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To tell or not to tell
- Thread starter melodee
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ineedmoney
New Member
i don't say anything unitl someone asks me and most times the only ppl that would ask are too scared to a black girl if her hair is real
kreeme
New Member
My girlfriends always know, cause we all do it every now and then. My guy friends, I usually tell them upfront so that there are no surprises when I come over with hair down to my ***. But for people that I don't know, I don't say anything unless they ask. I'm wearing a bun now and my guy friend and I were watching a movie on the couch the other day...he reached over and touched my bun and I was like, "don't knock my bun out of my head boy...these bobby pins are not secured that well!"
He said that it looked so pretty and he was just trying to see how I got it all neat like that. I don't really care if people know or not. I was a little pissed off at my soon to be ex-husband one day because we were out in public doing something and he was like, "so what...it's weave anyway...just buy some more."
And people were looking at me and laughing. I was like WTF?! Don't call me out like that
G
Guest
Guest
Several people have told me my hair looks pretty and, forgetting I am wearing a wig, I have said "thank you."
When I first got the wig, I kept saying "but you know this isn't my hair?"
When I first got the wig, I kept saying "but you know this isn't my hair?"
brownrelaxedhair
New Member
I've worn a weave twice before years ago to help grow out my hair and I had no problems telling everyone it was extensions. I never pretended it was my own and had no problems if I was asked (always by white people). I know it isn't my hair and for me I see it as cosmetic and not trying to pretend that this is my hair.
I actually liked the look as a temporary 'style' and was quite happy to say so.
I actually liked the look as a temporary 'style' and was quite happy to say so.
adrienne0914
Well-Known Member
i always tell. i couldn't care less what people think!! since my hair has grown so much from it, the first response now is "WHY????" lol!
butterscotch
New Member
[ QUOTE ]
i don't say anything unitl someone asks me and most times the only ppl that would ask are too scared to a black girl if her hair is real
[/ QUOTE ]
I agree
i don't say anything unitl someone asks me and most times the only ppl that would ask are too scared to a black girl if her hair is real
[/ QUOTE ]
I agree
I tell if asked. I don't go around saying "this is not my hair" though, b/c I don't see why it should matter to anyone.
I just don't get why people ask in the first place, it's really none of their business. Some people just aren't mature about the situation.
No you cannot touch my hair, no I don't want to explain to you how it's done. Sorry, but it just happens too often.
I just don't get why people ask in the first place, it's really none of their business. Some people just aren't mature about the situation.
No you cannot touch my hair, no I don't want to explain to you how it's done. Sorry, but it just happens too often.
kreeme
New Member
[ QUOTE ]
No you cannot touch my hair, no I don't want to explain to you how it's done. Sorry, but it just happens too often.
[/ QUOTE ]
I hate that!!!
I remember when I had my sew in done a few years back and this girl I worked with asked me if it was my hair. I was like yeah...I paid for it!
But then I was like, no girl, it's a sew in. Why did I tell her that?!
She was like, "you sewed it to your scalp?!" Ughhhh!!!! I hate explaining this to people of non color.
No you cannot touch my hair, no I don't want to explain to you how it's done. Sorry, but it just happens too often.
[/ QUOTE ]
I hate that!!!
NubianQueen
Member
I personally am offended every time someone has the audacity to step to me with such a question. Seriously, if I wear caucasian they wouldn't ask or if I were a man wearing a toupee, no one would say anything. If I had large breasts, would they ask me if they were real? I believe that ever since that Oprah episode back in 1988 (yes it affected me THAT much) when she put us all out on front street and decided to tell them that we don't all have long hair, caucasians have lost all sense of decency when it comes to tact. That same week I was working in a real estate office and this woman came in, I politely greeted her and offered my assistance. Don't you know she didn't even respond with a hello she just asked me if my hair was real
. Mind you I was a teenager and my hairdresser talked me into putting the synthetic hair in my head talking about no one will know (yada yada). Well, I was mortified and didn't know how to handle the situation and told her to remove them immediately. Since we were friends, she wouldn't 'let' me waste my money like that, I mean that was a LOT of money for a high school student who was on her own, paying rent and bills!
People who don't even know my name want to ask personal questions. Please. I hate when they say they asked because it is so pretty, as if we can't have pretty hair. If I wanted everyone to know that I had short hair, I would walk around with it out!
Okay, I am done now. This has just bothered me for a LOOONG time. Don't get me wrong, until my vcr was broken, I used to record her shows since she is now into your inner spirit. But I was quite dissastified that she was on her show back then shaking her gorgeous hair and saying that MY hair is real but went on to do an HOUR on revealing our secret. One last thing, who STARTED wearing hair pieces?!
Happy hair growing
People who don't even know my name want to ask personal questions. Please. I hate when they say they asked because it is so pretty, as if we can't have pretty hair. If I wanted everyone to know that I had short hair, I would walk around with it out!
Okay, I am done now. This has just bothered me for a LOOONG time. Don't get me wrong, until my vcr was broken, I used to record her shows since she is now into your inner spirit. But I was quite dissastified that she was on her show back then shaking her gorgeous hair and saying that MY hair is real but went on to do an HOUR on revealing our secret. One last thing, who STARTED wearing hair pieces?!
