Transitioning without BC'ing Support Thread

[Kim0105]

Hey all, I've read through all 323 pages of this thread over the last week. I relaxed this January after being natural for a year. I didn't have the patience to deal with my hair after taking care of my then 2 year old and a baby. I figured I'd rather use whatever time I had to eat than deal with hair. For the last 3-4 years I've BC as many times and relaxed. My last touch up was May 18 so I am 9 weeks post hoping to transition for just over 2 years.

I have never transitioned before and plan to do so with the help of self installed Havana Twists. The plan is to install for 6 weeks, take down for 2 while I do a protein treatment and give my hair some tlc before installing again for 6 weeks, rinse ad repeat. My first set are in now. While in twists I spritz with a mix of scurl, conditioner, oil and distilled water 3-4 times per week and a protein spritz once per week. As far as washing I will cowash once per week.
So the why... I have a 3 year old daughter who has very thick and BSB 4a hair. I want her to grow up loving and being proud of her hair. The only way I know how to do that for her is to model it while taking care of her hair. My hair is 4b if I were to type it. It doesn't have as many curls as my daughter's as it tends to grow straight in some areas. I guess I'll see if anything has changed in the last 18 months.

 

[Dayjoy]

Kim0105 A major reason I transitioned was because of my DD too. I wish I had done it when she was younger like you are doing, but even at 10-11yo, she has learned from what I've done.

 

[Kim0105]

Kim0105 A major reason I transitioned was because of my DD too. I wish I had done it when she was younger like you are doing, but even at 10-11yo, she has learned from what I've done.

I guess better late than never, huh. I am about an inch shy of APL and planning to take 1/2 an inch off every other take down. I'll trim every takedown if I run into issues with tangling. I get the average of 1/2 inch of growth every month so this should work out fine.

 

[lovely_locks]

I went natural once before but I could not deal with my short length. I ended up BCing and then relaxing nine months after. I am giving it a go once more, this time w/o the BC. I have been relaxer free for 6 weeks, and I have been bunning ever since. Gel breaks my hair and my nape is all natural and short, and will not reach when I do my ballerina bun. So tomorrow I will be wearing a braid out. I am not strong when it comes to being natural, but I need to do this. Quick back story: My first son is more black then white, my other two are more white then black. My son is starting to notice differences in hair. Skin color does not bother him but for some reason (he is 7 his brothers are 5, and ) but he is stuck on hair. He asked me why my hair does not look lie his. I told him it does, but I straighten it. Moral of this story: How can I expect my son to love what God gave him, if I am changing what God gave me? It will also be a good example for my other two. We all need to love what we were born with.

 

[MileHighDiva]

I went natural once before but I could not deal with my short length. I ended up BCing and then relaxing nine months after. I am giving it a go once more, this time w/o the BC. I have been relaxer free for 6 weeks, and I have been bunning ever since. Gel breaks my hair and my nape is all natural and short, and will not reach when I do my ballerina bun. So tomorrow I will be wearing a braid out. I am not strong when it comes to being natural, but I need to do this. Quick back story: My first son is more black then white, my other two are more white then black. My son is starting to notice differences in hair. Skin color does not bother him but for some reason (he is 7 his brothers are 5, and ) but he is stuck on hair. He asked me why my hair does not look lie his. I told him it does, but I straighten it. Moral of this story: How can I expect my son to love what God gave him, if I am changing what God gave me? It will also be a good example for my other two. We all need to love what we were born with.

lovely_locks, I think it's wonderful that you want to transition due to your son's consciousness! I'm not clear if you didn't like your natural hair when you previously BC'd, or if you were just unhappy with the length due to the BC. Do you like natural hair, straightened natural hair, or stretched hair? If so, you'll have a lot of emotional, informational, mental and spiritual support.

