Update on crazy co-worker story

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Serei

New Member
I don't know if anyone remembers the story about the moron at my job who relaxes her hair every morning but I have an update. I saw her this morning on my way to breakfast after I don't know how long, and I noticed she changed her hair color. I was thinking, "I know this BUFFOON did not have the audacity to dye her hair after all the chemical damage she subjects her hair to every day!" I commented on her new hair color, (which is red now BTW) and she said, "Thanks it's a wig." So I asked politely, as if I didn't know, what made her decide to wear a wig after discovering the wonderful powers of the "black girl" relaxer. She said her hair is starting to thin. She blames menopause, her diet and stress. I think we need to make her one of those stupid signs. On a side note, it was one of those really nice expensive wigs with the realistic hairline and part. You wouldn't know unless you looked very closely at it. Then again, she seems to volunteer the information very readily, which I think defeats the purpose. At any rate, just wanted to update you all. There is just no hope for some people.

P.S. DAMN! I forgot to ask her if she still relaxes her hair. I will see her again at lunch. Do you think that would be mean of me to ask her that?
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You better ask her. If she is wearing a wig then her hair must be thinning seriously. It is never to late to inform someone of a better way.
 
What type of relaxer needs to be used every day? Was she just putting it in like shampoo & rinsing in the shower? What in the world?!
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I was looking for the original story but I think it was on the old board. A caucasian co-worker of mine got the crazy idea that her hair feels really nice and smooth after a fresh relaxer so she decided to relax her very thick, VERY frizzy hair every morning. I am pretty sure she just smooths it on and rinses it out, but I realized that she isn't all there so who knows? For a while girlfriend's hair was looking like a Pantene commercial. Everyone was asking her what she does to her hair so I fear the stupidity may have spread. I haven't spotted any other balding nurses around here though.
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I know you warned her initially HR - but wouldn't it be good now to remind her that it may be the relaxer?
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Is she mean or something? I'm just wondering since you know, why not say something (again - I do realize it would be again....at least I think) ?

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Poor thing. Sounds so self-destructive.

Is this co-worker "open" to suggestions? [Because believe me I know there are certain people you can't tell nothin' to.] But if she is "open" maybe Shamboosie's book might help. (Because sounds like she needs educating.) He just comes out and tells you "keep that up and you will be looking like me in a matter of months (meaning BALD!!!)."

When I discovered Nexxus Emergencee about 10 years ago, I used it at every wash
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. I complained of breakage to someone who pulled me aside and said "Baby, don't put that stuff in your hair every week.
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Every 6-8 weeks is enough!" Yah know, I just had no idea . . .
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--perfect peace
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I tried to tell her at some point and she just came out and said that "black" hair rules don't apply to her, (not in those words) because she is white. I washed my hands of her long time ago. Is that wrong? Should I be the bigger gal and tell her again?
 
Keep it stepping girl !!! I am the type that when I try to give advice and you act like I'm stupid, that's it, never again. Why waste your breath ? Better yet ask her if she has any ideas as to why her hair is thinning.
 
[ QUOTE ]
Serei said:
I tried to tell her at some point and she just came out and said that "black" hair rules don't apply to her, (not in those words) because she is white. I washed my hands of her long time ago. Is that wrong? Should I be the bigger gal and tell her again?

[/ QUOTE ]

"Black rules!!" No, you weren't wrong. You can't teach a fool. (Now I'm gettin' upset.) But now that her hair is thinning and she is wearing wigs and stuff . . . She is probably going to DRINK every word that comes out of your mouth about haircare. Give us an update after lunch with her. . .


--perfect peace
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Wow, that was probably almost a year ago. We always wonder what's going on with her. Bless her poor little heart.
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You tried to tell her though...
 
Yeah, I was just wondering about that lady the other day, Serei. I agree with Perfect Peace, though: she may be ready to accept your advice at this point. I think the suggestion re: Shamboosie's book is a good one too! I look forward to your post about your meeting with her.
 
I think I missed the initial post...what in the world would posess her to relax her hair daily? That's just stupid AND crazy.

Tebby
 
Needless to say I didn't get to meet with her this weekend. Things got busy and we both missed each other. She has a conference or something today so I won't see her at all. I was talking to another nurse, (a black nurse) who works on her floor who saw her hair without the wig. She said that her hair looks exactly as it is- overprocessed. It is stringy and a little see thru and you could probably hold her ponytail together with one of those little black rubber bands. The nurse said it probably isn't as bad as I think it is. She said it is probably the thickness of most (black) relaxed women's hair. There were no patches or bald spots. It just looks thin. You could tell it is supposed to be thicker. I asked the girl who told me if she recommended anything for her. She said no but it is only because the other lady is her boss and she wouldn't feel comfortable talking to her about such a personal matter. Plus the lady with the thinning hair is kind of mean to her nurses anyway so I don't blame her. I don't work for her though. I just don't like her attitude. Out of common courtesy and respect for the sisterhood, if I see this chick again this week, I will run a bottle of Aphogee by her and see what she says. I doubt she will read Shamboosie's book because it is all about black hair. That is when she gets all defensive. I'm not going to give her a three hour lecture about how all hair is hair and the physical differences between straight hair and kinky hair and the structure of the strand. I'll just sneak some tips in between casual conversation. At this point though, from what her nurse said and from what she told me, it looks like the only thing that will save her now is a haircut!
 