Happy hair growing
adrienne0914
Well-Known Member
in my personal experience, it's never whites that ask me about my hair. they usually just assume it's mine. it's always black folks that doubt. and it was a black person that felt for tracks a couple of months ago while pretending to need "her with a computer problem." no white person has EVER put their hands in my head to feel for tracks. even when my hair was short, my sistahs didn't believe it was mine.
it doesn't bother me either way, especially since it's mine, but i just wanted to say that it's also blacks that do this...
it doesn't bother me either way, especially since it's mine, but i just wanted to say that it's also blacks that do this...
I never understand why some people ask or need to know if someone's hair is real or not? I just don't get why it would matter
. Plus asking someone if their hair is real or not is personal and rather insulting if you ask me
. If I ever had weave in and someone asked me if it was real I would probably tell them off
. I don't go around asking people are their teeth real or fake
.
Robin41
New Member
I don't have a problem telling people it's fake if they ask me. Really, they shouldn't have to ask cause I wear so many phonytails in so many different lengths, textures and colors, they ought to know it ain't my hair. I have a lot of fun with them and love to try different ones: curly, straight, tight curls, waves, etc. for different looks.
I find that if I make people feel crazy for asking by pointing out what's so obvious, they only ask ONCE.
I find that if I make people feel crazy for asking by pointing out what's so obvious, they only ask ONCE.
I do tell. I change my hair so frequently and drastically with wigs (length, color-you name it!) My hairstyles always look natural, but I change them up so often, that it is very apparent that it is not my hair. So like someone else said, I warn some people ahead of time so they don't start asking questions. I don't change up as much at work, because I don't want to give people more of a reason to try to ask me about it.
Often people are just curious, i.e., mostly White people. A woman I know said she is never offended by ignorance, so I try not to be in that case. I rather them ask me than someone who may respond with incorrect info. I was working at this place one time, (at this location I rarely changed my hair, so I didn't say anything about it) This one woman that I didn't know very well, walked up to me, asked me if my hair was real, then began to talk about this Black woman at her old job who used to wear pink, blue and other color wigs at work, and told her she wore them because her hair was "nappy."
She also went on to talk about how this woman was sleeping with her boss. I almost died right then and there. It may sound crazy , but I truly believe that we are often all lumped together, even though we may share a few aspects between us. I had to correct her on all that, and the use of the word "nappy" in that context.
It does kill me how inappropriate some people can be, especially in corporate. As someone else said, few people would dare to ask a woman are her breasts real, but Black women get asked all the time is our hair real. What really bothers me are the people who do not know you and ask you personal questions about your hair, or who try set up the next question by complimenting you first, then ask if your hair is real. At the job I am at now, another woman I don't know well (and didn't really care for), walked up to me and said my hair was pretty, then asked if it was mine.
What killed me about this is that anyone with eyes should notice that I change my hair, so I felt this question was in poor taste. Maybe it is jumping to conclusions, but I sometimes feel that people are examining us like they used to examine slaves-it just doesn't sit well with me.
Like another poster said though, we usually give each other the most grief, and we should know better. It is totally wrong to run your hands through someone's hair you don't know to see if it is real, or put someone on front street. That is just more of that crab mentality
I make it a habit to tell women of color about my hair (especially if asked, and sometimes if not). There are too many who want to keep hair secrets to themselves, when more women can be helped. I wore long weaves regularly for so long, that even when I tried to tell people, they didn't believe me when I told them my hair wasn't naturally long! I hate it when people (some celebrities are big on this) volunteer a lie and say they don't have a weave when they do. Mind you, I don't get out the megaphone and broadcast it, but my feeling is, it is knowledge, and I am going to share it, so we can all reap the rewards. I personally have benefited from this, because once people see you are willing to share info, they pass along their info to you.
Anyway, to people that I know well, or will be working closely with, I just volunteer the info so I won't be mad later. I have found that secrecy breeds curiousity. Once you take the secrecy out of it by de-mystifying the topic, it usually isn't as salacious a thing for people to try to figure out anymore.
Often people are just curious, i.e., mostly White people. A woman I know said she is never offended by ignorance, so I try not to be in that case. I rather them ask me than someone who may respond with incorrect info. I was working at this place one time, (at this location I rarely changed my hair, so I didn't say anything about it) This one woman that I didn't know very well, walked up to me, asked me if my hair was real, then began to talk about this Black woman at her old job who used to wear pink, blue and other color wigs at work, and told her she wore them because her hair was "nappy."
It does kill me how inappropriate some people can be, especially in corporate. As someone else said, few people would dare to ask a woman are her breasts real, but Black women get asked all the time is our hair real. What really bothers me are the people who do not know you and ask you personal questions about your hair, or who try set up the next question by complimenting you first, then ask if your hair is real. At the job I am at now, another woman I don't know well (and didn't really care for), walked up to me and said my hair was pretty, then asked if it was mine.
Like another poster said though, we usually give each other the most grief, and we should know better. It is totally wrong to run your hands through someone's hair you don't know to see if it is real, or put someone on front street. That is just more of that crab mentality
Anyway, to people that I know well, or will be working closely with, I just volunteer the info so I won't be mad later. I have found that secrecy breeds curiousity. Once you take the secrecy out of it by de-mystifying the topic, it usually isn't as salacious a thing for people to try to figure out anymore.
