Transitioners support thread

[*Happily Me*]

I'm glad to have encouragement and support from you ladies! I'm still hanging in there but I confess, thoughts of silky swinging hair keeps popping in my head. I'm 4 months post relaxer.

One day at a time... I really want to be natural and I WILL not give in. Not today anyway!

 

[mscounselor]

Today I am at the point where I have no idea what to do to my hair post wash. I have a major midterm to study for and don't want to use heat. But I don't want to go to work in the morning with uneven twists, braids, or whatever in my hair. Decisions, decisions, decisions... Atleast I don't have any inclination to relax it. (Thank you God!)

I wonder if transitioning is easier with a certain type of hair? hmmm....

 

[mahoganee]

I am 6 months into my transition and things are becoming more difficult.
My questions are:

-Is it normal to have a lot of shedding at this stage? I have gone from practically no shedding to moderate shedding now.

-Did you all experience tangles and knots that sometimes had to be trimmed out? This is happening mainly in my crown area when I airdry, so I tried some minor blowdrying after my wash today and I still experienced knots. Even my K-Cutter is working that well anymore!

-Is there something missing from my regimen that would help things along?

my regimen is:
shampoo and condition once a week: kenra ms/mc
leave-in: giovanni direct
moisturizer: bb castor oil moisturizer and pure castor oil for the roots and ends
I have about 3 inches of natural hair and 13 inches of relaxed hair
style: low bun (slicked back with aura pomade and fantasia ic frizz buster gel)

Thanks ladies

I transitioned for about ten months and couldn't take all of the tangles and knots anymore so I cut all of the permed ends off. My hair grows fast so I had enough new growth for my braider to braid up. She kept telling me that I could just let it grow on out but every time I took my braids down and shampooed I'd get to clipping. Also, I kept my hair in braids and when I took them down I had a lot of shedding but that stopped as soon as I cut the perm off.HTH.

 

[mahoganee]

Lee,

I actually had the same problem a while back. My sides were so fuzzy, they wouldn't lay down for anything! The ONLY thing I found to work is this stuff called S Curl 360 Style Wave Control Pomade. It's thick like a grease, but it emulsifies in your hand and really lays those sides down. I use it after my CO wash, while my hair is still wet. A combo of Elasta QP mango butter, this, and a little Ampro Clear Ice gel works wonders for my hair!!! You can pick some up at Walgreen's, and it's not expensive at all! Let me know how it works if you decide to get some.

Oh great! Thanks for this info. I've tried different types of gels and it lays down for a minute and then it's poofed back up. I will be raiding my son's pomade as this is what I buy him. This smells good too.

 

[Country gal]

My grandaddy said what did you do to your pretty black hair. I was like I am natural now. I told him he just prefers my hair straight but that I didn't cut it. So I had to pull the hair for him to see I still had length. Oh well, I like being nappy.

 

[RainbowCurls]

I really feel like relaxing at the moment.
I think my hair looks a bit messy and 'not right' unless I straighten it (because of the 2... maybe 3 textures: relaxed, underprocessed. natural), which I'm reluctant to do, since I've just dyed (some of) it. (extra damage etc)
I found a pic of me I had on my computer when my hair was straight and red and it looked great.
or maybe more hair dyeing would satisfy me for now.. I love hair colour!
Maybe getting braids would kill my straight hair lust for now. (I've always wanted to get braids but didn't have the patience/want to spend the £!)
Or a new style or something. I always wear my hair down, centre part, which may not be the best style for transitioning.
If I could do cornrows or french plaits properly that would really help!
But I don't like having my hair up, too much of my face is exposed...

OK, there's no point to this post, but that's what this thread is for isn't it? Transitioner's rants!

 

[mscounselor]

I really feel like relaxing at the moment.
I think my hair looks a bit messy and 'not right' unless I straighten it (because of the 2... maybe 3 textures: relaxed, underprocessed. natural), which I'm reluctant to do, since I've just dyed (some of) it. (extra damage etc)
I found a pic of me I had on my computer when my hair was straight and red and it looked great.
or maybe more hair dyeing would satisfy me for now.. I love hair colour!
Maybe getting braids would kill my straight hair lust for now. (I've always wanted to get braids but didn't have the patience/want to spend the £!)
Or a new style or something. I always wear my hair down, centre part, which may not be the best style for transitioning.
If I could do cornrows or french plaits properly that would really help!
But I don't like having my hair up, too much of my face is exposed...

