UNDECIDED: Stay relaxed or go natural??

[LiciaB]

My hair has been relaxed for a very long time (since I was about 11 or 12) so I'm used to having straight hair. Before I found lhcf and became educated in healthy hair care, I was relaxing every 4-5 weeks so I never really gave myself the opportunity to feel my natural texture. Now I go about 8-9 weeks (the longest I can stretch w/out breakage) and I am fascinated with my natural hair texture (4b) . When I feel my ng and feel curls, I still can't believe it. My hair was dry before I started to care for it properly that my ng just felt like steel wool . All these years I thought I just had "bad hair" that NEEDED relaxing. Now I don't know. I'm about 5 weeks post now and haven't used heat in almost 2 months (huge accomplishment for me) and I'm feeling the urge to relax, but I won't. I'm getting my hair braided in the morning.

I said all that to ask this:

Natural ladies: When did you know you were ready to go natural?

Relaxed ladies: Have you ever been tempted to go natural, but chickened out due to uncertainty?

I guess I won't really know what I wanna do until I have an abundance of my natural texture to work with, but any input y'all can provide will be great....esp my 4b sistas.

 

[Ms. Alainious]

I have the relaxed/natural debate with myself every day.

And like you, I'm fascinated with my new growth

I'm currently relaxed, and I've been this was since I was 13. I can remember what my hair was like before I relaxed. I think about going natural a lot, but the following reasons keep me from it:

I have some very different textures on my head. I'm not sure if I would be able to blend them into one cohesive style.

I already spend enough time on my relaxed hair, 3-4 hours on wash days. I'm not looking forward to needing more time to detangle.

I like to wear my hair straight, and I'm not sure my hair, even in its natural state, could tolerate frequent heat styling (I only rollerset my relaxed hair).

I'm scared to transition. I have a big head, so a TWA is not my idea of a good time. I dont like braids or weaves, so I'd be short on options to keep me looking decent....

So with those doubts currently in my mind, I'm still relaxing...

 

[TeaKyoo]

When did you know you were ready to go natural?

It just felt ready. I was dating a natural man (locs) and I was making a transition with my career so I just felt daring like I dare ya to say anything about my hair. Plus with all the online support and support of my immediate family I just did it. I transitioned and did the BIG CHOP in less than 9 months.

 

[TheQueenBeeMaya]

I've been natural my whole life, so I can't really answer the question. My mom decided she wouldn't relax my hair because she had had a bad experience, and when I was old enough to take care of my own hair, I was already used to it's natural state so a relaxer was pretty much out of the question.

 

[Renewed1]

I still struggle with the decision. I want natural hair because my hair can take alot of heat and I like the feel of my hair.

 

[Denise11]

If I were NL I would go natural. I love natural hair but I'm a little past APL and I know I'm not starting over at this point. I don't want to be going through this for many years, I want to get to the point where I'm just taking care of my WL hair.

 

[tonia682]

I have the relaxed/natural debate with myself every day.

And like you, I'm fascinated with my new growth

I'm currently relaxed, and I've been this was since I was 13. I can remember what my hair was like before I relaxed. I think about going natural a lot, but the following reasons keep me from it:

I have some very different textures on my head. I'm not sure if I would be able to blend them into one cohesive style.

I already spend enough time on my relaxed hair, 3-4 hours on wash days. I'm not looking forward to needing more time to detangle.

I like to wear my hair straight, and I'm not sure my hair, even in its natural state, could tolerate frequent heat styling (I only rollerset my relaxed hair).

I'm scared to transition. I have a big head, so a TWA is not my idea of a good time. I dont like braids or weaves, so I'd be short on options to keep me looking decent....

So with those doubts currently in my mind, I'm still relaxing...

This is me too the tee...minus the big head. I am still undecided so I'll relax til I decide to make the change

 

[chocolate01]

I have been natural since 2005, I had my last relaxer in Aug. 2004. For me I just came to the point where I had and still have no desire to relax my hair. I transitioned for 11 months before chopping.

 

[november wind]

I have not had a relaxer since October and am contemplating going natural. Looking at my mom's and grandma's hair, I decided for myself that I'm going natural when I get gray hair.

 

[LiciaB]

I have the relaxed/natural debate with myself every day.

And like you, I'm fascinated with my new growth

I'm currently relaxed, and I've been this was since I was 13. I can remember what my hair was like before I relaxed. I think about going natural a lot, but the following reasons keep me from it:

I have some very different textures on my head. I'm not sure if I would be able to blend them into one cohesive style.

I already spend enough time on my relaxed hair, 3-4 hours on wash days. I'm not looking forward to needing more time to detangle.