If you don't like natural hair, I wouldn't transition, unless my relaxed hair was unhealthy, or causing scalp and thinning issues etc. You stated your nape is 100% natural due to gel and not chemical damage. You may want to show your three son's your natural nape and let them feel and touch it. Especially, the seven year-old. Then tell him that you straighten it because of a styling choice, and that females have more styling options, Maybe, that will quell his hair observations. The other two just may not be aware, yet! They're not more white, they're at a different stage of development. However, your their mother, and a mommy knows her babies.

Good luck!

 

[havilland]

I guess better late than never, huh. I am about an inch shy of APL and planning to take 1/2 an inch off every other take down. I'll trim every takedown if I run into issues with tangling. I get the average of 1/2 inch of growth every month so this should work out fine.

this is what i have been doing for about a year. i just cut what i grow. seemed to work well for me,

 

[AudraChanell]

I think I'm going to blow dry my hair today and do some sort of faux straight style. No flat irons, but I just want a bit of a change. Any who, another of my transitioning hairstyles...

 

[havilland]

AudraChanell that style is so elegant!

 

[mz.rae]

Well Ladies. I'm done. I am not cutting anymore hair. The back of my hair is fully natural now and the front is what it is. The texture is looser in the front so I can't tell the difference between my texlaxed ends and my natural hair.

Since i wont be trimming away my ends anymore, from now on I'm considering myself fully natural and my transition is over.

P. S. a note for the purists- I am about 90% natural. I am not leaving this thread and making a post about a big chop nor will I be touting advice to anyone who doesn't have two textures on their head. I realize that many naturals will not consider me natural because I have some relaxed ends left here and there and I am totally ok with that.

i am two years or 748 days post relaxer.

As near as I can tell my hair is APL in the back and CBL in the front. I will get a blow out at some point and do a length check but not until the weather gets cooler.

Here are some pics:

First pics are my hair air dried with no product so I can see the shrinkage. The last picture is my hair after I wet it again and put it in a ponytail with kinky curly products and Eco styler gel.

Your hair looks nice! Good job! I would say you're all the way natural too, no matter what purist say

 

[Britt]

Hey all, I've been watching this thread for a while. I'm currently a little over 16 weeks post relaxer and things are getting difficult. So far, I realize that my hair is easiest to deal with when washed. This way I can slick it back into a poytail. When my hair is dry the roots are matted and coarse and hard to deal with. This is what deterred me last year in dealing with my hair. I've conceded with the fact that I canNOT comb dry hair. Yesterday I wore a lose flexi rod set and my relaxed ends held the curl, but my roots which were loose I could feel became a matted, coarse mess. This morning, I had to take my time just to put my hair into a low puffy ponytail. I have a headscarf/headband on today.

It's weird, when I wash my hair and slick it back I can see small waves, bigger waves in certain places. But when my hair dries and poofs ups and is 'loose' it's coarse, and hard to comb -- detangle. My roots are compacted and just difficult. Last night I was making an attempt to detangle and my SO looked at me and said "looks like you're having a hard time there". I truly see why people say 'fukc it' and just take a scissors and chop away. I just truly can't see myself with a few inches of hair and at the same time if I continue with this, I don't see how I can go longer than a year... I just don't know. Instead of big chopping my temptation lies in running to a relaxer, but I always end up regretting getting a relaxer and the cycle starts all over again. I'm gonna buy a blow dryer with a comb attachment and see if that helps me some with my new growth. I have a blow dryer but I think a blow dryer with a comb attachment would be easier to use since i'm trying to straighten my new growth a bit.

 

[havilland]

Brittster

First of all congrats on trying to transition again!

you can do it These weeks are the hardest. You have more relaxed hair than natural hair and its hard to get used to. I agree with staying away from combing dry hair.

1. Sounds like your new growth is dry. I would suggest stepping up your deep conditioning game. Deep condition with heat for an hour once a week.

2. you may need a heavier leave in conditioner.

3. If you are using regular shampoo, stop. Try co washing or using a product like Hair One or Wen.

What is your moisturizing routine?

