Thanks ladies. Well the update on the situation he told me y he has been late on the rent. He said that he went to a title loan place and he owes money for that, he had two checking accounts sent to a collection agency, and he is paying half of the light bill at his grandmother's house. I asked him y he didnt tell me and he said he doesnt want people all in his business. I then told him until the damn sheriff knocked on our door at 6:00 n the morning i wasnt but now i am. Its really a hard decison i dont know wheter to leave or stay. I am getting very depressed over this issue. Since I graduated from college im focusing my enery on finding a job, and then decided wheter to stay or get my own place 4 me and my son. I dont know y he is so childish, I sometimes look at the things he do and wonder do u c how stupid im acting. I just want to smack the mess out of him, I dont know ladies im very confused.
UPDATE: CAN FINANCES RUIN A RELATIONSHIP
- Thread starter sexy c
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Dee-Licious
Well-Known Member
If it doesn't seem like it's going to get any better you know what you gotta do.
These money problems can have an adverse affect on your son and I'm sure you want the best life possible for him.
These money problems can have an adverse affect on your son and I'm sure you want the best life possible for him.
Integrity
Active Member
thanks for the update. My position has not changed from the original thread. Do not be afraid of being alone or single. Somehow I feel you are. There is no point in having a 'man' in your life just because, even though he contributes nothing good. Think about you and your son, PLEASE sister. If you don't you will wish you had done it earlier but then years would have gone by and the worries and stress will have an effect on your mental health, credit score etc etc. Please.
Summer_Rain
Well-Known Member
You have to take of those rose colored glasses for a minute, and look at whats real. He has a CHILD to take care of. I love grandmothers, Lord knows I do....but a roof over HIS seeds head should be paramount to everything. If that means he takes a 2nd job, gives you his entire check (minus an "allowance" for him) then so be it. Who's name is on the lease? When/if they evict you two - who will be served with the judgement?
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
WTF?
You are not "people"- you are his SO. There are things going on that have an affect you and your son, he needs to be upfront about his situation.
Like I said in the other thread, he is NOT going to change as long as he has you fall back on.
I really feel that you need to stop thinking with your heart for a minute and think with your head, especially since you have a child. It's not just about you.
You said in the other thread that you guys have been on and off for 8 years. That means you've probably been having these (and other) issues with dude on and off for 8 years.
How much more time do you want to waste?
Spidergul
Well-Known Member
In answer to your thread question-YES.
How does the saying go Romance with no Finance is a Nusiance.
I have not read your other thread.
Not to make light of the issue, but in todays enconomy having a track record of bad credit is not going to make buying a house, car or getting future credit easy. All of these issues are going to eventually spill over on you. If you chose to stay with him please keep yours and his credit issues separate. And by no means sign any loan or sign up for any type of credit together. You will forever be linked to his bad credit if you do.
How does the saying go Romance with no Finance is a Nusiance.
I have not read your other thread.
Not to make light of the issue, but in todays enconomy having a track record of bad credit is not going to make buying a house, car or getting future credit easy. All of these issues are going to eventually spill over on you. If you chose to stay with him please keep yours and his credit issues separate. And by no means sign any loan or sign up for any type of credit together. You will forever be linked to his bad credit if you do.
BrooklynSouth
New Member
YES, finances...too little....too much..hiding assets, miss use...all can ruin a relationship...a number 1 couple break up factor. God says it... to paraphrase.....BE NOT UNEQUALLY YOKED.
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
Either go get some financial advice and agree to helping each other get it together or leave. You have to do what is best for you and your child. I know how you feel right now. From what I read, this isn't your husband right? Do you guys have any financial ties together?
tatiana
Well-Known Member
I think you should leave and focus on your son however I don't think you want to leave. Can you afford a place without him? Can you move back home?
I don't think your SO is childish, I think he is selfish.
Is your SO still in the drug game? Is that apartment in your name or his or both? Is that car in your name or his or both? I read bits and pieces of your other thread so I am not sure I got all of the info.
Just because he may have a legit job does not mean he stopped his illegal job. Just because he broke does not mean he don't have an illegal job.
That Grandma thing was suspect; I would ask her if he paid the light bill. If she said no, you need to find out what he is doing. And he should have told you up front that he was going to pay grandma's power.
Your SO is suspect, I would start making plans to get myself and my son away from the situation ASAP.
I don't think your SO is childish, I think he is selfish.
Is your SO still in the drug game? Is that apartment in your name or his or both? Is that car in your name or his or both? I read bits and pieces of your other thread so I am not sure I got all of the info.
Just because he may have a legit job does not mean he stopped his illegal job. Just because he broke does not mean he don't have an illegal job.
That Grandma thing was suspect; I would ask her if he paid the light bill. If she said no, you need to find out what he is doing. And he should have told you up front that he was going to pay grandma's power.
Your SO is suspect, I would start making plans to get myself and my son away from the situation ASAP.
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
When a relationship gets the point where you have to play investigator to get the truth, it's really time to go.
prettypuff1
New Member
I know what you need to do. I think you do to.. It is just a matter if you are ready to live well or not. i can;t really get up on a soap box and preach because where you are now is 10000000000000 times better than where i was when i had a kid.. you have a college degree, you can get a job some where and do better for you adn you son. It is no longer a matter of how he is a s a person, it is where you are as a woman. you have to know tht you can do better than him. Son's father or not....
pisceschica
Well-Known Member
Yes they can especially when you're "financially responsible" and you're with someone who lives like their is no tomorrow and doesn't put alot of thought into their financial future.
But in this case I would say it can ruin the relationship simply because if he's lying and being secretive about something like this how do you know he's not lying about other things or that he won't try to hide crucial things from you.
But in this case I would say it can ruin the relationship simply because if he's lying and being secretive about something like this how do you know he's not lying about other things or that he won't try to hide crucial things from you.
UmSumayyah
Well-Known Member
Don't go down this road OP, or you will be kicking yourself for years, maybe DECADES. Listen to the ladies here.
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