I like to wear my hair straight, and I'm not sure my hair, even in its natural state, could tolerate frequent heat styling (I only rollerset my relaxed hair).

I'm scared to transition. I have a big head, so a TWA is not my idea of a good time. I dont like braids or weaves, so I'd be short on options to keep me looking decent....

So with those doubts currently in my mind, I'm still relaxing...

Yep...no TWA for me, definitely have a head on my shoulders...lol

 

[danigurl18]

I've been 100% natural since June 08 but I had been transitioning since Oct 07. My natural journey started the same way; I was feeling my ng and I liked it. I decided to transition for a little bit because I still had the option to relax. Finally, I was ready to BC. It happened random and out of the blue. I love my natural hair and I don't think that I will go back to relaxing. HTH you make a decision... good luck either way!

 

[Nayna]

I stopped relaxing in like November or December of 05 on my own before I even learned of this site. For me it was just the relaxers felt pointless, my hair was a decent length at about apl but it felt thin and boring, I was just pissed with it so I stopped. I haven't looked back since. I'm not saying it's for everyone but I think it's all on u, it's hair and it will always grow back if u hate it.

 

[nychaelasymone]

I'm transitioning and have to challenge myself to find protective styles until my relaxer grows out enough for me to chop my hair. I'm just tired of relaxers and I think my scalp has suffered enough from chemicals and bad hair practices. I tooo have a big head...and top it off with a big Sade forehead....a TWA is not a good look. I'm going to rotate between wigs, braids/twists, and press-n-curls until my hair reaches a doable length....and then I'm going to cut the relaxer out. Actually in 2 weeks, I'm going to cut my hair into a nice Mary J Blidge short cut and go from there.

best wishes on your hair journey....whatever you decide, I'm sure you will be fabulous!

 

[Auburn]

I have one "regret"...not going natural sooner.
If you dont like it RELAX again. Give your natural hair a trial.
You never know unless you try it out

 

[Southernbella.]

I just didn't want to relax anymore. I mean, I had NO desire. I tried to transition when I first came to LHCF, but I was still having doubts and ended up relaxing again. I wanted to see how long my relaxed hair could get.

Once I hit my goal relaxed, I knew that I was over relaxed hair and was ready for a different journey.

OP, if you are still having doubts and waffling on it, you may not be ready, and that's ok. When it's the right time, you'll just do it.

 

[BlondeByDesire]

I am on the fence with this as well. My last relaxer was 10/31. I would love to go natural - I just want to make sure I can manage especially with my color. In the long run, I think going natural would be better for the color and would allow my hair to thicken up. I'm taking it week by week now. If I can find the right combination of products to handle my hair then maybe I'll be able to survive it. But too, I don't want to do a BC anytime soon.

 

[morehairplease]

I just didn't want to relax anymore. I mean, I had NO desire. I tried to transition when I first came to LHCF, but I was still having doubts and ended up relaxing again. I wanted to see how long my relaxed hair could get.

Once I hit my goal relaxed, I knew that I was over relaxed hair and was ready for a different journey.

OP, if you are still having doubts and waffling on it, you may not be ready, and that's ok. When it's the right time, you'll just do it.

this is me right now. I deal with the debate of going natural or relaxing daily. My hair is very tightly coiled and tends to knot together(it can not have a curl whatsoever in it or the knots are soon to follow). With my relaxed hair, I only have the option of relaxing bone straight and if I decide to go natural it will need to be keep straight as well. I have plans to get braids extensions(keep debating about this too due to my somewhat fragile hairline) and giving my hair a break for the remainder of the year until I make a final decision on the state of my hair.

 

[Lucky's Mom]

Wow. I have not had a relaxer for 10 years.... But - I knew when I transitioned.... I just KNEW... For what ever reason.

I am grateful. Not looking back.

 

[bermudabeauty]

I have seriously been debating gonig natural as well. I have been a dedicated relaxed head for longer than I can remember. But I have been seeing all these beautiful healthy heads of curly natural hair and I want to be a part of the crew. I need a relaxer right now and I washed my hair instead of getting a relaxer. I think I am going to try it. We can do together. I will never know until I try. If going natural dosen't work out you can always apply the creamy crack. LOL

 

[bermudabeauty]

I'm transitioning and have to challenge myself to find protective styles until my relaxer grows out enough for me to chop my hair. I tooo have a big head...and top it off with a big Sade forehead....a TWA is not a good look.