 

[Britt]

@Brittster

First of all congrats on trying to transition again!

you can do it These weeks are the hardest. You have more relaxed hair than natural hair and its hard to get used to. I agree with staying away from combing dry hair.

1. Sounds like your new growth is dry. I would suggest stepping up your deep conditioning game. Deep condition with heat for an hour once a week.

2. you may need a heavier leave in conditioner.

3. If you are using regular shampoo, stop. Try co washing or using a product like Hair One or Wen.

What is your moisturizing routine?

Thanks! My new growth is just coarse and matted when it dries. I deep condition at least once a week. I wash w/ sulfate free poos. I use heavy deep conditioners. My hair is soft when its wet and finished being deep conditioned but when it dries it's a different story. I've tried moisturizing my new growth and it will just become greasy. Later on this evening when I go home I want to wash my hair and tomorrow I'll just wear it pinned up since tonight after I wash it I will pull it in a low ponytail and pin it up. For some reason when my hair is pulled back like that from being in a wet state it's easier to handle. But yesterday my hair was just a mess from being worn kinda loose in curls. I don't really think it's my products so much as it's just my hair texture when it fully dries. It's like I'd have to wash/co wash my hair daily or every other day and keep it pulled taut in a ponytail for it to be 'workable'.

 

[naija24]

Officially decided that I'm going to transition. I've been back and forth about going natural for a while now (and staying that way) but dealing with the idea of not having straight hair all the time scared me to death and so I would BC all the time. I reeeeally don't want to BC anymore so I'm gonna try my hand at transitioning. I'm in twists right now, but I want to cut off my relaxed ends by December 2014. I hope by then to be at least APL all natural.

I hope to do a serious length check in 10 months to a year, which would be June 2014. If I reach full SL by then, then I'll BC sooner.

I plan to be a straight haired natural, fyi.

 

[lovely_locks]

@lovely_locks, I think it's wonderful that you want to transition due to your son's consciousness! I'm not clear if you didn't like your natural hair when you previously BC'd, or if you were just unhappy with the length due to the BC. Do you like natural hair, straightened natural hair, or stretched hair? If so, you'll have a lot of emotional, informational, mental and spiritual support.

If you don't like natural hair, I wouldn't transition, unless my relaxed hair was unhealthy, or causing scalp and thinning issues etc. You stated your nape is 100% natural due to gel and not chemical damage. You may want to show your three son's your natural nape and let them feel and touch it. Especially, the seven year-old. Then tell him that you straighten it because of a styling choice, and that females have more styling options, Maybe, that will quell his hair observations. The other two just may not be aware, yet! They're not more white, they're at a different stage of development. However, your their mother, and a mommy knows her babies.

Good luck!

Thank you! I like my natural hair, I just did not like the length. That is why I decided to transition. My hair is healthy but not the healthiest. My ends are thin. That is a good idea! I think I'll show my boys my natural nape. It is just so weird, having boys I never knew that they would have hair issues as well.

 

[MileHighDiva]

Thank you! I like my natural hair, I just did not like the length. That is why I decided to transition. My hair is healthy but not the healthiest. My ends are thin. That is a good idea! I think I'll show my boys my natural nape. It is just so weird, having boys I never knew that they would have hair issues as well.

Girl, wait till they're older and start becoming aware of their appearance in relation to females. You may have to beat them down for getting into your overpriced boutique/handmade product stash. I want to kill my son sometimeserplexed

 

[DaLady82]

So proud to have made it 27 weeks now. It's hard but I'm still hanging.
Hard to get a good pic with my ipad but here it is.

 

[havilland]

Oh! Ok.....I get it now.


My hair is the same way. I have to stretch it to smooth the cuticle in order for it to be soft and manageable. I always air dry in a ponytail or apply a silicone type leave in if I'm going to air dry loose. But I never air dry loose because I get tangles and silicones cause my hair to matt.

 

[AudraChanell]

Thanks Haviland!

