Unwanted Competition?

[gradygirl]

I went natural about 2 years and then started to texturize slightly. I did it to give my hair a much needed break and it was in bad condition. Well my sister- n- law was constantly picking at me about the state of my hair and asking me what was I going to do with it and all sorts of crazy things. No matter where she sees me her topic of choice is my hair. If she sees me at church and I could be setting on the other isle and I look at her and speak and she looks at me and tells me somehting about my hair. She seemed like she paid more attention to my hair than I did. Well my hair has grown very nicely these last couple of years with a few setbacks here and there. Now all of sudden tonight she tells me that she has has been getting sewn in weave for 3 months and she is trying to go a year without perming her hair. She wanted to know what I did to maintain it and everything else she could find out. I left there tonight feeling like she was in secret competion with me to see who could get there hair to grow the longest and as for all her questions I completely shut down on her. While she was asking questions I was having flashbacks from when she used to snicker behind my back and to my face about the way my hair looked. All the while when she was trying to pick my brain I was thinking this heifer has some nerve. I've decided to go back to relaxing but I'm glad that I stood my ground and did what I felt was right for my hair at the time.I totally respect all women that are naturals and I hope that they don't have to encounter some of the foolishness that I went through with this chick. I mean this was a sister that treats women that are little kinky headed like it was some kind of disease or somehting but now I see she is trying to catch what she thought I had. I just dont know why she feels the need to be so competitive with me about something as trivial as hair.
Thanks for listening girls.

 

[Isis]

Some females are very competitive with other females with so many things, especially men, clothes, looks and hair. I find black women to be most competitive with hair, maybe because even though it's just hair, it's still a major learning experience for us and there are so many myths flying around from back in the day that are alive and well.

 

[UmSumayyah]

Somebody's always going to compete about something. It's trivial to you but it seems that its very important to her to be "better than" you in this way.

 

[mashbaba1]

As I was reading your post, I was heated because of the fact that I have encountered so many females like that in my life. I always neglected to say what I really wanted to say,(whether that was a good thing or bad thing, I don't know). You do not have to give up any information on how you take care of your hair. I think if you do, later on when you think back to how bad she treated you, it will make you regret that you had given her the info.

To save your feelings, to keep from being mean, and to put her in her raggedy little place, I would suggest that if she confronts you about it again just be vague and nonchalant in your answers. I think that will eat her litlle a$$ up, even though she might not let you know it.

Even though I know it's hard, please try not to let her bother you anymore girl.

 

[MissYocairis]

I feel you. My cousin did this to me for years. Her haircare was a SECRET and she made it to brastrap but she could not maintain it. It won't go past apl now. And NOW she is asking ME for advice on what I am doing and I am VAGUE.

Also, I told a co-worker I was going to go to the wig store and buy a ponytail so I could have a phony pony like Raven-Symone on That's so Raven. Don't you know, that broad came in the VERY NEXT DAY with the exact style I had described to her?!?!? I just said, forget it, I'm not getting one .

 

[LizLeila]

Aww,

CBC, you should still get your pony. Just wear it better than she does.

I think it is sad that this kind of competition has to happen. I had a college friend who used to always find something snotty to say about how I did my hair. We were about the same length, but I found better ways to care for my hair and she stuck with her same old bad habits. She got to the point that she had to cut her hair above her ears. Now, everytime we go out, she just STARES at my hair the whole time, picking me for information. Because I care for her, I told her about Surge and tried to encourage her, but when I think of those times back in college I still get a lil heated.

 

[ekomba]

that so funny i asked one of my cousins what she used to grow her hair so long and even some girlfriends and they stay vague like many shampoos and products i say name the products and perms they just act like they dont hear me and me i say trust me i know how to grow my hair fast they they say tell me everything how you do. i say it s a whole process and then they say oh it s too complicated and give up or want me to write a whole book hahaha but they would never spill the beans on their hair secrets and accuse me of having hair secrets

 

[gradygirl]

Thank ladies!!! I'm not as mad today as I was yesterday when it happened and if it were not for women like you that share what they know about hair care my hair would be a hot mess so if she asks again (nicely) I might throw her bone.
Again Thanks