Me too. I don't want to do the BC. Hell I just did a BC a few weeks ago went from APL to touching shoulder length. My head is large its a no can do for the TWA

 

[bermudabeauty]

Hey nychaelasymone: Me too. I don't want to do the BC. Hell I just did a BC a few weeks ago went from APL to touching shoulder length. My head is large its a no can do for the TWA

 

[Ms_Twana]

I said all that to ask this:

Natural ladies: When did you know you were ready to go natural?

I joined LHCF in May 2006. My last relaxer was June 2006. I started out stretching my relaxer. Then I started to think about how I had no idea what my natural texture was because I had gotten my first relaxer as a young girl. Then I fell in love with my new growth. After that I decided to just go natural because my hair had been a little past shoulder length for as long as I can remember, no longer. So, I wanted to go natural to reach my goal length of BSL. And in Dec. 2006, after six months, I did the BC.

I have been natural for a little over two years. But, I'm debating whether to stay natural or relax again. The longer my hair gets, the more it is to deal with. It is VERY THICK. So, I dread wash days. But, no matter what, even if I decided to relax again, at least I got to know my natural texture.

 

[chelleyrock]

I think about going natural daily, but on the other hand I'm nervous about it. I haven't seen my natural texture in over 10 years (after taking down braids) but I wasn't deep conditioning so all I saw/felt was steel wool. I don't want to relax because I'm sick of my hair being so flat that you can see my scalp (not cute).

I'm stretching now and hopefully when more ng starts to show up (6 months worth) I'll make my decision.

 

[Eclass215]

Natural ladies: When did you know you were ready to go natural?
When I was younger I used to feel my ng when I was relaxed and loved it. I always wondered what my whole head would look like with nothing but natural hair. All of my friends discouraged me telling me that *MY* hair was too coarse to be natural and woulnd't look right. When Eve came out with her short, blonde, natural hair it inspired me to cut mine off and start over. So I did in 2001 after my friend got tired of hearing me talk about it and she dared me. I was so happy I did. I don't think I'll ever relax again.

 

[Rei]

if you have nl hair, just try being natural. You're not really losing anything, your natural hair will grow back to NL in about 20 seconds. I was NL when I started transitioning, transitioned out to CBL/SL length and then chopped back to NL. It hasn't been that long (2 months?) and I'm already back at SL. Longer lengths will be the challenge (at least it is for me) but you can always relax again if you don't like it.

 

[mscocoface]

I was ready to go natural when I was tired of seeing my nape fall out everytime I got stressed. I was also very curious to see what my natural hair would look like long and healthy. I had a few cousins who were going that route so I said why not and took the plunge into the natural hair adventure.

I always knew that if this did not work out I could turn around and relax it. So far I am going strong over 10 years now I think as a natural. The past 4 years I have really focused on healthy and length of my cottony mass of wonderfulness.

 

[Allandra]

I just knew I didn't want to have relaxed hair for the rest of my life. So, I decided to transition in October 2007. I'm glad I did.

 

[HauteHairGurl]

I'm so glad you posted this. After the barrage of gorgeous hair pics by some of the natural 4a/4b (my hair type) ladies, I find myself REALLY wanting to go natural again. I was natural for a year until Nov '08. I ALWAYS got my hair pressed so the only time I saw my natural texture was when I went to the salon to get it pressed again. Let's just say it was NOT the business. Now that I've found LHCF, I find myself wondering what my natural hair will look like now that I'm learning to actually take care of it and do stuff to it. I'm scared though but I want long hair and I think in the long run I'll be able to grow my hair faster and longer in its natural state. I'm still on the fence but teetering over on the natural side....

 

[RedVelvet310]

When did you know you were ready to go natural?

After I had gotten burned one too many times at the hair salon . This was pre-lhcf. I had suffered some pretty serious and painful chemical burns from my last realxer and that day on I just said NO MORE! I didn't even consider it "transitioning" or "going natural" I just knew I would never relax my hair again. 5 Months later (after not knowing what the HECK to do with my hair) I found LHCF and two months after finding LHCF I BC-ed natural. So technically I "transitioned" for 7 months. It just felt right... I knew I'd never relax my hair again (after that painful incident) so I technically had no toher choice. I do sometimes wish though that I had transitioned a little bit longer ... I would have been BSL by now! Oh well.

 

[Skiggle]

It is actually up to you!!!!
You can have healthy relax
hair. There's nothing bad about relax hair, if it
is properly taken care of.
Just like you I have been perming since I was ac hild...
3rd Grade to be exact. I am also fascinated with my natural
hair and just got tired of perms. I am embracing the REAL ME..
that's my ultimate goal.
Natural isn't for everyone and if you don't plan to go natural it
doesn't make you LESS of a person....