 

[AudraChanell]

I've been straightening once a month now using my Babyliss Steam straightening (no curl loss) and trimming 1/2 to 1" per month with the new moon as I transition. Here is today's before and after. I am leaving this straight until it swells in Vegas next week. The BEFORE and Afters.

 

[AudraChanell]

Once you find a groove you'll be fine!! The challenge presents every 4 months for me with additional growth, but you have time to adjust. Congrats on your decision!

Officially decided that I'm going to transition. I've been back and forth about going natural for a while now (and staying that way) but dealing with the idea of not having straight hair all the time scared me to death and so I would BC all the time. I reeeeally don't want to BC anymore so I'm gonna try my hand at transitioning. I'm in twists right now, but I want to cut off my relaxed ends by December 2014. I hope by then to be at least APL all natural.

I hope to do a serious length check in 10 months to a year, which would be June 2014. If I reach full SL by then, then I'll BC sooner.

I plan to be a straight haired natural, fyi.

 

[Kim0105]

I've been straightening once a month now using my Babyliss Steam straightening (no curl loss) and trimming 1/2 to 1" per month with the new moon as I transition. Here is today's before and after. I am leaving this straight until it swells in Vegas next week. The BEFORE and Afters.

Your hair is beautiful. Love the color.

 

[Killahkurlz]

Thanks! My new growth is just coarse and matted when it dries. I deep condition at least once a week. I wash w/ sulfate free poos. I use heavy deep conditioners. My hair is soft when its wet and finished being deep conditioned but when it dries it's a different story. I've tried moisturizing my new growth and it will just become greasy. Later on this evening when I go home I want to wash my hair and tomorrow I'll just wear it pinned up since tonight after I wash it I will pull it in a low ponytail and pin it up. For some reason when my hair is pulled back like that from being in a wet state it's easier to handle. But yesterday my hair was just a mess from being worn kinda loose in curls. I don't really think it's my products so much as it's just my hair texture when it fully dries. It's like I'd have to wash/co wash my hair daily or every other day and keep it pulled taut in a ponytail for it to be 'workable'.

Do u seal n ur water based moisturize? With an oil or butter?

 

[Britt]

So proud to have made it 27 weeks now. It's hard but I'm still hanging.
Hard to get a good pic with my ipad but here it is.
View attachment 218547

DaLady82, how do you style your hair daily when it's dry? What's your regimen?

Oh! Ok.....I get it now.


My hair is the same way. I have to stretch it to smooth the cuticle in order for it to be soft and manageable. I always air dry in a ponytail or apply a silicone type leave in if I'm going to air dry loose. But I never air dry loose because I get tangles and silicones cause my hair to matt.

havilland yes, so far it's best my hair is dried pulled into a ponytail. But there will come a time when my hair might not be able to go into a ponytail? It's all fine so far when it's wet and the day following. The subsequent days when my hair is dry ... that's the problem. I was thinking that soon I'd like to do twist outs, but I'm thinking those will likely have to be done nightly to be maintained.

Do u seal n ur water based moisturize? With an oil or butter?

Killahkurlz, I've tried using castor oil and my hair is nice and soft the following day after it's washed and dried but after that my hair will just feel kinda greasy and my roots will greasy and kinky.

 

[so_stush]

I'm still trucking along. I was almost weak a couple of times during the last few weeks, but I'm determined to make it until next year. I'm thinking a spring time chop is in order.

And man do I have a lot of products. I'm trying to use some of this crap up but I may end up tossing it out. Ridiculous. I consider myself a minimalist but I still NEED. To have different products for different styles. Eco styler for buns and such and kinky curly curling custard for curly styles and on and on. I need less stuff.

 

[DaLady82]

DaLady82, how do you style your hair daily when it's dry? What's your regimen?

havilland yes, so far it's best my hair is dried pulled into a ponytail. But there will come a time when my hair might not be able to go into a ponytail? It's all fine so far when it's wet and the day following. The subsequent days when my hair is dry ... that's the problem. I was thinking that soon I'd like to do twist outs, but I'm thinking those will likely have to be done nightly to be maintained.