You should hand her the shamboosie book, (she did say she uses only black products right ), just tell her since your hair looks lovely , i thought u may want to read this, it is towards black people but it has some great info on products too !!

( i never read it , does it have info on prducts)

u may have to lie to make her realise her hair look bad
 
Is she your boss? If not, you should tell her she has straight jacked up her hair, or do like they do when our hair is jacked up "Oh, is that a new style? It just looks so thin, I didn't know white hair can look fried."

And about her hair doesn't apply to black hair rules. OOOh, I would have said listen, the ingredients in a relaxer is similar to drano, honey, but if you got white hair, you hair will melt even more than black hair. That comment pissed me off, I would have set her straight on that. When white women make coments, I let them have it.

I'm not real stank about it, but I sound really catty when I come back at them. They know they shouldn't go there after I'm done. I hate when white women talk about our hair like thier hair is the best on the planet. I don't get it that much because to them "your hair doesn't look like that", but I hate when they start to generalize black womens hair.
 
the ingredients in relaxer is similar to that of drano ? ....oh my (pity i dont have the patience to go back natural, i'll just drano my hair less).


skegeesmb - i wouldnt tell them anything, i would keep my hair up and make sure the next time i let it down that it is longer than theirs and way healthier and see what they have to say
 
[ QUOTE ]
skegeesmb said:
Is she your boss? If not, you should tell her she has straight jacked up her hair, or do like they do when our hair is jacked up "Oh, is that a new style? It just looks so thin, I didn't know white hair can look fried."

And about her hair doesn't apply to black hair rules. OOOh, I would have said listen, the ingredients in a relaxer is similar to drano, honey, but if you got white hair, you hair will melt even more than black hair. That comment pissed me off, I would have set her straight on that. When white women make coments, I let them have it.

I'm not real stank about it, but I sound really catty when I come back at them. They know they shouldn't go there after I'm done. I hate when white women talk about our hair like thier hair is the best on the planet. I don't get it that much because to them "your hair doesn't look like that", but I hate when they start to generalize black womens hair.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hahahahaha
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Tebby
 
I don't think we, as individuals, are under some dire obligaiton to tell someone we think their hair looks bad. It sounds cruel.
 
It does sound cruel, but so saying: "black" hair rules don't apply to her, (not in those words) because she is white. Sounds mean too. I would have said you shouldn't put a relaxer in everyday, but if someone came back to me like that, I would have told them. They need to see that ignoring advice because it's coming from someone with "black" hair is foolish.

I'm not that mean.
 
She had no problem putting the relaxer in her hair every day.

Looks to me as if she broke black hair rule #`1

Thou shalt not overprocess
 
[ QUOTE ]
skegeesmb said:
Is she your boss? If not, you should tell her she has straight jacked up her hair, or do like they do when our hair is jacked up "Oh, is that a new style? It just looks so thin, I didn't know white hair can look fried."

And about her hair doesn't apply to black hair rules. OOOh, I would have said listen, the ingredients in a relaxer is similar to drano, honey, but if you got white hair, you hair will melt even more than black hair. That comment pissed me off, I would have set her straight on that. When white women make coments, I let them have it.

I'm not real stank about it, but I sound really catty when I come back at them. They know they shouldn't go there after I'm done. I hate when white women talk about our hair like thier hair is the best on the planet. I don't get it that much because to them "your hair doesn't look like that", but I hate when they start to generalize black womens hair.

[/ QUOTE ]
ITA you will never see me posting on how their comments ruined my day cause I can go tit for tat. And say it is the same snide hidden insulting way.
 
I would have addressed the issue THAT day. When she said that "black hair rules don't apply to me." I would have said, all I am telling you is that you can't put a chemical product in your hair everyday and expect to have hair. I would have left it at that. When she lost all of her hair, I would wait for her to come to me for suggestions. I wouldn't volunteer suggestions because people don't like that.
 
[ QUOTE ]
Bett1e said:
I don't think we, as individuals, are under some dire obligaiton to tell someone we think their hair looks bad. It sounds cruel.

[/ QUOTE ]

Well, that's one way of looking at it but . . . .

If my slip is hangin' PLEASE TELL ME.
If I got something coming out of my nose, PLEASE TELL ME.
If I got greens stuck between my teeth, by all means PLEASE TELL ME.

I'm the type of person (and there are lot of us out there) who is not going to get mad if you tell me. I think its in the way you say it.

Now if your somebody I can't tell nothing to . . . if you're not teachable . . . that's a different story all together. I'll say what I can, but since YOU grown, I leave the rest up to you . . .

perfect peace
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If you all want to give the lady some reconstructor or books, its up to you but, if the lady didn't want to hear it the first time, why would she want to hear it now?
 
if i said
white hair rules dont apply to me .. i wont be rude, im just stating a fact.
But anyhow she needs to chill out with her hair .. Serei give her some advice or teh book or something
 
What in the hell?! I am not believing what I am reading! Relaxing the hair every day? I'm sorry, but if you told her once and she felt like her hair was holier than thou...well leave her the hell alone! She will come to you for advice when she is ready to listen to you. I wouldn't volunteer anything else. I didn't even know white people used "our" relaxers in their hair. No wonder she is balding.
 
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