OK, there's no point to this post, but that's what this thread is for isn't it? Transitioner's rants!

It's okay to rant. I think if you spend the money on the braids, it will allow you to forget about the fact your hair "doesn't look right". Once I got my twists, the only concern about my hair was the moisture content. I can worry about something else. I would advise that you not look at old pictures. They are where you have been not where you are. If the braids aren't financially sound, try a braid out. Ironically, I tried mine for the first time the night before I got the twists. My best friend wondered why I even wanted the twists after that.
I'm rambling myself but I hope this helps.

 

[angellazette]

I"m 6 months post relaxer...so maybe I can offer a few ideas. I keep my hair cornrowed and moisturize, seal daily. I also wash weekly. Keeping my hands out of my hair seems to help with breakage and keeping it moisturized also plays a big factor. It also keeps me from noticing the two textures as I only see them on wash day. I tried the condition technique from this thread deep conditioning ( a different spin) and had no tangles in my hair whatsover in addition to it being extremely soft.

 

[RainbowCurls]

I've tried braidouts, they made my hair look too bushy.
My best success has been twisiting some of my hair at night so it ends up all looking wavy. But I did this on friday, and I think I put too much coconut oil on and it was too wet when I did it. I was in a changing room that lunchtime and it's one that had the two mirrors so you can see the back. I couldn't decide whether my hair looked ok, or it looked a over-shiny, frizzy mess! I was trying to convince myself it looked ok though...

 

[RainbowCurls]

I wish I could cornrow, angellazette....
I could try some different styles then.
But I'm so uncoordinated it's ridiculous.

 

[mscounselor]

I wish I could cornrow, angellazette....
I could try some different styles then.
But I'm so uncoordinated it's ridiculous.

Do you know anyone who can cornrow your hair once a week? Perhaps along the way they could teach you as well.

 

[angellazette]

I wish I could cornrow, angellazette....
I could try some different styles then.
But I'm so uncoordinated it's ridiculous.

It takes practice. As of January this year, I couldn't cornrow to save my life. I've done it basically every weekend since then and am only getting better! It takes time!

 

[RainbowCurls]

I don't know anyone can cornrow...
but... I'll try next weekend and hopefully not get too discouraged to continue practicing.

I'd love to be able to do the style where the hair is cornrowed almost to the crown and left loose from there. And it probably wouldn't take as long as doing the whole head... good for lazy me!

I know a friend who either does her own braids though (or does them with her mum), maybe she can help me learn that.

 

[Jewell]

I also recently taught myself how to cornrow my own hair about a month and a half ago. Before then, I couldn't do it for the world, although I could cornrow other people's hair.

 

[nita4]

Hello Ladies, this is a great thread.

I've been on this forum for awhile and this is my third attempt at "trying" to transition. I'm more determined this time because honestly my hair is damaged. It is over-processed, under-processed, shedding, breakage, you name it. This happened over time while relaxing my hair. Putting a relaxer in my already damaged hair would only result in further damage and it's time to let it grow out. I am six and a half months post relaxer and wearing braids because I find it hard to find a style that blends my textures well without requiring some type of daily maintenance and looks cute. I love the natural look and have lots of support. My mom and sister are natural. I find tht with the braids my hair has a tendency to get dry. Daily misting with anything other then water makes my scalp itch. I plan on leaving my braids in for now as they are easy.

My question to you is...because of the expense, I wanted to start braiding my own hair again. My current style is cornrows in the front and individuals in the back. I wanted to attempt braiding (which I"ve done in the past) my own hair using the braiders pattern in the back with the exception of the front, I will replace with individuals (can't cornrow to save my life). Now in doing this, I just want to take out a braid and replace it with another braid. Does anyone see a problem with doing this over time? I will shampoo a couple of days prior to replacing.

 

[Ms Red]

Ok, um, I tried twists (close to the head and they look like cornrows) using 2 strands for the first time today. I used Humectress and Sta So Sof. However, I didn't have the patience to let them dry (I wanted a twistout) and didn't want to wear them to the gym so....