Killahkurlz, I've tried using castor oil and my hair is nice and soft the following day after it's washed and dried but after that my hair will just feel kinda greasy and my roots will greasy and kinky.

To be honest, I really don't have a serious regimen. I mostly co wash 2 times a month. I clarify once a month or after about 6 weeks, really just when I feel it's time. I do protein and deep conditioning as I see fit. As for styling, I'm really still learning. So far, I have had box braids and 2 sets if mini twist with my real hair. I was bunning early on but now I can't see how I am gonna get a bun without using so much gel. If I have to use a lot of gel, I will have to wash more. And im not sure i have it in me to wash every week. Took my mini twist out 2 days ago and not sure what to do next. Thinking about Senegalese twist or trying to flat iron.

 

[havilland]

Brittster

DaLady82

This is why I didn't cut my hair off. I needed the ponytail to be able to work my hair.
You may want to try a rinse out conditioner as your leave in for your natural hair to help it hold moisture better.
Also, please realize that after two days my hair is a hot mess. I have to put se water on it to get it back to a happy state.
Watching mahogany curls on you tube from start to finish really helped me learn some techniques that worked. I didn't use all her ideas but many of them helped me. Since she has been on you tube for so long, I got advice from every step of her journey from big chop to hair down her back..... She has changed her regimen alot over the years and I find her advice useful.

 

[Britt]

havilland, when you don't wear wigs, how do you wear your hair daily? A ponytail everyday? Since you wet often, do you wash/cowash more frequently?

 

[havilland]

havilland, when you don't wear wigs, how do you wear your hair daily? A ponytail everyday? Since you wet often, do you wash/cowash more frequently?

My routine:

I deep condition once or twice a week with a plastic cap.

I wet my roots daily to smooth them down. I cup water in my hands from the sink and smooth it over my hair.

I apply moisturizer and oils to my hair every other day.

I wear a bun during the week and a ponytail one day on the weekend to let my hair get some air.

Wigs:

Deep condition. Air dry in ponytail and tie down to dry overnight.

In the morning I moisturize with a cream and add oil. Braid my hair in four cornrows. And then wear the wig all week. I don't really do anything else to my hair except oil the hairline.

Below are pics of how I wear my hair daily.

Hth

 

[BlueNile]

Thanks! My new growth is just coarse and matted when it dries. I deep condition at least once a week. I wash w/ sulfate free poos. I use heavy deep conditioners. My hair is soft when its wet and finished being deep conditioned but when it dries it's a different story. I've tried moisturizing my new growth and it will just become greasy. Later on this evening when I go home I want to wash my hair and tomorrow I'll just wear it pinned up since tonight after I wash it I will pull it in a low ponytail and pin it up. For some reason when my hair is pulled back like that from being in a wet state it's easier to handle. But yesterday my hair was just a mess from being worn kinda loose in curls. I don't really think it's my products so much as it's just my hair texture when it fully dries. It's like I'd have to wash/co wash my hair daily or every other day and keep it pulled taut in a ponytail for it to be 'workable'.

This is my hair. I do cowash just about every day. Since about month 4 my hair never leaves a slicked back state. When I wash, co wash, deep condition and air dry, my hair is going in one direction which is back. I have started wearing natural looking phony ponys which greatly helps with the two textures since my relaxed hair is in a bun underneath. I cannot do braid outs, twist outs or rollersets because I would have no hair left on my head. On the days that I detangle it takes me about 1 and a half to 2 hours. I don't use combs. My hair also gets extremely matted at the roots, but what helps me is to take a bottle with a nozzle (like a color applicator bottle) and put jojoba oil directly on my roots when it's wet. I only do this in the back because that is where most of the matting occurs. I'm currently going on 7 months post. I feel your pain, lol

 

[Kim0105]

Thinking about taking down my twists at the end of the month and cowash and bun a couple times a week in August. I still have a week.