Victory in Singleness.com
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Serenity_Peace
Genius never dies!
I think this was a very useful, thought-provoking resource, and the strategies they suggest are ones that I have practiced in my own life as I've grappled with prolonged singleness. However, I do often have a problem with these kinds of things that make women feel guilty because they feel sad about being single. Or, they are made to feel that they should focus on other things that make them happy while in their single state. What they don't address enough are the millions of single women who have done EXACTLY that: we have spent years and years making ourselves happy in our singleness. For me, I know exactly what I want. I've done things as a single like travel, join book discussion groups, run marathons, earned my Ph.D., bought a home, have an excellent career, etc.
Just because I want a man in my life doesn't mean that I'm desperate or that I don't know how to find happiness being single. I think that way of thinking is very unfair to women who have done everything right and simply now are searching for happiness in loving relationships. While I do understand what these counselors are trying to do, I'm tired of being made to feel guilty for wanting a relationship; or make us feel that we can't pursue two goals at the same time--success and love. They seem to assert that we can only focus on one thing at a time but not both. Yes, I'm happy being single. Yes, I love myself and am doing things to make my life full...
And yes, in addition to these things, I also seek a relationship with a man who is loving, kind and wants to share his life with me.
Just because I want a man in my life doesn't mean that I'm desperate or that I don't know how to find happiness being single. I think that way of thinking is very unfair to women who have done everything right and simply now are searching for happiness in loving relationships. While I do understand what these counselors are trying to do, I'm tired of being made to feel guilty for wanting a relationship; or make us feel that we can't pursue two goals at the same time--success and love. They seem to assert that we can only focus on one thing at a time but not both. Yes, I'm happy being single. Yes, I love myself and am doing things to make my life full...
And yes, in addition to these things, I also seek a relationship with a man who is loving, kind and wants to share his life with me.
cocoberry10
Well-Known Member
Thanks for posting. I read the book a few years ago. It had a lot of great advice. Actually, there was a section on bitterness (goes to find book to give to friend who needs to overcome bitterness--check other thread!)
cocoberry10
Well-Known Member
I totally understand what you are saying, and I see this in a lot of books on relationships. But I honestly did not find this particular book to be that way. In fact, especially for a Christian/spiritually based book, I found it to be one of the most non-judgmental books for single women. Most Christian books for single women chastise the woman for engaging in non-marital sex, whereas this one did not. It seemed like the authors understood a lot more why women did what they did. However, they showed women how to become content. Not necessarily happy, but content. I think if you really want a relationship and you don't have one, it's hard to be completely happy, but you can be content. I hope this makes sense!
Yes, that was kinda creepy....
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