10 minutes later I took them out. So I was disappointed but I figure it's cool-- the next time I do this when I wash my hair on Friday, I'll just do it and then wrap it and go to bed and let it airdry. I have a nagging feeling that I won't like the results until my hair is shoulder length but I'm going to try anyway.

I am considered a lazy transitioner. I am about 13 wks. post and my only hair styles consist of a phony pony (and baggie), and flat ironing it. I wear my hair straight (from one flat iron session) once a month and the rest I just use the pony. It's like my hair is not long enough for other things. But I might try individual twists and see how that comes out. Oh, and I rollerset sometimes although the last time made me mad because my hair came out like a fluffy mess, no definition really. I am going to try that again this weekend. I would also like to experiment with flat twisting the front and then rollersetting the back.

I found my alternative to Mango Butter: Grease and water. I ran out of the butter and didn't want to use gel so, off I went in search of mixing something that would give me my waves and shine and coils. I don't like the grease part (I used sulfur 8) but it worked. My new growth is really apparent. It looks like waves and curls. I have not had one urge to relax. Now flat-ironing-- that's a different battle!

Off I go to practice more styles. I've got to get something right!! I wish my hair was longer, but it has been growing! Good luck transitioners!

 

[Covagirlm]

I am also 13 weeks post and im also a lazy transitioner. I wear my hair pulled back with my ends tucked ender every day(my hair isnt long enough for a bun) I have tried rollersetting but I always end up looking like a little girl who just sweated out her press and curl. Im tired of looking a mess every day.I have been thinking that maybe I will just cut my hair into a little pixie(halle berry) cut for the rest of the summer and just get braids for the fall.

 

[chocolate01]

I just wanted to encourage all the transitioners. Keep at with your styles. Also I think we need to stop being so hard on ourselves. I have seen a lot of posts where someone will say I tried this and my hair didn't come out right and I go look at their album and have loved the results. I went through this last week after I did my BC. I did 2 strand twists all over but boy I was not ready for how much they shrunk up. But while I was being hard on myself I went out and got so many complimets on it, from all types of people. I even had one lady ask where I got them done. My grandmom couldn't even believe I did them myself. What I took from that experience is that we need to lighten up on ourselves and have fun with your hair. I thought I would share that with you guys and hope it would encourage someone. Good luck on the rest of your journey and trust me it is so worth it in the end.

 

[Cheleigh]

Re: Transitioners support thread (long)

I just wanted to encourage all the transitioners. Keep at with your styles. Also I think we need to stop being so hard on ourselves. I have seen a lot of posts where someone will say I tried this and my hair didn't come out right and I go look at their album and have loved the results. I went through this last week after I did my BC. I did 2 strand twists all over but boy I was not ready for how much they shrunk up.

Cosign 100%. I think this is where the oft-discussed mental transition takes place. So many of us are used to having smooth straight hair with every hair in place that when our multi-textured hair acts up it is hard for us to work within that framework, especially when folks are looking at us crazy.

Fortunately, I never styled my relaxed hair particularly impressively (often I didn't even comb it, just smoothed it back into a ponytail with my hands, let new growth show up prominently, etc.), so hopefully it won't be a too much of a shock to my coworkers and friends when my transitioning hair shows up with a trial hair style gone wrong after I take down my braids. By necessity, I will probably be spending more time styling my new hair than I spent styling the relaxed hair (which I realize and am preparing for).

Yesterday I was showing my good coworker/friend (white male, late 40s) some "natural" hairstyle examples (he saw the page on my screen and wanted to see more photos of Beyonce) and we came across some baby twists/coils. He says "that's ugly." I said "that's how my mom's hair is." He says "it's ugly." It took everything in me not to flash on him (although I did a little bit). He's entitled to his opinion. I just realize that there are going to be lots of folks who think that some of our "natural" styles and hair are *****, and part of that is our fault for masking our natural hair with relaxers, blowouts and p&cs for so long that most Americans think that naps and nappy styles are an undesirable anomaly rather than par for the course (this is not an anti-relaxer post, I'm just saying that when possibly as many as 80% of African American women straighten their hair, logically there are very few people that will ever get used to seeing "natural" hair styles and textures).

