me think they are fair game. Well whatever I am glad I found out cause I would constantly wonder what happened to him and wish he had approached me. I know why now.
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Awwww, man.

Well, now you know his story.
 
At least he was honest.

But this is what I meant in my statement... most times, if a man is cheesing at me for a lengthy period of time and doesn't do anything, there's usually a reason.

Like, being taken.

Not worth me worrying about it... because if he wants me, he'll do something besides cheese at me like a Cheshire cat.
 
Ellis said:
Okay here is the situation.....Last year I used to see this really handsome guy on the train every morning. Every morning he would sit next to me and I felt like he wanted to say something because it was be so obvious he would make sure to grab a seat next to me. The last time I seen him was last Sept and at that point he sat across from me cause there were no seats next to me. In any case during the whole train ride he kept staring at me and I gave a quick grin but got shy and looked away. Well this morning I came in extra early and I sat in a cart I don't usually sit in cause the train was going to leave. Well after a few stops my mystery guy gets on. Oh my I was so shock. Well I did something I would never think I would do in a million years. I quickly wrote a note on the back of a hospital card telling him he is handsome and for him to call me. I got up when it was my stop walked up to him and handed him the card and told him to read the back. While walking to get off his eyes were right on me so he made it easy. Now if he does not call I will feel salted but I guess I tried. What do you ladies think, was it too desperate? I figured I may never see him anymore so why not take the chance, that is what was going on in my mind.
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Good for you. And if he doesn't call? SO WHAT!!! I commend you for taking a chance. That's what real women do. Life is too short to think, woulda-coulda-shoulda.

ETA: I see that he had contacted you. I think that was honorable of him to tell you.
 
princessnad said:
I hope he calls you. If not, the train rides may be really awkward from now on. LOL
Click to expand...

:lol:

Son26 said:
My thoughts exactly, lol.

I don't think that's a desperate move, OP. I did something similar a few months ago and he did call. He KEEPS calling *sigh* That's all I'm going to say :look:
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Oh my, that is the scary thing about giving your number to a stranger. No matter how handsome and well-dressed he is still just that, a stranger. You just never know...

Ellis said:
Unfortunately ladies he just called and he is married of course I had to ask about that. I am not sure why he freaken called. I was like God if he is taken just make him not call. Anyways that is all I had to hear to be like it was nice meeting you but I am not trying to get to know anyones husband. I think married men need to wear their rings, I hate when they don't it makes single girls like me think they are fair game. Well whatever I am glad I found out cause I would constantly wonder what happened to him and wish he had approached me. I know why now.
Click to expand...

Married men should wear their rings, most definitely:yep:. But sometimes they forget them or take them off while taking a shower.

I have mixed feelings about him calling. Part of me is like well good he was honest and good she knows now. The other part is like oooh if that was my husband :hammer:, I would be wondering why he didn't just throw the number away.

TheLaurynDoll said:
Exactly, and had I found out about it?
I could tolerate being given a number, but you want to go and call them?!
whooo!
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I know!
 
If I was the husband's wife I'd want to know what he was doing that another woman thought he would be interested. I hope I wouldn't jump to all sorts of assumptions, but I'd be real curious about that.
 
Yes I would not want to be the wife, he asked to see me and if I could meet up with him and I told him it is not a good idea. Ladies he did not come out and tell me he was married, I asked up front cause I did not want any surprises, and he had a long explanation not just a yes. when I used to see him before he was not wearing a ring so it is not about him taking it off to take a shower. This does not surprise me cause I know a lot of Carribean men who could careless they have a wife, you see them on dates and everything with other girls like it is ok. Things like this make me relived I am single but of course that moment passes when I see a happy couple, lol.
 
Ellis said:
Yes I would not want to be the wife, he asked to see me and if I could meet up with him and I told him it is not a good idea. Ladies he did not come out and tell me he was married, I asked up front cause I did not want any surprises, and he had a long explanation not just a yes. when I used to see him before he was not wearing a ring so it is not about him taking it off to take a shower. This does not surprise me cause I know a lot of Carribean men who could careless they have a wife, you see them on dates and everything with other girls like it is ok. Things like this make me relived I am single but of course that moment passes when I see a happy couple, lol.
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Wow girl, you dodged a bullet:yep:, good thing you asked him straight away, it sounds like he was not going to volunteer that information. He probably only told you the truth because you were so direct and he couldn't figure out how to lie quickly.
 
Do your thing Ellis!!! :grin:

ETA: Things progressed QUICKLY... I see a lot changed in one day. :giggle: I'm glad he was upfront about his marital status.
 
Last edited:
Not desperate at all! girl, I admire you, i don't think I would ever be able to get up enough nerve! he'll call!!
 
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