Keep the faith girls. Some days will be better than other days, and we're all in this together! I'll be looking for the same pep talks when my first braidout is a dismal failure.

 

[Miz_Complexity]

I have not had a perm since Febuary 2005 I cut about 2.5 inches (Friday July 8th 2005)of hair off the end were breaking, over processed hair was holden me back. I decided to cut my losses and start at a new point in my trasitition. I hope I can gain at least 3-6 linches of new growth By December 2005.

I have been thinking about changing my current regimen.

 

[jainygirl]

Just wanted to give some support to all the transitioners . Y'all are doing great. I have to concur on the mental transition, that's where the real changes start coming in. Youre trying to adjust from a lifetime of learned thinking to making your thoughts more friendly towards your natural hair. Y'all are doing so good keep it up -- jainygirl

 

[Kikootie]

I will be 17wks post this Thurs, and it just seems like my hair is getting puffier by the minute. Most of the time I wear my hair like angellazette's avator. Now when I do it, I have a lump on each side of my head because the hair is so thick right there. Its annoying and makes my head look even bigger than it already is (like some alien). I can't smooth it enough to get rid of them most of the time and I don't always have time for twist-outs. I never had this problem in the past when I was natural because I did not know about this website. I mostly pressed and flatironed at that time. I don't want to start that again. I'm doing so well without it. Any other hair-style suggestions or thoughts on how to smooth my hair better?

 

[Country gal]

Once I accepted my natural hair for what it was, I felt much more happier and confident. I am wearing the hell out of my natural hair. I get a lot of people telling me they wish they could do it or it's becoming. It is a good feeling especially when I went through a tough transition. This is just a stepping stone. You will be okay once you really just embrace your hair. I was in your shoes worrying about how it would look or will my hair look like another member.

 

[BLESSED1]

Once I accepted my natural hair for what it was, I felt much more happier and confident. I am wearing the hell out of my natural hair. I get a lot of people telling me they wish they could do it or it's becoming. It is a good feeling especially when I went through a tough transition. This is just a stepping stone. You will be okay once you really just embrace your hair. I was in your shoes worrying about how it would look or will my hair look like another member.

co-signing 110% Ironically, I had BSL hair when I was relaxed, rarely got compliments on it. The minute I chopped and started wearing my 'fro and afro puffs, I had to beat people off my hair w/ a stick I get so many compliments I embrace my bushy curls & waves, I'll run my hand through my hair and be like dang this is my hair, it's so cool lol

 

[angellazette]

I will be 17wks post this Thurs, and it just seems like my hair is getting puffier by the minute. Most of the time I wear my hair like angellazette's avator. Now when I do it, I have a lump on each side of my head because the hair is so thick right there. Its annoying and makes my head look even bigger than it already is (like some alien). I can't smooth it enough to get rid of them most of the time and I don't always have time for twist-outs. I never had this problem in the past when I was natural because I did not know about this website. I mostly pressed and flatironed at that time. I don't want to start that again. I'm doing so well without it. Any other hair-style suggestions or thoughts on how to smooth my hair better?

In that photo, I just let my hair airdry with a satin scarf tied around it.

 

[*Happily Me*]

I am 5 months post relaxer. I hit a rough spot but I am determined transition!

I cut my bangs and uploaded some pics.

 

[ThursdayGirl]

I am 5 months post relaxer. I hit a rough spot but I am determined transition!

I cut my bangs and uploaded some pics.

hang in there!

 

[hopeful]

Way to go Kikootie (17 weeks) and Dsylla (5 months)! I wish you both continued success with your transitions.

 

[mscounselor]

I am at 18 weeks post and in two strand twists with extensions...these are a God sent for me.
I want to congratulate Dsylla and Kikootie for hanging in their. D, your new style made me want to go get mine cut as well. Its very attractive and something to new to help you through the rut!

Keep on hanging on !!

 

[onepraying]

Hey Ladies!

Chiming in at 22 weeks post!!! And love, love, love, love, lovin' ma hey-ah!!!
Praise God!!!

Keep rolling girls, we can do it!!!